Ah! My Yuyu-sama!
Chapter 1
By Kristin Huntsman
Another sick Yuu*Yuu*Hakusho crossover from a somewhat silly author. This may or may not be continued into further chapters. It all depends on how inspired I get. I apologize for parts that seem to be inconsistent with A!MG/O!MG. I haven't seen the first part (or any of it, for that matter) for a while. Have fun reading!
Yuusuke was as bored as hell. And worse yet - he was hungry. Not just a normal hungry, either. He was _starving_.
<Oh hell, they're never going to come back,> he decided of his sempai. <I'm going to order take-out.> He reached for the phonebook, opened eagerly to the well-thumbed restaurants page, and dialed the first number he saw that said "take-out."
The phone rang twice, then was picked up. "Nihao, this is the Nekohanten!" a pretty voice with a bad Chinese accent said.
"Hi, I'd like to order--"
"We're closed right now, but we'll be open again in a week, as soon as our reno-"
"Dammit!" Yuusuke slammed the phone down in disgust. "Okay, what else is there?" he muttered, looking back at the phone book. "Okonomiyaki. That sounds good."
"Hello, you've reached U-chan's!" said a cheery voice on the other end. "We're closed for business right now, but--"
Yuusuke hung up again and looked for another number.
It was busy.
So was the next.
And the next.
But the number after that picked up. "Hi, I'd like to order--" Yuusuke began.
"Hello, you have reached the Heavenly Messenger Office," said a low alto voice. "One of our representatives will be right over to assist you."
"Uh, I'm sorry, I must have mis-dialed..." Yuusuke said, but there was dead silence on the other end of the line. <Figures the first number that picks up would be a wrong one,> he thought, hanging up. <I wonder what that was all about?>
"Hello, I'm sorry I took so long to get here," a soft voice said. Yuusuke looked up, and his jaw dropped as he saw the most drop-dead gorgeous redhead he'd ever seen stepping out of the mirror.
"Who-- who the hell are you?!" Yuusuke demanded immediately. He did not fail to notice that the girl was hovering an inch above the floor.
"Oh, forgive me for not introducing myself!" she exclaimed prettily. She reached into her vest pocket and pulled out a business card, handing it to Yuusuke. He glanced down at it as she continued speaking, and saw that there were roses embossed all around her name. "My name is Kurama, and I'm a first-class heavenly representative. I've come to grant you a wish."
Yuusuke absorbed this instantly. It didn't make much sense to him, but he absorbed it anyway. <This has to be a joke. This is _not_ for real,> Yuusuke decided. <People just don't pop out of mirrors and grant wishes! I bet my sempai are behind this...>
"Why do you think that?" she asked. "You don't think that this is for real? I assure you it is. I've really come to grant you any wish you make. Any _one_ wish, that it."
"_Any_ wish?" Yuusuke asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.
"Yes, any wish," Kurama agreed, kneeling down before him so that their eyes were nearer the same level, even though she was still floating on an inch of air. "If you wish to have wealth, or power, or a thousand women, it will be granted. If you wish the world to be destroyed, then we can do that too, though we prefer not to deal with that type of customer."
<I wonder is all that hair's real?> Yuusuke thought irrelevantly. <All I wanted was take-out! But since this isn't for real anyway, I may as well make a wish. Hope my sempai get a good laugh out of it.>
"I know what I want," he announced.
"Really?" Kurama asked brightly. "What?"
"I want a girl like you," Yuusuke stated, "to be with me forever."
"Ummm..." Kurama said. "There's a slight problem with that--"
A sudden beam of light connected between the heavens and Kurama. Yuusuke gaped, staring at the sudden brightness, forgetting to even shield his eyes. It glared for a long, intense, second, then vanished as quickly as it had appeared.
"-- I'm not a girl," Kurama finished, looking slightly dizzy.
"_WHAT_?!" Yuusuke demanded.
"Here, see for yourself," Kurama said. He took Yuusuke's hand and pressed it to his most definitely non-feminine chest. Yuusuke looked faint.
"But-- the hair-- Kurama's a girl's name--"
"It's bi-gendered," Kurama sighed. Being this bishounen definitely had its drawbacks. "And I _like_ long hair."
"What about the wish?" Yuusuke asked.
Kurama turned pale. "Oh no," he murmured, just as the cushion of air underneath him disappeared.
"What do you mean, 'oh no'?!" Yuusuke demanded.
"I think the wish's already been filed," Kurama replied, looking up. "It may be too late to change it."
"_What_?!" Yuusuke yelped.
"May I use the phone?" Kurama asked, already reaching for it. "I need to call the Gates of Judgement."
"Sure," Yuusuke replied, still dazed. This girl-- this _gorgeous_ girl-- was a guy?! Impossible. No guy could look _that_ bishounen...
But Yuusuke's fingers hadn't lied. Kurama had no chest. None. Less than none. He was definitely a guy, and if Yuusuke was really stuck with him forever... Yuusuke swallowed, and looked back up.
"But he wished for a _girl_, Koenma!" Kurama was protesting. "I'm not a girl! The wish should be invalid!" He listened for a long second, then sighed. "All right," he said resignedly. "I'll accept the decision for now. But get it reversed as soon as possible, ok?" He listened for a second longer, then hung up.
"So?" Yuusuke asked as Kurama turned back to face him.
Kurama sighed again. "The wish can't be reversed immediately. There's a stack of paperwork to be done first." He smiled apologetically at Yuusuke. "I'm afraid you're stuck with me for the time being."
"Great," Yuusuke muttered.
Suddenly the door opened, and several of Yuusuke's sempai walked in. They stopped and stared at Kurama.
"Urameshi," one of them demanded. "What the hell's this girl doing in here? You know there are no girls allowed in the dojo!"
"Uh, Kuwabara--" Yuusuke started, but was cut off by another of his sempai.
"You know the rules, Yuusuke," Shizuru said, quoting from the dojo's rulebook. "'If any student of Genkai's Dojo is found with a girl in their room, they shall be kicked out immediately and allowed no chance to prove their innocence.'"
"But you're a girl," Yuusuke pointed out.
Shizuru frowned. "That's irrelevant to your situation, Yuusuke. Time to go!"
"Hey!" Yuusuke yelped. "Let me go! Chu! Jin! Stop it! Kuwabara!"
The group, at Shizuru's command, grabbed Yuusuke and Kurama and carried them to the top of the thousand steps that led to the dojo. A box full of Yuusuke's belongings were set down next to him.
"Tell us where to send the rest of your stuff once you get settled in!" Kuwabara called cheerfully, just before closing the door to the dojo.
"I don't believe this," Yuusuke muttered several minutes later. He looked over at Kurama, who was looking thoughtfully into the distance. "Couldn't you have told them you weren't a girl or something?"
"I didn't exactly have the chance," Kurama pointed out. "Besides, is it really that much of a disaster?"
"Yes!" Yuusuke replied. "Where am I supposed to live? I can't go home - it's too far from here, and there's nothing between here and Tokyo except forest!"
Kurama stood up, shading his eyes from the sun. "What's that?" he asked, pointing towards where a small patch of white glimmered through the trees, a few miles away.
Yuusuke followed his gaze. "Dunno," he replied, a litle surprised. He'd never even wondered about it. "Let's go check it out," he proposed.
The patch of white turned out to be an old temple, very ruined, but somehow still standing. Barely. "I don't think it's livable," Yuusuke commented, kicking around a rock.
"Who knows?" Kurama murmured quietly, to himself. He glanced up at the setting sun. "It's too late to get anywhere tonight," he said, turning to Yuusuke. "We might as well stay here."
"Yeah, I guess you're right," Yuusuke said. He dug into the box of stuff that they'd carried down from the dojo. "There's a couple blankets in here, and some matches," he reported. "I saw dead wood for a fire. No food, though."
"I saw some edible vegetables in the gardens, and some fruit, I think," Kurama said. "There might be some fish in that lake we passed a little ways back."
"Okay," Yuusuke replied. "I'll head for the lake, and pick up firewood on the way back."
Kurama nodded, and they headed in different directions. Arriving back at the remains of the gardens, Kurama knelt down and frowned. He was responsible for Yuusuke's welfare, especially after getting him kicked out of the dojo. He had to stay with him, in any case. But how well would Yuusuke react to knowing his true nature? <... better to keep certain things hidden for now,> he decided. <I don't think he paid too much attention to what's here, so I should be able to come up with good food without making him too suspicious...>
Kurama studied the plants before him and frowned some more. They were badly overgrown, and choked with weeds, but he could sense the good, strong, growing material underneath them. Rolling up his sleeves, he got to work.
Yuusuke let out a contented sigh and fell backwards onto the ground. "That was great, Kurama," he said, turning his head to look at his new-found friend, who was busy feeding the remains of their dinner to the fire. "You're a good cook."
"I've picked up a little bit," Kurama replied, looking up and smiling. "You're the one who caught the fish, though."
Yuusuke shrugged. "Fish are stupid. Tasty, but stupid."
Kurama laughed softly, and lay down on his blanket, studying the constellations. "The night sky is beautiful here."
"Yeah," Yuusuke replied, his mind turning. "Tell me something - why did I get the number for the Heavenly Messenger Office? I was trying to order take-out pizza, and I don't think I got the number wrong..."
"Destiny," Kurama replied from the other side of the fire. "It's as simple as that. There is, or will be, some reason why the two of us needed to meet. It may never become evident, but it's there. Only Kamisama knows."
Yuusuke suddenly felt tired. "That's beyond me," he said. He yawned. "I'm going to get some shuteye. G'night, Kurama."
"Good night, Yuusuke," Kurama replied. Yuusuke curled up in his blanket and closed his eyes. He was asleep inside five minutes.
Kurama waited about half an hour, until he was sure from Yuusuke's breathing that he was deep asleep. Then he got up and walked over to the main house of the temple. <I could make this place livable...> he thought. "Yuusuke needs to be able to train, and it's my fault that he's been kicked out of the dojo. This place is the only place close enough for him to live...> Kurama knelt and picked up one of the crumbled rocks that used to form the base of the house.
He stood back up, still holding it in his hand, and looked at the house. He smiled, and the grass under his feet began to grow.
For a half hour, Kurama stood, watching his plants reconstruct the house. He used his power to take the plant material that was in the weathered wooden boards and make it as new again. And in the magic and moonlight, his shape slowly shifted to that of a strong, silvery fox spirit.
Yuusuke reluctantly opened his eyes. His solid sleep had been interrupted by something - not noise, but something. He turned over onto his side and looked across the glowing embers of the fire. Kurama wasn't lying on his side of the fire. <Probably gone to use the--> Yuusuke thought, rolling over to face the other way. What he saw stopped him mid-thought.
Someone was standing facing the house, away from Yuusuke, but it definitely _wasn't_ Kurama. This person was taller, his clothing different... and he had a set of fox ears and a tail. Yuusuke watched, wide-eyed and barely breathing, as the mass of plants and vines around the person put the house back together. <I wonder what the hell's going on?> Yuusuke thought as quietly as he could manage. He didn't want the person, whoever or whatever he was, to hear him thinking. <And where's Kurama? Am I dreaming?>
A glowing firefly lazily wandered across the clearing, breaking from its ariel display to investigate the strange, new, thing on the ground. It landed on Yuusuke's nose. He sneezed.
Kurama had just finished placing the last roof-tile on the house when he heard a noise behind him and whirled. His eyes sought through the darkness for its origin, but saw only Yuusuke, lying on the ground, still asleep. <That sound didn't come from nowhere...> Kurama thought, then shrugged. He turned back to the house, examined it with a critical eye, and was satisfied with his handiwork. The plants around him grew smaller, and smaller still, until they were once again tiny blades of grass.
<Not a bad night's work,> Kurama thought, then yawned, tired. Not tired enough to miss the soft sound of a footstep behind him, though.
"Who are you?" Yuusuke's voice quietly demanded.
<He wasn't asleep,> Kurama realized instantly. <Idiot! How could you mistake watching for sleep?!> he berated himself. Then there came the question, <What do I answer?>
"Where is Kurama?" Yuusuke asked in the same soft monotone. "What did you do with him?"
"I am Kurama," Kurama replied. He turned to face Yuusuke. "How else would I know your name, Yuusuke?"
Yuusuke's eyes widened almost imperceptably in the darkness. "But how can you be Kurama?" he asked finally. "He's human, and you're a..."
"Youkai," Kurama finished. "A youko, actually."
Yuusuke sat back down on his blanket and watched as the fox spirit that claimed to be Kurama sat down on the other, across the fire from him. "Well?" he asked.
"My name is Kurama," the youko replied, "and I'm really over four hundred years old. Sixteen years ago, I was injured and became reborn into a Spirit World family to save my life." His form blurred and Yuusuke found himself looking at a more familiar Kurama - one with red hair and green eyes. And _human_ ears. Kurama continued speaking. "Like most of my family, I work at the Heavenly Messenger Office as a representative. Your wish was somewhat unexpected."
"That's why you were re-building the temple?" Yuusuke asked. "Because you have to stay with me?"
"Not really," Kurama admitted. "Because I'm the one that got you kicked out of the dojo in the first place, I at least owe you a place near it so that you can stay and study."
Yuusuke absorbed this instantly. <So Kurama's even more unusual than I thought...> he mused to himself. <Or maybe less.>
"This is all on the level?" he asked.
Kurama nodded. "Absolute truth. I promise."
Yuusuke shook his head in amusement. "Well, this day's been odd enough already. I don't think that you being a youko can make it that much weirder." He looked over at the re-constructed house. "Is that finished?"
Kurama followed his gaze. "Mostly. I want to take a look at it in the daylight, though, before I'll feel comfortable about moving into it."
Yuusuke nodded, and yawned. "That makes sense. Let's go back to sleep, okay?"
"Sounds good to me," Kurama replied, yawning himself.
The next morning, Yuusuke woke at dawn. But looking over at the other side of the fire, he found that Kurama had woken first. <Where'd he go?> Yuusuke wondered, then shrugged. Kurama would show up sooner or later, and Yuusuke had the feeling that he really hadn't gone that far. Yuusuke stood and stretched, sleepily walking around the rebuilt house. <He did a pretty good job,> Yuusuke realized. It looked like it would last a good, long, time.
He wandered around the house, and found Kurama practicing. Yuusuke waited until Kurama came to a break in his martial arts routine, then called out, "Hey, you didn't say you were a martial artist!"
Kurama turned to him. "Youkai survive by fighting each other, mostly. I'm also a thief, if that interests you any."
"You're pretty good," Yuusuke commented, walking closer. He was hit by a sudden inspiration. "Why don't you come train at Baasan's with me?"
Kurama shrugged. "Sure. If your sensei thinks I'm good enough."
"You're pretty laid-back about things, aren't you?" Yuusuke asked.
Kurama shrugged again. "There's not a whole lot that gets me upset, after over 400 years." He grinned. "If you live that long, you'll see what I mean."
"Yeah, well, I'm not likely to," Yuusuke responded. "How's breakfast sound?"
"Pretty good, actually. Let me see what I can come up with."
Yuusuke watched raptly as Kurama walked over to the fruit trees, and saw clearly what he'd missed the night before. Kurama merely laid a hand on the tree's trunk, and it seemed to grow younger, sending out blossoms and quickly growing them into fruit. The air around him seemed to grow stiller, as if waiting for him to command it. The blades of grass underneath Kurama's feet trembled, reaching for him, gently caressing his ankles. And as if he was the epicenter of an earthquake, the effect spread from where Kurama was standing through the gardens. The weeds that he hadn't pulled out the night before withered into nothingness, while the plants that he had spared, seeing some use in them, quivered, straightening and sending out new growth.
Yuusuke stood wide-eyed, watching as the incredible change came over the gardens. What had been a messy wilderness just a few minutes before was now an ordered garden, one that any gardener would be proud of. And Kurama didn't even look winded.
"Here." Kurama tossed a perfect only-slightly-out-of-season peach at him, and Yuusuke caught it absently.
"You do this all the time?" Yuusuke asked as they sat down on the grass.
"Gardening?" Kurama looked around. "Yeah. My talent's with plants."
"I'll say." Yuusuke bit into the peach, and found it was perfectly ripe, soft and juicy and sweet. He grinned. "You're _damn_ good at this!"
"Thanks." Kurama bit into his own peach and chewed absently. "But we're going to need more than just fruit and vegetables and fish to survive."
"We're going to need money for groceries and furniture and stuff, aren't we?" Yuusuke asked, sighing. "Don't suppose you can provide that?" he asked Kurama.
Kurama shook his head. "Sorry, not me." He paused, as if listening to a voice only he could hear. "But I have a feeling... good luck will be coming your way soon."
"Really?" Yuusuke asked. "Like what?"
"Yu-u-u-u-suke!" Keiko called out. "Where are you, oniichan?" She rounded the main house of the temple. "There you are!"
"Ke-Keiko?!" Yuusuke gasped, stumbling to his feet. "What're you doing here?"
"Visiting you, bakayaro!" Keiko said, smiling. "Kuwabara-kun said you'd been kicked out for having a girl in your room, and said he'd seen you and her heading towards this house. Oh, are you her?" she asked, moving around her brother to the red-headed girl sitting on the ground behind him. She held out her hand. "I'm Yukimura Keiko. Pleased to meet you."
"I'm Kurama," the girl returned. "And I'm not really a girl - I just look like one."
"Oh, my apologies!" Keiko said, shaking Kurama's hand.
"You're his sister?" Kurama asked, standing up and indicating Yuusuke. "You have different last names..."
"We had different fathers," Yuusuke broke in. "What are you doing here, anyway, Keiko?"
"Oh, Genkai said I could come and train with her, and Kaachan wants me to keep an eye on you," Keiko replied. "Oh, that's right, I'm supposed to give you this!" She dug in her pocket and pulled out a fat envelope, handing it to Yuusuke.
"What's this?" Yuusuke muttered, opening it. Lots and lots of lovely multi-colored yen peeked out at him. "Yahoo! We don't starve!" he shouted, jumpng into the air.
Kurama and Keiko laughed merrily, and the morning sun shone down on them, full of the promise of a new day, and new friendships.
Okay, first off, yes, I'm the person who's responsible for Kurama 1/2, as well as some of Shadows and Lies, among other works. No infringements upon the rights of the creators or distributors of either series is intended, and since I'm not making any profit off of any of this, I think that anyone who would want to sue me or anything for it has to be really brain-dead. I send out my thanks to John, Sionna, Maria, and all the other members of the YYH-Noise mailing list for actually *liking* my stuff, as well as Aaron for being so DAMNED irritating by refusing to read my stories! <sigh> But I put up with him anyway...