Last revised: 01/26/00

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Duo gestured expansively at the pristine lake as it shimmered like a jewel in the bright spring sunshine. "Isn't this place great!?"

"Hn," was Heero's only response.

Out on the lake, they could see Trowa sitting in a rowboat with Quatre. As the Heavyarms pilot patiently waited for a nibble on his fishing line, the Arab pilot was happily dozing away like a golden kitten, his head comfortably snuggled on Trowa's lap.

"Aw, c'mon man! We all need a break and this is the perfect place to lie low for a while. Even Wufei's enjoying it!"

Heero glanced over to see the Chinese pilot leaning against the boathouse, his nose buried in a book.

Duo crouched beside Heero and slung his arm over the other boy's shoulder. "It's not like anyone's going to find us out here in all this wilderness, so relax! How about a swim, huh?"

There was something in Duo's voice that set off Heero's mental alarms. The Wing pilot whipped his head around to stare at his companion and saw the mischievous gleam in those bright violet eyes. He abruptly remembered that he was sitting at the very end of the dock, his feet dangling over the water.

"Duo...." Heero said ominously.

The Deathscythe pilot smiled sweetly which made Heero even more suspicious. But before he could protest his innocence, they both heard an unpleasantly familiar female voice.

"H-Heero?"

Duo groaned softly and plopped his forehead onto Heero's shoulder.

"Oh shit...."

The Wing pilot scowled and muttered under his breath, "You were saying...?" He shoved Duo aside and got up to face their unwanted visitor. In a flat voice, he asked, "What are you doing here, Relena?"

"Errr... to be frank, I don't know," the Peacecraft replied nervously.

Duo picked himself off the dock and said, "What do you mean, 'I don't know'? We're miles away from the closest city, so don't try to tell me that you found us by accident!"

Relena stamped her foot angrily. "But... but it WAS an accident! Somehow... it was like I was DRAWN here by... by something!"

The braided pilot bounced to his feet and said, "Oh please! Give me a break! If you were chasing after Heero, just say so!"

"Amazing, isn't it, but it's quite true. Finding you WAS a complete accident," commented a sarcastic female voice.

Dorothy Catalonia moved out of the shadows of the trees and walked up behind Relena. The normally confident girl had a somewhat puzzled look on her face.

"Of all the crazy...!" Duo stalked forward and snatched the road map out of Dorothy's hand. "How can you possibly call it an accident!? And how could you get lost, anyway!? All the roads in the area are plastered with signs pointing to Brisros City... and they certainly aren't pointing to this lake!"

"It's not my fault!" Dorothy snapped in an annoyed voice. "I did follow the signs and they ALL pointed to this location!"

Duo retorted sarcastically, "Oh right! A bunch of little gremlins ran around throughout the night switching all the road signs just to lead you here!"

"I'm not the least bit surprised they got lost," commented Wufei, walking up to them.

Dorothy raised one of her exotic-looking eyebrows and said dangerously, "And what are you implying? That I'm stupid?"

Wufei shrugged carelessly. "I only meant that it's hardly uncommon for females to have problems following a map or road signs."

"And where did you get that rather chauvinistic idea?" Dorothy said in an even more dangerous tone.

"It's common knowledge...."

Duo stood back and hid a grin as the conversation between Dorothy and Wufei began to degenerate into a heated argument about sexist males and the 'established' technical incompetency of females.

"He-ero?"

The Wing pilot watched warily as Relena moved closer to him, an oddly rapt look suddenly came over her face. "Perhaps there really WAS something drawing me here... to you. A force... some sort of mystical connection...."

Heero gave Duo a searing glare. After the initial annoyance had worn off, the braided idiot seemed to find the entire fiasco rather funny.

Suddenly a sharp yelp of alarm drew everyone's attention back to the lake. Both Duo and Heero whirled around, their hands instinctively reaching for their guns. To his disbelief, Heero saw a huge hand, apparently formed from water, reach out of the lake surface, and grab Trowa and Quatre. For an instant, the two pilots hung helplessly in mid-air... then they disappeared from sight as the hand sucked them down. The only trace was the wildly rocking rowboat, half full of water, and a swirl of bubbles.

"What the HELL was that!?" blurted a stunned Dorothy.

Heero shoved Duo and the frozen Relena back toward the relative security of dry land before running back to the edge of the dock.

"Heero, get back here!" Duo shouted over his shoulder as he impatiently thrust Relena at Wufei and Dorothy, who were both already standing on the shore. He turned just in time to see Heero get dragged into the lake by a tentacle of water.

"Heero!!!"

But before he could take more than two steps toward the dock, the surface of the lake bulged upward... and upward... and upward until it formed a solid wall of water that towered over the shoreline....

(....just like a friggin' tidal wave!)

That was Duo's last coherent thought as the mass of water smashed down on all of them.

"Ooohhhh...."

Duo slowly lifted his head off the glistening black floor and took a dazed look around. He was in a huge empty dome-shaped chamber whose strangely patterned walls glowed with an eerie flickering blue light. With a surge of relief, he realized that all his fellow pilots also sprawled on the floor. Relena and Dorothy were there, too, but Duo was not about to complain.

Crawling over to Heero, the Deathscythe pilot muttered, "You okay?"

"Yes. What about the others?"

They both glanced around to see everyone slowly stirring. Quatre helped Trowa to sit up while Wufei and Dorothy tried to get themselves untangled.

Suddenly, the floor immediately in front of them rippled as if turned liquid, then a black-cloaked staff-wielding figure rose out of the shimmering surface. It watched them for a moment, then said in a raspy voice, "So young...," and shook its head as if in despair.

Heero grabbed for his gun, but it was gone. Trowa and Duo found themselves similarly unarmed.

As usual, it was Duo who found his voice first. "What the hell are we doing here? And who the hell are YOU!?"

"I am... the Oracle," the cloaked figure said in dramatic tones.

"Um... is that supposed to mean something to us?"

The cloaked figure muttered, "That's right. You wouldn't know."

"Know what?" snapped Heero in a hostile voice.

With a careless gesture, the figure muttered, "Never mind that. The important thing is your purpose for being brought here."

"You mean being kidnapped!" Relena snapped in a testy voice.

Their apparent abductor merely shrugged. "You're here to perform a critical task...."

"Hold it!"

But the cloaked figure ignored Wufei's protest and continued, "You're here to save your parents' lives... and in doing so, save this dimension!"

This statement provoked a flurry of protests from Quatre, Wufei, Relena, and Dorothy.

"But my parents...."

"But my entire clan is...."

"But my real parents AND my adoptive father are...."

"But my mother and father...."

"....are already DEAD!" they ended in unison.

The cloaked figure shook its head irritably. "No, no, no. I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about your REAL parents."

"Real...?" Quatre said in politely disbelieving tones.

"....parents?" Wufei concluded in a much less polite tone of voice.

"Yes, your real parents. When you were infants, you were sent from your home dimension to another world for your own safety...."

Duo curled his lip and muttered, "Safety, he says!"

Heero's eyes narrowed in blatant suspicion, but he remain silent, as did Trowa.

The braided pilot said snidely, "Let me get this right. You plan to dump us into another dimension to save the lives of our supposed parents. Is that basically it?"

"Er... yes."

"And let me make a wild guess. We're going to show up in our 'home' world BEFORE we're even born, right?"

The cloaked figure stiffened. "How do you know that!?"

"Maxwell, are you in on this... this madman's scheme!?" shrieked Relena.

Duo rolled his eyes and drawled, "Nope. It's because that's the way it ALWAYS is in the books and the movies." There was a barely smothered chuckle from Dorothy as the braided pilot continued, "And I suppose that we have to be really careful not to let our 'parents' know exactly who we are or we'll change the flow of time or that sort of shit."

Although the cloak completely covered the mysterious speaker, they could almost sense it sweatdropping nervously.

"Um... actually, no. That's one thing you're not going to have to worry about. It doesn't matter if your parents know or not. That particular part of destiny is immutable."

Wufei muttered sarcastically, "Oh, I find THAT an immense relief."

"Er... quite." The cloaked figure coughed and tried to get back on track. "Anyway, in the next few weeks, assassins will be after your respective parents... assassins powerful enough and skilled enough to pose a serious threat to their lives. I wish to make this clear because your parents are no ordinary persons."

Dorothy said flatly, "Hurrah."

"At some point in the future, they will be needed to prevent the utter destruction of this dimension and many others. That's why it is essential that they survive until that vital moment."

All the speaker got in response was seven suspicious and unresponsive glares.

The cloaked figure snapped in exasperation, "Listen, you're going to return to your home world. Make no mistake, you have no choice in THAT matter. Now you can choose to stand by and do nothing, but don't be surprised if you start to disappear when your respective parent or parents die."

"Who says we have no choice about going?" Heero growled ominously as he rose to his feet. He took a threatening step forward but was flung back as a barrier wall of energy sparked and crackled.

"Heero!" Duo shouted, scrambling to his side. When he saw that Heero was just slightly stunned, the braided pilot stood up and said angrily, "Okay. You made your point. You're shipping us off, whether we want to go or not. But before you do, I want to know how the hell you expect us to save our parents' lives when we know absolutely nothing about their world! After all, only Wufei here can be considered a real swordsman and none of us know shit about sorcery...!"

Duo's voice suddenly trailed off. Even as his violet eyes went wide, everyone, including the cloaked figure, pounced forward and started to barrage him with a rapid stream of questions.

"How did you know that!?"

"Duo, do you know what he's talking about?"

"Maxwell....!"

"I knew you had to be involved, you conniving little beast!"

"How in the endless planes of existence did you know that your home world is governed by the force of sword and sorcery!?

"Do you remember anything about your real parents?"

"When did you...!?"

Duo flinched and clutched at his head. "NO! I don't know! I DON'T KNOW!!! IT JUST CAME OUT, OKAY!?!"

Heero gave Duo's shaking shoulder a reassuring squeeze and glared warningly at the others.

The cloaked figure stepped back and muttered, "It's just possible. After all, the others were sent away as babies, but he left as a very young child... he COULD remember...."

In a calm voice, Trowa said, "I would like to know the answer to Duo's question. From your own words, you're sending us to a world of sword and sorcery. We have our own skills, but without our own familiar weapons, it doesn't seem likely that we will be able to defeat assassins capable of killing a seasoned swordsman or sorceror."

With Heero's supportive presence, Duo had calmed down enough to start thinking clearly again. "And ignoring the issue of whether this crazy story of yours is true or not, how the hell are we supposed to find these supposed 'parents' of ours?"

The cloaked figure made a visible effort to regain his own composure. "Fair questions, both of them. But that matter has been addressed. The spell that will take you to your home world will place you within close physical proximity to your respective parent or parents. At the same time, it will allow you a brief instant of access to their memories, enough to allow you to... borrow... a measure of whatever skills your parents might have."

Wufei backed up warily and said, "Now wait a moment. I refuse... utterly REFUSE!... to let you mess around with my mind!"

"That's right!" Relena chimed in. "I don't want to have someone else's memories invading my brain!"

Duo muttered under his breath, "Yeah, she might run out of room...."

"There's no need to worry," the cloaked figure said with immense self-confidence. "There's virtually no possibility of personality leakage...."

"Virtually? I don't like the sound of that," Quatre said with a worried frown.

The cloaked figure stiffened arrogantly. "Besides, you don't have...."

"....any choice in the matter," Duo muttered. "Yeah, yeah, like tell us something we don't already know. Okay, you said that we'll be in close physical proximity of our 'parents', but it would help if you'd give us some names or pictures to work with... just in case."

"My spells do NOT go awry!"

"C'mon, you can do better than that!" Duo suddenly had a sinking feeling. "Unless... unless even YOU don't know who our 'parents' are supposed to be!"

Wufei groaned in disgust when the cloaked figure didn't immediately answer.

"Blood will tell," their abductor finally replied.

"WHAT!?" the teenagers shouted in unison.

"Blood will tell... usually... in one form or another."

"Like that's a great help!" protested Dorothy.

"Aw man, stop acting like it's some top...!"

POOF!

The cloaked figure sagged in relief as the teenagers vanished. Talk about tough audiences....

Lina Inverse -- known to many as the dreaded Bandit-Killer, the fearsome Dragon Spooker, and other much less complimentary names -- was pissed off. Normally, that was enough to send any normal person running for cover, but neither Gourry Gabriev and Xelloss the Trickster Priest qualified as normal.

Surrounding by smoking wreckage of a well-known restaurant, Lina shouted, "What the hell are you up to THIS time, Xelloss!?"

"Who? Me?" the Mazoku priest replied in a voice of injured innocence.

"Yes, you!" she snarled, pointing a finger in his direction. And when an angry Lina Inverse pointed, brave men quivered. However, Xelloss merely smiled.

"I almost won that bet with Zelgadiss, but these guys," she waved a hand at the charred and faintly twitching bodies of her attackers, "had to show up at the last moment and ruin it! Then I turn around and there you are, looking as smug and conniving as ever! Of course you're probably up to something!"

Gourry looked mildly depressed. "And we didn't even get a chance to try any of that great turtle soup."

"ARGH! Don't remind me, Gourry!" She whirled back to glare at Xelloss who had somehow located an unbroken teapot and was pouring himself a cup.

"I admit that I recently ran into an old acquaintance of yours. She sounded very determined to find you, so I agreed to help her locate you."

"Oh... just like that. A strange woman pops up, wants to know where I am and you kindly show her the way!?"

"Exactly. Hm... the ash adds an interesting favour to the tea. I could grow to like it."

"Xelloss...!" With a loud huff, Lina gave up on being angry -- it never helped when dealing with Xelloss, anyway -- and wearily muttered, "just tell me who she is."

"Well now, that's a....."

>> VOOP <<

They all glanced up and caught the briefest glimpse of bodies plummeting toward them.

".... secret!" one of the falling bodies shouted just before landing on top of the unfortunate Xelloss.

A stunned Lina found herself staring into a pair of wide, violet-blue eyes as Xelloss feebly echoed, "....secret...," as he lay twitching underneath the dazed-looking, black-clad teenager with a butt-length braid of chestnut brown hair.

"OOF!!!" grunted Gourry as he was being used as a landing cushion by not just one, but two blond teenagers -- a petite boy in a pink shirt and a taller girl with long, flowing blond hair and really weird eyebrows.

Meanwhile, in another part of town, Zelgadiss Graywords and Amelia Wil Tesla Saillune were strolling down a street after completing their shopping.

"Do you think Miss Lina's going to be able to win the bet?"

"I don't know. Probably not," he replied with an indifferent shrug.

"Still, what made you bet that Miss Lina couldn't go an entire week without blowing up a building, especially when the loser has to treat everyone to a ten course meal at the finest restaurant in Atlass City?"

Zelgadiss sighed, "Call it an experiment. I was just wondering if there was any way of getting her to cut down the property damage."

"Ooohhh... now I get it!" Amelia said with a grin. "Mr. Zelgadiss, that's so sneaky of....."

>> VEEP <<

"What the...!"

>> THUD <<

"....ouch...," groaned Amelia as a teenaged boy with a black ponytail slowly hauled himself off her petite, squashed body and muttered something about hunting down and inflicting serious and painful justice on a certain cloaked person.

Zelgadiss partially managed to sit up and stared stonily at the assailant sitting on top of him. The boy, although dressed in nothing more than a pair of obscenely tight shorts and a sleeveless shirt, stared back at him with equally stony, cobalt blue eyes.

In their honeymoon suite, Martina Zoana Mel Navratilova cuddled up against her new husband and cooed, "Darling, did I tell you how much I LOVE your hair?"

Zangulus grinned smugly and said, "Yes, but you can tell me again."

"Of course, dear...."

>> VOOP <<

>> KER-PLUNK <<

Feathers exploded from the overstuffed pillows as a blond girl landed on top of the newlywed couple.

As Zangulus lay sprawled on the floor, his eyes going around in little swirls, the girl staggered to her feet and shouted, "Heero!!! Where are you!"

Martina finally managed to fight her way through the blizzard of down feathers and screeched, "Darling!? Darling!?" She gazed around wildly. "Assassin! Prepare to face the wrath of the mighty Zoamel Gustav!"

The blond teenager peered down at the unconscious swordsman and complained, "You're not my Heero!" She turned, only to be confronted by the furious and near-naked Martina.

"What the hell are you up to!?"

"I'm looking for my Heero, of course!"

"Of all the nerve! Did Lina put you up to this!?" As she grabbed an intact pillow and began to smack the strange girl with it, Martina shrieked, "Get your own hero! You... you little tramp!!!"

"Bartender! Another pitcher of your finest!"

The pub owner couldn't pry his eyes off his customer's awe inspiring bosom. He and the other customers waited in breathless anticipation of seeing those magnificent breasts escape from their skimpy prisons, but no matter how much those breasts bounced and jiggled, the little scraps of cloth clung doggedly in place.

The bartender protested, "Ma'am, you've already had five!"

"My good man, this is my day to celebrate! Soon I'll be reunited with my old traveling companion and sidekick! HO HO HO HO HO!!!"

As dogs howled, terrified customers ran, and the pub emptied, the bartender babbled, "No! You want another pitcher, fine! Anything you want! On the house! But please, no more of that... THAT horrible laughter!"

Blithely ignoring his pleads, the extremely well-developed, scantily clad woman crowed, "Lina Inverse, prepare yourself! I have returned, your foremost rival, Na...."

>> VOOP <<

>> CRASH <<

As she peeled herself off the tabletop, the sorceress muttered furiously, "Ughhh... who... DARES to attack the peerless Naga the Serpent!?"

She scowled in confusion at the slim brown-haired teenager now sitting on top of her roast beef. He stared at her with a totally stupified and almost panicked look in his one visible green eye.

• To be Continued
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• To the Slayers crossovers
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Original portion of the fiction included here is considered to be the sole property and copyrighted to the author.