Kurama 1/2
Chapter 3
By Kristin Huntsman
Kurama sighed in resignation. The small cottage she'd been assigned to share with Hiei was definitely devoid of his presence. She wondered briefly where he was, and decided that he'd probably gone off to sleep in a tree somewhere. Either that, or he was uncomfortable sharing a room with _her_. <So Kurama-male is okay to be around, but not Kurama-female?> she thought briefly. But it really was too late to bother heating up water to change back, and then drying off afterwards. Besides, _she_ really didn't care which body she was in. She was the same person either way, and if he couldn't deal with it, that was his problem.
<Why should changing into a girl be any different than changing into a youko?> she wondered. <And he didn't have any problem with when I _did_ shape-shift, during the Ankoku Bujutsukai.> She sighed. <I'm going to have to confront this, sooner or later,> she thought. <But not now. It's been a rough day. I get to China, fall into a cursed spring, come to a village of amazons, and get a wife, all in one day. I think that this tops my previous weirdness quotient, even by my standards.>
She sighed, and dug a long shirt from her pack. It would have only reached to mid-thigh in her male form, but as a girl, it covered her to her knees, and served perfectly well as sleepwear. She yawned, and stretched, lying down on the bed. She fell quietly asleep, and didn't notice either when rain softly began to patter on the roof, or when the door opened a few seconds later, and a small figure came inside.
Hiei looked down on the sleeping girl. <Good, he's asleep.> He unfolded the thin mattress and laid it out on the ground. Grabbing a blanket, he lay down, trying to get comfortable without much success.
Sleep absolutely refused to come.
Wondering what was the matter with himself, Hiei stared at the ceiling for a long time, listening to the rain on the roof and the sound of Kurama's quiet breathing. As a thought slowly worked its way through his consciousness, he glanced over at him - her.
The soft light that entered the room from the window illuminated the curves that comprised Kurama's female body. Hiei watched for a moment, entranced, as she breathed in and out. Kurama was beautiful, as a girl. If he hadn't known that Kurama was truly a male, Hiei might have wondered if she would give him a second look. He wasn't _entirely_ immune to the opposite sex - he just tended to ignore them, assuming that they'd return the favor. But female Kurama....
<Yeah, like a Forbidden Child would have a chance with someone like her,> he thought, turning away, facing the wall, away from Kurama. <Go to sleep, Hiei. Kurama's a guy, anyway, remember?>
Sleep did come, but the dreams were fitful, uneasy - and filled with _her_.
"Kurama," someone whispered to him.
"Yes?" he replied, turning his head to try and see who was there. No one came before his eyes.
"Not there, baka-chan," she whispered. "Here."
Kurama twisted, trying to catch the source of the voice. As he touched where he had thought she was, there was nothing there. <Damn it! Where is she?!>
"In the mirror," she answered his thought.
"Mirror?" he asked, not even wondering how she had known what he was thinking. "What mirror?"
"This one," she replied, as the light slowly brightened to the level where he could see the mirror right in front of him. "Look inside if you want to see me...."
He did. And he saw himself looking back. "I don't understand," he said, raising his hand to touch the image. "Where are you?"
As his hand touched the surface of the mirror, it rippled like the water in a pond. He drew his hand back, startled. The reflection slowly stopped its movement, and he looked back at it. "Do you understand now?" she asked him.
It was himself that spoke - the image in the mirror. His red-headed, _female_ reflection. Kurama looked at it for a second, then looked down to confirm it. He was still male. "What the--?!"
"You honestly don't get it, do you?" she asked, laughing slightly. Her husky voice sounded like bells as she laughed. "The springs affect different people in different degrees - it depends on how long you're immersed. We were in there for longer than most. Over a minute, certainly. And now, I am you. Your female mind."
"WHAT?!" he demanded.
"You see, when we're male, then you're in charge. Very male, very boyish, despite the fact that we still look very bishounen. But when we're _female_... well, I'm the part of us that would have existed if we'd been born female to start with. The part that likes weepy movies, shopping, and silk scarves." She smiled broadly. "I'm also the part of us with less inhibitions. The more dangerous part."
"I'm dreaming," Kurama said, suddenly understanding. "You're my nightmare, aren't you?"
"Do I _look_ like a nightmare, Kura-chan?" she asked, twirling. "Really, don't be stupid. This is a dream, yes, but it's _our_ dream. Us being honest with ourselves. And I am you."
"Not a chance," he replied, shaking his head. "I am male. I am a youko, and over four hundred years old. You are _not_ me."
"So I do frighten you, then," the image said, looking down. Kurama wondered reflexively if he'd hurt her feelings, then remembered that she was just a dream. She looked back up, and stepped out of the mirror. "But right now," she continued, "we're female. Feel this?" she asked, touching Kurama's chest. "What part of this feels like a boy to you?"
Kurama looked down, and saw, surprised, that the other - she - was right. She was a girl at the moment. "Don't change the subject," she growled, invoking her perogative to shift to her youko form. Her form shimmered and changed, growing taller.
"Interesting," his female double said, looking at herself. Kurama stared in shock. She was still female, but now she was a youko! She moved over to look at herself in the mirror, and he followed, stunned. He hadn't thought that the curse would carry over to his youko form!
She turned to look at him, and he almost felt frightened for a second, looking into his own eyes on a most definitely female form. "_We_ don't have a female youko form," she announced to him. "I do."
Kurama blinked. "What do you mean?" he asked, interested in spite of himself.
"This," she said, pointing a finger at his chest. He was taller than she was, he noted, by at least a head. "If we had a female youko form, you'd look like me right now. But you're still male."
Kurama tried to get that to make sense, then sighed. "Explain that in layman's terms, please?" he requested.
"You and I are counterparts," she explained. "The male and female aspects of our mind, give or take. The distinction really isn't that sharp, because we overlap some. When we're male, then you have control of our mind. But when we're in our female shape, I call the shots. Right now, I'm willing you to look like me in this dream representation. But you can't, because you _don't_ have a youko female form. You may be the dominant, because we've been male for much longer than we've been female, but I should be able to control this. Therefore, we have no female youko form."
"Okay...." Kurama said. "I still don't believe that you're me, but that at least makes sense."
"I gotta go! Ja ne!" she told him, stepping back into the mirror.
"Matta!" he cried, running after her as she turned and walked off. But he couldn't get past the glass of the mirror. "Where are you going?!"
She turned around. "To the recesses of our mind," she replied. "I don't exist anywhere but there."
"What about what you said?" he asked.
"Oh, that?" she asked. She laughed. "I was teasing you. Have fun being a girl!"
Kurama looked after her for a long minute, as she dissolved into the mists that he could see beyond the mirror. Then his reflection returned, and he leaned his forehead against the cool glass. "I wonder why my subconcious is harrassing me...." he said aloud.
Kurama woke up with a start as a cascade of hot water poured over him. He sat up, waving his arms and sputtering as the liquid stopped running. He glared up at Hiei, who was holding the kettle. "What did you do that for?" he demanded.
"Kills two birds with one stone," Hiei replied. "It got you up, and changed you back. Stop complaining."
"Sure, drown me any time you want to," Kurama retorted. "Feel free."
"It's nearly eight, and you weren't showing any signs of waking up," Hiei replied. "If you don't want to get doused, then get up earlier."
Kurama had to smile at Hiei's logic as he turned away and set the kettle down. Then he remembered his dream, and the smile faded.
"You're too quiet," Hiei said. "What's wrong?"
Kurama sighed. "My nightmare," he replied. "Or maybe my dream."
"What happened?" Hiei asked.
"I met myself," Kurama answered. "At least - my female self. I don't know if she actually exists, but she apparently spent all night trying to convince me that she does. And what's scarier - some of it made sense."
Hiei froze. "That's ridiculous," he said slowly. "You're a guy, remember?"
"Only after getting doused with hot water," Kurama replied, catching the odd note in Hiei's voice. "Is something wrong?"
"No," Hiei replied. He stood and walked out the door. Kurama stared after him, wondering what was going on.
Hiei spent the day wandering around aimlessly. After a morning practice session where he was matched against Yuusuke, there was nothing more to do. No duties, no cares - and further practice failed to interest him. Which was odd. He ususally spent most of his days practicing, or fighting for real.
So, utterly bored and uninterested in anything, he spent most of the day watching the activities of the villagers from their roofs. It bored him even further. <I don't understand how humans can live like this,> he thought, some time well after noon. <It's utterly uninteresting. The same thing, every day, every hour. Nothing ever changes.> Finally, disgusted with the stupidity of people in general, he flickered off to a tree on the outskirts of the village, and sat down, closing his eyes, to try to think of _something_ to do.
He heard laughter below him, and opened his eyes, looking down. It was Hairspray, of course. It would be. The human girl who had tricked Kurama into being her fiance. That thought almost amused Hiei, and he studied her closer. She was taller than he was, but that was no surprise. Most people were. Her hair was a nebulous shade between gold and brown, and hung in soft waves to her waist. It fell into her eyes as she chased a younger girl around the base of the tree in some idiotic human game. She brushed it back, revealing blue-violet eyes that were set into a lightly tanned face. She was nice enough, pretty in a human fashion, he decided. But the fact remained that she had trapped his friend.
One of the advantages of spending a good deal of time alone, Hiei had found, was that it tended to make you very aware of the body language of other people. He had seen the lines of her body as Kurama had beat her at the board game. She hadn't lost intentionally, he knew, but she _had_ trapped Kurama into the game in the first place. That was painfully evident. The logical conclusion was that she had wanted him to beat her. She had wanted to marry him. Which only spoke for her good taste. But for some reason, Hiei didn't like her methods. Trapping an innocent youkai (or person, he corrected himself) into _anything_ went against his grain.
<Wait. Why am I getting so possessive of him?> Hiei asked himself. <It's his life, not mine. Why should I care if he has to go get married because he screwed up?> He thought for a second, and sighed, leaning back against the trunk. He knew why. <Damn dreams!> he thought.
<But...> his conscience whispered to him. <Didn't you enjoy them?>
<Yes,> he answered himself. <I did. That's the problem. He's a guy, whether or not he has a girl's body. I should _not_ be dreaming about him, even when he's a she.>
<Why not?> he heard. <Isn't it all right for you to admit that you have an aesthetic appreciation of Kurama-chan?>
<SHUT UP!!!> he thought at himself. <He is a GUY! So am I! I will not listen to myself trying to get me to fall in love with him! Stop annoying me, before I kill both of us to get rid of YOU!>
<... Fine,> the voice said, sounding sulky. <Have it your way. But don't blame me if you do fall for him-her later...>
<Get lost!> he thought angrily at it, placing his hand on his sword. It seemed to work, because he didn't hear his stupid argumentative subconcious anymore. He softly growled, annoyed now.
Yuusuke glanced up from the bowl of rice he was working his way through, and looked at Hiei. He paused as he noticed that something was wrong, and looked more closely at him, trying to pin it down. Hiei looked up at him, halfway through his own rice, and the look in his eyes told Yuusuke to back off. Reluctantly, Yuusuke did so, returning his attention to the food in front of him.
<Hiei's annoyed by something,> he thought. <But what? He was fine yesterday, and he didn't seem to be this off this morning.> He watched carefully, covertly. But Hiei was being perfectly normal - for him, anyway. The only time during the entire meal that he seemed even more than slightly off was when Kurama asked for the soy sauce, and Hairspray passed it to him.
<What the hell is going on?> Yuusuke wondered. <The way Hiei's acting, you'd think that he was actually nervous about something. I'd almost swear that he's getting weirded out around Kurama... nah. That's stupid. Hiei's known Kurama for too long for him to get freaked by Kurama turning into a girl.> He watched, idly, as Hiei studiously and pointedly ignored him, and everyone else. The meal ended, and Hiei promptly left. <Jeez, he's even more anti-social than usual,> Yuusuke thought worriedly, watching him leave. <I wonder what's going on?>
"Hey, Shuuichi," he asked Kurama a few seconds later. "Do you know what's with Hiei?"
"Not a clue," Kurama replied, shaking his head. "But it's been going on all day. I think it might be something he needs to work through by himself."
"But you're not sure, are you?" Yuusuke asked, worried now. If Kurama wasn't sure....
"No, I'm not," Kurama replied, looking out into the darkness that Hiei had vanished into. "But if we pressure him, then he'll never ask us, even if he needs to. In the meantime...."
"We keep an eye on him," Yuusuke finished. "Gotcha."
Hiei looked up and found himself in a white room. Seeing no one around, he sat back against the wall and waited. He had the feeling that trying to get out of here, wherever "here" was, would not be a good idea. So, having nothing better to do, he waited.
"Hey, Hiei," Kurama said, walking into the room. "Have any real reason for just sitting there?"
"No," Hiei answered, seeing no reason not to just give a straight answer for once. "Why are you here?"
"I wanted to talk to you," Kurama replied, sitting down in front of him. "Do you mind?"
"What did you want to talk to me about?" Hiei asked.
"This," Kurama said, his form blurring and running, shifting, until it was obvious that he had assumed his female form.
"That's a new trick," Hiei commented, not showing his surprise.
"Not really," Kurama-female answered as he took in her clothing. She still kept the Chinese flair for fashion that Kurama had always had, and was attired in a green silky dress that didn't leave anything of her figure to Hiei's imagination.
Not that he would be imagining _that_ anyway, of course.
"So what did you want to talk to me about?" he asked her, deciding to try and ignore the possibilities of what that dress signified. And what was beneath it.
"How do you think of me, Hiei?" she asked him. "Honestly."
"You're my... friend," he managed to say, spitting out the despised word with less difficulty than he had thought he would have.
"And you're mine, too," she replied. "But there's more than that, Hiei." She paused, obviously building up to something big. "I like you, Hiei... in the way that a girl likes a boy. I have for a long time, but I didn't say anything, because I didn't think that you'd like me back in the same way. But now...."
Hiei stared for a second. "This is a joke," he said finally. "Who put you up to this? That jerk Kuwabara? Yuusuke?"
"No one put me up to this, Hiei," she said, moving closer to him. "I really do like you. Don't you like me?"
"You're a guy," Hiei said, wondering briefly if he could back away from her. But he was already against the wall, and she was right in front of him.
"No, I'm not," Kurama countered. "I'm very much a girl. Don't you think I'm pretty?"
"Aaah...." Hiei replied. He was trapped. She wouldn't let him out of an answer, and her brilliant, hypnotic, green eyes wouldn't let him look away, either. "I think you're beautiful," he muttered, _really_ wishing he was somewhere else, somewhere where she wouldn't be able to do this to him.
"So then what's the problem?" Kurama asked him. "If I like you, and you like me...."
"You're a guy!" Hiei said furiously. "Can't you remember that?!"
Kurama stood, her hands wandering to the fasteners of her dress. She slowly undid them. The silk puddled around her feet as she unfastened the last, and she slowly stepped out of the folds, moving towards him. "What part of me isn't a girl?" she asked him.
Hiei could only stare as she moved towards him. She was as exquisite in body as she was in face, scarlet hair flowing over her shoulders, caressing her slight frame. Every proportion was perfect, every line of her body tight and muscular, yet smooth and soft. He couldn't move a muscle or even think of any answer to give as she dropped to her knees in front of him. "I like you," were the last words he heard her say before her soft lips pressed against his, and the rest of the world fell away.
Hiei sat up with a start, gasping. That was without a doubt the most terrifying dream he'd ever had. Well, not terrifying, exactly, but definitely not normal, either. As his breathing slowly returned to normal, and his heartbeat began to resume its regular pattern, he glanced around the cottage to make sure no one had seen him.
His heart nearly stopped as he saw Kurama, in his male form, thank Kamisama, leaning against the wall and watching him.
"Pleasant dreams?" Kurama asked him, his expression unreadable. Hiei growled at him, and turned away, looking back down into his lap, at his hands resting there. Kurama watched him for a second longer, then said, "Hiei... you were dreaming about me, weren't you?" And it wasn't so much a question as a statement.
"No," Hiei replied hostiley, flatly denying it.
"I might believe that," Kurama said slowly. "Except for one thing. Did you know you talk in your sleep?"
Hiei looked up at him, startled. <Damn it....>
"Unless you know another female named Kurama," Kurama said evenly, "you _were_ dreaming about me."
Hiei didn't reply, and looked away again. Kurama sighed.
"Look, stop being an idiot!" he exploded. "If you're having trouble with me changing into a girl, then _talk_ to me about it! Do you think I like having you treat me like I'm the plague?!"
"... She wasn't you," Hiei said quietly. "You would never act the way she did."
"I kind of gathered that," Kurama replied. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"You turned into her. She told me she liked me - that she has for a long time. She tried to prove that I liked her. Do we really have to go over this?"
"Yes," Kurama answered firmly. "So what did she do to get you to admit that you liked her - me?"
Hiei looked away again. "She stripped," he said quietly.
Kurama considered that for a second, then started laughing. Hiei turned to look at him. "You make it sound like torture," Kurama explained. "I know that I'm not perfect, but I like to think that I'm at least a _little_ attractive in that body...." Hiei's look changed to one of annoyance. "Hold a second," Kurama said. He stood up and reached for the pail of water in the corner of the room, pouring about half of it over himself.
"Why did you do that?" Hiei demanded as the damp female Kurama sat back down.
"Our problems come from both of us not being used to me in this body," she explained. "Let's just both face them here and now and get it over with."
"I don't have problems with you being a girl," Hiei insisted, turning away.
"'I think you're beautiful,'" Kurama quoted softly. "'Can't you remember that you're a guy?!'.... Hiei, don't lie. Look, what you dreamed wasn't me, and what _I_ dream isn't me, either, but we are friends, and I don't want this stupid curse to ruin that. Can't we just talk this out?"
"Talk what out?" Hiei asked. "I don't see how talking about it will kick your female self out of either of our dreams."
"Look, Hiei, let's be honest with ourselves, just this once," Kurama argued. "You've known me long enough that you know whatever gets said inside this room will never get repeated to anyone outside of it. Trust me, okay?"
Hiei looked at her steadily for a second, then turned away. "What do you want to talk about?" he asked.
"I don't have any problems with me turning into a girl," Kurama answered slowly. "I may later, but right now I don't. My life is interesting enough so that this doesn't have much impact on the weirdness in it. I want to know what's going on in your mind that this is getting to you so badly."
"You really are human," Hiei observed. Kurama shrugged. "The problem isn't that you're a girl, it's that you're so...." His voice trailed off.
"So what?" Kurama asked.
"You're not making this easy," Hiei muttered. She shrugged again. "So... attractive," he finished with difficulty.
Kurama sat still for a minute, thinking. "Do you have a crush on me?" she asked gently.
Hiei frowned, not wanting to admit to that. "Yes," he answered finally, finding no other choice.
Kurama sighed and rested her head on a hand. "This complicates things," she said.
"You think I volunteered for this experiment in psychology?" Hiei asked. Then he looked at Kurama again. "You're not shocked or upset?"
"Why would I be?" she asked. "You're not the first guy who's had... feelings for me. And I'm not counting Karasu, either." Her face twisted in distaste. "People who say they like me, and then try to kill me don't get counted. The facts that you're my friend and that I have a new fiancee are what complicate things."
"You're not...?" Hiei asked disbelievingly.
"I love where I choose," Kurama answered. "All youkos do; it's a product of our culture. I've never thought about you that way, though. We've always been just friends."
"Oh," Hiei said. "So what happens now?"
"I seriously doubt that this'll lead anywhere," she responded. "Mostly because I don't think we're each other's types. Besides, I like you as a friend too much to risk screwing that up. Are you going to be okay with this?"
"I don't know," Hiei admitted. "I'm more of friends with you than I am anything else. But this is... weird."
"You've never liked anyone before, have you?" Kurama asked.
"No," Hiei answered shortly.
Kurama laughed slightly. "Well, better a friend than an enemy. And at least it's just my female side you're dreaming of." She paused again. "What else happened in this dream of yours?"
"You kissed me," Hiei said sourly. "Just before I woke up."
"Was I a good kisser?" she asked. Hiei looked at her, unbelieving that she could be concerned with whether she was a good kisser in his dream or not, when their entire relation had just been thrown upside down.
"I don't believe you!" he said. "I'd almost think that you really were a girl!"
"Except that if I were, we wouldn't be having this conversation in the first place," Kurama pointed out good-naturedly. She yawned. "Look, it's late. Want to call it a night?"
"Sure," Hiei replied. He laid down on his pallet and deliberately turned his head away as Kurama stripped and got into her nightshirt. She blew out the lamp.
"Good night, Hiei," she said, as she made her way over to her pallet.
"Good night, Kurama," he replied, seeing her vague outline lie down and pull the covers over herself.
There was silence for a few minutes, then Kurama spoke again. "I'll make you a deal," she said. "Let's neither of us dream about my female side tonight, okay?"
"Hn," Hiei answered softly, nearly asleep. "If you want." Then he was out.
Kurama lay awake for a little while longer, thinking to herself. <Hiei, we can't be lovers,> she thought. <I value your friendship too much. I hope that this is all that ever happens because of this curse....> A few minutes later, she fell asleep as well, and the room was filled with the soft sounds of quiet breathing.
Author's Ramblings: Disclaimer: Most characters and situations shamelessly borrowed from the imaginations of Rumiko Takahashi and Yoshihiro Togashi. The writer of this story is Japanese-impaired. Please don't sue, I have no money anyway.
Well, that aside, here it is, chapter three. Got a _little_ more serious in this one... I'm still not sure how that happened. I didn't intend for this to happen when I started.... Oh well. <shrug> This story mostly ends up writing itself, anyway.
As for Hiei having a crush on Kurama... (the term "crush" being not entirely accurate, but the closest I can get...) Well, Hiei has a rough life. Besides, you can't blame _me_ for writing this! I have a crush on Kurama myself! Fortunately, my boyfriend doesn't mind. So now poor Kurama has to deal with not only Hairspray, but Hiei as well... waitaminnit. This sounds suspiciously like Ranma.... <looks around suspiciously, then flips back through first two chapters> Oh, that's RIGHT! I'm _supposed_ to be mixing this with Ranma! <slaps self on forehead>
My thanks to John Blankenship for being my proofer, Sionna Klassen for nagging me to write more, Maria Tom for being a good critic, and the entire YYH-Noise Mailing List on general purposes.
Ja ne!
Kristin