Home
How to Make Candy
BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING.
And he’s making soup. Yum!
How many pictures of Benjamin Long wearing a dress do you have?
I have…a few.
While I’m sorting them out you can read this helpful article.
“How To Make Candy”
Candy is nice, but it’s a lot of effort to get in your car, wait for the loading screen, buy the candy, eat the candy, and drive back home. So why not make it yourself? It surprisingly easy, and fun!
Step 1: Meet a wealthy heir, woo him, win him, get giant engagement ring from him.
We cannot overstate the importance of this step. In fact, we suggest making this step one of everything you do.
Step 2: Have a really cute niece and nephew.
Step 3: Put on your glasses. As we all know the laurel wreath of younger brotherhood can’t be worn with glasses.
But we’re sure you’ll find a reasonable substitute.
Step 4: Push the start button on the candy machine. Use your right hand, holding your left hand so that The Ring can supervise.
Step 5: Don’t get upset! Relax and listen to The Ring. It will tell you which lever to pull.
Step 6: Let The Ring guide you. It will tell you when the candy is ready.
Now! The Ring says it’s perfect!
Step 7: If The Ring wants candy sprinkles, use candy sprinkles. Who are you to question the wisdom of The Ring?
