Shin Ranma Muyo!
Chapter 2 - A Day in the Strife
By Achariyth
Tenchi Muyo characters, places, and items belong to A.I.C. and Pioneer.
Ranma 1/2 characters, locations, and items are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi. These characters are not my own. If I ever claimed
otherwise, I would be splashed with Spring of Drowned Carrot water to
become Ryo-ohki's next snack.
Chapter 2 - A Day in the Strife part 1 - Into the Fire
Tsunami: Last time on Shin Ranma Muyo... Tenchi learned that he and
his grandfather Yosho were to leave for Nerima so that Tenchi
could study under Yosho's friend, Cologne. Ranma learned of
Cologne's new student and prepared for the worst. Finally, Ryouga
wandered into the Masaki shrine and matched wits, punches, and
energy blasts with Ryoko. As the chapter ended, Tenchi left for
Nerima without telling the girls. And now, let us continue with
Shin Ranma Muyo...
Opening Theme - "Truce", on Jars of Clay's Much Afraid album
Night fell on Nerima, and Shampoo was deep in thought. The next
day would bring the arrival of a new person, a new male, to the
Nekohanten. And Shampoo was not sure how to deal with this information.
Granted, Cologne would be torturing, er... teaching him most of the
time, but how would he react to the craziness in Nerima. She prayed to
her gods that this Tenchi would not take any romantic interest in her.
She did not need another hopeless suitor. One was enough Half way
through her intercessions, an idea blossomed in her mind. This might be
the perfect chance to get rid of either Akane or that cursed Spatula
Girl. She prayed for inspiration and her gods' blessing. Then she set
her alarm for earlier than usual. Shampoo would need to practice her
skills for the days ahead.
Shampoo awoke earlier than usual. Slipping into her clothes
before she left the privacy of her room, she left the Nekohanten to
practice her skills before her great-grandmother's restaurant opened.
Once outside, she walked to a nearby park. Upon reaching her usual
practice grounds, Shampoo stood still and unmoving. She stepped
forward, beginning her unarmed combat forms practice. She started
slowly, then sped up during each successive repetition of the form she
was practicing.
It was not often that Shampoo had time to practice her forms.
Much of her time was devoted to either working at the Nekohanten or
trying to win Ranma away from her other rivals. It was only through
sheer competition with Ukyo and Akane that Shampoo had kept most of her
skills. She had some time to practice every day, but not enough to keep
her edge in the arts she had devoted her life to. Recently, Shampoo had
noticed that her movements were starting to become somewhat sloppier
than she would have liked. She had learned her forms under the watchful
eye of Colonge, who demanded nothing less than perfection. From her
teacher, Shampoo learned complete and absolute perfectionism in her form
and movements. That, coupled with Cologne's announcement of a new
student, drove Shampoo to practice. She did not desire another fiancee
in addition to Mousse's constant pestering.
Silently, gracefully, did the Amazon flow between the individual
moves in her form. A kick here, a block there, two different punches,
then she froze in the last position in her form. It was then that she
heard faint applause. Shampoo turned towards the sound, an expression
of disapproval darkening her face. There she saw an elderly gentleman
and a teenage boy. The elder gentleman grinned at Shampoo, who, using
skills Colonge had recently taught her, sensed a strong battle aura
around him. The teenage boy was about Ranma's age. While some girls
would not find him unattractive, Shampoo was not impressed. After all,
she had already found her future husband already, even if he needed some
persuasion to formally marry her. What did impress Shampoo was that
this boy had an exceptionally powerful aura surrounding him. In fact,
the auras around both men had an ethereal quality to them, something
unlike anything else Shampoo had sensed before.
"How long you spy on Shampoo?" she demanded angrily.
The elder man bowed. "Forgive me young lady, but we were passing
by and could not help but stop and watch you practicing."
"You no answer Shampoo's question." By this time, Shampoo had
moved into a purely offensive fighting stance. The younger man gulped,
taking a step backwards.
"Just the last couple of minutes. We're sorry if we offended
you," the elder continued smoothly, unintimidated by Shampoo's hostile
manner. "Before we go, may I ask a favor?"
Shampoo did not like the sound of that. She silently cursed that
fact that she had not brought her bonbori with her. She loved the extra
reach they gave her.
"We just want directions to the Nekohanten," the younger man asked
nervously.
"What business do you have with Great-grandmother?" Shampoo
snapped.
"I forgot to introduce myself. I am Katsuhito Masaki, and this,"
he said, pointing towards the young man. "is my grandson, Tenchi. I
believe your grandmother is expecting us."
Shampoo was aghast. Slightly embarrassed, she replied, "Ai ya!
Shampoo no mean to be rude. But Shampoo no like Peeping Tom. Come,
follow Shampoo to Great-grandmother." The trio left for the Nekohanten.
It was around 7:30 in the morning, and Cologne and Mousse had just
started to open the Nekohanten for business. The Nekohanten's regular
hours fell between 10-8 every day. The daily rituals needed to prepare
the restaurant for opening only took about an hour, but Colonge knew
that her visitors could arrive at any time during the day. Thus, it
would be wise to be ready to open at any time.
"Mousse, if you don't work harder, I'll make Peking Duck out of
you tonight," Cologne snapped as she worked on the grill.
Mousse sighed, and did as Cologne asked, knowing that she was
fully capable of turning him into a quite tasty meal.
"Hmm, I wonder where Shampoo is?" Cologne muttered.
"She left to practice her forms," Mousse replied.
WHAP! Mousse became intimately acquainted with both Cologne's
staff and the wall. "What were you doing near Shampoo's room this
morning?" Mousse just twitched silently in response, unable to do much
more.
Sighing, Cologne removed her staff from the wall. I must have hit
him harder than I thought, she said silently when she realized she still
had Mousse wallpaper. Using her staff for leverage, she pried Shampoo's
self appointed husband off of the wall. Then she slapped him around for
good measure.
"Its a good thing that Katsuhito's grandson will be training here,
Mousse, because your skills disgrace the tribe," Cologne growled,
knowing well that there was a reason why Mousse's skills had
deteriorated. If he beat Shampoo, all Cologne's plans were for naught.
However, if Mousse was allowed to improve somewhat, then Son-in-Law
would have to improve to beat him, giving Shampoo an even stronger
husband. Cologne grinned at that prospect. Maybe I'm being slightly
too hard on Mousse she thought. After all, that which does not kill
Ranma only makes him stronger.
Mousse just shrugged off Cologne's insult. He had taken enough of
the troll's abuse not to let it get to him. Still, it would be good to
practice so he could give that cad Saotome a worthy fight for once.
"Great-grandmother, I home!" a feminine voice called out. She
walked into the restaurant, followed by two men.
"Why, good morning Shampoo. How was practice," the leader of the
Chinese Amazons returned her granddaughter's greeting.
"Shampoo!" Mousse rushed forward to embrace his beloved.
"Get off of me! I'm not Shampoo," Tenchi yelled, trying to pry
the Chinese boy off of him. It was bad enough that he got this from
Ryoko. He did not need someone else, especially a male, copying his
overaffectionate suitor.
"How I missed you, Shampoo."
"You're not listening to me. You don't understand, I've been
trying to tell you, I'm not Shampoo."
"I see our guests have arrived," Cologne stated matter-of-factly.
"Shampoo, you got a hair cut!" Mousse said as he stroked Tenchi's
hair affectionately.
"Um, sir, like I've been trying to say, I'M NOT SHAMPOO! Could
some get him off of me," Tenchi hollered. The Chinese boy's embrace was
beginning to cut off Tenchi's air. "Why won't you listen to me?"
"Stupid Mousse. Shampoo over here." If looks could kill, Mousse
would be ash. Then again, if looks could kill, Shampoo would have never
let Mousse reach puberty.
Mousse took his glasses out of his hair, placing them in front of
his eyes. He could see clearly now. "Shampoo!" he shouted when he
could see his beloved. As he spoke, he threw Tenchi face first into a
nearby wall.
"Don't... mind... me," the Juraian youngster groaned as he slid
down the wall. Three seconds later, Mousse made a matching impression
next to Tenchi. Shampoo stomped upstairs, furious at Mousse
"I guess things around here are never dull, are they?" a male
voice laughed.
"Its good to see you too, Katsuhito," Cologne replied cordially.
"I believe you already met Shampoo, and this blind bat is Mousse." She
motioned to the wall as she spoke. "I assume that's your grandson
Tenchi?"
"Yep. So what have you been up to lately?"
"Oh, nothing much. Just trying to get Granddaughter a husband."
"She looks like she could find one on her own."
"True, but only one has beaten her."
Katsuhito blinked until a stray detail surfaced in his mind. "Oh,
that Amazon law of yours." I thank Tsunami every night that your
daughter was married when she met me.
Tenchi gingerly tried to stand up. The pain ebbed from his body,
and he felt as if nothing had happened, at least until he moved his left
arm. "Ouch," he said, rubbing his shoulder.
Cologne looked over at Tenchi. "Looks like your grandson could
use some toughening up. I assume that's why you've come."
"Amongst other reasons." You see, Cologne, my sister and her
rival for my grandson are really starting to annoy me, and this is just
a clever ploy to find peace and quiet. Nothing more. But I never told
you about my sisters, and if Ayeka shows up, you will learn that I lied
to you all these years, so I just won't tell you about it. And Tsunami
forbid that you learn how young my real form is.
Mousse pulled himself away from the wall. He shook his head,
trying to clear it of the pain induced haze.
"Well, if that's the case, let's test your grandson's skills.
Mousse, Tenchi wants to take Shampoo on a date tonight," Cologne
shouted.
"What? I do not!" Tenchi protested in reply. Then, he noticed
the fanatical glint in Mousse's eye. "Oh no."
"Stay away from my Shampoo," Mousse shouted as he flung chains
toward his supposed rival. Whenever Shampoo was involved, Mousse could
recover from almost any blow to defeat her enemies. Thus, he showed no
signs of his earlier encounter with the wall.
"Listen to me, I've got my own girl problems. I don't want to add
to them. Grandpa, help!" the Juraian boy shouted as he twisted and
turned, hoping to avoid the deluge of projectiles aimed at him. He
tripped, avoiding most of his attacker's weapons. The small part of
Tenchi's mind not occupied by panic and concentration wondered about the
sanity of his grandfather's friends. Standing up immediately, he drew
out Tenchi-ken to defend himself. It's blue energy blade flickered into
existence, creating weak shadows on the wall. Mousse withdrew his
chains, preparing to launch a second wave. Thirty seconds later,
anything Mousse threw towards Tenchi was fit only to be recycled.
"You won't be needing that," Cologne said lazily as she disarmed
Tenchi with her staff. "Now, continue."
Cologne and Katsuhito sat at a table in the Nekohanten sipping
tea. Cologne was resting after working hard (or is that hardly
working?) at training Tenchi. Yosho just enjoyed the tea and loved the
relative peace and quiet of Nerima. Tenchi and Mousse were both
enjoying a few moments of unconsciousness on the floor.
"The more things change..."
"The more they stay the same."
"I see that your training methods have not changed since the last
time I saw you."
"Purest gold needs no gilding, Katsuhito."
Katsuhito took a sip of tea before he responded. "And my
grandson?"
"He shows potential, but it will not be easy for him. His
swordmanship is reminiscent of yours, but not as refined. His unarmed
skills are not what I would have hoped for." Cologne paused in her
appraisal for a moment. "That sword of his... it was the same spirit
sword you used when we faced Happosai."
"Yes, I gave it to him last year." Yosho had been hard pressed to
come up with a convincing explanation for Tenchi-ken's more interesting
attributes when he had joined the Amazons in their quest.
"He still has much to learn about the sword. I seem to remember
you using a shield of sorts to defend yourself against some of
Happosai's tricks."
Katsuhito tried to control his surprise. He had forgotten how
astute an observer Cologne was. "I will teach him more about the sword
later. But before that happens, he must learn to defend himself without
the... spirit sword's powers."
So the sword can be attuned to another's spiritual energy, Cologne
thought. If the tribe can acquire the weapon or any copies of it...
She left her thought unfinished but not forgotten. "Speaking about old
memories, Happosai still has not forgiven you. If he was not distracted
all the time, he would have sought you."
"Happosai is of no concern to me. The last I heard, his students
imprisoned him inside a sealed cave. I doubt if I will see him again."
A groan was heard from the floor. One of the young men was
stirring on the floor.
"The pervert escaped and lives in the same house as my
granddaughter's fiancee and rival. Once Happosai learns you are in
town, he will come here to face you, if he isn't trying to molest women
or steal their lingerie."
"Some things never change."
"Indeed." Was Katsuhito imagining things, or did he hear regret
in Cologne's voice just then?
Tenchi stood up warily and woozily. He took a step, then his body
suddenly decided it hated walking. In short, like a child trying to
take its first steps, Tenchi fell.
After an awkward pause, Katsuhito asked, "So who is the lucky man
who will marry your great-granddaughter?" It took all his effort not to
choke on the question.
"Great-grandson's name is Ranma Saotome."
"Saotome? He would not happen to be Genma Saotome's son?"
"Yes. You seem to know much about Happosai." Cologne feigned
surprise.
"'Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.' I believe
that was one of your tribe's sayings."
Cologne laughed. "It isn't, but it could have been."
"So what's this Ranma like?"
"Keep your enemies close?"
Tenchi stood up again and took another step. This time, he
succeeded. Desiring a shower and rest, he crept upstairs.
"No, I am curious about the man who defeated your great-
granddaughter."
"He's headstrong, independent, and quite the fighter. He also has
special abilities unique to his training. Ranma also has two other
fiancees, both arranged, but he has no desire to marry any of his three
fiancees at this time."
"I guess he needs some persuasion." And Tenchi thinks he has it
bad, his grandfather thought. Oh well, these girls of Ranma's cannot be
as bad as Ryoko and my sister.
"You have no idea. We have been trying to persuade him ever since
we arrived in Nerima."
Katsuhito broke out in a sweat. Cologne could be quite
persuasive, and her methods left much to be desired. But before he
could respond, he was interrupted by Shampoo's shrill shriek and a loud
thud. Katsuhito and Cologne dashed upstairs, Cologne taking great pains
to inflict great pains upon Mousse's prone form as she passed him, to
find an eraged towel-clad Shampoo trembling with rage and a Tenchi-
shaped hole in the nearest wall. Inside the hole slept an ever more
battered Juraian. Yosho could not decide whether to be ashamed or to
laugh out loud.
Cologne just shook her head as she recalculated her budget to
compensate for the additional repairs.
"Shampoo, wait up!" Tenchi yelled between breaths. The Amazon
was pedaling furiously on her bicycle up in the distance. Tenchi
running as fast as he could to follow her after her to "assist" her in
the deliveries, although he quickly learned that Shampoo needed no
assistance from him. Halfway through his run, Tenchi became envious of
Ryoko's ability to fly.
"I no wait for Peeping Tom," Shampoo called back as she increased
her speed.
"It was an accident! I didn't mean it!" Tenchi hollered. "If
Ayeka and Ryoko find out about this..." he muttered to himself.
"Shampoo no care!" She jumped her bicycle from one roof to the
next. Shampoo did notice that the shower incident was an accident, so
after the mandatory thrashing that all unwanted intrusions in showers
deserve, she had forgiven Tenchi, to a certain extent. However, her
behavior most definitely implied otherwise. If she played this right,
she might be able to lure Tenchi's affections toward Akane or Ukyo in a
parody of the good cop/bad cop routine.
Tenchi gulped as he approached the edge of the roof during his
pursuit. He leapt, only because he did not want to be separated from
Shampoo. After all, Tenchi was not sure he could find his way back to
the Nekohanten. Unfortunately, he had not, as of yet, developed the
impressive jumping ability that Shampoo, as well as many other martial
artists in Nerima, had developed. Tenchi saved himself from a very
great fall only by grabbing the roof top with his right hand. Straining
as he moved, Tenchi pulled himself up onto the roof. He had no desire
to visit the king's horses and king's men that would need to put Tenchi
Masaki back together again if he fell.
Meanwhile, Shampoo pedaled on. She had a delivery to make, as
well as a fiancee to date. She was not willing to let some slowpoke of
a new student keep her from doing her jobs. (Trapping Ranma is a full
time occupation.) Besides, it served the little slime right for walking
in on her shower. Accident or not, even though Tenchi was forgiven for
the sake of her plans, old habits are hard to break. Shampoo had been
merciful by not breaking any of his bones in the beating that ensued.
At least now she did not have to worry about Tenchi falling in love with
her.
Out of the corner of her eye, Shampoo saw something that picked up
her spirits. With a cry of "Nihao, Ranma!" she soared off of the roof
and onto her fiancee.
"Nihao, ai ren! Ranma date with Shampoo?" she asked. Then she
noticed that she, in her enthusiasm, forgotten to leap off of her bike.
"Why you under Shampoo's bike, Ranma?"
"Why do you think, Shampoo? Get away from Ranma now!" an angry
Akane warned her rival.
"Hi, Akane. Shampoo no realize you here."
"That's no surprise." Akane retorted bitterly.
Ranma twitched in pain before he spoke. "Get. Off. Of. Me," he
commanded, his voice muffled by the concrete that he had so painfully
become one with.
"Oh, sorry," Shampoo said as she moved her bicycle off of Ranma's
head. "So, Ranma date with Shampoo?"
Akane just glowered at Shampoo, visions of a battered Ranma
dancing in her head.
"Hi, Shampoo," Ranma said wearily as she stood up. Unfortunately
for him, he was splashed by cold water by someone's glass falling from
the railing. His voice modulated to a higher pitch as his body
reorganized itself into its feminine form. He winced, not at any pain,
but at the string of bad luck that was his since he visited Jusenkyo.
"Shampoo! Where did you go?" a voice called.
"Whoa, what's wrong with Mousse's voice?" Ranma asked.
Shampoo winced slightly since she recognized the voice. "That not
Mousse. That Pervert Boy."
Akane glowered at her rival before she realized that Shampoo had
not called her "Pervert Girl."
"Who?" Ranma asked, confusion written across her face.
"Shampoo explain later."
"Look out!" Tenchi called. Then Ranma winced even more when
Tenchi, having tripped before he could jump, fell onto the much abused
female Saotome. Tenchi opened his eyes, and realized that he was lying
on top of a quite attractive redhead. A small corner of his mind
reassured him that, no, this is not Washu. His eyes widened when he
realized just where on Ranma's body he had unknowingly set his hand.
Tenchi did the only thing he could do: he blushed and removed his hand
from Ranma's shirt.
"Get off of me, you pervert!" Ranma growled angrily, a bright
battle area surrounding her form. Tenchi complied readily, not looking
forward to the unavoidable beating.
"Peeping Tom better run," Shampoo singsonged.
"Ranma, settle down. It was only an accident," Akane tried to
calm her fiancee to no avail.
Ranma just cracked her knuckles in response. With a predatory
glint in her eyes, she spring on Tenchi, pummeling him with her fists.
Tenchi tried to block to the best of his ability, but the Chestnut Fist
was too much for him to block. He flew out into the street. Ranma
leapt after him. No letch ever got away with touching Ranma without a
beating. Even though Ranma was male by birth, some female conditioning
and instincts had rubbed off on his persona, especially in his feminine
form.
Please let me use the Light Hawk Wings, the Juraian teenager
begged, as yet another twenty or so punches landed in his chest. But
the surge of power and awareness that he felt whenever he used the Light
Hawk Wings never came. Fortunately for Tenchi's continued health, the
beating stopped with the sound of something hard hitting flesh. It took
the Juraian teen a few seconds to realize that it was not his flesh.
Tenchi cautiously opened his eyes and saw his attacker smashed into the
pavement.
"Stop picking on him!" a female voice shouted. Ranma once again
felt the peculiar exhilaration of flight as Akane booted her into the
stratosphere. Then she felt the all too familiar chill of the Tendo
family koi pond.
"Sorry about that. He tends to be quite sensitive about things
like that," Akane said good naturedly Tenchi's head was spinning too
rapidly to notice the unusual pronouns the Akane used.
"Peeping Tom, why you no fight back?" Shampoo asked.
"My name is not Peeping Tom," Tenchi snapped.
Shampoo just ignored him. She sighed as she realized that Ranma
was gone. "Ranma no date Shampoo," she said as she pouted.
"Is that all you can think about?" Akane growled in disgust.
"Is ugly pervert girl jealous? Tell truth now," Shampoo baited
Akane.
"I'm not jealous. You can have him for all I care," she argued
vehemently.
Now where have I heard this before, Tenchi asked himself.
"Shampoo go find Ranma then. Leave Peeping Tom and Pervert Girl.
You two make perfect couple. Shampoo have deliveries to make. Bye,"
the Chinese Amazon said just before she hopped on her bicycle and rode
away.
Akane turned to Tenchi. "I hope he didn't hurt you," she said,
smiling in the friendly manner she used around anyone who was not Ranma
or her rivals. "By the way, I'm Akane Tendo. And you just met my...
cousin Ranko." No need to tell him about Ranma's curse right away.
"She's... just being modest. She's also had some problems with the
local perverts as well." Ranma in his female form, modest? Hardly!
I'd never consider the way he walks around the house modest, but, on the
other hand, Ranma does not like people finding out about his curse. And
between Kuno and Happosai, Ranma does have problems with the local
perverts, even if he is one himself.
Tenchi groaned as he stood up. "Well, I think she can handle
herself just fine," he said as he winced, holding his side.
"I'm sorry. Ranko tends to overreact at times. By the way,
what's your name?"
"Tenchi Masaki." Finally, someone here who does not want to kill
me. What kind of town is this? Tenchi laughed nervously. "Um, do you
know where the Nekohanten is?"
Akane's expression darkened. "Why do you want to go there?"
"Well, my grandpa is a friend of the owner's, and he got this
crazy idea to bring me here on a training journey of sorts," Tenchi
replied.
Akane winced slightly at the words 'training journey.' "Oh, is
today your first day in town?" Must everyone go on those cursed
journeys?
Tenchi nodded his head. A corner of his mind was glad that Ryoko
and Ayeka were not present. He had no desire to watch the town get
leveled today.
"I'm just curious, but it doesn't seem as if Shampoo likes you
that much."
Tenchi scratched the back of his head nervously, as he was prone
to doing. "Well, I sort of walked in on her in the shower."
Akane's face darkened as she remembered another such incident.
"Really..." There was something frightening about the way she
responded.
"I don't want you to think I am a pervert, Akane," Tenchi rapidly
replied. Actually, my dad is the pervert in the family. "It was an
accident. Or perhaps a prank my grandfather was playing on me."
"Your grandfather has a strange sense of humor." I don't know
whether I should believe him or boot him into the stratosphere.
"You have no idea." Tenchi said, thinking back to some of his
grandfather's more unique training sessions.
"Who would have thought Shampoo, of all people, would actually
have a shred of modesty in her? She's worse than R-" Akane stopped as
she saw something out of the corner. "Hold on a moment, please." She
stomped towards a not that well concealed Gosunkugi. "How many times
have I told you to stop following me?" Akane screamed as she hauled him
out of his hiding place and into the air. As Gosunkugi flew towards the
horizon, one could hear him say "She actually talked to me."
Tenchi blinked in shock.
"Now, where were we?" Akane said in her most friendly voice.
"The Nekohanten..." Tenchi answered, trying to hide his
astonishment and nervousness.
"Follow me." Akane said as she walked in the direction of her
rival's restaurant. Tenchi followed closely behind. One would think he
would be used to aggressive women by now.
"We're almost there," Akane said as the pair walked down Nerimia's
main street.
"Oh, Akane, who's your new boyfriend? Does that mean I can have
Ran-chan?" a pleasant voice called out. Tenchi gulped in
embarrassment. "Wow, I didn't think you moved that quickly," Ukyo
muttered under her breath.
"Hello, Ukyo," Akane said, trying to suppress her anger. "This is
Tenchi Masaki. He's new to Nerima, and he is not my boyfriend." Akane
emphasized this last phrase.
"Hope springs eternal," Ukyo replied lightly. Then, she asked
Tenchi where he was staying. As they conversed, the trio walked into
Ukyo's restaurant. Upon learning that he was staying at the Nekohanten,
Ukyo frowned.
"Why there, sugar?" Ukyo asked. "Certainly you can find a better
place than that around here."
"Well, my grandfather and I are here on a training journey of
sorts. Its seems that the owner of the Nekohanten and my grandpa are
old friends."
"I'm sorry," Ukyo said consolingly as she stepped behind her
counter. "Can I give you some advice?"
"Sure."
"Stay away from Shampoo. If you beat her in combat, she'll have
to marry you."
"What?!"
"Its the law of her tribe," Akane answered. "My fiancee-"
"You mean our fiancee, don't you?" Ukyo interrupted.
Akane rolled her eyes and suppressed her jealousy before she
continued. Meanwhile, Tenchi noticed the temperature in the room
dropped ten degrees even though Ukyo's grill was quickly cooking a batch
of okonomiyaki. "Anyways, my fiancee beat her accidentally in a fight
and now she's trying to marry him."
"Three fiancee's?" And I thought I had girl problems, Tenchi
thought.
"That's right, sugar."
Tenchi paused. "How strange can this place get?"
"You have no idea," Akane growled.
"You'll probably find out soon. Just remember two things. Things
are not always as they seem. And no matter what you may think, things
will only get weirder," Ukyo instructed.
Both Ukyo and Akane were surprised to see Tenchi break out in a
cold sweat.
"Anyways, I need to leave. Kasumi's about ready to start dinner
and I promised to help her tonight," Akane said before she left.
Ukyo scooped up the finished okonomiyaki and placed them into a box.
"I need to visit my fiancee now."
Tenchi asked, "How am I going to get to the Nekohanten now?"
"Knowing Shampoo, if Akane's cooking, she's already on her way to
Akane's house. If you come, she should be able to take you back."
"Will Ranko be there?"
"Who knows? She tends to come and go, depending on chance and the
weather. Why do you ask?"
"I was hoping to apologize to her for our little accident
earlier."
Ukyo smiled. At least now there was one boy in Nerima that was
normal. "Let me lock up before we visit Akane's."
"By the way, why to you need to visit your fiancee now?" Tenchi
asked curiously.
"Akane's a sweet girl, even if she is my competition, but her
cooking is poisonous."
"Kind of like Ryoko's, I guess."
"Who is Ryoko?" Ukyo asked as she stepped outside.
Tenchi dashed outside, sweating now not from exertion, but from
the considerable task of covering up Ryoko's and his alien heritage.
"I'll tell you on the way there."
Ukyo just shrugged as she locked the door. "Whatever, sugar."
Ryouga, in his P-chan guise, slinked down the upstairs hallway of
House Masaki. He had to leave this crazy place as soon as he could.
After meeting the natives in the onsen, P-chan had his wounds treated by
a young girl named Sasami. Ryouga wished he could thank her for her
kindness. But it was what he saw from the vantage point of Sasami's lap
the scared him. With three angry women, one mad girl, and one ditz who
often provoked the others, the evening was rather exiting. Things had
really degenerated when Ayeka called Ryoko a liar. Mihoshi then had to
try to separate the two women before it came to blows. The resulting
ruckus after Mihoshi's head over heels approach to diplomacy enraged
Kiyone to the point that the Galaxy Policewoman shouted at the other
three for awhile. Sasami swore she could see the paint peel off the
wails during Kiyone's colorful tirade. Then Ryoko got frisky. Not
content with just having an Argument, Ryoko wanted some Abuse,
preferably inflicted on others. This promptly rearranged the nature of
the "discussion" the four women were having, as well as the nature of
the living room. It would have felt like home for Ryouga, except the
damage was far greater. What actual spooked him was the otherworldly
impressions that seemed to radiate from everyone in the room. Also
Washu's continued insistence that she scan the house repeatedly for any
signs of the intruder might also have something to do with Ryouga's
discomfort.
So it was important that Ryouga leave as soon as possible. If he
was a normal person, he would have left already, instead of walking
around in circles. However, somewhere unrecorded by history, one of the
Hibiki's picked up the infamous directional curse. So after the
seventeenth (or maybe twenty-seventh) circuit, Ryouga began looking for
another course of action. After all, sleep was starting to weigh
heavily upon Ryouga's mind. He had to wait, nestled in sleeping
Sasami's arms, until Ayeka and Washu joined the young girl in the realm
of rapid eye movement, instead of the rapid body movement so common in
Nerima and the Masaki house these days. Unfortunately for the little
pig, Washu often stayed up late to work on her latest experiment or
invention. Two in the morning was when that night's experiment ended
and Washu slipped into bed muttering dark imprecations about organic
chemistry experiments. (o/ Bubble, bubble, little tar; How I wonder
what you are; I could win a Nobel Prize; If you'd only crystallize o/)
An hour later, P-chan set out to escape.
Ryouga had lost track of exactly how much time he had spent
wandering around the house. (For you continually buffs, it is during
this time Tenchi leaves for Nerima in Chapter 1) The toil of staying up
all night had, as previously stated, begun to take a toll on Ryouga's
mind and body. Escape would have to wait until after a short nap. So
Ryouga headed for the nearest door, hoping not to have picked the room
with the resident demon summoner in it.
One note about the door before Ryouga enters it. This door had a
sign that read "Tenchi" on it. Now, in the Tendo household, each
sister's bedroom door had a sign with the girl's name on it. Since Mr.
Good Fangs had spent much of his recent life in the Tendo house, he
figured that he was walking into Tenchi's room. Although Ryouga did not
see much of Tenchi, he figured that the lone male teenager in the area
had to be less weird than the women. However, the ever present Mr.
Murphy of Murphy's Law fame had chosen to play another of his myriad of
tricks upon poor Ryouga. You see, earlier in the day Ryoko had decided
to antagonize Mommy Dearest in response to Washu's endless pestering.
How so, one might ask? After a little research, she had placed a sign
reading "137" upon Washu's lab door. This served as a reminder to the
arrogant scientist that there are some things she, in all her genius,
still could not figure out. In retaliation, Washu had placed the Tenchi
sign upon Ryoko's bedroom door, reminding her daughter that there was
something that Ryoko could not figure out. This little incident helped
explain why today's property damage was more extensive than usual. And
now back to the blunder currently in progress.
Ryouga entered the doorway, and, out of habit, curled up with the
nearest warm body. That warm body happened to be a light sleeper named
Ryoko. Said young woman had become a light sleeper in order to respond
to any perceived threats from Ayeka. Also, said young woman objected to
anything, even Ryo-ohki, in her bed while she slept. Please add to this
situation Ryoko's smoldering anger towards Washu and Ayeka. In short,
when Ryoko awoke and found her porcine nemesis (Sasami had noticed that
her new pet had been unusually and inexplicably hostile to Ryoko)
perched sleeping on her stomach, she decided to vent her frustrations by
turning P-chan into sausage. Ryouga's first realization that trouble
had found him yet again came when he was thrown headfirst into the
nearest wall.
A chase immediately ensued, reminiscent of Ranma's crazed pursuits
of P-chan. Ryoko grew frustrated by Ryouga's agility and speed, while
her determination, flight, and teleportation vexed Ryouga. Eventually,
the chase, which had ranged from throughout the Masaki house, upstairs
and downstairs, Washu's lab, two of the planets that made up Washu's
lab, and back again, ending up in Tenchi's bedroom. Ryoko was not
watching where she was flying and she tripped on Tenchi's bed and onto
what she thought was her beloved. Cursing the pig for putting her in
this situation, Ryoko prepared for the upcoming apology and also to grab
as much pleasure as she could.
Tenchi seemed to be sleeping soundly tonight. An idea was forming
in the space pirate's mind, devious and deviant in nature.
Ryoko looked around the room, partially in attempt to find her
assailant from earlier and to make sure Ayeka was not waiting to ambush
her. Seeing no signs of trouble, she proceeded with her hormone-
inspired plan. (P-chan had secreted himself into the shadows, relieved
for the breather and breathing thoughts of imminent revenge as well as
foul implications about Ryoko's personage, most of which were probably
true.)
The Demon Summoner floated above the bed and reached for the
sheets.
Kiyone Makibi, Detective First Class, Galaxy Police, fanfic-
induced insomniac, was enjoying a decent night's sleep (a rarity in
Achariyth fics). In fact, she has having a pleasant, almost rapturous,
dream in which she lived a life of normalcy, rising up in the echelons
of Galaxy Police, while Mihoshi cleaned out offices for a living. She
had just received her promotion to Field Marshal was about to be wed to
her dream man (no, it is not Tenchi) when she was cruelly and forcibly
thrust out of dreamland into the Hell that was her life by a sustained
shrill scream of surprise from a space pirate. Thinking that Ryoko and
Ayeka were physically fighting again, Kiyone decided she should add a
new verse of pain to Ryoko's wailed chorus.
Rising out of bed and through the protesting door, Kiyone dashed
towards the source of her pain. Thrusting the door open, she hissed
"What is it now?"
"Tenchi's gone!" Ryoko wailed.
"What? Tenchi's gone? Where did he go?" Mihoshi asked. "Oh no!"
Mihoshi added her cries to Ryoko's, creating a dissonant harmony that
would have only been appreciated by Narn opera enthusiasts and the deaf
(which is what you would have to be to appreciate Narn opera).
Somewhere, deep within the minuscule portion of Kiyone's mind
presently not consumed by her anger, she wondered how Mihoshi passed her
in the hallway. Kiyone thought for sure that her ditzy partner was
sleeping when Kiyone made her dramatic exit from their shared quarters.
"Sure, and now you'll blame it on Ayeka trying to seduce Tenchi in
private," Kiyone snapped.
"That is most assuredly not the case, Miss Kiyone, I have been
sleeping in the same bedroom as Sasami and Washu until now," Ayeka said
gravely.
Kiyone swore in Japanese, Jurai, Interlac, a little known dialect
of Selenese, and English. The last thing she needed was an actual
reason to be conscious right now. Her police training took over.
"Okay. Listen up. Mihoshi, get Washu in here now. Ryoko and Ayeka,
start looking around the house. Do not wake Sasami, let's not worry her
prematurely."
Mihoshi ran out of the room. Ryoko and Ayeka, deferring to
Kiyone's natural authority in such matters as well as to panic,
scrambled down the stairs to look for their beloved. All night they
intended to search for the one that their hearts loved. They would look
for him, but would not find him.
Washu entered Tenchi's room. "Oh, so Tenchi's missing? I, the
greatest scientist in the universe, shall find him for you."
"Thank you, Little Washu," Kiyone replied. She had long ago
learned the secret to successfully dealing with Washu: appeasement.
Washu summoned her holocomputer and typed rapidly. Five minutes
and a few muttered comments later, she said, "Tenchi is not here."
Kiyone growled, "It took you five minutes and your lab's
instruments to figure out what I could have told you in five seconds
with my own eyes." Appeasement had just been unceremoniously tossed out
the bedroom window by the angry hand of frustration.
"I'm not done yet, Kiyone. There's no sign of anyone that does
not live here. In fact, up until we all dashed in here, only Tenchi,
Yosho, and Sasami's pig have been in here all night."
"Miss Washu? Kiyone? What's going on?" a sleepy young girl asked
from the hallway.
Kiyone sighed. "Should I tell her the truth or you?" she
whispered to Washu.
Washu's holoscreen illuminated a point representative of a
location in the room. "Excuse me for a moment." She then approached
that point in the room.
Kiyone sighed again, as one who is mostly normal tends to do about
the events in and around the Masaki shrine. "Sasami, Ryoko was sneaking
into Tenchi's room again."
"Not again," Sasami wailed. Seeing the look in Kiyone's eyes, she
knew that there was more to the story than Kiyone had told her. "And?"
Kiyone sighed. She hated to be the bearer of bad news, especially
to a young chold like Sasami. "Only this time Tenchi was not there."
"Could he be sleeping at the shrine?"
Kiyone recoiled. She had not considered that possibility.
"Ah ha! There it is!" Washu shouted as she pulled a squirming pig
from its hiding spot. "Maybe he knows where Tenchi is."
"You have got to be kidding me!" Kiyone exclaimed in disbelief.
"No you can't! You can't take his memories, Miss Washu, you just
can't!" Sasami shouted as she tried to snatch P-chan away from the red
haired scientist.
"Settle down, Sasami. As with Ryo-ohki, I won't scan him unless
he lets me." Sasami could not see the crossed fingers from her point of
view. Kiyone could, but thought it was best not to intervene, lest she
found herself strapped to one of Washu's examining tables.
Sasami addressed the pig. "Do you want Miss Washu to read your
thoughts?"
Ryouga panicked. He tried his best to free himself from Washu's
grip while shaking his head.
"I think that's a definite 'no', Washu," Kiyone commented wryly.
"Oh, all right." Washu let the pig go. Ryouga ran out of the room
as quick as his piggy legs would let him. Washu made a note to
recapture him. There was something a little suspicious about P-chan's
reaction to being scanned.
"Where's Tenchi?" Sasami asked, tears forming in her eyes.
Kiyone hugged the young girl to comfort her. "That's what we are
trying to find out. As soon as we know, we'll go get him. Don't worry,
Sasami."
"Miss Washu! The family van's gone as well!" Ayeka panted as she
entered the room.
"Can't you scan for him from space?" Kiyone asked.
"I don't have the network of sensors I need in Earth orbit.
Besides, the van's gone. We find Nobuyuki, we'll know where Tenchi is,"
Washu replied.
"Let's meet him at work then. Everyone go back to bed. Lets get
some sleep before we start looking in the morning," Kiyone instructed.
She hoped that she could go back to her earlier interrupted dream.
Everyone scattered to their bedrooms to rest for the night. It
would be morning before they realize that Mihoshi was still searching
for Tenchi.
Ryouga slinked down the hall, looking for a protected place to
sleep. In the morning, he would try to escape this madhouse. As he
walked, a bright light surrounded him, and then he reappeared in Washu's
lab, strapped to one of the myriad of examining tables in the lab.
Washu snickered uncontrollably as she snapped her rubber gloves before
she wore them. "Let's see exactly what you know, little one."
Ryouga had barely enough time to curse Ranma before Washu's
machine descended upon his porcine head.
Mihoshi was getting tired. She had been looking for Tenchi for
over an hour, and their still was no sign of him. Her fatigue was
starting to make her hallucinate, or so she thought. She heard bushes
rustling, weird howls in the winds, and strange footprints. Mihoshi
began to lose her cool.
"What should I do? I'm so scared!" she exclaimed.
"What a haul! What a haul!" an elderly voice screeched.
Needless to say, this was not helping Mihoshi's sense of calm any.
She was visibly going to pieces.
"Sweeto!" came the cry upon the wind, then Mihoshi felt pressure
on her chest.
The resulting scream echoed throughout the hills surrounding the
Masaki shrine. Alas, the others were too tired to answer her screams.
Next time on Shin Ranma Muyo:
Tsunami: Ryoko and the other girls visit Nobuyuki at work to try to
find Tenchi. Tenchi tries to apologize to Ranma and Shampoo.
Happosai makes an appearance at the Masaki shrine. Ranma deals
with the newest arrivals to Nerima. Finally, Kuno learns of
Tenchi and Akane's meeting and seeks to confront the young
Masaki.
Ukyo: And Tsunami makes an appearance as well. Make sure you look
for the next chapter of Shin Ranma Muyo: Tsunami vers---
Tsunami: (covering Ukyo's mouth with her hand) That was supposed to
be a surprise. Anyways, Shin Ranma Muyo 3: A Day in the Strife
part 2 - The Gathering. Don't miss it!
Akane: See you there!
Tsunami: (shaking her head) These interruptions are getting
unquestionably annoying.
Closing Theme - "Temporary One", on Fleetwood Mac's The Dance album
Author's notes-
"Mister Achariyth?"
"Yes, Ayeka?"
"Could you do me a favor?"
"Go ahead, Princess, ask him out. Leave Tenchi in the hands of an
older, more mature woman."
"Why would he want anything to do with a shriveled old mummy is
beyond me."
"Girls, please stop. Ayeka, what would you like?"
"What is so important about 137?"
"Why don't I like where this is going?"
"I'm glad you asked, Ayeka. I'm going to let our resident
science expert answer this."
"Oh, no."
"Run while you still can, Ayeka."
"You two aren't going anywhere. If the reader has to listen, so
do you two."
"Thank you, Achariyth. You see, 1 divided by 137 is a commonly
recurring number, similar to pi and e. 137's inverse is a number that
holds the secrets to electromagnetism, relativty, and quantum theory.
As of now, Earth physicists have been agonizing over the meaning and
significance of 137. Not one has come up with a adequate reasoning
behind it. Werner Heisenberg once said that all the secrets to quantum
mechanics would be revealed once 137 is finally explained. Although it
is silly of Achariyth to assume that I, the greatest mind in the
universe, do not understand the secrets of 137. Now do you understand,
dear Ryoko, why reminding the galaxy's greatest mind of her ever
diminishing ignorance is a bad idea, especially when said scientist can
turn you into a water sprite?"
"Let's just go on to the rest of the notes before my brain or my
computer explodes, and the reader has to wait another four months for me
to write the next chapter."
Now to the serious stuff.
First, allow me to apologize for the long delay. Events in my
life have conspired to delay the release date on this. Add to this the
fact that I almost threw this entire story out of the window out of
frustration, and we have the four month delay. My goal was just to
finish this, as the more interesting stories come after this. I am
committed to at least four more chapters after this one. But to get to
those, I first have to finish this one. So, my apologies if this is not
up to my usual standard.
For those non-chemists reading this, let me say that the quick
blurb on chemistry I mentioned deals with the fact that it can take
between 3 and 18 hours to complete an organic chemistry experiment,
during which you have no chances to walk away from the experiment and
leave it for the entire time. You are effectively married to the
experiment for the time it takes to finish it. Think of it as cooking
recipes from Gehenna.
<<knock, knock>> Excuse me one moment, folks, while I answer my
door... Who is it? Oh no...
Akane: (hurriedly) The next episode of Shin Ranma Muyo will be
postponed because the author is being pursued by Kiyone and a
squad of Narns insulted by his opera joke. In the meantime, we
urge you to check out Achariyth's other writings, including the
first chapter of Shin Ranma Muyo, at GenSao's Tenchi site
(www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/9467/). Ouch, that's going to
leave a mark. Kiyone, be gentle, he still has to write me a
bigger part. Anyways, Shin Ranma Muyo Chapter Three (aptly
titled, if you ask me. Who needs Ranma anyway?) should be out by
June. See you then!