Pyractomena Borealis Epilogue

All in all, we came out of the big fight a hell of a lot better than we had on 
our last adventure. I ended up with some stitches in my shoulder, a couple 
more on my wrist, and a cute little splint for my index finger. I decided that 
I'd have to make sure to break my middle finger next time; being able to flip 
people off constantly held a certain appeal. The rest of the guys were pretty 
much the same: Wufei and Trowa needed some stitches, Quatre had 
managed to crack a bone in his wrist, and Heero ended up with a couple 
cotton balls shoved up his nose. After the required 'You boys shouldn't 
fight' lecture, we escaped back to the school. 

Heero didn't want to talk much, and we didn't push him. He spent a lot of 
time staring blankly off into space before finally admitting that he'd felt a 
little funny for the past couple of weeks, but hadn't wanted to say anything. 
He'd been as surprised as the rest of us with what happened. Case closed. 
We called it good and let it be. Heero, determined to have better control 
over his weird power than I have over mine, has been practicing setting 
different things on fire. It's almost possible to see the little wheels in his 
head turning as he figures out what kind of applications his abilities could 
have on a mission.

Treize and Johannes left us alone, pretty much. As far as I knew, they were 
still feuding, but they were the most gentlemanly vampires I'd ever met, and 
they seemed determined not to drag us back into it. I was fine with that. 
Every now and then, when I was in Shinjuku, I'd see Tony. He'd always 
wave to me, and I'd always wave back. Who would have thought that a 
registered member of the goon squad would turn out to be a knight in furry 
armor. One with really, really big teeth.

We got new marching orders from the mads. They were nice enough to give 
us nearly a month of warning, at least. Wufei and I would be staying in 
Tokyo, Heero was to move to Nagoya, and Trowa and Quatre were to head 
off to Kyoto. We weren't too thrilled at the idea of being separated, but we 
didn't have much choice. War waits for no man, after all. Besides, we still 
had a whole month to party like it was going out of style.

And me? I went back to having nightmares, this time about the lady with 
the silver streaks in her hair. Yeah, the one that got killed because she'd 
tried to protect Trowa and I. I didn't get much sleep, but I was surviving, 
and that's how things stayed for a while. 

Then one night...

* * *

"Duo!"

Someone shook me, tearing me from the dream I'd been having. Not that I 
had a problem with it; I knew the dream all too well. Even after weeks of 
watching the woman fall, mixed sickly with images of Father Maxwell and 
Sister Helen, the dreams still hadn't lost their effect. I felt guilty and heavy 
with sin; she'd died because she'd been stupid and noble and tried to protect 
us.

"Duo!"

"Yeah, what?" I pulled myself into full consciousness. Concerned, sharp 
blue eyes were peering down at me. Heero. "What d'ya want, man?" I 
briefly considered shoving him away, but decided against it. Relations 
between the two of us were still a bit strained, though I had apologized to 
him. I didn't want to make things worse.

"You were having that dream again, weren't you." He didn't make it a 
question.

"What, the one where I'm giving a speech in front of the student body, then 
realize I'm naked?" I tried to grin, but a sharp look from him killed that 
idea. "Yeah, I am." I admitted.

Heero shook his head. "You told me the story. It wasn't your fault. She 
chose to step between you."

"Yeah, but if I hadn't been there, she'd still be alive."

"You don't know that. She could have gotten hit by a car the next day."

"But that's still better than dying with your throat ripped out." I shook my 
head. "And you don't know *that* either, Heero. Stalemate."

Heero sat back, causing the mattress between us to let out a metallic groan 
that sounded way too loud in the stillness of the room. "I think," he said 
slowly, "that if she were the kind of person to protect those she did not 
know, she would also be the kind of person that wouldn't want you to blame 
yourself."

"I wish I could believe that like you do." I put my head in my hands. "It'd be 
nice to start sleeping again."

"You can always ask her." Heero said quietly. 

I felt like someone had hit me in the back of the head with a two-by-four. 
The idea had never even occurred to me. "But how...?"

Heero treated me to a full-blown smirk. "I know where to find things out."

An hour later found us in a moonlit cemetery. I've always thought that 
cemeteries are beautiful by night; they're very peaceful. As soon as I 
stepped onto the gravel path, flares of white, ethereal energy rose from a 
few of the graves. Ghosts, shaken into wakefulness by my presence. They 
were beautiful as well, with the moonlight shining down on them. 

"Where will she be, Heero?"

"If the map I studied is correct, she should be in the southeast corner. That's 
where bodies waiting to be cremated go."

We walked down the silent path, not even disturbing the gravel. It wouldn't 
have been right to disturb the peace of this time of night. At the building, I 
picked the lock and we slipped inside. The wall was covered with metal 
cabinets, like the ones you'd see in a morgue. Wouldn't do to have your 
loved ones ripen before you had a chance to say goodbye. 

"What was her name, Heero?" I asked.

"Mimeyo Sakura." He whispered back.

Heero ended up finding her cabinet--he read kanji better than I did. We 
opened the cabinet and pulled the drawer out. She was naked, but had a 
sheet over her, for decency's sake, I guessed. The gash in her throat had 
been sewn up neatly, and her makeup had been removed. They'd even gone 
to the trouble of dyeing her hair so that it was completely black. In death, 
she looked peaceful, but still determined, and I could almost imagine that 
there was kindness in the lines of her face. 

I couldn't pace a circle around her, so I had to improvise. I'd stolen a salt 
shaker from a McDonald's a couple days earlier, and I used the salt to make 
the circle. "In this circle, I call to thee." I whispered. A pinch of dirt from 
the cemetery got dabbed on each of her eyelids, and over her heart. I put the 
same marks on myself. "With earth, I bind thee to thy body." Once satisfied 
with the placement, I pulled my pocket knife out and slashed my palm open 
so that I could add drops of blood to the dirt. "And with my blood, be born 
as my child." 

My fingers were shaking as I wiped a small portion of blood across her lips. 
"Take my gift and live again." I could feel energy draining from me, into 
her, as I made myself into a net that would hold her essence together and 
bring her coherence. "Open thy eyes, Mimeyo Sakura." I tried to imbue 
everything I knew of her into my last two words, coaxing the echo of her 
soul into waking.

I'd always known that names held power, which was why I had named 
myself. I never realized that they could contain the entire being of a person 
until now, though.

Sakura's eyes fluttered open, and she licked her lips, wiping them clean of 
the blood. I held my still bleeding hand out to her, and she took it, drinking 
my blood eagerly. She was done in just a few moments, though. She'd been 
dead for only a couple of weeks, so didn't need much of a kick start.

"Where am I?" she asked, sitting up quickly. The sheet slipped from her 
chest, revealing her small breasts. I looked away politely. Hey, even the 
dead have feelings. 

"You're in holding facility, awaiting your turn to be cremated." I said, 
finally. Honesty seemed like the best policy.

"But I'm not..." She clutched at her throat, her fingers finding the stitches. 
"How..."

I covered her hand with mine. Her skin felt like cold wax. "I brought you 
back, for just a little while, because we have business that must be finished 
between us."

Her eyes widened as she looked at me. "You...and that other boy..." 

I nodded. "You tried to protect us from a monster, and were killed because 
of it." I choked up for a moment with unwept tears. My eyes stung. "I'm...I 
need to say...I'm sorry." I could feel the tears escaping at last. I didn't care.

She reached out and brushed my tears away with cold finger tips. "You 
shouldn't apologize to me." she said. "What I did was what I did."

"You died." I said, shaking my head.

"I died how I would have wanted to, then." She smiled at me with serenity 
only the dead could ever hope to achieve. "So few people have control over 
their own death. I at least died doing something I believed in, it would 
seem."

"But..."

"No. No 'buts.'" she said, voice firm. "Refusing a gift is very rude."

That earned her a watery chuckle. "Lady, I wish I had gotten to know you in 
life." I reached out a hand and gently pushed her back down.

"If we're lucky, you'll have that chance in the next." she said.

"I'm not a good enough person, but you've given me something I can strive 
for." I smiled. "Thank you. Thank you a thousand times over." I pulled the 
salt shaker out of my pocket again and sprinkled a bit on her shoulders and 
over her heart. "With salt, thy bindings are broken." I said. Her eyes 
fluttered shut. "Rest, Sakura, and dream of a time when we'll meet again."

I didn't so much feel her leave as notice a sudden emptiness in myself. It 
didn't hurt, too badly. I felt as if I'd just been absolved of all my sins. Well, 
maybe not all of them, but one of the biggies, at least. Heero and I slid her 
back into the cabinet, not bothering to clean her up. What the hell, it'd make 
the morticians wonder.

Only then did I look at Heero. No words needed, he stepped forward and 
gathered me into his arms. With my face pressed against his shoulder, I 
truly cried, letting myself be forgiven for a sin I'd been carrying for almost 
ten years.