No Need for Ranma!
(A Ranma One Half / Tenchi Muyo / Sailor Moon Alternate 
History)
By Ammadeau
Roy.Fokker@UNSpacy.org
http:// Ammadeau.tripod.com/fanfiction.htm

	"Ranma, I kill!"
	Aeka was more than a little surprised when Ranma ducked 
into a nearby garbage can as they both heard this battle cry.  They'd 
gone out to do the grocery shopping for Miss Saotome.  It had been 
a perfect day for Aeka, spending some time alone with Ranma, 
until they had been caught in a sudden shower.  While Aeka didn't 
like getting wet, for Ranma the problem was a little more . . . 
dramatic as he suddenly became a she.  Thankfully, with all the 
bustle of a busy street no one noticed his change.  Five minutes 
later that cry had split the air.

Chapter 9: Clash of the Purple-haired Princesses

	Two things had surprised Aeka.  There was Ranma's 
sudden cowardice, since his normal reaction to death threats was 
indifference.  He hardly reacted at all when Kuno or Ryoga shouted 
them at him.  In fact, Aeka wished that he'd be a little more 
concerned when he fought them.  He may a better fighter, but Aeka 
didn't want him to get needlessly injured.  He'd already received a 
few bumps and bruises for his cavalier attitude.  Attacking that 
yoma had nearly gotten him killed.
	Then there was the fact that the voice was distinctly female.  
Much to Aeka's discomfort girls did have a habit of attacking 
Ranma, especially that Ukyo woman, but their intentions were the 
exact opposite of wishing him harm.
	Aeka suddenly found herself confronted by a short, but 
overdeveloped girl with hair a shade of purple not unlike her own.  
She was wearing a set of what looked to be antique armor and held 
things like maces in her hands.  Her face was stamped with a 
superior and irate expression.  She pointed one of her bombori at 
Aeka and demanded in broken Japanese, "Where Ranma?"
	Aeka pointed down the street and said, "Ranma went that 
way."
	"Bad," the girl said, smashing a hole in the concrete wall 
next to her and took off in the direction that Aeka had indicated.
	Aeka waited until the girl was out of sight before she told 
the trashcan, "She's gone."
	Ranma had the decency to look embarrassed as he got out 
of the trashcan.  Thankfully it had been empty, but the smell was 
still unpleasant.
	"What was that about?" Aeka asked.
	"That was Shampoo," Ranma told her, "God, I never 
thought she'd follow me all the way to Japan."
	"And why was she following you in the first place?" Aeka 
asked with a tinge of jealousy in her voice, despite the fact that this 
girl was trying to kill Ranma.  After all, Ryoko had started out 
trying to kill Tenchi and they both knew how that ended up.  She 
also wasn't sure if all the aggression Akane showed Ranma was to 
cover up for something else.  Occasionally she was much too nice 
to him to really hate him.
	"Look, let's just get the groceries and go home, I'll explain 
on the way."

	"Oh hello sister," Sasami greeted them at the kitchen door, 
helping them to put the groceries away.  "Ranma, you have a 
guest."
	Guest?  Ranma wondered.  Had Ukyo come over for 
another visit?  Ever since she opened her restaurant and started to 
attend Furinkan she hadn't been coming over that frequently, 
mainly due to Ranma trying to keep his fiancés apart whenever he 
could.  This was helped by the fact that Aeka and Ukyo got along 
worse than him and Ryoga.  Ranma was stunned to walk in on his 
mother calmly having tea with Shampoo.
	The calm lasted five seconds, for once Shampoo spotted 
female Ranma she had her bombori out and with a cry of "Ranma, 
I kill!" lunged at him.
	Nodoka's blade flashed, severed the heads of the bombori, 
and was back in his sheath before anyone could blink.  Even 
though he'd seen it several times before, the speed at which his 
mother could move sometimes still amazed Ranma.  He also felt a 
little bit envious.  He certainly wasn't that fast, but neither was 
Tenchi or even their grandfather.  No one was entirely sure as to 
how she got so quick.
	Shampoo stared at the stumps of her bombori in surprise, 
having never met a Japanese girl of any fighting skill besides 
Ranma.  It was clear to her that Nodoka was ever more skilled than 
her daughter and a woman worthy of respect.  Maybe she has some 
Amazon blood in her, Shampoo thought.
	"Now it isn't nice to fight in the house," Nodoka chided 
them both, "Why don't the both of you sit down and explain what 
this is all about."
	Nodoka listened to the story of having come across the 
Amazon village and how Soun had mistakenly eaten part of the 
first prize thinking it was a buffet.  Akane had challenged the 
winner of the tournament, Shampoo, for the prize, but had lost 
leaving it up to Ranma to save their hides, beating the girl with one 
of surprise moves of Anything Goes School.  Result, kiss of death 
and being chased all over China.  Nodoka couldn't see what else 
her son could have done in such a situation, but wished that he 
wasn't always getting into situations like this regardless.
	"Shampoo," she turned to the girl who kept glaring at 
Ranma, ignoring what the red haired girl was saying since she was 
speaking too fast for her to translate, "Is this law the same for 
outsider males as it is females?  What I mean is if you were beaten 
by a man would you still give the kiss of death?"
	Shampoo shook her head, "Is different.  If male, then no 
kiss of death."
	"Kiss of maiming?"
	"No, if male than no hurt."
	Nodoka smiled and told her, "Well then that's okay then.  
You see Ranma is really a man."
	Shampoo blinked at her.  She thought she had heard the 
woman say that Ranma was really a man.  She looked over at the 
well developed red head.  She must have heard wrong, her 
Japanese wasn't very good after all.  For there was no mistaking 
that the Ranma that sat across from her was a woman.
	Nodoka shook her head.  It was clear to her that Shampoo 
hadn't understood, not that she could blame her.  How could she 
without a demonstration?  She decided just to show her and 
without warning tossed her still warm tea at her son.
	Shampoo wondered if throwing tea was an obscure 
Japanese custom, when she saw the changes happening to Ranma, 
the hair darkening, the form filling out, getting larger, and most 
noticeably the chest getting smaller.  Could this mean what she 
thought it did?  Had she understood the woman after all?
	"Jusenkyo?" she asked the now male Ranma.
	Slowly Ranma nodded, embarrassed to have his curse 
revealed in such a way, even to someone who was trying to kill 
him.
	"Wo da ni!"  With an all together different cry, Shampoo 
latched onto Ranma with a glomp that Ryoko would envy if she 
had been there to witness it, kissing him full on the lips.  To 
Shampoo's delight, Ranma was too stunned to resist.  It was her 
first kiss after all since no male had ever been able to beat her 
before.  She found that she liked kissing Ranma and planned to try 
it again soon, maybe just as soon as she finished this first one.
	"What is the meaning of this!!?"  Aeka screamed as she 
walked into the room to see her fiancée kissing a woman who had 
recently been trying to kill him.  Not even Ukyo had ever acted so 
bold.  Even Ryoko showed at least some restraint with Tenchi.  
Just who was this diminutive trollop anyway?
	"Wo da ni means I love you in Chinese," Nodoka 
responded, feeling a little stunned herself.  Her goal had been to get 
Shampoo to stop trying to kill her son. Apparently she'd succeeded 
beyond all of her expectations, but was starting to wonder which 
had been worse.  First Aeka and now this.  Her son was just a little 
too manly at times.
	"That is not what I am asking!"  Aeka continued to shout.
	Shampoo responded by breaking the kiss and tossing 
Nodoka a slim book marked with Chinese script, though she 
snuggled up to Ranma who was still too stunned to know what was 
going on.  Shampoo had never held anyone like this before and 
quickly found it something that she could get used to.  She 
enjoying running her hands over her new arien's strong muscles.  
Aeka looked ready to explode and take the house with her.  A real 
possibility since Ryoko wasn't there to stop her.
	Nodoka quickly flipped through the book, thankful that a 
Japanese translation was included.  "Tribal laws of the Amazons," 
she mumbled out loud, "if defeated by an outsider female, kiss of 
death.  If defeated by an outsider male . . . oh my!"
	"What is it?" Aeka insisted, resisting the temptation to 
show this Chinese hussy just how much power a Jurai princess 
possessed.
	"If a Amazon is defeated by an outsider male," Nodoka read 
out loud, "She must give him the kiss of marriage and become his 
bride."
The book fell from Nodoka's fingers.  Not another one! She 
thought, not another fiancée!  How many was that now?  Four? 
Five?  Why did she have the feeling that Shampoo wouldn't be the 
last?  She wanted a manly son, but this was getting to be 
ridiculous.  How was Ranma ever going to settle down and marry 
Aeka if he kept getting engaged to every woman he met?
	Shampoo nodded happily and snuggled closer to her new 
Arien, catching enough Japanese to guess what had been said.  
Actually, she was enjoying herself too much to care about what 
they were actually talking about, but wanted to be polite to her new 
mother in law.
	"What?!?!" Aeka screamed in confusion and rage.  Then 
with an animal snarl, she lunged at Shampoo, who quickly let go of 
Ranma and got out of the way.  This resulted in Aeka landing on 
Ranma in a very compromising position.  Ranma came out of the 
shock that Shampoo had given him, only to find himself embedded 
in Aeka's cleavage.  This being the last straw for the boy, Ranma 
fainted.  Seeing her arien being attacked by crazy girl, Shampoo 
lunged at Aeka.
	"Aeka, Shampoo, no fighting in the house!" Nodoka 
shouted, holding her katana out for both to see if they didn't 
respond to her words. She didn't want a repeat of the time that 
Aeka and Ryoko had nearly destroyed the Masaki home with one 
of their fights.  "Now we will all sit down and discuss the matter 
peacefully, is that understood?"
	Aeka nodded in understanding, being somewhat 
embarrassed by her momentary lapse of control.  Shampoo nodded 
as well, understanding the threat of the blade better than the words.  
Besides, it was right to obey the wishes of her future mother in law.  
There would be time later to deal with the obstacle.
	"Good then," Nodoka said, taking a sip of her tea, but 
leaving her katana on the table.  It was bad manners, but worth it if 
it kept people from fighting.  "As I understand it, despite the fact 
that Ranma was a female when he beat you, it counts as if he was a 
male at the time."
	Shampoo nodded.  "Is true, leaders of village consider 
Jusenkyo when making law.  Only count person's true gender."
	"Also, even though you were ready to kill my son a moment 
ago, now you're just as eager to marry him?"
	Shampoo nodded enthusiastically with a big grin on her 
face.  "Not want kill female Ranma, respect skill as warrior, but 
law say have to kill and Shampoo have to follow law.  Shampoo 
much happier to marry male Ranma.  No male in tribe ever able to 
beat Shampoo, so worried might never have husband."
	"And if Ranma doesn't marry you?"
	Shampoo looked suddenly sad since the thought hadn't 
occurred to her before.  All the boys of the village had wanted to 
marry her, so why wouldn't Ranma?  After all, she best warrior of 
her age in the village, maybe in all of China.  She was a good cook 
and many men tell her how beautiful she is.  "Shampoo must 
follow law and bring back husband.  Will be punished if return to 
village empty handed."
	Nodoka thought about this for a while.  The whole thing 
hadn't been Shampoo's fault, in her eyes and the eyes of her village 
she was doing the right and only thing that she could do.  Nodoka 
couldn't simply drive this girl away and have her punishment on 
her or Ranma's conscious.  Yet she couldn't just let this girl marry 
her son and take him away from her.
	"Shampoo, is there a certain time frame in which you have 
to do this all in?"
	Shampoo looked at her in confusion, not understanding 
what she had said.
	"What I mean is, do you have to return to your village 
soon?"
	"No, great grandmother say it's okay to take time and see 
world outside village while hunting down prey."
	"Because we have a rather unique situation here.  You see 
Ranma is already engaged."
	"Yes he is, to me!" Aeka practically yelled.
	Shampoo felt her heart sank.  If he had already had a 
fiancée when he beat her then the law wouldn't apply.  Amazons 
felt it wrong to steal another woman's property.
	"Along with two other young ladies," Nodoka continued, 
not realizing that her silence would have saved her son from 
Shampoo.
	"Wa?"  Shampoo said, confused.  Was she saying that her 
arien had three fiancés?  She knew that polygamy was illegal in 
China, but didn't know about Japan.  Still, Shampoo wasn't the type 
to share.  The other potential brides would have to be dealt with.
	"Though circumstances, not unlike your own, my son has 
become engaged to three women.  You are the forth.  He has 
promised me that he will choose one and marry her after he 
graduates high school."
	It took Shampoo a little while to understand it all, partly to 
due to her poor Japanese, but also the very nature of the situation.  
She had never heard of anything like this, but still it was a 
competition and the only one she had lost was to Ranma himself.  
She would win her arien, even if it took years. She had never lost at 
anything before.  She was just have to make sure that Ranma 
choose her, or that she was the only fiancée left to choose from.

	Ryoko was snoozing on one of the thick ceiling beams 
when something awakened her.  It was the middle of the night, but 
her cat-like eyes could make out the form of a person in the dark 
trying to move silently.  Unfortunately for this person, Ryoko's ears 
were as sharp as her eyes.
	It took her a few moments to identify this figure as 
Shampoo. Since she was obviously female, but too short to be 
Aeka or Nodoka, and too physically mature to be Sasami.  She was 
also sneaking into Tenchi and Ranma's room.   This was easy for 
Ryoko to tell since she had done the same thing several times 
before.
	Ryoko decided that rather than interfere, she would quietly 
follow and see what this girl was up to.

	Nodoka and Sasami were happily preparing breakfast in the 
kitchen when Aeka slowly made her way down the stairs.  She, 
unlike her sister, was not a morning person.  Had she a choice she 
would have slept in to a decent hour, like somewhere around noon.  
This was the one wrinkle in her plan of going to school.  She 
couldn't just teleport there like Ryoko.  To make things worse, she 
had to get up even earlier to join in on Ranma's practice sessions 
with the other girls.
	In the end though it was worth the effort.  Walking to 
school alone with Ranma (at least half way), sitting next to him in 
class, eating lunch with, and finally going home together.  She was 
even starting to get a hand of this martial arts thing.  At first she'd 
been horribly clumsy and had to endure the laughter of Ukyo.  
Thank the kami for that blonde girl with the odd hairstyle, Aeka 
thought, she makes me look coordinated.  And when Ranma 
praised her on how well she was learning it almost Aeka's heart 
burst.  She was almost up the level of that nice girl Ami, who 
seemed the only girl not offended by her presence.
	"Is that you Miss Aeka?" Nodoka asked from the kitchen.
	"Yes."  'How did she know it was me?' Aeka wondered.
	"Can you wake up Ranma, he isn't up yet."
	"Alright, I'll do so now."
	That was no real surprise to Aeka.  Ranma was usually 
good at gettin up on time ever since he'd begun the training 
sessions, but it wasn't really natural for him and occasionally he 
slept in.  Another way that they were alike, neither of them was too 
fond of mornings.  Auntie Saotome had already told her some 
amusing stories of trying to get Ranma up on time when he was 
younger.
	Aeka smiled as she walked back up the stairs.  She wouldn't 
mind waking Ranma up at all.  He was a heavy sleeper so she knew 
it might take drastic measures to awaken him.  Maybe if she held 
him close enough to hear the beating of her heart that would rouse 
him.  She knew that Auntie Saotome would approve.  Though she 
had yet to say something directly about it, Aeka knew that she was 
the one who Nodoka wanted her son to marry.  She tried to be 
subtle about it, but Mrs. Saotome was forever finding ways of 
bringing Aeka and Ranma together.  Not that Aeka minded, not at 
all.  She dreamed of the day when she could spend every waking 
moment with her beloved.
	In thinking of all sorts of interesting ways to bring Ranma 
out of slumber, most of which she wouldn't dare try, Aeka was 
completely unprepared for the sight that awaited her when she 
entered Ranma's room.
	Ranma and Tenchi share a room.  They have for six years 
despite that there were enough rooms in the house for each boy to 
have his own.  Tenchi's bed was actually closest to the door.  The 
sight of Tenchi sleeping peacefully didn't surprise her.  It was the 
sight of Ryoko lying on top of him that did it.  While she was 
concerned for Tenchi, as a distant relative, friend, and future 
cousin-in-law, she decided that it really wasn't her business how he 
or the space pirate behaved around each other.  Though she 
doubted that Tenchi was even aware of his current predicament.  
She moved on.
	What she saw next nearly caused her to faint.  Had she been 
looking at it from an objective point of view Aeka might have 
found the whole scene comical.  On one side of the room was 
Tenchi sleeping peacefully with Ryoko on top of him, while on the 
other side was Ranma sleeping peacefully with Shampoo lying on 
top of him.  She even noticed that the Chinese tramp was wearing 
some flimsy negligée, which was only a step up from wearing 
nothing at all.
	Confusion soon melted away from the searing furnace of 
Aeka's anger.  Tiny floating logs starting suddenly appearing, 
filling the whole room with electricity.

	It was five singed people who came trudging down the 
stairs some minutes later.  They all took their places around the 
breakfast table and started eating without a word.  Nodoka and 
Sasami exchanged glances.  It was clear that neither of them had 
any idea of what had happened.  Both made the immediate decision 
not to ask.

	"What?"  Ukyo as she leaned against a chain link fence for 
support, absently twisting the links like paper.
	Despite how she had felt in the morning, Aeka was 
positively smug as she related news of the new fiancée to the chef.

	Everyone was surprised when the cafeteria wall exploded, 
revealing Shampoo with a covered dinner plate.  She hopped right 
over to Ranma before he had the chance to hide and said, "Wife 
make lunch for arien," uncovering the platter to reveal P-chan lying 
in a plate of vegetables.
	Tenchi was more amused than anything else about 
Shampoo, since she made Ryoko seem reserved by comparison.  
Not that he would actually tell Ryoko that, no need to encourage 
her.  The last thing he wanted was those two to start to compare 
notes.  They were getting along too well as it was.
	Akane's friends looked at her strangely when she suddenly 
burst out laughing at the sight.  Ryoga on a plate being served to 
Ranma!  It served the pig right.  Maybe this Chinese bimbo wasn't 
so bad after all.  She could tell that this new fiance wasn't anything 
to worry about by the way that Ranma was cringing away from her.
	"Hey Ryoga, you okay man?"
	P-chan awoke wozily and attacked the first thing he saw 
which happened to be Ranma.  Aeka snatched the pig away, 
wondering why Kasumi's pet P-chan would attack her fiancée.  
Normally, Ranma and the animal seemed to get along well enough.
	Shampoo tried to snatch the pig back, but Aeka was too 
quick for her.  Shampoo drew her bombori instead.  "Then you 
obstacle, and obstacles are for killing!"
	Before Ranma could stop it, their fight had gone outside.

	Ranma found Aeka lying out in the school yard, apparently 
unhurt, and no sign of Shampoo.  "Aeka, are you all right?" he said 
concerned.  Shee had intrusted him with the care of her and her 
sister and he'd let one Amazon get to her.
	"Yes, though I feel strangely refreshed."
	"Well, we better get you home anyway.  You should know 
better than to fight Shampoo.  You may have your powers, but 
Shampoo is quick and sneaky."
	"By the way, who are you?"

	Azaka and Kamadake managed to sneak, as much as two 
floating logs could sneak, away to have a chat with Ranma.  They 
had to sneak since Aeka had forbidden them to go near the man 
whose name she couldn't seem to ever remember.  The guardians 
felt a little guilty going against her orders, but were able to since 
she hadn't said Ranma specifically.  Besides, they knew it was in 
her best interests if Ranma knew what they had seen.
	"We were summoned to her side near the end of the duel," 
Azaka started.
	"The young girl leapt to attack Aeka and we were about to 
intercede, but . . ." Kamadake added.
	"But?" Ranma asked, addressing both of them.
	". . . but instead of attacking, this girl washed her hair and 
left."  Azaka continued.
	"That was when you arrived."
	Ranma phoned Dr. Tofu, hoping that he had some idea 
what had happened.  Luckily, he had made an extensive study of 
Chinese medicine and knew what Shampoo had done.  He had an 
old scroll with the antidote formula on it, but unfortunately Kasumi 
chose that time to pay him a visit and he ended up tearing the scroll 
to shreds.  Ranma hung up the phone in defeat.

	Ranma was sitting under the vast canopy of Funaho, where 
he often went when he needed to think, when suddenly he wasn't 
alone.
	"Somebody feeling a little blue around here?" Ryoko asked 
him.  She held out a bottle of sake in the form of an offer, but 
despite how bad Ranma was feeling, he made no move to take it.  
She shrugged and downed some of the bottle herself.  Couldn't let 
it go to waste.
	"I just can't believe how bad my luck is," Ranma said after 
a while, still staring out to the small pond that surrounded the tree.  
"I turn into a girl with cold water.  I'm deathly afraid of cats.  I have 
more fiancés than I know what to deal with.  I have a whole 
assortment of rivals out to get me.  To top it all off one of my new 
friends can't even remember my name anymore."
	"That's nothing.  I was the slave of a madman for most of 
my life, got imprisoned in a cave for seven hundred years, and the 
only person I really care about treats me like some sort of monster.  
So stop griping and start coming up with ways to solve our 
problem."
	The problem of Aeka's memory loss had become mutual 
when it was clear that she was hitting on Tenchi.  Both of them 
knew he wouldn't do anything, even if he wanted to.  Tenchi 
remembered that she was Ranma's fiancée even if she didn't.  Still, 
it grated on Ryoko's nerves to see her acting that way with her 
Tenchi.  It reminded her of how ineffective her own methods were 
proving to be.  And how Tenchi's other fiancés tended to act 
around him.
	"What can we do?  Thanks to my bad luck, Kasumi walked 
in on Dr. Tofu and so he tore up the restorer formula.  Shampoo 
probably has the antidote, but it's no surprise that she refused to 
help.  The only other place I can think of to find it would be China.  
Hey, that's it!  You can take Ryo-oki and pick up the antidote in 
China!"
	"Ranma, do you have any idea how big China is?  How am 
I supposed to find this special homemade shampoo?  I doubt any 
Chinese drug store carries it.  I'm pretty sure the people in 
Shampoo's village won't hand it over."
	They were silent, lost in thought for some time when a new 
voice spoke, "May I be of some assistance?"
	They both looked up to see Kasuhito Masaki standing by 
the edge of the pool.

	Aeka, her memory now restored, felt at first relief to be 
whole again, then sad and embarrassed over the way she had acted 
with Tenchi and Ranma recently.  All these feelings were replaced 
with white-hot rage directed at the one person who had caused all 
this by violating her so.  As she marched off one thing was certain, 
Shampoo would pay and pay dearly.

	It was a week after Aeka had gotten her memory back and 
in all that time there had been no sign Shampoo, which was odd 
since Shampoo sightings had been a daily thing at the Masaki 
household.  Ranma had learned to be very cautious waking up in 
the morning or going into the furo.  Her absence surprised 
everyone, except for Aeka.  When Ranma asked what she had done 
in revenge, she simply said, "I showed her what a Jurai princess is 
capable of."
	"I never knew that you had it in you princess," Ryoko 
commented, indicating that she at least knew what had happened.
	Aeka only smiled in reply.
	Ranma was suddenly very nervous.