This is something a little different from the other 
crossovers you've no doubt seen. I've tried to catch the spirit 
of both worlds without making it too much like one or the other. 
Despite the names shared by these characters with their 
originals, the characters may not necessarily act the way their 
namesakes would. Keep it in mind. I've tried to make it a bit 
more mature, but still keeping a bit of absurdity to keep things 
interesting. Also keep in mind that there are quite a number of 
cameos from various sources. Spot them all and win a prize! (Not 
cash, sorry...) Please send C&C and any suggestions on the story 
to [email protected].  

	Standard fanfic disclaimer averring that all characters, 
situations,  places and events with even a vague resemblance to 
the work of Rumiko Takahashi, Fujishima Kosuke's, CLAMP, whoever 
did Koko  wa  Greenwood or any one of a number of works, probably 
was borrowed in  the  first place. Apologies to all. Rights are 
to whoever owns them. Don't bother to sue, though. I'm broke.

PART V: Of Baneful Food and Loving Thoughts.

	Ranma never was much of an early riser when he could get 
away with it. Fortunately for him Akane was. The three of them 
had stayed up late the night before, mostly just getting settled 
in and discussing plans about what to do with poor Ryoga and 
Ukyou... not much was resolved of course, especially after Ranko 
turned Ranma into a girl and the entire discussion degenerated 
into another shouting match...
	Akane opened the door to Ranma's bedroom and tsked to 
herself at its state. Admittedly, between the three of them, 
Ranma had the most in the way of personal belongings and they did 
only just move in the day before, it was still no excuse for the 
mess she saw. It took her a moment to pick her way through the 
scattered clothes (both clean and dirty), training gear, and 
textbooks (a good many of which had yet to be opened she noted 
with some amusement).
	She paused a moment standing over his futon and smiled down 
at Ranma's sleeping form. He only wore boxer shorts and a tanktop 
to bed, and much as it embarrassed her, she did like it when he 
wore that around the house. I mean its not really as if he's got 
anything to hide from me, she thought with a giggle, I've seen 
him in less...
	She knelt next to him and put a hand on his shoulder, 
giving him a slight shake, "It's Monday morning, Ranma. Wake up."
	Ranma turned over in his sleep murmuring vaguely, "I... 
take... to be my lawfully wedded..."
	Akane gave a sigh of exasperation and shook him more 
vigorously, "C'mon, hurry up, I've got breakfast ready..." her 
brow furrowed for a moment as she caught what he was muttering in 
his sleep. "A wedding? He's dreaming about a wedding?" she 
thought slightly surprised.
	She was even more surprised as Ranma suddenly reached up 
and pulled her to him...
	Ranma was indeed dreaming of a wedding... he hadn't gotten 
a very clear image of who the bride was, just that someone was 
rushing them through the ceremony because something bad was 
coming... but the priest, a man with a mustache and long hair,  
had just said you man now kiss the bride and that's what he 
intended to do. He reached for the bride and lifted her veil 
catching only the briefest glimpse of woman's eyes as he drew her 
close... whereupon she suddenly smashed him on the head with a 
large and very familiar looking mallet...
	That was the sort of thing which would shock anyone to full 
consciousness. Ranma shook his head a few times to clear it as he 
looked up at a very flustered and angry Akane. She held her huge 
hammer in both hands and glowered at Ranma, a slight aura of 
energy was beginning to play around her body.
	"What did you do that for?!" asked Ranma blearily. He was 
not at his best during the mornings. Especially not until he'd 
had breakfast...
	"And what may I ask were you trying to do?!" she asked in a 
tight angry voice.
	"I wasn't trying to do anything! I was just sleeping here!" 
retorted Ranma, picking himself up off the futon.
	"You tried to take advantage of me, you lech!" shouted 
Akane, "Everything they said about you was true, wasn't it!?!"
	"Tried to take advantage of you!? Why the heck would I want 
to do that, you stupid tomboy?!"
	"You were pretending to be asleep so you could grab me and 
try to kiss me!" Akane shot back, her face burning out of 
embarrassment and anger.
	"I did not!" Ranma replied, shocked.
	"Did so!"
	"Would you two keep it down, I'm still trying to get some 
sleep here..." said a rather dishevelled looking 	Ranko from 
the door, "I swear this is so juvenile, I could hear you two 
arguing all the way on the other side of the temple."
	Ranma and Akane turned on Ranko at the same time, "Stay out 
of this!"
	Ranma, of course, paused momentarily on seeing Ranko. She 
was wearing a very sheer nightgown which left so little to the 
imagination, she may as well have been naked. Ranko paused a 
moment to stretch and Ranma's eyes couldn't help but follow as 
some parts went up... and others went that way... Akane got a 
murderous look in her eyes as she tightened her grip on her 
hammer.
	"Ranko. Get out! This is a private conversation!" said 
Akane, furious.
	Ranma realized that he was staring and somehow, quite 
possibly by sheer willpower, he was able to tear his gaze from 
Ranko. He did his best to appreciate the view outside his window, 
which while less interesting than the one at his door, was 
considerably less dangerous.
	Ranko raised an eyebrow and quietly backed out, closing the 
door behind her. She decided that if they wanted to spend the 
whole morning arguing this was good too. This was their first 
major argument in a week... with luck this would be the one that 
broke them up. At the very least if they kept this up, she'd have 
dibs on the bathroom...

	Ranko came into the dining room to find Akane setting the 
plates on the table. There was something very odd in the room 
which Ranko felt immediately, but she couldn't quite figure out 
what was wrong precisely... a curious scent in the air perhaps...
	It didn't take a goddess to see that Akane was quite upset 
and was largely slamming the dishes onto the table, causing their 
contents to jump or every so often spill. The fact that most of 
the dishes were shatter proof could've been taken as either luck 
or foresight on the part of  Ranma for buying them.
	Akane glowered at Ranko, "Don't you have any shame? Put 
something on!"
	Ranko glanced down at the short terrycloth robe which was 
all she was wearing and struck a pose, "What do I have to be 
ashamed about Hammer girl? I've got a great figure," she made a 
dismissive gesture in Akane's direction, "But what would you know 
about that? You haven't got one..."
	Akane glanced involuntarily down at her own clothes. She 
was wearing an old pair of Ukyou's slacks and one of Ranma's 
Chinese shirts, "Oh, shut up."
	Ranko decided to test the waters, "If you keep wearing 
masculine clothes like that, how is Ranma supposed to find you 
sexy?"
	Akane muttered under her breath, "What do I care whether or 
not that stupid jerk thinks I'm sexy..." Not that it stopped him 
from grabbing me like that, she added mentally. 
	Ranko smiled lazily as she seated herself, "What did he do 
this time, Akane?"
	Akane glared at Ranko, "None of your business, Ranko!"
	Ranko raised an eyebrow, "My aren't we feeling bright and 
chipper this morning, hammer girl... what did your lovey-poo do 
this time?"
	"He is not my lovey-poo!" Akane replied angrily, rather 
disgusted at the term...
	"Your darling fiance, then?" asked Ranko innocently.
	"Not that either, he's just a stupid mortal jerk!"
	Ranko smiled, "Hey, I knew you'd see it my way. Are we 
ready to leave yet?"
	Akane's face clouded over in surprise, "Leave? What do you 
mean leave?"
	"He's just an idiot right? So just tell the jerk off, I 
figure he's pissed at you too, he'll let you leave and bang! 
We'll be back in Heaven in time for one of your sister's famous 
dinners!" Ranko replied brightly.
	"Um... I don't know, Ranko..." Akane said uncertainly, the 
thought of actually leaving Ranma for good shocked her out of her 
angry mood, "I mean... it's not that bad...  um... I mean, it's 
not like he tried to grab me or something..." or he did, but I'm 
not telling you that, Akane added silently.
	Ranko's perfect brow furrowed, "What DID he do?"
	I don't understand what I'm so upset about, thought Akane 
as she calmed down some more. She gave Ranko an even stare, "I 
told you. None of your business."
	Akane added to herself, I mean its not like he did 
something really bad... I was kind of hoping he'd do that... she 
sighed, I just wish he hadn't surprised me like that, though...
	Ranko finally realized what had been bothering since she'd 
entered the dining room. She gave another tentative sniff and 
glanced at what Akane was setting on the table. She asked Akane 
tentatively, "Akane... did you... cook?"
	Akane replied happily, "Yes. I thought Ranma might like a 
home cooked meal for a change."
	Ranko nodded slowly as she watched some of the spilled food 
slowly eat through the table, "Yes. He probably would at that..." 
No telling what he'll change into if he eats that, she thought 
with a suppressed giggle. 
	"Give me a moment," said Ranko as she stood up suddenly. 
She returned to the table a few moments later with a cup of 
hastily prepared instant ramen. 
	Akane looked at Ranko strangely, "What's that for? I made 
plenty for all of us."
	Ranko smiled sweetly at Akane, "Oh, none for me thanks. 
Besides... you know Ranma's appetite. You made it for him didn't 
you? I'll let him enjoy it."
	"Okay," Akane replied doubtfully.
	Ranma arrived at the table still toweling his hair. He was 
wearing another tanktop and the loose Chinese pants he preferred. 
He was still somewhat grumpy but his expression softened as he 
noticed Akane now seemed to be more cheerful.
	"Um... Akane... about earlier..." Ranma started 
tentatively.
	Akane cut him off, "Oh, don't worry about it. I shouldn't 
have gotten so upset, it probably was a misunderstanding..."
	"Um... its sort of difficult to have a misunderstanding 
about something like..."
	Akane smiled pleasantly, "Let's just forget it happened, 
okay?"
	"Er... Yeah. Okay. I guess..." he replied relaxing 
somewhat, but still quite uncertain as to what DID happen.
	Ranko raised an eyebrow but kept quiet and let the two 
talk.
	He glanced down at the table and got a surprised look on 
his face, "Akane? What's all this?"
	"Akane made breakfast for you. All by herself. Wasn't that 
sweet of her?" Ranko said in her silky voice.
	Ranma's face brightened, "Really, Akane?" 
	Akane smiled back at Ranma, "Yeah. Eating nothing but cup 
ramen isn't good for you."
	"Thanks for the concern..." but his smile faltered as he 
got a second look at the offerings. None of the dishes looked 
particularly presentable. Or palatable for that matter. Or even 
edible in some cases...
	Akane failed to notice his expression as she brought the 
rice cooker closer to the table, "I haven't cooked for anyone in 
a while, so I hope you like it."
	"Oh... okay," said Ranma with a slight sinking sensation. 
The last time he'd eaten anything that looked even remotely like 
this was when one of his cullinarily challenged fans made him 
lunch... he ended up staying in the hospital for a month. Somehow 
Akane's cooking seemed to promise even worse than that. The food 
sat in its bowl radiating a certain low grade menace... If it was 
possible for a meal to glower at someone, this meal was doing 
just that.
	Ranma glanced at Ranko, "Why are you eating instant ramen? 
Don't you want any?"
	Ranko favored Ranma with a silky smile, "Oh, but your dear, 
dear Akane made this for you Ranma. It wouldn't be right if I ate 
any of it."
	Akane rolled her eyes, "Ranma, don't listen to her. She's 
in another of her moods."
	Ranma sat down apprehensively, but hunger overcame 
suspicion as he spooned what could only be loosely be identified 
as 'chunks' of food over his rice. 
	"It smells... interesting, Akane-chan," said Ranma eyeing 
the breakfast.
	"Eat up, there's plenty," Akane said offering a few pieces 
of what might have been an omelet but only Kami-sama knew for 
sure.
	Ranma couldn't help but smile at Akane's happy expression, 
"Well... you made it Akane-chan, I'm sure it'll be good."
	Ranko avoided sniggering at him only by slurping up a few 
more noodles.
	Akane handed Ranma a pair of chopsticks and she 
apprehensively watched as Ranma ate  her cooking. He bit through 
the chopsticks at his first mouthful. Akane blinked at him as his 
face turned pale... then slightly green... then purple... before 
he managed to make a convulsive swallow, chopsticks bits and all.
	Ranma stood up suddenly and said in a strained voice, "That 
was great, Akane. I've got to get going... I might be late 
getting to class!" before he dashed off.
	Akane called after him, "But you're classes won't be for 
another hour!"
	Ranko was fighting to keep from laughing as she said, 
"Incidentally, Akane... do you ever taste your own cooking?"
	"No. Why?" Akane replied, slightly confused, "Should I?"
	Ranko shook her head, and noted sagely, "No... true 
gourmets never taste their own dishes. You'd better save it, 
though, he might want some for tonight. Or better yet," Ranko 
added brightly, as a thought occurred to her, "Make him a proper 
feast! To apologize for fighting with him. Peace offering and all 
that."
	Akane looked suspiciously at her, "Do you think that would 
work?"
	Ranko nodded, "It'll be perfect! There's an old saying that 
the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, so show him your 
love by making him a good meal!"
	Akane blushed slightly, "Ranko!"
	"Trust me! I'm the Goddess of Affection! I know these 
things! It's guaranteed to work!"
	Akane looked at Ranko suspiciously, "Why are you so helpful 
all of a sudden?"
	Ranko said in tones laden with mock tragedy, "Woe is me, 
that my own family chooses to suspect my good intentions!"
	"That's because you don't have any good intentions, Ranko." 
Akane replied, exasperated.
	Ranko sighed, "Aw, Akane... didn't it occur to you that I 
might be getting used to this place? Besides... when you guys 
fight, it's a little tough for me to get any sleep."
	"Okay..." Akane conceded, but still suspicious.
	"I think I might actually be warming up a little to 
Saotome..." said Ranko sweetly.
	"I suppose it's possible... but I still suspect something's 
up," she shot Ranko a suspicious look, "'...warming up to him...' 
?!"
	"Not like that, Hammer girl! Why are you so jealous all the 
time?"
	"I am not jealous!"
	"So you say, but with a cutie like Ranma I can't really say 
I'm surprised... I mean with his reputation with women and 
all..."
	"You know he's not like that, Ranko!"
	"Really?" Ranko asked in a bemused tone as Akane stormed 
off to put the largely untouched breakfast away.
	Ranko laughed lightly before turning back to her breakfast, 
doing her best to hide her amusement. Akane's cooking was 
notorious throughout Heaven. Even the most powerful and hungry 
First rank deities politely declined any offers of food made by 
Akane Tendo. Ranko knew this and was not touching any food Akane 
had a hand in preparing with anything short of a ten foot pole. 
Even then, her food might even try to eat the pole. 
	Ranko wondered idly if Ranma was okay... she knew it was 
cruel... perhaps even utterly heartless and needlessly sadistic 
to force the mortal idiot to eat even more of Akane's cooking 
after he'd so narrowly managed to avoid her attempt at 
breakfast... but all is fair in love and war, Saotome... And this 
was war. If it takes something as loathsome as Akane's cooking to 
be rid of you and on my way home, then so be it!

	Outside, Ranma managed to spit out most of the noxious mess 
that he'd swallowed before he rinsed his mouth out with some 
water. His eyes were still watering and it was almost impossible 
to get the hideous taste out of his mouth.
	"No doubt about it," he muttered to himself as he staggered 
to the van, "She's still mad at me... Otherwise she wouldn't try 
to poison me like that..."

	"So where are you going, Akane?" Ranko asked as she watched 
her cousin put on one of Ranma's coats.
	"I've got some shopping to do. I need some things for 
dinner tonight," Akane replied.
	Ranko smiled, "You're taking my advice?"
	"Yeah," Akane smiled back without realizing, "Once in a 
while, even you come up with a good idea. I'm sure a nice home 
cooked dinner will be just the thing to make up for this 
morning's argument."
	"It'll be fabulous, trust me. He's going to love you for 
it!" Ranko replied enthusiastically.
	Akane shifted uneasily at Ranko's pleasant tone,  "Are you 
feeling alright, Ranko? Its not normal or you to be so nice."
	Ranko replied with a mysterious grin in  Akane's direction, 
noting to herself, I can afford to be nice. Once Saotome gets a 
taste of that noxious concoction she'll be trying to pass off as 
dinner, we'll be out of here so fast his head's going to spin.
	"Take care then. There's all sorts of weirdoes out there, 
you know," said Ranko.
	Akane left muttering, "Well, you would know."
	The market was a comfortable walking distance from the 
temple and Akane thought she could use the walk to clear her 
mind. She silently berated herself for hitting Ranma when she 
did... and reflected that he was probably still upset at her.
	She sighed. Her temper had gotten the best of her again. 
You shouldn't surprise a person like that. If Ranma had tried to 
kiss her at another time, she mused, she probably would have let 
him. But first thing in the morning and so suddenly at that... 
well he was dreaming, she conceded. About a wedding no less, she 
blushed.
	Her thoughts were interrupted by a voice, "Hey... Akane! 
Akane!"
	Akane whirled around and saw a handsome man approaching 
her, waving enthusiastically. She blinked and realized that it 
was actually Ukyou, "Oh. Hi, Ukyou," she said.
	Ukyou smiled as she caught up with Akane, "You were really 
out of it, sugar. I've been calling you for the past couple of 
minutes."
	"Oh, sorry. I was just... thinking," Akane replied.
	Ukyou nodded and gave her a knowing smile, "About Ranchan?"
	Akane blushed, "No... of course not!" she replied with 
considerably more force than she'd intended, "Okay. Maybe."
	"Thought so..." Ukyou replied smugly, "Where are you 
headed?"
	"The market. I have some shopping to do," Akane replied.
	"No kidding," Ukyou said, "Me too. I need to get some more 
soba noodles and vegetables for the restaurant and there's this 
really good place nearby."
	Ukyou noticed Akane's distracted expression and wondered 
what was wrong... it probably did have something to do with 
Ranma, she thought, may as well find out...
	"Do you want some company?" Ukyou asked brightly.
	Akane considered this for a minute... Ukyou was probably 
the best person to talk to about this. After all, she was Ranma's 
best friend and knew him best. Akane smiled, "Sure, why not?"

	Ranma walked into the Martial Arts Varsity Clubhouse for 
practice that afternoon. Mousse was there and so was Shampoo, but 
that was to be expected. She rarely left his side, still being 
rather uncomfortable in this new setting, and Mousse was very 
protective of his "little sister". Ryoga  was there as well, 
helping to train one of the new recruits. Most of the other 
members of the Varsity were late, but this was the usual state of 
affairs. The coach ran a fairly loose ship.
	Ranma was in a rather thoughtful mood. He was worried that 
Akane was still mad at him for some reason. She claimed that he'd 
kissed her... which he didn't! He was sure! It's not like he was 
likely to forget something like that... This was Akane, for 
goodness' sake! That was definitely not something he'd forget 
about... He admitted to himself that he'd been wanting to kiss 
her for weeks now... the chance just never quite came up. That 
and the fact that when a chance to do so did come up, he'd lose 
his nerve... It was almost laughable. The two of them had been 
living quite closely for the past month and he hadn't even been 
able to manage a peck on the cheek. 
	Unfortunately, he mused, it also looked like she wasn't too 
eager for him to do anything of the sort. He was absolutely 
certain that he hadn't kissed her. Or tried to kiss her. Or laid 
in wait for her to come to him unsuspecting so he could pounce on 
her. Well... he was mostly certain... he could've been dreaming, 
he conceded, but he couldn't quite remember what he was dreaming 
about.
	And then there was the other thing that was really worrying 
him... that the only reason she was here at all was because of 
that stupid wish. He wasn't sure if she liked him or not. One 
minute she was very sweet and understanding... the next she'd be 
a raving lunatic. He was half wishing that he'd never made the 
wish in the first place, but stopped that train of thought... 
Because he did want Akane to be around. Even if she didn't really 
like him. But another thought occurred to him as he realized that 
maybe... just maybe... Akane was just as unhappy as Ranko was at 
being stuck on Earth with him... she was probably just better at 
hiding it from him. That thought brought him no comfort at all... 
he considered actually allowing the contracts to be broken... At 
the very least they'd be free to go back home, and he wouldn't 
have to worry about Ranko trying to transform him ever again... 
but he didn't want her to leave. If she'd only just tell him what 
she really wanted... he didn't know what that was... if he knew, 
life would be so much simpler for all of them...
	Not realizing what he was doing, Ranma suddenly clenched 
his hand into a fist and lashed out blindly, shouting, "What the 
heck does she really want!?!"
	He was rather surprised as he felt something solid connect 
with the end of his fist. Mousse who was having a very 
interesting, if one sided, conversation with the coat rack (which 
he thought was Shampoo), crumpled to the ground saying, "Whadjou 
do that for?"
	"Um... Sorry about that Mousse..." said Ranma as he helped 
the Chinese martial artist up. Mousse was somewhat stunned and 
he'd lost his glasses again, but was otherwise fine.
	Ryoga paused his sparring session his pink-haired opponent 
and asked Ranma in jokingly, "Trouble in paradise, Saotome?"
	"Don't get started Ryoga," Ranma muttered under his breath. 
	Ryoga looked at him with some surprise and wisely decided 
to keep his mouth shut.
	"I heard you moved out of Ucchan's last week." Ryoga said 
after a meaningful pause.
	Ranma nodded absently and said, "Yeah. You'll be happy to 
learn that the girls and I have our own place out in the suburbs 
now..."
	Mousse muttered, "How do you do it, Saotome? What bizarre 
power do you have over women?"
	Shampoo hit Mousse lightly on the arm, "Mousse-sempai just 
want to know so he can do it too!"
	Ranma rolled his eyes, and replied sharply, "It's not my 
fault these things just happen to me, okay?! I'm stuck with a 
stupid tomboy and her stupider cousin, and its not my fault!"
	"Whatever," Ryoga replied awkwardly, before returning to 
his sparring session.
	Ranma blushed and sought for something to change the 
conversation with, "Oh yeah, I nearly forgot. I still have some 
stuff at the dorm, right? You guys said you'd send it to me once 
I had an address to send it to."
	Mousse, traded a myopic glance with Ryoga, "Erhm... stuff, 
Saotome?"
	Ranma got a suspicious look in his eyes, "Yeah. My hot 
plate is still at the dorm. Along with my TV, my VCR, the little 
fridge, my magazines, most of my clothes and about a dozen 
videos... You know. My stuff."
	Ryoga smiled sheepishly, "Oh... Yeah. That stuff..."
	"What did you guys do with it?!" Ranma asked heatedly. The 
day had already begun badly... he did not need this aggravation.
	Mousse did his best to try and calm Ranma down, "There's no 
need to take that tone of voice with us Saotome... we're all 
friends here..."
	"I'll tell you we're still friends when I find out what you 
did to my stuff!" Ranma roared.
	Shampoo put her hands on her hips and finally said, "Why 
you no tell, Saotome-sempai what you do? Shampoo thought you say 
is okay with Saotome-sempai!"
	Ranma looked at Shampoo, "What? What did these two do this 
time?"
	"They put Saotome-sempai's things for auction so Martial 
Arts Varsity Clubhouse have new windows," she gestured broadly, 
"See? Is nice windows. They say you no mind. You no mind, 
Saotome-sempai, yes?"
	Shampoo could see the expression on Ranma's face and the 
faint reddish nimbus of energy surrounding him. She considered 
these and quickly got out of his way, "Because if Saotome-sempai 
mind... Shampoo just want you to know Mousse no have anything to 
do with it. It all Hibiki-sempai fault..."
	Ryoga made a small choked sound, "Sha- Shampoo!"
	"Saotome... you did break the windows  kicking Kuno out the 
last time..." Mousse said lamely.
	Ranma cracked his knuckles and walked purposefully towards 
Ryoga and Mousse, "Mind... why would I mind..?"
	Ryoga backed up slowly, laughing nervously, "So you don't 
mind?"
	His laugh was cut off abruptly as the front of his shirt 
and Mousse's were suddenly grabbed and lifted by a furious Ranma, 
"This has been a really, really rotten day. Before it ends I 
expect you two jerks to have all of my stuff... and I do mean all 
of it, in front of my new home by tonight or I'm going to 
redecorate both your faces, is that clear?!!!"
	"Perfectly," said the surprised Ryoga.
	"Um... Absolutely, Saotome," replied Mousse in a strangled 
tone.
	The furious Ranma dropped the two on the training mat and 
stormed off without another word.
	"Saotome-sempai! What about practice?" Shampoo called after 
Ranma, but he ignored her.
	"He didn't take that as well as I thought he would," 
murmured Ryoga as he picked himself up. And why was he glowing 
like that?  He added silently.
	Mousse shook his head slightly dazed, "How are we going to 
get all of Saotome's belongings back? I don't even remember who 
we sold most of it to..."
	"No worry, Mousse-sempai. Shampoo keep all receipts."
	"We still can't get it back even if we do find the new 
owners!" moaned Ryoga, "The Martial Arts Varsity coffers aren't 
exactly bursting..."
	"Um... Ryoga," Mousse said, "Do you know where Saotome's 
new address is?"
	"Er... no," after a pause Ryoga added, "But something tells 
me we'd better find out real quick."
	"I agree," Mousse replied addressing a point about three 
inches to the left of Ryouga's ear, "I've never seen him that mad 
before," 
	Ryoga murmured, "Yeah. Not even after that time we rented 
him out to the Nekomi Fashion Club to be their model..."
	Shampoo helped Mousse up and meekly suggested, "Maybe he 
and Akane have fight?"
	Ryoga and Mousse looked at one another, or actually Ryoga 
looked at Mousse and Mousse looked in his general direction, , 
"You don't suppose..." started Mousse.
	"...Akane left him?" Ryoga said finishing the thought.
	As is standard in these matters, within moments rumor and 
speculation began to make the rounds of the campus...

	Ranma finally got home. Several dozen guys had pestered him 
about Akane, as he was leaving... traffic was horrible... and to 
top it off, he realized belatedly that he'd left his bag back at 
the Clubhouse. 
	"I'm home," he called out as he shut the front door and 
prepared himself. A slender arm suddenly lashed out and attempted 
to strike him on the chest. Ranma easily jumped straight up, 
jumping off the doorway, and landed with a flip behind Ranko.
	Ranko snapped her fingers and remarked casually, "Missed."
	"Don't get started, Ranko. I'm not in the mood." Ranma 
snapped.
	Ranko remarked wryly, "Don't worry, Saotome. Your darling 
fiance just cooked you up a wonderful dinner... I'm sure that 
should cheer you up."
	Ranma brightened up, "She did?" but his eyes narrowed 
again, "You know... now that I think about it... you didn't 
happen to have anything to do with breakfast did you? I mean it 
certainly tasted like something you'd do..."
	The red headed goddess merely smiled innocently at him (no 
mean feat) and replied, "Saotome, you know perfectly well I don't 
wake up that early..." 
	Ranma got a relieved look on his face. He was positive that 
she was probably lying to him again. So it was Ranko... no one 
could possibly cook that bad except intentionally, he thought. 
Ranko could positively feel the relief pouring from Saotome... 
she smirked to herself, Just wait until he tastes dinner...
	"You didn't touch dinner did you?" 
	Ranko gestured to herself and fluttered her lashes at him, 
"Moi? Akane wouldn't even let me in the kitchen. She said it was 
all a surprise for you..."
	She opened the door and stepped outside, "Oh, by the way, 
Saotome. Don't wait up," she smiled seductively at him, "I've got 
a date..."
	Ranma nervously waved her off, "Er... okay. Enjoy 
yourself."
	She turned and faced him a final time, "No, Ranma... you 
enjoy yourself," she walked to the gate laughing pleasantly at 
some joke only she understood...
	Ranma blinked nervously and thought to himself, Now what 
did she mean by that?
	A now familiar voice called to him from the kitchen, 
"Ranma? Is that you?"
	"Yeah, Akane-chan." 
	She stepped out of the kitchen wiping her hands absently on 
her apron as she took it off. She smiled at him and Ranma was 
momentarily stunned. The last time he'd seen Akane in a dress was 
when they'd first met. Truth to tell, that was more of a uniform 
to Akane than a real dress, but still. Add to that the fact that 
Ranma was too busy getting hammered to worry about what she was 
wearing...  Since then, based on their rather limited budget, 
Akane had mostly been wearing Ranma and Ukyou's old clothes... 
Ranko was another matter entirely and Ranma often suspected that 
she just conjured her clothes as necessary. 
	Akane was wearing a long powder blue skirt that reached a 
little past her knees and a white silk blouse that suited her 
perfectly. The part that had really surprised him was what she'd 
done to her hair. It was now quite short. Almost a pageboy cut. 
It looked absolutely great on her. Ranma's heart speeded up 
involuntarily...
	"Wha... wha... what did you do to your hair, Akane?!" he 
asked, dazed.
	She smiled as she deliberately brushed a stray strand from 
her face, "Do you like it?"
	Ranma gulped nervously, "Uh... it looks great."
	"Thanks. Dinner's almost ready. Why don't you go wait in 
the dining room?"
	"Um... yeah," he replied, not sure what else to say.
	He walked almost by autopilot into their dining area. He 
was still in shock. Akane always was cute... but now she looked 
positively devastating... he waited impatiently for her to come 
back. He definitely wanted to see her again to make sure he 
hadn't dreamed it...
	He sniffed curiously and realized that some truly wonderful 
scents were wafting in from the kitchen. He thought to himself, 
Wow... it smells great... it definitely must have been Ranko 
sabotaging Akane's breakfast... I wonder how she didn't notice. 
	Akane walked in cheerfully holding a smoking bowl, "It's 
your favorite, Ranma. Curry."
	"Wow. Thanks," Ranma replied happily, not knowing what else 
to say. He was having trouble tearing his eyes away from Akane 
and murmurred, "You look really great..."
	"Thanks," Akane blushed,
	"Well, eat up, Ranma." She urged him, watching him 
intently.
	"Sure!" he said transferring generous portions of rice and 
curry onto his plate. Ranma eagerly shoveled the food into his 
mouth before his eyes suddenly watered, his face turned red and 
his expression turned to one of horror...
	Akane face was a mask of concern as she asked, "What's 
wrong?"
	Saotome managed to squeak out, "Water... it's too hot..!"
	She sighed as she passed him a pitcher of water , the 
contents of which he gulped down hurriedly, steam rising slowly 
from his mouth, "Honestly, Ranma you could have waited for it to 
cool you know."
	Ranma breathed out the last of the steam as he finished the 
water, "Akane-chan that was definitely worth getting burned 
for..."
	He proceeded to eat more of the meal, this time at a more 
sedate pace to allow it to cool, "Best I've had in years..."
	Akane heaved a sigh of relief, "I was so worried. This is 
sort of an apology for this morning..."
	Ranma looked up from his meal and looked into Akane's eyes, 
"Akane..."
	"I'm sorry I hit you. You were asleep and didn't know what 
you were doing. And breakfast wasn't all that grea..."
	Ranma laughed lightly, cutting her off, "Don't worry about 
breakfast. I know about Ranko sabotaging it."
	Akane asked, puzzled, "Ranko..? What does Ranko have to do 
with anything?"
	"Well, its obvious," said Ranma, wiping his mouth on the 
table napkin, "If you compare that awful mess you served for 
breakfast and this great spread..."
	"'Awful mess'?" Akane asked furiously.
	"Yeah. I mean, food can't possibly taste that bad unless 
someone intentionally does it that way. I mean, no one cooks that 
bad... The cockroaches wouldn't touch that junk..." Ranma plunged 
on, heedless.
	Akane was glowing slightly and thunder was rolling in the 
distance. She reached under the table for the familiar handle of 
her hammer. She gripped it tightly as her erstwhile boyfriend 
continued on about the faults of breakfast. 
	"... and furthermore..." Ranma suddenly cut himself off 
when he realized Akane was already growling mildly and staring 
daggers at him, "Um... What's wrong Akane? There's no need to go 
chasing Ranko now... I mean we're finally having a nice quiet 
dinner... together," he added after a pause, "Why are you looking 
at me like that..?"
	Akane furiously reminded herself again and again must keep 
my temper in check... must stay calm... must stay calm... her 
aura guttered out eventually and she seemed to collapse a little. 
She sighed heavily, "Ranma. Ranko didn't have anything to do with 
breakfast I made it all myself."
	Ranma facefaulted and stared at the terrific curry he'd 
been demolishing, "Um... waitasecond... you cooked THAT..? and 
you cooked THIS?" his mind refused to grasp the concept, "Um... 
maybe you're just not a breakfast making type cook?" he tried.
	"It's okay. I know I'm not a very good cook. You don't have 
to lie..."
	"But this curry is great!" replied Ranma.
	"I had help," Akane replied reluctantly.
	"Oh."
	"I just wanted to be able to cook for you... You know... 
like Ukyou can. Like practically every other woman who's after 
you..."
	Ranma couldn't help but smile, "Thanks, Akane-chan... but 
it's okay. I mean, if you can't cook."
	"Ranma..."
	"So what if they can cook," he added softly, "I mean, I'd 
rather be with you than them..."
	They both blushed.
	There was an awkward pause for a moment before they spoke 
up at the same time.
	"Hey, why not have..."
	"Here, have some mo..."
	"You first," Akane said, now smiling.
	"Well, you may as well have some too, Akane-chan. You 
probably missed breakfast again. We can't spend all of our meals 
with you just watching me eat."
	Akane flushed, "I was not watching you eat, you egotistical 
jerk!"
	"Yes, you were!" Ranma shot back.
	"Why do I bother with you?" Akane asked without much anger.
	Ranma shrugged and smiled as he spooned some curry onto her 
plate, "Because you don't have a choice."
	"True," Akane conceded, taking the plate, "But you're still 
a perverted egotistical jerk who tries to grope goddesses in the 
morning."
	"I did not try to grope you!"
	"Did too!"
	"Did not!"
	Akane gave him a wicked grin and said suddenly, "Next time 
try it when I'm ready."
	Ranma blinked and blushed... she absolutely took his breath 
away when she smiled like that. He smiled back, "I just might."
	"Good," she said taking a mouthful of curry, "Hey, this is 
good..."
	Ranma nodded in agreement.
	"Stupid tomboy goddess with a hammer," Ranma said lightly, 
smiling.
	"Sex-changing lecher," she answered mildly.
	"As long as we have that clear," Ranma responded around a 
mouthful of curry.

	Ukyou watched the two of them from the kitchen and finally 
heaved a sigh of relief. The both of them were both so high 
spirited she was worried if it would ever work out between them. 
She had to admit... it did hurt a little to hear him say that 
he'd rather be with Akane than anyone else... even her... but she 
already knew he was in love with her. Even if the dumb jackass 
can't admit it to himself.
	Akane and Ukyou had spent the morning together. Which was 
plenty of fun, she had to admit. Akane was good company. When 
they'd finished with their groceries, Ukyou had finally managed 
to wheedle the entire story out of Akane. The girl was a hopeless 
romantic, Ukyou mused, but she had the right idea. Once she'd 
found out about Akane's planned dinner, she'd insisted that they 
go shopping and Akane make a quick visit to a parlor. She hadn't 
let her hair down in quite a while, literally. It had cost a 
bit... but Ukyou could certainly afford it. The restaurant was 
doing pretty well after all. And it wasn't like she had anything 
else to spend her money on, except the restaurant.
	She looked down at herself and smiled faintly. Akane had 
insisted that she get a dress too... it had been quite a few 
years since she'd worn one. Or a bra for that matter. She had to 
admit, though, it did look pretty good on her when she was trying 
it out back at the store. She laughed quietly to herself as she 
peeked out at the two lovebirds again. Akane was now feeding 
Ranma some curry from her plate and Ranma was doing the same from 
his... they looked so sweet together she mused, even as she felt 
the knife twist deeper into her heart.
	She shook her head at her best friend as she began cleaning 
up the mess she and Akane had made of the kitchen in an effort to 
distract herself. She was careful not to make any noise, as Akane 
didn't want Ranchan to know that she was there. Ukyou was amazed 
at Akane's utter lack of skill when it came to the culinary arts. 
The woman couldn't even boil water properly. It was incredible. 
It took the better part of the afternoon for Ukyou to help Akane 
whip a single meal into anything even remotely resembling 
something edible. Truth be told, that curry had started its life 
as an attempt at sukiyaki. Thank goodness for Ranchan's appetite, 
Ukyou added silently.
	A weary voice called out as someone burst through the back 
door, "Is this the Greenwood Dojo?"
	Ukyou recognized the voice instantly and rushed to meet the 
owner... it was Ryoga.
	She clubbed him over the head with a frying pan and said to 
him, "Quiet, you jerk!"
	Ryoga looked at her with surprise, "Ucchan? What are you 
doing here?"
	"ME? What are you doing here?!" she asked in a fierce 
whisper.
	"Isn't this the dojo?"
	"No, you moron! This is the temple where Ranma lives!"
	"Ranma lives in a temple?" Ryoga asked.
	She nodded.
	Ryoga's face darkened, "You're staying with Ranma again?! 
He just moved out of your restaurant and now you've moved in with 
him?! Is this why Akane left him?!"
	She whapped him over the head with the frying pan again, 
"No, you idiot! I'm trying to help Akane! And keep your voice 
down!"
	"Okay," he finally whispered back crossly , rubbing his 
head gingerly where she'd hit him.
	Something Ryoga said finally registered to Ukyou and she 
whirled on him suddenly, brandishing the frying pan in a 
threatening manner, "What do you mean Akane left Ranma?!" she 
asked in a raised voice.
	"I thought you said we had to keep quiet?" whispered Ryoga.
	She sighed as she dragged the eternally lost man with her 
to the kitchen, "Yeah, yeah... keep quiet... I am not going to 
let you ruin this for them."
	"Ruin what?!" Ryoga asked sharply, feeling as if he had 
just walked into the movie a few minutes late and no one would 
tell him what had happened.
	"Dinner. Now just shut up would you?"
	"Okay..."
	Ukyou fumed, "I swear, Ryoga... you ruin this I'll never 
forgive you."
	Ryoga blinked and replied, "Does that mean you forgive me 
already for the wedding?"
	She shot him a cold look which shut him up immediately, 
"No. You've got a lot you haven't been forgiven for."
	"Um... right," Ryoga muttered sheepishly. Ryoga glanced at 
Ukyou and tentatively said, "You look... very nice, Ucchan."
	Ukyou merely glared at him, "I have nothing to say to you."
	"But..."
	"Ryoga," she replied tightly, "The only reason I haven't 
kicked your sorry behind out of here is because you'd probably 
get lost again... probably end up breaking some other poor girl's 
heart."
	Ryoga had no response to that.
	She sighed and looked him directly in the face, Ranma and 
Akane momentarily forgotten. She was amazed at how difficult it 
was to stay angry at him. She noticed that he had that look on 
his face again... it was so pathetic and utterly adorable at the 
same time that she couldn't help it...
	"So you know about my bad sense of---"
	"Of course I know, but it still doesn't change the 
facts..."
	Desperate to keep her anger burning she asked him sharply, 
"How could you get lost to your own wedding?"
	"It was pretty easy..." Ryoga replied, rubbing the back of 
his head and blushing.
	 "It... was... pretty... easy?!" she mocked him angrily, 
raising her voice. She focused her rage again. She knew exactly 
why she hated Ryoga Hibiki...
	"Hey, quiet remember?" said Ryoga pleadingly.
	"Don't you 'quiet' me, you stupid pig! How dare you..?! Not 
only do you humiliate me, ruin my life, abandon me... you've got 
the nerve to stand there and tell me it was easy?!!"
	"I meant getting lost is easy for me! Don't you think it 
was tough for me too? Do you have any idea how many miles I 
trudged looking for you?!"
	"How many?" Ukyou heatedly dared him to tell her. 
	"I've got no idea either, but there were a lot!"
	Ukyou couldn't help it and burst out in giggles, her anger 
draining away from her with each fresh burst of laughter. Ryoga 
looked puzzled for a moment then joined her easy laughter. She 
tried to shush him, but was barely able to keep from laughing 
herself... by the time they'd both managed to regain their 
composure, Ukyou had tears in her eyes...
	"I knew there was reason why I fell in love with you..." 
she said, still giggling, not even realizing that she had said 
it.
	Ryoga's face suddenly turned serious again as he knelt in 
front of Ukyou, "Uk... Ukyou... will you marry me? This time I 
promise to do it right. I won't leave the dorm alone and I'll 
have someone bring me to the..."
	Ukyou sobered up immediately and faced Ryoga, surprise 
evident on her face. She said to him, "My God... you really mean 
that, don't you? We haven't seen each other for three years and 
you think just like that," she snapped her fingers, "Hey, wow, 
everything's fine..?"
	She crossed her arms across her chest and looked at him, 
not as cold now as before, in truth, almost sympathetically, 
"Wake up, Ryoga. I still haven't forgiven you for leaving me. 
Maybe I never will. We've both changed... I'm not that starry 
eyed school girl who got swept off her feet. Maybe I don't want 
to marry you anymore, did you think of that?"
	Ryoga gulped nervously, "Yeah... but... 
	 "The point is, Ryoga, we're different people now. I don't 
want to marry you. Give me enough time and plenty of good 
behavior on your part, and I might... I repeat might, start to 
think of you as a friend again... but I'm not making the same 
mistake twice. We are not getting married."
	Ryoga's face looked resolved as he picked himself up off 
his knees, "I can live with that... I guess... for now."
	Ukyou replied, in a sweet mocking tone, "What's that 
supposed to mean?"
	"I'll change your mind yet, Ucchan. Just you wait."
	Ukyou looked at him and said softly, "I don't think so."
	She turned away from Ryoga momentarily to glance at Ranma 
and Akane through the doorway. The pair were chatting amiably and 
didn't seem to have noticed anything... she smiled vaguely in 
their direction and felt a tear trace its way down her cheek. She 
didn't know if she was crying because she was lying to Ryoga... 
or she was crying for Ranma...
	She wiped the tear on the back of one hand and turned to 
look Ryoga straight in the eye, "Oh yeah... one last thing."
	"What?" Ryoga asked.
	She suddenly grabbed him by the front of his shirt and 
dragged him towards her and cinched him in a tight embrace. She 
whispered into his chest, "I missed you, you stupid fool."
	Ryoga returned the hug and murmured, "Me too..."

	In the dining room, Akane gave a small knowing smile... 
after all, she'd spent years controlling the paths of chaotic 
functions like storms... it wasn't that tough to set Ryoga's feet 
on the proper course...

To be continued....

-----------------------

To Part 6
Email Author
Back to the That's One Half My Goddess index