Ranmazoku
Chapter 6 - The Right Blade For The Job
By PansutoTarou5925
DISCLAIMER - I do not own the rights to Slayers nor do I own the rights to Ranma �. Long live the rightful owners of these two fine anime. This work is non-commercial and is done only in imitation of Rumiko Takahashi and Hajime Kanzaka. Imitation is the sincerest flattery, no? US rights owned by Viz and Software Sculptors. If I mention the Senshi, Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi(Sp, anyone?) and.. and.. I dunno who has the US rights, but it's theirs not mine. (I'm drawing a blank)
Author's note - This story originated from an idea on Nighthawk's page and is some guy named NesTea's fault. If he's reading this, I'm curious to know what he thinks of all this. Questioning me would be like questioning Xellos if you ask when the next section comes out, because it's a secret.
ALTAVERSE WARNING - This is an ALTAVERSE. Events, characters and the like may not resemble canon. People who are rabid canon-thumpers beware! (and eat a Dragon Slave while you're at it)
PREVIOUSLY - Ranma discovers he's not Genma's son, that Xellos is his father, that he's not even human, studies black magic under Phibrizzo, yadda yadda yadda, gets in a fight with Ryouga and curses a decent sized crowd to act like Kuno. Then he corrupts Hotaru into becoming a mazoku and put a world of hurt on some poor Daimon and Eudial. Afterwards he spied on the Inners, took Nabiki, and got Kasumi angry! Read the previous chapters, really, I'm not good at rehashing stuff.
NOTE - [...] indicates telepathic communication between Ranma and Hotaru in the Astral plane.
Ranma and Hotaru teleported to the edge of the town. "Now, we heard that they're still travelling together for a bit after destroying Phibrizzo. This sword is one of two that I know of that is capable of doing what I need. So.. take your disguise." I said, turning to Hotaru.
With a look of intense concentration Hotaru shifted her form, growing shorter and... cuter. Her former short, dark blouse and skirt transofrmed into an annoyingly cute white travelling outfit complete with cape and pink trim. Little ornaments with star degins completed the look. "I look... I look..."
"Kawaii." We both made faces at that. Getting a little water, I splashed myself, then began altering myself.
"No.. no.. a bit shorter.. the eyes are more orange, you're red.. hmm.." Hotaru looked at me pensively. "Something seems to be off."
I looked all over my (altered) female body. "What? What? I don't see anything wrong with me.."
"I think you're a little too big." Hotaru answered.
"Too big?" I thought, looking down. "Hey! I am not overweight!"
After recovering from her facefault, Hotaru shook her head. "No, your breasts are too big. Make them smaller." She smiled evilly. "Akane sized, from what you've told me." I made the necessary adjustments and noted that Hotaru's expected devotion to her lord was a little less platonic than I hoped.
"Let's just hang out on the Astral plane until Lina and Amelia are separate from the rest." I said, wondering why I was picking up girls right or left. And Hotaru was a mazoku, she shouldn't even be in love...
Our targets were sitting in an inn. And doing a job of eating that put would have put Genma or I to shame.
"Gourry! That one's mine!" the real Lina Inverse said, grabbing a particularly choice portion of meat. Her blonde companion managed to deflect her from taking most of his food, however, and retaliated, swiping a salad form in front of Lina. Lina attempted the difficult two-drumsticks-at once feat and protected her plate with her elbow.
Only one who has long studied Anything-goes can appreciate such artistry, such mastery.
"They're slobs." Hotaru said, distracting me from my learned observation. "Look at all the food they're spilling." The two of us had gotten bored spying on them from the Astral, and it was possible that Lina might notice us if we stuck around too long like that. So instead, we were hiding under robes in the corner of the inn.
Granted, Genma and I were less messy than these two. But there was a certain ferocity, a barbaric brutality not seen in my own food duels. At this rate, the food would soon be finished, even given the copious amounts they had ordered. I was ready to cry. The sacrifices I had to make for my mission! I pulled my hood down closer over my head. From where we were seated, the companions couldn't see us. Our plan was simple. First, we wait until Lina and Amelia separate from the others. Then, we descend upon the small-brained swordsman and 'borrow' the Sword of Light. The only problem was that the people in question were finishing off a meal fit for fourty and showing no signs of slowing down. "This is getting old. Wait right here." I got up and walked into the kitchen nonchalantly. It was a whirlwind of activity, chefs running all over the place to try to keep ahead of the ravenous demand from one table.
"Hey! What are you doing back here?" an annoyed waiter said, bumping into me. I gave him an evil smile, and punched him.
A waiter flying headfirst into a giant pot of soup will grab anyone's attention. I worked fast, smashing as much of the kitchen as I could while fending off the wild attacks of the cooks. For a trained martial artist, defeating a horde of untrained but highly motivated attackers is child's play. Even Akane can do it. Defeating said horde while simultaneously demolishing a room and devouring all the food (except for the soup), that takes skill. I finished off the chefs and left through a window. I didn't want Lina to catch me coming out of the kitchen. There would be hell to pay if that happened.
I walked back in and sat back down with Hotaru just as Lina got word of the untimely destruction of the kitchen. "WHAT?" she screamed. The waiter was picked up and looked as if he were about to piss his pants or something. Lina could have taught Soun a thing or two about the demon head strike. Then she collapsed and turned big teary eyes on the waiter. "Then.. no strawberry cheesecake?" The waiter shook his head stiffly. "No ice cream parfait with cherries and whipped cream?" Amelia was beginning to feel a little teary at this, too, as the waiter shook his head. Lina dropped him back on his feet. "No apple cobbler?" She was answered by a final shake of the head.
"No miss, our kitchen was destoyed by some.. er... what are you doing?" he said, nervously looking down at the growling Lina. He was quickly pulled back by a nervous Gourry and Zelgadis.
"Look, you don't want to be near her when she hasn't had her sugar fix for the day." Zelgadis said calmly.
"I beg your pardon?" the nervous waiter asked. Lina, on the other hand, was marching across the inn to some scruffy types at the bar.
"Just watch. She has to let off steam somehow." Zelgadis said, taking a sip of tea and keeping one eye on Lina. I elbowed Hotaru. Lina and company weren't the only ones getting a good meal at this inn, and we could tell the fun hadn't even started.
"Let's see what happens. We might be making some changes to our plans." I said, standing up. It didn't require mazoku senses to tell the shit was about to hit the fan.
"ALL your plans seem to be redone on the fly." Hotaru mumbled as she shifted in her chair. "Can't you ever commit to one course of action?"
I loked wounded. "Don't be silly. Flexibility and adaptability are my trademarks. And you get that by NEVER committing. Especially this early in the game." I turned back to Lina. "I bet those guys are bandits, or wannabe bandits, and she's going to have them for dessert."
Sure enough, Lina walked up to the biggest and meanest of the lot and poked him in the shoulder. "Hey. I've heard you boys are thieves." she said conversationally. The big guy shifted around in his chair to face her.
"So what if we are..URK!" he answered, then got a look at his questioner. "It's LINA INVERSE!" he gasped. The rest of the roughs got up in shock. Lina preened, assuaged by her notoriety. "The natural enemy of all who live!" That made the anger roll off of her in waves. Hotaru and I took a few steps closer to the cornucopia. Most of the people had a slightly different reaction.
"I dunno about that, Mr Bandit," she said, keeping her gaze low. "But I'm sure as hell the enemy of YOU!" With that she stretched out her arm. "FIIIIREBALL!"
The fight was predictably short and was all that could be expected. Namely, that when confronted with a sorceress of ridiculous power like Lina, they were lucky to survive at all. I nudged Hotaru and slightly changed my costume. We wanted to look like obsessed fans for this, not long lost twins. "Me Ranko. You Jain." I said, smiling.
Hotaru stopped and rested a finger on her chin. "I don't like that name. How about..." she trailed off, thinking. "Sharra!"
"Sharra?" I asked flatly.
"Well, it was my name back in the Silver Millenium. So why not use it?" she answered. I shrugged and wove my way through the crowd of onlookers. Hotaru started subtly changing her own costume in a move away from Amelia's style (and with an eye toward less kawaii overkill). Lina Inverse was currently wiping her hands and smiling nastily as she walked away from the still smoking bandits. The inn owner was nowhere in sight. He must have had an attack of brains and decided he needed to be somewhere. Anywhere. Preferably away from Lina.
I poked the smiling sorceress. "Yeah, whaaaaa-?" she said as she turned around. She looked me up and down for a few seconds in confusion. "Did Mom have another GAAAH..." she said, now noticing Hotaru. She then fainted.
I looked over at Hotaru. "I think the idea of two Amelias was too much for her." We heard a few another thud behind us and a large crash. Gourry and Zelgadis were both lying face down on the ground too.
"Mr Gourry? Mr Zelgadis?" Amelia asked worriedly. She then noticed Lina was out. "MISS LINA!" she said, running over to the prone sorceress. Lina regained just enough consciousness to see Amelia and Hotaru again, and passed out again.
"I think the concept of two Amelias is a little too much for Lina." I looked at the two other prone victims. "Or anyone, for that matter. Let's help them to their room." We quickly got up and dragged Lina's friends up the stairs, following Amelia.
In the Slayer's room we finally got a chance to talk to Amelia. Interestingly, she wasn't fazed by our resemblence to Lina or herself. "Wow! You two are Lina and I's biggest fans? And the only people I thought were after us were angry bandits, townspeople and my older sister!"
"Yeah!" I said, wearing a mask of false cheerfulness. "There's a whole town of people after us too!"
"Wow!" Amelia jumped onto a chair and assumed a suitably dramatic pose. "Did you exchange brave words of how you fought for justice and smite your foes?"
"Yeah, sort of." I said, thinking of the Senshi. "Mostly they're after us for things we didn't do (yet) and stuff.. you know what it's like."
"Yeah! Usually they're after us... well, usually they're after Miss Lina for blowing up something, or setting things on fire, or causing a famine, or... er.. come to think of it, why haven't I shown Miss Lina the power of Justice!" Amelia stood over the still-comatose Lina Inverse and dramatically pointed at her. "Miss Lina! For your repeated crimes against justice, I demand redress! You will -OW!" Amelia said, having been slapped.
"I save the world on a monthly basis. Cut me some slack." Lina said, shaking her hand. She then noticed me. "ARRGH! It's a clone!"
Annoyed, I kicked a convenient pail of water on Lina. "Who's a clone?"
"GAH! What did you do THAT for?" Lina fumed.
"Somehow that sounds familiar." Hoataru whispered giggling.
"Don't mock the mazoku." I whispered back, wagging my finger. Lina grabbed it and pulled me over hard.
"I'm waiting for an apology. You can provide it promptly or posthumously." she said, showing the fireball in her other hand. Fortunately, I remembered how I was supposed to be acting before I told her where she could stick that fireball. My face went from annoyed to starstruck in a flash.
"It's LINA INVERSE!" I said, putting my hands together and batting my eyes: kawaii factor 4. Hotaru matched my rapt expression and cuteness-overload as fast as she could. "I'd never think I would have gotten to meet you! I mean, you're always on these great quests to save the world and everything! Aren't you the most talented and beautiful sorceress in the whole world?" I continued, laying it on thick.
"Yeah! I heard you killed a piece of Shabranigdo! And that you killed Phibrizzo, the Hellmaster!" I shot Hotaru a dirty look for a second. "And you can call upon the power of the Golden Lord of Nightmares!" Lina beamed with pride, a huge smile lighting up her face.
"Yeah, that's me all right." she said, ego continuing to inflate. She then looked at me for a second. "Oh, apology accepted." she said offhandedly. She then sat down on the edge of the bed,. Gourry and Zelgadis, who had been wakened by all the noise, flanked her. "we're always happy to talk to fans of.. oh, Amelia, grow up." Said princess had been sniffling and giving Lina dirty stares after she got slapped.
"You hit me, Miss Lina!" Amelia complained. I cringed for a second, noticing Hotaru doing the same. Now that we were actually paying attention to it, we could feel the anger rolling off of the young princess. Except it was still tinged with that nauseating sweetness. At least a spoonful of anger made the sugar go down easier.
"Stuff it, Amelia." Lina turned back to us, a happy smile adorning her face. "So, what brings you to this corner of the world?"
"We're on a quest for a legendary sword!" I exclaimed. Hotaru gave me a fishy look out of the corner of her eye, as if wondering if I had lost my mind by telling them the truth. I had to have a talk with that girl - the truth is always the greatest lie of them all, since it can't be disproven. "It's.. ooooh, the Sword of Light!" I bounced over to Gourry. "Can I see? Can I see?"
Gourry, the quintessential dumb swordsman, scratched his head. "No, miss, heh, I don't let redheaded sorceresses get their hands on my sword. So, um, no." I sighed.
"Come on, Gourry, it's not like they can just walk out of here or something!" Lina said. "They can look at it." Gourry held his sword protectively. I sighed. He was so stupid, he'd have to be smarter to be able to be fooled here. Well, there was always the Umi-Sen-Ken. I shook my head when I noticed Lina returning her attention to me. "Hey, what's your name, anyhow?" I opened my mouth, then remembered my alias.
"I'm Ranko. My family lived out in the Desert of Destruction." Hotaru and I had made our plans for where we would be from. Nothing that could be easily disproven. Heck, I'd even altered my appearance to include a tan. "I got curious about the outside world and left. I ran into Sharra here in southern Elmekia."
"Elmekia! Wow! Gourry's from there! Hey, what's your last name - maybe Gourry's heard of them before." Lina asked, turning to Hotaru.
Sweating, Hotaru answered with the first thing that leapt to mind. "Er... I'm Sherra Saturn!" she said enthusiatically, trying to cover her nervousness. I rolled my eyes. What a lame name. At least there's no planet named Saturn here.
"Gourry, you remember any Saturns back in Elmekia?" Lina asked Gourry.
Gourry scratched his head. "Um.. no?" Lina sighed in resignation.
"Stupid Jellyfish brains... I should have expected that." Lina turned back to us, having dropped the swordsman from her thoughts. I could now see why L-sama took such an interest in this human. She burned bright and with a storm of chaos in her soul. She jumped from one thing to the other, yet still remained focused. A paradox L-sama would treasure. "Do you guys need any help with your quest? It's been pretty boring around here." I had overheard that there were three separate forest fires started by stray fireball barrages, an evil wizard waylaying travelers had been killed, and a small crossroads villiage was currently a lake after being ground zero for a Dragon Slave. All in one week. Boring indeed.
"Not really. I mean, meeting you guys is a bonus, but we want to do this one on our own." I could see that wasn't enough to deter Lina, so I continued. "My magic is strong enough. Think about the Desert of Destruction and the kind of magic you'd need just to survive there. My father and his friends are powerful mages, and I'm continuing in the family tradition."
"OK, if you say so." Lina said, still not sounding convinced but willing to let it go for now. "Nice meeting you two." With that we left the still trashed inn and began hiking north.
"Aren't you going to take the sword from them?" Hotaru asked as we headed north. I looked at her incredulously.
"Are you nuts? That girl nuked a piece of Shabranigdo, destroyed Rezo the Red Priest - twice, flattens cities for fun and profit and most recently channeled the spirit of L-sama herself to kill Hellmaster Phibrizzo. I am *not* mixing it up with her if I can make the choice." I assumed a more neutral tone. "Look, your friends are a matter of circumstance, your enemies, however, are yours to choose. We don't want her as an enemy. Our current crop of people out for our blood is problem enough, even if they can't actually hurt us. Our strategy must be to keep problems seperated so we can tackle them one at a time."
Hotaru digested this, then asked another question after a little while. "Then what is our goal?" I opened my mouth, then closed it.
What WAS my goal? Power was nice and all, and it would ensure that I'd never be bossed around like I had for so long. I wouldn't be helpless in the face of society with my power. But once I was free, what would I do then?
The solution seemed pretty obvious, put that way. The Senshi, from all that Hotaru had told me and that I had read in Phibrizzo's books, were hellbent on resurrecting some ancient monarchy. They'd be after their so called 'good' ideals, but at what cost to freedom? Same with the Amazons, always wanting to enforce their repression on others, and the Musk...
"We're going to crush everyone. We're going to level the playing field. We'll smash the world and spread anarchy. Let people do what they want. Absolute freedom. It's what L-sama would want." I said. "It's our obligation to spread chaos and disorder. I can think of no better way to do this. No one will ever step on us again."
Hotaru nodded. "There will be a lot of killing. A lot of death... a lot of destruction. People rely on society for a lot of things. What we'll do is like yanking the bottom floor off of a skyscraper." A ghostly smile crossed her face and sent a shiver up my spine. Even now I still shied from the idea of widespread strife, but it struck a chord in her. No wonder she was the Sneshi of Destruction. "First we'll have to bring the Senshi to heel."
"We could present evidence of their plans to the Diet." I mulled, "and let them do our dirty work for us. They won't like the idea of some cheerleaders with magic taking over the world, especially given the proof of their power." I smiled.
"You want to offer the government a counterbalancing force of magic?" Hotaru asked, smiling.
"Heck no! I plan to offer a counterbalancing force of magic. I'll find the dissatisfied, the angry, the ambitious. Those will be our troops. I just want the government to fight the Senshi. After everything is done, we'll be in charge by default, by virtue of our power." I smiled. I had successfully identified my opponent's weaknesses and successfully exploited them outside of battle again. I was getting better at this.
"Speaking of the ambitious, what about Nabiki?" Hotaru asked. I blinked. "Forgot about her, didn't you?" she said, laughing.
"Yes, I did. Should we check in on her? She should be fine. It's only been one day, and it's getting dark. She should last at least a few days, anyhow."
"We should. I'm hungry." Hotaru replied.
"Oh, alright. It should be good for a meal. Let's go."
Now, I'm making an announcement. After the first arc of Ranmazoku is over, I'm switching off of the first-person perspective, because too much is going on with Ranma. I'm also going to devote more time to Garden Of Ranma, which is currently on the back burner, and start another fic or two also as 'pilots' to see if anyone's interested or not. So Ranmazoku will be coming out slower. Though fear not, for I shall probably speed up again, I think. Right? ::looks at schedule:: Yeah, for a while. I really need to get away from this stuff that's eating all my time up. I mean, apart from papers and studying. There's not much I can do about that. Oh, and work too.
If Hotaru's character is off here, remember she's just been turned into a mazoku, is actually strong now and not easily winded and sickly, is slightly older looking, and has had her Silver Millenium memories returned. And no, she doesn't look back with much fondness; Saturn was shunned then too.