By DF Roeder
"Take heart, Sailor, er, Moon! In yer darkest, um, hour, Love (aw, jeez) will lift ya ta victory!"
The four Inner Senshi, Sailor Moon, and the youma all stumble to a halt and sweatdrop.
"Yeah... Uh, that about wraps it up... I think."
"You call THAT a SPEECH?!" Usagi yelled at Tuxedo Kamen.
"Hey! I ain't used to talkin' all poetic-like and stuff! Lay off, klutzy tomboy!"
"WHAT... DID... YOU... CALL... MEEEE?!"
Tuxedo Kamen stuck his tongue out at Sailor Moon, and Usagi steamed, the pavement crackling around her. The youma decided it was time to take out Sailor Moon.
"RRRAAARRRRR!!!" it screamed as it headed towards the leader of the Senshi.
Usagi whipped her head around, spearing the youma with the white glow of her eyes. "NOW IS *NOT* THE TIME!!"
Ranma jumped off the windowsill and sped towards the love of his live. "BAKA OTEMBA! GET OUTTA THE WAY!!! MOUKO TAKA--"
"PISSED MOON ESCALATION!!!"
Sailor Moon's most powerful non-tiara attack ever roared and incinerated the youma and most of the shop behind it. With her eyes still burning white, she spun on the skidding Tuxedo Kamen.
"Uh, heh heh. Hey, uh, Moon-chan, heh."
"OOOH! Moon-CHAN, is it now?! What happened to KLUTZY TOMBOY, HUH?!?! BAKA OTEMBA, HUH?!?!?!"
"Hey! Ya coulda got *hurt*!!"
"I'M THE MOON PRINCESS!! I'M SUPPOSED TO GET HURT, DAMN IT!!!"
"WELL FINE, SAILOR BAKA MOON, GET YERSELF TRASHED NEXT TIME!!! SEE IF *I* CARE!!!"
The glow guttered out in Moon's eyes, and her lip trembled. "You... you don't care...?" Water spilled down her cheeks. "WAAAHHH!!!"
"Awww, please don't cry, Usako! That's not what I *meant*!"
"I don't care about you anymore, baka! Leave me alone!" Still wailing, Sailor Moon spun on her heel and stalked down the street, trailing droplets.
Ranma tagged along, pleading. "I *do* care! Don't be mad! Yer my queen!"
"Go away!" she screeched.
They dwindled into the distance. The remaining four senshi looked at each other.
"Well, that went okay, I thought," Rei quipped. The rest nodded.
*********TAKE TWO*********
"Right! Kick some ass, Sailor Moon!" Tuxedo Kamen lounged on a nearby balcony, sipping some bottled water.
Five very-tired Senshi and a surprised youma stumbled and stared at the martial artist-turned-Prince of Earth.
"Ra-- ERRR, Tuxedo Kamen! Where's your speech?" Sailor Moon scratched her head.
"Gah. Tired 'a talkin' like that. Just kick its ass so we can all go home. That is, if you frilly girls are up to it. Ya been at it forever."
Usagi, AKA Sailor Moon, steamed. "Girls can fight, too!"
"Yeah, yeah."
"Hey! Where's your rose?" Usagi demanded.
"And your cane?" Ami squeaked.
"Weapons. Gah. Who needs 'em..."
"But, but--"
"But what? Whadda ya want me to say?" Ranma scowled and said in a sing-song, little girl's voice, dripping with sarcasm, "'VENUS LOVE-ME CHAIN'? Gag me."
"Hey, Baka!!" Minako blew a fuse. "That's a powerful attack, I'll have you know!!"
"Yeah, yeah. 'SHINE AQUA ILLUUUUUSION!' If I want a bubble-bath, I'll call ya."
Ami snapped her Mercury Computer in two, her face red with anger. She eeped. "Look what you made me DO!!"
"FINE!" Usagi stomped her foot. "If you're so high and mighty, come down here and finish this youma YOURSELF!!"
"No prob." Saotome Ranma, AKA Tuxedo Kamen, jumped down from the balcony, causally held up one hand, palm up, and said, sighing, "Mouko takabisha... bah." The magically-enhanced ki blast incinerated the youma where it stood. Ranma lowered his arm.
"So what if I don't say, 'MOON HEALING ESCALATOR!'? Bah, ya been fightin' this youma for an hour and gettin' nowhere. Pathetic... Um..." Ranma's danger sense stared spiking as five glowing Senshi advanced on him, all wielding mallets made of Silver Imperial energy.
Ranma swallowed heavily and multiple-sweatdropped. "Uh... See ya round, girls." He bounded off over the rooftops, five very pissed Sailor Scouts on his tail, screaming and waving energy mallets.