Family Trees
A multi-crossover
Part 1 - A Pebble Tossed
By Thrythlind
Warning: taking this fic too seriously could be dangerous to your mental health...it is going to be intentionally unlikely and rather silly and bizarre...
this fic is coming out of my Silly Product of Sleep Deprivation, with ideas pulled from the barracks scene of Hot Shots, Tales of Ranma and Ranko, Amaya's Changes, slayers fics, and various comments on that first fic (originally intended as a one shot).
Kasumi filled their guest's tea cup and continued on serenely to fill Akane's, Mr. Saotome's and Ranma's.
"Will there be anything else?" Kasumi asked calmly.
"No that will be all, thank you Kasumi," Nadoka turned with her nearly ever-present smile to face the other three individuals at the table.
"If this is family business, what's Akane doing here?" Ranma asked, trying to hide his worry under a veneer of impoliteness. His mom calling them for family business was NOT what he considered good news, he was keeping an eye on her wrapped katana.
"As if I have any interest at all in the Saotome family affairs." Akane was also watching the katana, and she'd be damned if she was going to let Ranma know she was worried about him.
"Wait a moment, I just remembered an important previous engagement." Genma started to stand and leave.
"Sit," the command was a small chorus from all three of the others. Ranma and Akane didn't know what was coming, but they were damn certain it was his fault somehow.
"Now as I was saying, there is something I need to tell Ranma." Ranma and Akane both narrowed their eyes at Genma, who sweatdropped.
~I'm making sure you go ahead of me, old man, and what did you do to get Akane roped into this?~
~There is no way I'm letting you get away with this...uh...not that I care.~
"Genma is not your natural father."
"You don't have to do it..." Akane shouted. "Wait a minute."
"What did you say?!?!"
"I said Genma is not your natural father." Akane and Ranma facefaulted, as did someone standing outside the door.
"Nabiki!" Kasumi's muffled yet scandalized voice declared from the hallway. "It is not polite to easedrop." The Saotomes and youngest Tendo sweatdropped.
"He's NOT my natural father," Ranma repeated after righting himself. He and Akane turned to glare at him again.
"And I thought he was low before," Akane noted. Genma swallowed and looked for somewhere to disappear to.
"No, I met Genma while I was pregnant with you," Nadoka calmly sipped her tea. "Your father and I had parted ways before I learned that you'd be coming, and I couldn't find him again after that."
"And you married HIM?" Akane said, shocked.
"Oh yes, I wanted my son to be a master martial artist like his father was, but I couldn't teach him all he'd need to know. And I was certainly not going to show myself before my father and sister in that circumstances."
"And then along comes Genma and he promised to make my son a 'man among men' and give him a lifelong training in martial arts."
"And you believed HIM?" Ranma asked
"Slight error in judgment," Nadoka said.
"Gee, you think?" Akane put in snidely.
"You can discuss it with him later."
"Oh, I will." Ranma cracked his knuckles.
"I did raise you to be a master martial artist after all," Genma suggested nervously.
"You neglected to place much emphasis on the sword," Nadoka noted. "And that has been my family's art for generations."
"Not to mention the cat fist," Akane noted.
"And Jusenkyo, and the fiancees."
"I need a place, date and time!"
"Nabiki, what did I just tell you?" Akane and the Saotomes sweatdropped again.
"So who is Ranma's father?" Akane asked. Nadoka retrieved an old photograph from inside her kimono and displayed it formally. The man in the picture wore a white gi with torn sleeves and a red headband, and he was obviously a masterful martial artist.
"Looks familiar," Akane admitted.
"At any rate," Nadoka returned the photo to its hiding place without giving a name. "Genma adopted you and took you on that regretful training trip, knowing what I do now I would have taken you to meet my family much earlier."
"Meet your family," Akane repeated. ~A chance to meet more of Ranma's family?~
"I still don't see why Akane has to be here," Ranma complained.
"Shut up Ranma."
"Well, I'd like you and Akane to take a trip with me to meet your grandfather and cousin. I myself haven't seen them since before my sister graduated school, and none of us have seen or heard from our brother after his last letter from China," she sighed wistfully for a moment. "I should have at least gone for my sister's funeral, but I couldn't see them yet."
~Ranma's relatives,~ that thought was followed by an almost audible *kching* sound as Nabiki considered the profit opportunities. "Hey I'll go!" She stepped into the room, unconcerned about appearances suddenly.
"What?" Ranma blinked. "I don't want to..."
"Nabiki, they didn't invite you," Akane protested. ~Wait a minute, did I just confirm I want to go...damn it!~
"Actually that is a good idea," Nadoka decided. "This way there is a chaperone from both families."
"See sis," Nabiki smirked. Ranma looked around and tried to judge as to whether he had any say in this happening. "Besides it will give you and Ranma some time to decide what to do with him."
"I'll go pack."
Nabiki felt a familiar sensation as she entered her room. She had been about to start packing, but it wouldn't be a good idea to give him too much of an idea of her plans. She smirked without turning to face the materializing cloaked-man.
"Long time no see," she said in a bored manner. Then she turned to face him, leaning against her dresser. "So what brings you to this neck of the cosmos?"
"Ah, nothing important," he said cheerfully through closed eyes. "I just came to visit a talented girl of my acquaintance."
"Really, Xellos" Nabiki drawled, arching an eyebrow and crossing her arms.
"Is it too much to ask that I'd like visit my children?"
"You expect me to believe that, Xellos?"
"Not especially," her visitor answered smiling. Nabiki waited. "You know, you really should get out a little more, go on a vacation or something."
"And for what reason do you want me out of town?"
"Actually I was hoping you'd take your sister with you as well."
"You don't want someone to see us?"
"Well," Xellos smirked. "That...is a secret."
"And the favor...has a price," she riposted. Xellos smirked in pride.
"Which..."
"Depends on the reason why you want me to do it," Nabiki noted.
"Well the gate that brought your mother here is going to stablize enough for human use again," he explained. "Some of our old companions are going to come and try to visit her."
"Well I don't see...oh...SHE's coming isn't she," Nabiki smirked.
"That is a..."
"Doesn't she know about me and..." Nabiki interrupted. She gave a predatorial smirk. "She doesn't know about Akane, does she."
"It shouldn't be too long," Xellos said. "We plan on visiting our daughter later."
"Well, I suppose I can find a way to get me and Akane out of town for a while." Being empathic, Xellos DID hear the *kching* sound, or at least in detected the emotions connected with it, and smiled.
"And what is the price?"
"Can you teach me that teleport thing?"
"Hmmm, interesting," the old man turned the postcard over in his hand and investigated.
"You wanted to talk to me grandpa?" he turned to the polite young boy, who seemed almost relieved to be pulled out of the chaos of his normal life.
"We'll be having visitors soon," the old man said. "Family."
"I didn't think any of father's relatives wanted to come back after that incident with..."
"This is your mother's family, my other daughter and her son," the old man interrupted.
"Mom had a sister?" the young man blinked.
"And a brother, I've been on Earth for many human life times" the old man explained. For a moment the young boy seemed to be considering possibilities. "Don't hope to much for a relief from the girls, it seems your cousin's fiancee is coming along as well."
"It wouldn't have been fair anyway," he said reluctantly. "So what's my cousin like?"
"He apparently is a martial artist of some skill and power, perhaps you can learn something from him." The boy shrugged humbly, as if that was no surprise. His grandfather smiled, knowing he was much better than he pretended to be. "Now perhaps you should return to the fields, before Sasami starts looking for materials for tonight's dinner.
"Get back here before I call a spirit to wrap that thing around your head!"
The woman shouting seemed almost like a young girl, standing just barely five feet tall with short brown hair tied with a ribbon. Her long pointy ears twitched angrily as she shouted. She was wearing a red leather jerkin that looked like it was something out of a dungeons and dragons convention. Hooked at her back was a short, three foot stave with spear points at either end. Her eyes showed a deal more age than her body, however.
"I was just going to find something to drink."
"Man you're a jerk!" the girl shouted again. "I swear, you are such a moron. I miss the gate home and what do you do, send her into the world as a child on a vendetta!"
"Well I thought you were dead, and the family honor needed to be...."
"BAKA!! Do you realize that she has like three months before she has to choose mortality or immortality? AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW IT!!!!" (its a Tolkien thing)
"Well I didn't see the need to, with you dead..."
"You didn't even SHOW her the books of magic I left for her to study! ARGGG!!!"
"Well..."
"Shut up, shut up...let's just find her and then I can give her a crash course of being born with elf blood."
Family Trees
A multi-crossover
Part 2 - A Splash in the Pond
By Thrythlind
Last Episode: Ranma learned that Genma isn't his father, and he and Akane are off to meet his mother's family. Nabiki was visited by Xellos who wants her and Akane out of the city while certain people are coming to visit. A elfin girl(??) berates a man about sending a girl off on a vendetta.
"Hmm, there's a lot more to this place than it looks like there is," Ranma noted.
"Yeah, it feels," she thought about it. "Well it feels like Nerima actually."
"Really, Akane," Nabiki huffed, trying to keep up with the other three was becoming rather tiring. Nabiki had new respect for Nadoka after all this climbing. "Do you think there is anywhere that attracts as much trouble as our little hometown?"
"Yeah, Akane, that's silly," Ranma agreed. "Nothing could be as bad as Nerima." A series of explosions rocked the top of the hill they were climbing.
"I can't stand it ANY longer!" the shouting voice drifted in from the end of one explosion. There was a distinct note of haughtiness to it, similar to Kodachi's but MUCH softer. "I'll teach you to chase after MY Tenchi!!"
"Oh why would Tenchi want a stuck up girl like you?" Several more explosions sounded and faded into the distance. The Nerimans sweatdropped.
"You were saying," Akane put in, as they continued up the stairs. They found themselves at the top of the hill standing before a large, comfortable looking house.
"Now I suppose we should call at the shrine first," Nadoka said, turning away from the house. Akane and Ranma turned to find more steps and shrugged. Nabiki facefaulted.
Six figures found themselves standing on the edge of a town just in front of what seemed to be a circular rip in the fabric of time and space.
"How long will that remain open?" one of them asked, a short man with what seemed to be blue skin. The red-head in front of him was much shorter than he was. She hmphed irritably at the question.
"For us or for them," the red-head jabbed her thumb at the tall blonde woman standing next to the short blue-skinned man. Then she jabbed a finger at the purple-haired man standing next to a tall slim, black-haired woman with a generous figure and a look of righteousness on her face. ~Not fair, why can't I get tall and big like that? Well at least she doesn't look hideous like her sister did.~
"For all of us, of course," the blue skinned man answered irritably.
"I think it will be about a month before the gate turns unstable again," she answered. "Are you certain she lives around here?"
"Well," the purple haired man started.
"Oh, Xellos's certain all right," the black haired woman next to them, confirmed. Xellos sweatdropped.
"Well let's go find her then," the sixth person piped up suddenly, he was a tall, blonde haired man standing protectively next to the red-headed woman. The black haired woman began concentrating and gathering power.
"What are you doing, Amelia-san?" the blonde woman asked, curiously. Amelia glanced at Xellos and arched an eyebrow.
"I'm trying to find MY daughter, of course," she explained. Xellos sweatdropped again.
"Man, she's angry," the blonde man said.
"Gourry, if I found out that YOU had children across half the cosmos, I'd be mad too."
"How can you have children across a comma, Lina?"
*SMASH*
"Excues me, can you tell me the way to the Tendo dojo?" Ryouga embarrassedly scratched the back of his head as the pair turned to face him. The girl was kind of cute, though those pointy ears were weird. Then again, he had fangs so who was he to talk. There was something familiar about the man's weapon, it looked like a giant fly swatter, though something was telling him he should recognize it as something else.
"Sorry, never heard of the place," the girl waved her hand dismissively. "But maybe you could help us?"
"Uh...." Ryouga swallowed. "I'm not certain about that, what do you need."
"We're looking for a Ranma Saotome." The girl blinked as Ryouga took on a sudden change.
"Ranma...Saotome!" he growled. "Let me guess, your father here..." The girl lifted one red leather boot and slammed it into his foot before he could finish. He looked down, and then said in a resigned voice, "What did you do that for?"
The girl blinked as she tried to figure out why that hadn't hurt him. She'd smashed toes through steel plated boots before.
"This baka isn't my father," she snapped irritably. "He's my husband."
"Leaf, why don't we just go on, he doesn't seem trustworthy to me." Leaf glared at him out of the corner of her eyes. Then held her hands out in front of her and concentrated.
"I call upon the power of the gnomes," she mumured, as a light grew between her hands and tentacles erupted from the ground to grab the man. He grabbed the weapon off his back and started swatting the things ineffectually. "You're not one to talk about trustworthy."
"Okay so why are you looking for Ranma Saotome?"
"Because my baka husband here sent our daughter after him and his father ten years ago while I was....stuck somewhere."
Ryouga glanced again at the weapon the man was using to smack the tentacles around his feet.
"Excues me, is that a spatula?"
*bleep**bleep*
A slim hand reached from underneath the blankets and cast about for the source of the sound. After about ten more seconds of incessant bleeping the hand found the necessary button.
"Hello?" a muffled voice spoke from under the blankets.
"Detective Kiyone?" There was a stifled growl from under the blanket. The bed's occupant reminded herself that THIS was why she bothered with keeping up the rent on their apartment. Headquarters couldn't contact them there unless it was an emergency. If it was an emergency her earring would have been blaring.
"Speaking, make it quick, its really early."
"There have been some inquiries into your whereabouts."
~Great, just what I need,~ Kiyone thought. ~I wonder what that's all about.~ "Do you have a name?"
"Let me see here a moment," there was a shuffling of papers and then the man read a name. The blankets were silent for a long moment. "Detective?"
"I'm not certain I heard that correctly," Kiyone said, head coming out from under the blankets as she turned to face the communicator. It was a blank screen, she generally left it set to audio only while she was asleep. "Could you repeat that name?"
"Certainly," the other officer said. Kiyone was certain she'd heard it correctly this time. She leaped out of bed and looked about her room. The area was quite clean compared to Mihoshi's quarters, but there was certainly room for improvement.
"STALL HER!!! I NEED MORE TIME!!!" Kiyone rushed about in a cleaning frenzy.
"Detective," the voice on the communication screen asked. "Is this some criminal coming for you?"
"No! That's my mother!"
"What? Ranchan is gone?" Ukyou shouted.
"Is true?" Shampoo demanded. Kasumi nodded, smiling happily.
"Yes, he and my sisters went to visit his mother's family."
"Oooo, she's a sneaky one that Nabiki," Ukyou snarled.
"Pardon?"
"Well, Akane is too rash for this kind of plot," Ukyou explained. "But Nabiki on the other hand, get Akane and my Ranchan off alone together with Ranma's family. Let her start to feel like part of the family and then...bang."
"Akane fall in love with Ranma and stupid Airen marry violent girl," Shampoo growled.
"We have to put a stop to this plot!" a new voice declared. They turned to see a leotard clad girl standing on a light post just outside the doorway. "I will show the pitiful Akane Tendo and her devious sister that Kodachi, the Black Rose, and the Black Rose alone, is the one for my beloved Ranma. And where, pray tell did Ranma leave to?"
"I believe it is a shrine in the country," Kasumi said. "Wait a moment, I think I have the address." Kasumi disappeared into the house.
"You two hussies can leave now," Kodachi informed them arrogantly. "There is no need of you."
"Crazy girl think she only one get address?" Shampoo growled. "Shampoo learn address and then she free airen from violent-girl."
"Are you two out of your gourds," Ukyou laughed. "I've got the best chance of us all, he doesn't even like you two!" Weapons were brandished.
"Hello girls," Soun called out as he walked past the door.
"Hello Mr. Tendo," all three said cheerfully.
"Now, where were we?" Ukyou said. "Oh yeah that's right." The dust cloud erupted at that point.
"Ah here's that address," the paper was immediately snatched out of Kasumi's hand by a ribbon.
"OHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Too slow girls!" Kodachi bounced off, Shampoo and Ukyou in pursuit.
"Oh my, I wonder if we should send them a warning." Kasumi considered it and shrugged, Ranma would be expecting it.