Substitutiary Pigtail-motion
A Ranma / Bedknobs and Broomsticks spamfic
By Lara
[email protected]
{Characters and situations created and owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Disney, and others. I am not claiming them as my own. The rabbit thing is Richard lawson's fault, the Nabimbo is Zen's and the rest is mine.}
The bed shook furiously as it traveled through a time-space swirl of lights and colors. The three children and two adults on it held on as it rocked back and forth.
"Hold on, children. We shan't be too much longer," the woman warned.
The bed landed with an unceremonious thud, skidding to a halt in a large, well-maintained yard. Motes of magic swirled around briefly before disippating into nothingness.
"Where the devil do you suppose we are? This doesn't look like London," the man said, getting off the bed.
Before anyone could consider answering, there was noise from above.
A young man in a red shirt and black pants, with a long braid came bounding off the roof toward them. "Filligree apogee pedigree perigee!" the woman said loudly, pointing at the boy.
Ranma's charge stopped in mid-bound, even if he was only making a break for the gate. His entire body twitched for a moment before he shrunk and dropped to the ground. In the body of a large white rabbit.
"Ranma! I didn't mean it!" a voice shouted form inside the house. The door opened and out came a girl with short hair. "Ranma!" she called again, then stopped up short when she saw the people, and the bed, in the yard. "Um..." she started.
"Akaaaneee..."
The girl flinched at the sound of the deep, menacing voice. "Oneechan, don't chase Ranma!" she yelled back inside.
A figure appeared in the door, one that made the strangers hop on the bed in preparation for an emergency escape.
"Oneechan, you didn't have to change. Ranma was just kidding."
The beastly figure shook its head. And then it spotted the fat rabbit sitting in the yard, in shock apparently, and licked its chops.
The girl got one look at this, her eyes widening comically. "Oneechan! No! That's Ranma!"
The rabbit got one look at "Oneechan" and took off as fast as he could move.
"Oneechan" quickly followed.
"Stop! Don't eat him!" the girl yelled and followed.
A young woman stepped outside with a broom in hand. "Oh, I didn't know we had guests," she upon seeing everyone the bed. "Would you like some tea?"
The woman on the bed seemed to recover quickest. "Yes, please, but if you wouldn't mind..."
"Yes?"
"Who and what were those..."
"Oh, well, Nabiki was teasing Ranma again, and Akane was trying not to..."
The rest of what was said was lost on the group of non-Japanese; they had no idea what was being talked about.
At that point, the procession returned, but in reverse. This time, it was a young woman with short hair and only what appeared to be a pillowcase wrapped around her nakedness being chased by the boy in the red shirt with the original young woman following.
[After a lot of explaining no one wants to read...]
The oldest boy, Charlie, walked up quietly to the door of the sister he had seen mostly naked. "You know, I've been ta Naboombu," he said casually.
"That's nice," Nabiki answered, ignoring him.
"Yah, i's a nice place. Though the king needed a breath mint."
"Right," Nabiki said, still reading.
"Yeah. Naboombu..."
Nabiki finally got the idea he was attempting to talk to her. She lowered her manga and looked him in the eye. "What do you want?"
Charlie shrugged. "Jus' telling you about Naboombu."
"And I care about this... why?"
"Well tha's your name, i'n't it?"
Nabiki boggled for a moment. "Noooo..." She laughed a little at the absurdity of it. "Thank goodness. My name's Nabiki, kid."
"Nabiki, Naboombu, i's close."
"Not really. Go play with your dancing underwear and your 'knobs' and just leave me alone." Nabiki stood and politely closed the door in Charlie's face.
Charlie walked away slowly, looking back twice. "It wasn't _my_ underwear... just my pants."
"Charlie, hurry now. We're about to leave."
"Yes, ma'am. I jus' need ta get my shoes," he answered loudly. The others were on the bed, waiting for him so they could all get back to London.
The sister identified as Kasumi walked out of the kitchen to see him off. "Did you find my sister?" she ask pleasantly.
"Yeah. That Nabimbo's got a real at'itude problem," he answered, getting his feet into his worn shoes.
"Nabimbo eh?"
Charlie squeaked as he was lifted into the air by the back of his jacket.
Nabiki turned him around so she could look at him. "You said the king on the island had bad breath, you don't even want to see how I can get when I'm annoyed." She growled and twitched her lip, showing off one long tooth.
Charlie gulped and nodded. "Sorry, ma'am. It'll never 'appen again."
"Good, make sure it doesn't," she warned, setting him back on the ground.
Charlie glanced back furtively as he ran to the bed and jumped on.
Nabiki shook her head and returned to her room, while Kasumi waved merrily as the bed disappeared.
Sighing, she returned to the kitchen and looked at all the work that needed to be done. Looking to make sure no one was listening or watching, she whispered, "Traguna Macoides Dregorum Sadis Dee."
Updated 3-5-99