Martial Artists and Mayhem: Third Edition
A Ranma 1/2 / Slayers / Tenchi Muyo AU fanfic
Part 4: Never, Never, Never
By Thrythlind
"So what was that all about anyway?" Ranma asked as he caught back up with Akane on the way to the main hall.
"Where'd you get the hot water?" Akane asked curiously.
"I know a little magic," Ranma shrugged.
"Like you know a little bit about fighting," Akane asked levelly.
"Nah, its a blood thing," Ranma shrugged.
"Whatever," Akane shrugged.
"You didn't answer my question," Ranma noted. Akane growled quietly before sighing in resignation.
"You know the story how Tenchi Masaaki defeated the demon Ryoko and won her heart, right?" Akane asked. "Before they and the dryad queen, Ayeka were elevated to power status after who knows how many adventures."
"Yeah, Auntie likes telling that story," Ranma agreed, not mentioning who "Auntie" was.
"Well, every once in awhile, one of us battle priests sets an engagement challenge," Akane explained further.
"I thought you said this wasn't your idea," Ranma said.
"It isn't, let me finish, or I WILL hammer you into something unrecognizable," Akane growled. "I have a few spells left."
"Heh, heh" Ranma waved his hands in a warding manner. "Go ahead."
"Good," Akane growled. "Anyway, about the end of last winter, Kuno deciced that as a paladin of Tenchi..."
"Hmph," Ranma snorted. "I'm surprised he hasn't been damned already for that crap."
"Would you stop interrupting?" Akane snapped, whacking Ranma on the back of the head. "Anyway, Kuno made this speech and decided to make the stupid challenge for me."
"So you have to fight all those guys every morning?" Ranma said in disbelief.
"I always win for some reason," Akane shrugged.
"Guys let up a lot when they fight girls," Ranma said angrily
"Don't underestimate me," Akane said, misinterpretting the comment. "Try me for real some time."
"No way," Ranma said, flat out. "I couldn't do it."
"Because I'm girl, right?" Akane demanded.
"No, of course not," Ranma snapped in response. "It's because uhh...yeah you're right, it's because you're a girl." Akane narrowed her eyes, she wasn't always the sharpest, but she could tell he'd bee about to say something else. She still leapt to the wrong conclusion.
"We're not getting married," Akane snapped. "And don't mention that while we're around here!"
"Hey, you're the one that brought it up," Ranma protested.
"Whatever," Akane shrugged as they came to the main doors of the hall. "Just behave and wait for them to introduce us."
"This is stupid," Ranma muttered. "I shouldn't be here."
"Stop acting like a vagabond," Akane snapped, and then bit her lip to keep from shouting anything more volatile.
Gosunkugi read the message in his hand, and read it several more times just to make sure he got it right. This couldn't be, his beloved promised to vagabond adventurer with nothing to his claim but a name. He would have to remedy that situation, later.
"Introducing the berserker priestess Akane of the Tendo House and...and...and," Gosunkugi couldn't even say it. He sighed, and took courage in the fact that nobody would notice him anyway. "Her betrothed, Ranma of the Saotome House, an adventurer and follower of the monastic life." Ranma and Akane both twitched at various parts of the small introduction.
"Betrothed!!" came the general cry. "How could you Akane, you said you despised men!"
"Hey, it's not true!" Akane shouted desperately.
"Its freakin' arranged, you jerks!" Ranma added his own comments. "We never a--"
"Nay! It shall not be so!" everyone turned to face Kuno appearing in the hall. "I, Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder vow before my patron Tenchi Masaki," there was a crack of thunder outside of the keep from the ongoing rain storm. Kuno took it as a sign of support, nobody else was quite that oblivious. "That I shall free the valiant Akane Tendo from this obviously unlawful engagement." The enraged nobleman charged forward and slashed at the dodging Ranma.
"Stand your ground!" Kuno shouted.
"Hey, this ain't a place to fight!" Ranma snapped back. "Follow me!"
"That I shalt cur!" Kuno snapped back. He followed close behind.
"A duel!" a nameless courtier shouted excitedly.
"A duel for the hand of Akane," one of the maids clarified. "How romantic!" A small mob followed the fighters, Akane at their head. The captain of the guards stepped to the side to avoid being overrun as the younger generation swarmed by.
"Hey, no running in the hall!"
"Yes, sir!" the crowd said, without doing as they said. After a short run Ranma moved to a window and nimbly made ready to jump. Of course the fact that it was big enough to jump through signified that it was above arrow range, but Ranma didn't care.
"Let's take this outside," Ranma shouted on his way through. "Follow me!"
"Fear not!" Kuno shouted in return.
"But...this is the cliff side of the keep!" Akane shouted as Ranma and Kuno exited the building. She rushed to the window to look down, seeing a Ranma-chan descending through the rain down the keep and the cliff. A little above him, Kuno's had frozen in shock on realizing what he had just done.
"No sweat, I can..." Ranma paused and took stock of her body parts. "Damn baka trigger. Damn act. Baka Pop. Kawaiikune berserker priestess."
She stopped grumbling in time to gather enough power to incant a spell to slow her fall. She really hadn't used that since she was learning to fly, but Ranma really didn't want to be sprouting wings at the moment.
"Did Saotome shrink?" somebody asked as the crowd hit the windows.
"Must be some sort of illusion," another person said.
"At least this tunic is loose enough it wouldn't be too damaged," Ranma thought before glancing down and saw that she was still some fifty feet from the ground, then looked up just before Tatewaki Kuno collided with her. Ranma grabbed tighter hold of the fainted nobleman. "Pathetic, losing it over a little fall." Of course, having the wings and magic to back her up, Ranma's definition of little fall included the hundred feet of castle and the hundred fifty feet of cliff following. Even without magic, he knew how to handle falls that would break bones on most people.
"Huh?" Kuno's eyes blinked open as he was slung to Ranma's back. Then he clamped on his reluctant rescuer. "I fight on!"
"Kuno has to know now!" Akane said despairing, making for the stairs.
"Hey! Let go!" Ranma shouted as his spell started to falter with the combined activity and weight. Kuno's grasping hands found Ranma's breast, and squeezed. Ranma gasped and slumped for a moment as her eyes glazed. Then the half-succubus shook her head clear and narrowed her eyes angrily.
Kuno was ripped from Ranma's back as the girl's hair darkened to a crimson and she grew about three inches, tall enough she'd no longer be mistaken for a short elf. A pair of great batwings completely stopped their descent as Ranma snapped her face into Kuno's.
"Did I say I was hungry!" Ranma shouted before kissing Kuno and drawing out his life force. They landed as Ranma pulled away from Kuno leaving the swordsman with a dreadfully confused, and somewhat esctatic look on his face. Ranma shrunk back down to her normal petite size as she dropped the offending nobleman. Then looked about frantically for witnesses. "Baka! Baka! Baka!" The redhead ran off from the scene through the finally clearing rain.
Kuno lay back and dreamily tried to figure out what had happened. He managed somehow to cross his arms and was fingering the ring he was wearing on one hand.
"That person was female," Kuno thought, as he remembered the angry red-eyed face shouting at him. "Which means..." Kuno flipped to a seated position. "Ranma Saotome, you cur! Do you think that you've escaped me!?"
"Damn pervert!" Ranma snapped to herself as she wrung out her breeches, hiding in a tree. Normally, Ranma didn't mind perverts...much. Being squeezed like a ripe was certainly something that went beyond her limits."That HURT!" She looked into her shirt to see if the nobleman had bruised her...again. The last bruise was only just fading. "And of course I had to go and show myself. I'll bet the pervert even thinks it was a reward!" Ranma decided not to peek into that possibility, she wouldn't have to deal with Kuno for another couple of days anyway. "Everybody has to know about me now. Baka! Baka!"
"All they saw was that you'd shrunk," a voice called from below.
"Akane?" Ranma blinked looking down and saw Akane holding a metal kettle. ~She's not trying to banish me.~ "What?"
"What the hell were doing jumping into the RAIN anyway?" Akane demanded.
"I ain't used to this yet, okay?" Ranma hmphed sticking her tongue out. "Its only been one...uh...month."
"That's a lot of time," Akane snorted.
"Shut up!" Ranma snapped, returning to ring out her pants.
"Then maybe I'll just throw away this..." Akane held up the kettle. "...hot water."
"Whatever," Ranma shrugged. "I can..." He stopped as he saw Akane was no longer paying attention to him. ~Gee, I feel so wanted.~
~Sir Kuno!~ Akane said. She tossed up the kettle, never having heard Ranma's response. "Catch!"
"Whither Ranma Saotome!?!" the stomping Kuno shouted. Ranma snapped to attention at that sound.
~How, by Zechs' mask is he walking around!?!~ Ranma asked. ~He's not a true paladin, but he's got...~ There was a clang as something hard and metal passed through Ranma's distracted defenses.
Kuno stopped as he became aware of Akane standing in to his side and glaring at him.
"Sir Kuno," Akane said. "I challenge you!" She dropped into stance and held her hands in the loose style of someone trained in both fighting and spellcasting.
"Akane, oh Akane," Kuno shook his head. "Never did I dream that you would challenge me. Very well! If you defeat me, then I shall allow you to court me. Thus I shall lose with all my might."
"And who's interested in you?" Akane demanded. "Ranma, turn back into a boy while I buy you time." Elsewhere a small redhead lay sprawled unconscious across the ground with a dented kettle in her face, pouring a small stream of hot water a couple inches to the side of her face until the water inside trickled below the spout.
Kuno lunged forward with a basic downward strike. Akane easily caught the bokken in her hand, but the force of the blow threw her backwards. As Akane was pushed off her feet, she kicked upward and the arrogant swordsman flew back and away, his bokken still in Akane's hands.
"Ugh," Ranma groaned, ~What hit me?~ Ranma pulled the kettle up away from her face and resignedly checked her face for damage again. The slight burning sensation caused her to look at the near-empty kettle in her hands. "Cold iron, of course, maybe I don't want to know what I look..." An upside down head suddenly appeared atop the now destroyed kettle, spilling the remaining water over the ground.
"Eh," Kuno paused. "You're that woman." Kuno paused and recalled his "rescue." Nay, this was no woman, this was a demoness. It truly mattered little to Kuno, she had to know where the cur had vanished to.
"You're still a woman!" Akane yelled as she came to the scene. She apparently didn't notice the bruise deveolping on Ranma's forehead, or the red mark from where the kettle had settled.
"You have good arm Akane," Ranma said dryly. "You'd do the hill giants proud." Akane fumed but Kuno spoke before she could retaliate.
"So, did you see where the man in the pigtail went?" Kuno asked. Akane's expression went from one of rage to one of disbelief at Kuno's question. Ranma shook her head know, it wasn't quite a lie, she hadn't seen a man leave anywhere. "That coward, running away from a fight! No doubt he feared my prowess. Bah! He is no man!" Ranma narrowed her eyes again and tossed the jerk upward.
~This pervert saying I'm not a man!?~ Ranma snapped. ~As if he knows anything more about being a man than the berserker knows about being a woman.~ Kuno landed as Ranma was standing up.
"That hurt you know," Kuno said. Ranma twitched, he should be unconscious already.
"I don't have to take this," Ranma snapped, falling into stance. "I can take you anytime! Just try it!"
~I see it now, she has been summoned and bound by that warlock Saotome,~ Kuno declared. ~Obviously he uses her as a distraction to enable his escape. I thought Akane was my Ryoko, how ironic that she, a priestess of the demoness, should turn out to be the Ayeka to my Tenchi.~ Kuno's musings ended shortly before Ranma focused on reading the swordsman's thoughts, fortunately for both of them.
"Amazing," Kuno said aloud as he took the bokken back from Akane. "Well, should you win, I will allow you to court me as well."
"Who said anything!" Ranma shouted, jumping over a slash and then kicking outward. With one foot she grabbed the outstretched bokken and ripped it from Kuno's hand. With the other, she slammed Kuno into the ground. "About wanting you!" ~As anything more than a snack, how is he walking around anyway?~
~She is far more formidable than Akane," Kuno thought as he toppled to the ground.
"You're an embarrasment to your God, Kuno!" Ranma spat. "You'll never beat Ranma Saotome." Ranma glanced over him and saw a bit of magic. A bit of strong magic actually. Hunting it down, he found a simple ring. She slipped it off and looked at a bit before shrugging as she slipped it back on his finger.
~Who is she?~ Kuno asked himself as she started to walk away with Akane.
"Okay, let's go home," Ranma said, slipping her breeches on.
"Court isn't over yet you know," Akane growled.
"I'm not going out in public like this," she gestured at her face. "I'm hideous!" The demoness drew out a large bandanna and wrapped it around her head to somewhat hide the cosmetic damage.
"Are you sure you're not a girl?" Akane demanded.
"A ring of regeneration, Little Kuno?" a disembodied voice mused. "You've been holding out on me." The voice faded as it followed Akane and Ranma. Kuno lay sprawled on the ground, the ring had been taken off, as far as it was concerned, all the wounds had already been there before being on Kuno's finger, and those kind of wounds it couldn't heal. Kuno ignored the pain.
"Obviously she is a mystical vassal to Saotome," Kuno pondered. "If I could free her and convince her to turn from the darkness...I would do my Lord Tenchi the greatest honor!"
"Ranma," Genma said from his upside down position. "Akane really looked out for you today, didn't she?" He looked over at his son, who was sporting a simple mask over his face."Its not like I asked her too," Ranma said from his own upside down position. "Besides she ruined my face, it'll take me all night to heal this bruise." Ranma as surprised as Genma suddenly manipulated him into a seated position, then the younger man prepared for a lecture.
"What business is it of yours how he acts, Akane," Nabiki sighed. "What's the big deal about a boy that changes into a girl. There are some creatures that can do that from birth.""That's easy for you to say, Nabiki!" Akane snapped, she was wondering why her sister was doing her exercises in Akane's room. "But there are already rumors spreading about me over this. They're saying that we're REALLY engaged. When this curse gets revealed, do you want everyone to think I'm a pervert too?"
"You battle priestess marry women all the time," Nabiki pointed out.
"Yeah, but what if they think that I cast the spell on him!?" Akane demanded.
Outside the door, Ranma paused, about to knock on the door. He glared silently.
"Why that little," Ranma growled as he walked away from Akane's room. "How am I supposed to thank THAT?"
Martial Artists and Mayhem: Third Edition
Part 5: To the Fierce Demoness
By Thrythlind
"Nabiki Tendo I...have need of your services," Kuno said reluctantly.
"Oh really Little-Kuno?" Nabiki asked without looking up from the tome of beauty secrets she had taken borrowed from the Hall's library. "What do you need this time?"
The last time Kuno had hired her it was to identify the "demonic beast" that had been "ravaging the Kuno stores." It had taken Nabiki all of two minutes and no magic to find the raccoon tracks. Moderately insulting, but at least it was an easy job.
"Yesterday I found myself presented with a fierce demoness," Kuno started. The Xellos priestess immediately started choking. "Is something wrong, Lady Tendo?" Nabiki took a big breath to clear her throat and assembled herself to answer the swordsman.
"I just breathed in some dust is all," Nabiki assured him. "Which demoness was this Little-Kuno?"
"She had crimson hair, like blood pooling in the darkness," Kuno explained. "Worn short in a pigtail,with an elegant sleeveless tunic that left her dark wings free to move."
"Oh that demoness," Nabiki said. ~I'd have thought he'd forget that part.~ "I know her."
"Nabiki Tendo," Kuno declared. "Can this be true!? Do you also make a practice of summoning fiends for your purposes?"
"Let's not leap too far here Little-Kuno," Nabiki insisted. "I've seen her once or twice, I know where she...lairs why?" Kuno sat down, unrolled a scroll, and hastily began writing.
~If she thinks that she can defeat the great Sir Kuno and simply walk away,~ Kuno thought while chuckling evilly. ~Then she thinks wrongly.~ He stood up sharply and presented the newly written message. "Here..."
Nabiki looked at the message and considered it briefly before taking the envelope, and a few coins besides.
"This is for me?" Ranma blinked as he held the message.
"To the 'fierce demoness' he said," Nabiki clarified. "You've really got is imagination working. I don't even think he knows you're the same person."
"'Meet me in the second field of Furinkan Hall,'" Ranma read aloud.
"Sounds like a duel, huh?" Akane said calmly from behind Ranma.
"Little-Kuno just hates to lose!" Nabiki added. She had suspected something like this, it was a good chance. She still didn't want to risk casting a spell directly over Ranma to detect anything, it might tip him off, but she could always examine behavior.
"Vengeful, hmm?" Akane said, trying not to sound a little concerned. If Ranma wanted to rush his way
straight into trouble it was no problem of hers.
Ranma crushed the letter and tossed it back with a determined look on his face.
Nabiki stretched as she stood up and started to walk for the monastery exit.
"Oh, Nabiki," Kasumi's voice called out.
"Yeah?" the middle Tendo turned to face her sister.
"I need you to do a small favor for me," the priestess of Belldandy told her.
~Well its a couple of hours yet until Ranma's duel,~ Nabiki considered. "Sure, what is it?"
"I need you to check the wards about the grounds."
"B..but that'll take all day!" Nabiki protested. "If I start right away!"
"I know," Kasumi said regrettfully. "But it needs to be done, and I have my own duties to attend to."
"What about Akane?" Nabiki suggested. Kasumi looked at her. "Right, forget I suggested it. I'll get started."
"Thank you, Nabiki," Kasumi said cheerfully before walking out, on her way to her goddess's temple.
"What wonderful timing," Nabiki muttered. She considered just leaving to see Kuno's duel with Ranma anyway, but that would leave her caught in a direct lie, probably the worst thing she could do. ~I wonder if Kasumi even knows how neat a little trap this is.~
Ranma-chan stood in the middle of the training field dressed loosely in her fighting clothes. A cold wind blew through the field and ruffled her hair as she waited. Ranma absently reached up to push the strands away from her face and straighten her hair out a little.
"So you have come," Kuno said as he strode forward to meet her. "My fierce demoness."
"You don't learn very quickly," Ranma noted irritably while looking over the swordsman. "Do you pal? Well, where's your sword?"
"Heh," Kuno snorted arrogantly, looking down
towards the ground and inclining his face away from her. "I have no need of a sword."
"Yeah?" Ranma asked dryly. "Pretty confident, I guess."
"Confident enough," Kuno said. "To give...you...THIS!!" Kuno shouted as he tossed something at the red-haired girl. Ranma, a confused look on her face reached up and snatched the object before looking at it and seeing a bouquet of roses.
"I love you," Kuno said simply, turning away from Ranma and walking.
"HAH!" Ranma said aloud, stopping the swordsman in his tracks. "Sorry, but that's just gotta be the funniest thing I've heard in a long time."
"Tis true, nonetheless," Kuno protested.
"Give it up pal," Ranma smirked, he channeled a small stream of power into the roses. The vibrant colors of the plants faded and withered in moments as the cold energy surrounded Ranma's hand. "A pervert like you ain't got a chance with me that way." She resisted the urge to shift out of human form, here, where anyone could see her.
Ranma tossed the browned flowers at the swordsman, the roses distintegrated before reaching him. Then Ranma left, leaping away before Kuno could react.
"Such is the nature of the spell binding her to this place," Kuno sighed as the wind continued to blow.
Master Tofu walked away from the home of his last patient and rubbed his chin. The condition of the young man wasn't serious, and he had quite honestly told a concerned parent that he would be fine with a few days rest. It was the apparent cause of the patient's weakened stupor that bothered him.
His life force had been drained, and that meant problems. The draining had been fairly gentle, and only a small amount had been taken. In fact it seemed as if whoever had done was trying to avoid seriously hurting the victim. That might change, however, if whoever or whatever was doing it felt safe.
Tofu remembered a small redhead that had been walking with the two younger Tendos. He had been meaning to talk to her about dangerous studies already. Now he wondered if the power she was drawing was more a matter of nature than education.
Ranma-succubus stretched her bare body up and outward, the great wings on her back mirroring the movement of her arms. Then she sighed and looked down at the lifeless husk that had been her lover. He should never have pushed her.
"Told you," Ranma said, only half-regrettfully. "Nothing but a snack."
"I love you," the corpse whispered.
"Nah, you're just a pervert," Ranma said carelessly.
"What have you done!" Ranma turned to see her mother. "You have drained the fool to death!"
"But you said I should..."
"RANMA!" Ranma whirled to see Akane standing in the doorway, holy symbol presented. "A demon in my home!"
"Oh my!" Kasumi's face and voice took on a hard tone. "We have to do something about this!"
"Of course we do," Nabiki agreed. The three presented their holy symbols. Ranma nearly laughed as he heard them chanting to banish evil.
"But I'm not..." Ranma stopped short and screamed as he felt herself ripped to pieces and put back together again. Before she could catch her breath something grabbed her from the ground.
"Welcome home at last, Ranma," a guttural voice growled out as Ranma glanced about and recognized, from description and ancestral memory, the Abyss. "We have a lot of work for you to do..."
Ranma-Chan snapped awake screaming, a sound that was quickly shut off as he recognized her
surroundings. The panda was even asleep next to her, never even having heard his daughter.
"A..a dream," she realized trying to catch her breath.
Ranma hoped nobody had caught her transforming in the middle of the dream, but thought she was probably safe. She recalled the nobleman's confession yesterday and shivered.
Somebody like that might just piss her off enough to do it, and then where would she be? What would make her different from all the soul-sucking monsters that she was related to?
"Hey!" Akane snapped at Ranma. "Save some for the rest of us!"
"You have quiet an appetite this morning, Ranma-kun," Kasumi noted as Ranma started on his third rack of lamb.
"I skipped a meal yesterday," Ranma noted. Nabiki arched an eyebrow.
"You look tired," Akane commented to Ranma-Kun as they began to near the hall. "Starting to get a little sick?"
"I don't get sick," Ranma answered shortly. "I just didn't sleep very well." He added the last quietly.
"Bad dreams, Saotome?" Nabiki asked. Ranma looked to her and narrowed his eyes. Did she know, and if so why hadn't she said anything?
Ranma was saved from answering by the dull roar that introduced the oncoming morning horde.
"Akane Tendo's here!" "With her fiancee!" "Saotome, get away from Ak-" The mob was quickly dispatched as Akane waded through them. Ranma followed still at her side and taking out his own mass of assaulters.
Kuno suddenly jumped into view and charged forward yelling "Attack."
"Kuno," Ranma said, sounding a little nauseous. Akane leaped up and came down in a kick to Kuno's face, taking him down. Ranma, on the other hand, simply vanished.
"What..." Akane asked, looking around. "Did he run away?" She began to growl. "When I get my hands on him, he's going to wish he was never born! What a coward!" Akane stomped her way into the hall.
Nabiki watched from an upper window and tapped her chin. From what she knew, Ranma could handle Kuno easily, however effective Kuno's ring was.
"Very interesting," Nabiki said to herself. "What did happen at that duel."
Ranma chided himself for teleporting like that, not only did it attract attention, it was damn tiring. He did have to avoid Kuno though. He couldn't trust himself not to get angry around the nobleman. He didn't want to deal with those problems at the moment, he didn't want to risk the chance that the nightmare was more accurate than other dreams.
The martial artist left his temporary shelter and glanced back at the unconscious form of Kuno before moving to catch up with Akane. The girl turned to glare at her as came up to match her pace.
"If you're going to get into my fights," Akane snapped. "Don't leave when the real trouble starts."
"I'd rather not see Kuno right now," Ranma grumbled.
"Oh, did you lose your duel?" Akane asked sharply.
"There wasn't a duel!" Ranma retorted. "He gave me flowers and confessed his love for me." Ranma shivered at the thought.
"Kuno is in love with your girl side?" Akane asked before breaking out in laughter.
"Hey, what's so funny about that?" Ranma demanded, not really understanding the joke at all.
"Well you're a man," Akane said. "Aren't you?"
"Uh...yep, that's right," Ranma nod quickly. "What, do I look like a girl to you?"
"Not at the moment," Akane smirked. ~But I'm beginning to wonder.~
Nabiki leaned back to sip the wine from her goblet before leaning forward to begin reading again. Before she could, a stuffed panda toy landed on the book in front of her. Nabiki sighed and wondered if Kuno would ever learn humility and manners before various people and gods finally got fed up with him.
"What's this?" Nabiki asked.
"A present," came the simple answer from behind her.
~A present? These things are hard to come by,~ Nabiki thought. She felt the cloth, filled with some soft material to give form and make it cozy as a pillow. ~Generally people like me have to settle for carved wooden dolls.~ "Why thank you, Little-Kuno. That was..."
"Did I offer it to you Nabiki Tendo?" Kuno demanded.
The world suddenly blackened around the priestess of Xellos, the few people around noticed her sudden change in mood and discreetly found somewhere else to be. The few people with intelligences beyond that of a goblin idiot anyway.
"This gift is for the pig-tailed demon," Kuno declared. Nabiki's eyes popped wide as she spit her wine in Kuno's face.
"Now look at what you made me do," Nabiki growled.
"What I made you do?" Kuno repeated in disbelief.
Nabiki smirked and plopped a small square of embroidered silk on the table. Kuno frowned and picked it up in curiousity. Immediately he was greeted with a minirature image of Ranma-chan bathing. Of course the action was bolstered by Nabiki's imagination to boost the sellability of it.
"It'll last about a week," Nabiki said.
"Ohhh!" Kuno gasped as he watched the illusion sensuously clean herself. "She is so...so...so...thorough."
"She really does love those hot baths," Nabiki snickered. "Three hundred gold, you want it?"
"For a mere week you charge three hundred!" Kuno demanded.
"You want something permanent," Nabiki said. "You'll have to pay me a lot more than that." That was a lot more effort.
"Done!" Kuno said, he set a small jewel on the table and continued. "I'll buy this one for now."
"So what are you planning to do about my sister?" Nabiki asked.
"What is there 'to do' about her?" Kuno asked, seriously.
"You can't be thinking about copying Tenchi," Nabiki asked, eyes narrowed.
"Of course," Kuno said in rebuttal. "Imitation is the greatest form of flattery. And both women are in desperate need of rescuing from the vile Saotome," Kuno declared. Nabiki stared at him for a moment.
"Let me get something straight, Little-Kuno," Nabiki said.
"Certainly," Kuno nodded.
"You know she is a demon," Nabiki started, Kuno nodded. "She tried to put you in coma the last time you saw each other." Kuno nodded again. "And you are STILL want her?"
"Of course," Kuno answered. "She is bound to this world to do Ranma Saotome's bidding. In truth she seems to me merely a demon in skin and not soul. Certainly she shall see my greatness for what it is and take her rightful place with Akane and I, as soon as I have brought the demoness to understand the power of the light."
"And you think a stuffed panda is an appropriate gift to do that?" Nabiki asked. ~I didn't even know he knew what a panda was.~
"Of course," Kuno insisted. "It is the heart of the matter that is important, not the body of it. At any rate, it is bear, I know not what manner of beast a panda is. The artisan made a similar mistake though."
~Ah, that explains that.~ "And you STILL want my sister as well," Nabiki added. Most people would have noted the dangerous glint in her eye and the ice in her voice. Then again, this was Kuno.
She smacked another square of silk on the table. Kuno picked it up and saw the image of Akane going through her "daily observances." Ever since Ranma had arrived, said observances had been the doom of more brick and wood than Nabiki had thought they owned.
"Three hundred gold for one week," Nabiki said.
"Sold!" Kuno shouted.
"Ranma," Nabiki called out as she found her family's guest, as usual, in the audience hall. He never did go much deeper into the keep than that. "Can I speak to you for a moment?"
"About what?" Ranma asked supiciously. Akane turned toward the conversation as well.
"I noticed you didn't go out last night," Nabiki said.
"What's the big deal about that?" Akane wondered. Though she noticed Ranma freeze.
"Maybe you're feeling a little peckish?" Nabiki smirked as Ranma winced.
~Now I definitely know something's going on here,~ Akane thought and excused herself from Yuka and Sayuri's company to follow her sister and Ranma.
"What do you want?" Ranma asked.
"You seem to be starving," Nabiki said. "So I wondered if you'd be interested in a hunt." Nabiki shrugged. Ranma paused in confusion, did she know or didn't she? The Tendo's thoughts weren't any clearer, reading Metalliums always gave him a headache anyway.
"You're going on a hunt?" Ranma asked.
"Yes," Nabiki said. "But I need to do something first, the other member of our party should be along any moment."
"Uh huh," Ranma nodded and looked around cautiously as Nabiki walked away. "So who else is going on this thing?"
"Saotome," a voice behind him drawled. Ranma froze and turned around slowly.
"Kuno, I don't want to..." Ranma caught the stuffed panda as Kuno and stared at it. "Hey, this is kind of..." Ranma stopped himself, remembering that guys generally didn't go around calling things kawaii. He didn't particularly understand that, but he didn't particularly understand a lot of things that men and women did.
"Tell me where you keep her!" Kuno demanded. "Answer me! Where!?"
"Say again?" Ranma asked.
"'When I want to talk to the pig-tailed demoness, I talk to Ranma,'" Kuno continued. "Quoth Nabiki Tendo. Now tell me what magical device you keep her in?"
"I'd forget her if I were you," Ranma snapped, angrily tossing back the bear.
"What?!" Kuno demanded.
"Keep chasing m...her, and it'll get painful," Ranma walked away from the shocked swordsman.
~What...What...?~ Kuno stood in complete shock for several seconds.
Ranma reached the structures of the keep a few steps away and turned a corner. There was a sudden splash of water as a servant emptied a soap bucket.
"Oh, sorry, sir," the man said nervously, backing away cautiously. Ranma waved his hand dismissively.
"No problem," he said shrugging. ~Damn, that almost hit me,~ Ranma thought. ~That would have been...~ Another splash of water dropped onto him and Ranma, now female, groaned. She took a moment to way off keeping the act up and then imagined what Akane might do to her if she found out. ~This is just annoying, I can handle it.~
~Never see her again...~ Kuno continued thinking, on the edge of processing the sentence. He rushed after the man he perceived as the tormentor of his loves. "What do you mean?! Ranma Saotome!" The pig-tailed adventurer was no where to be seen.
"So! Quick to run, are you?" he slashed out and struck down a a tree. He turned at the sound of someone thumping into the ground.
"Ohhh!" Ranma-chan shouted in surprise, as she hit the ground, presenting warding figures with her hands.
"You...you're...the demoness!" Kuno gasped in surprise. He dropped to his knees, arms extended to hug the red-headed girl. "How I've missed y-*"
"Back off!" Ranma snapped from her seated position, fist in the jerk's face. It stopped Kuno for all of a second.
"I shall never let you go!" Kuno shouted as he glomped onto the irritated young woman, who briefly, valiently and futilely fought against fainting. Kuno held her out as he felt her go limp and then shook her. "Oh she is overcome by the power of my presence."
~Can't have that now, can we,~ Nabiki thought as she walked up behind Ranma, Kuno didn't even seem to notice until she upended a kettle over the redheads head. When there was no sudden cry of pain. ~I would have thought that would be hot enough, he seemed interested in avoiding getting burnt when he showed up, hmm.~
Kuno looked up and then, when he looked down, the red-haired demoness was gone to be replaced by a very cross looking Ranma.
"Hey! Leggo!" Ranma snapped a quick kick into Kuno's face. "Got the picture now, idiot? I'm leaving."
"Hold, Saotome!" Kuno shouted. "Return my demoness at once! Sir Kuno shall not be decieved by the tricks of such dark sorcery." Ranma flinched in complete disbelief before whirling back to face Kuno.
"Listen, you idiot!"
~Not quite surprised,~ Nabiki sighed. "I guess we'll have to spell it out to him. Okay, Little-Kuno, this is the facts. That demon-woman, Her body, her soul, belong to him. Do you know what I mean?"
There was an audible sound as Kuno's mind leaped to various conclusions.
~I knew about the spell,~ Kuno thought. ~But her soul AND her body!?~ He whirled on Ranma, slashing outward with a strike Ranma almost casually leaped over. "TYRANT!!" This time Nabiki saw a flash of black power as Ranma landed on the nearest tree, and crouched, as if the tree were a level floor.
"I don't think you've got it!" Ranma shouted.
"Silence! I can see it, though demon."
A scantily clad Ranma-succubus abased herself before a bestial Ranma-kun.
"HEY! I don't look like that!!" Ranma shouted. "And HOW could ANYONE mix THOSE colors?!"
"Don't break in on my imagination!!" Kuno demanded.
"I have a special task for you, my pretty," Ranma-kun leered.
"Yes, master," Ranma-succubus sighed reluctantly. Then Ranma carried her behind a throne.
"You are mine to do with as I please!!" Ranma growled. Ranma-succubus cried out, and the bloom of a nightshade broke off and fell to the ground.
"Oh, how terrible!" Kuno moaned. "DIABOLIST!!" Kuno swung out, and took another swipe, cutting down another tree. Ranma leaped away from his falling perch.
"What the hell are you talking about!!" Ranma shouted. Nobody noticed Akane come around the corner.
"What's this?" Akane wondered.
"I shall free her, I shall fell you!!" Kuno was ranting, as Nabiki watched with a curious look on her face.
"Oh yeah!" Ranma shouted, still in the air. "So if you lose you'll forget her! Right?" Ranma caught Kuno's bokken, and then used it for leverage to kick the swordsman. As Ranma flipped back and landed he saw a couple pieces of cloth fly out of Kuno's tunic.
~Uh oh,~ Nabiki thought as Ranma snatched the cloths out of the air. ~At least I got paid.~
"What's this a handk..." Ranma's jaw dropped as he watched an image of himself, well herself anyway, bathing. At least the actions the illusion of her were taking resembled bathing. "HEY!!!" Ranma was cut off as Kuno's bokken slashed in under his guard.
Akane gasped as Ranma staggered backwards from the blow.
~He felt that?~ Nabiki gasped as Ranma regained his feet, standing wobbily. ~That weapon has no enchantment! Perhaps...~ She appraised Kuno again. Nabiki quietly called on Xellos, a soft purple glow suffusing her.
Ranma meanwhile was again snatching the two squares of cloth out of the air, while neatly dodging Kuno's strikes.
"This, This..." Ranma muttered staring at the illusion his female form doing her act, still dodging Kuno. ~Just what I need, something to encourage Mother.~ He briefly considered letting out his full power and changing to his natural form, that wound would heal faster for one thing. Nabiki probably already knew about him anyway.
"You look elsewhere in the midst battle!" Kuno said quietly and launched forward. "You do not take me seriously!" Ranma dodged backwards, rolling to a headstand just in front of Akane.
~Akane?~ Ranma blinked as Akane stared down at him. For a brief moment she looked worried, then she started to frown. ~She was worried about me?!~ Ranma resisted the urge to preen, any more than usual anyway.
"I think you should know, that..." Akane paused irritated by the information she was about to give him. "...when Sir Kuno fights a male opponent, he is very skilled."
~What, she thinks I can't take care of myself?~ Ranma forgot that she had been worried about him as his mind processed an appropriately sarcastic remark. "And I think you should know that the crotch in your armor is giving out."
"Go back and die!!" Akane shouted, booting Ranma back at Kuno. Ranma flipped around in air, almost as if he were born to maneuver in the air, and angled down at Kuno.
"This game ends now!!!" Kuno shouted, a glow of power surrounded him.
"Huh?" Ranma hesitated a moment as he saw the magic build around Kuno, a soft purple eating away at some magical layer about him. First that ring got brighter, then he began picking out more magic.
"I was right!!" Nabiki shouted. "A cloaking spell!" As the cloaking spell faded away Ranma watched a sudden surge in power, then the bokken launched forward in a sudden burst of out and out speed.
"Yikes!!" Ranma desperately dodged, feeling the passage of the blade just moments after he moved. Behind him the corner of the building Akane was standing by began to crack and shatter.
"Akane, he's going to bring that building down!" Nabiki shouted. Akane dodged to the side as Nabiki's prediction proved true and the small stone shed crumpled, almost on top of her.
"Akane, get out of the way!" Ranma shouted. Akane turned away from the rubble that nearly collapsed atop her to see Kuno smiling victoriously as he slashed down.
"Eyes front, idiot!!" Akane shouted. Ranma dodged the now virtually glowing bokken and inclined his body as he turned to face Kuno. His foot seemed to pass along inches from Kuno's body.
Kuno gave an amused smile as Ranma followed the kick into a leap and landed firmly on his feet. The moment Ranma touched the ground Kuno fell over.
~Pain,~ Ranma thought quietly as he stood standing stoically.
"I didn't see any magic there," Nabiki said, impressed. "How did you...?" Akane walked over and flipped the unconscious man over.
"Oh my," Akane said. "Each blow has hit a vulnerable spot."
"You kicked him," Nabiki gasped. "I never even saw it!"
"I guess Sir Kuno didn't have much," Ranma suggested as he stretched to try to work some of the pain out. "Did he?"
"What do you mean?" Akane asked levely. "You took a hit too, didn't you?"
"Oh that," Ranma said, trying another trick and placing his hands back behind his head.
"Right here," Akane indicated the tear in his shirt. "Is it really all right?"
"Doesn't even itch," Ranma lied, just before Akane poked him. Funny thing about overly reactive senses, they generally work both way. Akane flinched backward as Ranma cried out and dropped to his knees crying.
"Sir Kuno doesn't have much, eh!?" Akane snapped angrily.
"Except a blessed weapon, magical vestment, and one really nice enchanted ring besides the enspelled items," Nabiki listed off. "Must be from his sister."
"Anyway, what distracted you from the fight?" Akane asked calmly. Ranma paused before handing Akane the cloth holding the Tendo woman's illusion. "What the..? What are you doing with this!!?"
"What am I do...? KUNO had them!" Ranma shouted back angrily, he wondered if he had imagined the look of worry on her face earlier.
"Nabiki!" Akane snapped.
"Just making a little money on the side," Nabiki said in a disarming manner.
"My own sister," Akane continued in disbelief.
"At least its not as bad as this other one," Ranma said. Akane froze and growled, before rounding on Ranma holding another square of cloth. He shivered as he furtively tore the square apart. "There that horrible image gone forever." Ranma's back was turned so he couldn't see Akane growling.
"Akane," Nabiki started. "That one wasn't...nevermind." The air was filled with screaming as a red glowing hammer began bashing Ranma and a raging priestess helped it by folding him about.
Martial Artists and Mayhem: Third Edition
Part 6: Assorted Filler Episodes
By Thrythlind
"Master Tofu," the old woman called out. "A patient for you!" Then the woman returned to her errands as a healer's servant, leaving Akane to regard the...lump, that was her fiancee. She colored guiltily as she considered how he had got that way.
"How dare HE call me hideous!!!" Akane demanded angrily at the barely conscious young man before her.
"Akane," Nabiki said nervously.
"WHAT!" The younger Tendo demanded.
"The other illusion wasn't of you," Nabiki admitted.
"Huh? Then who..." she glanced at the groaning figure she had just hammered into the ground. "Uh..."
"That's right," Nabiki said. "You just beat somebody up for objecting to suggestive pictures of themselves."
"Nabiki!!" Akane growled and stepped toward her.
"I think I'll take Little Kuno out of here before that ring of his wakes him up," Nabiki said quickly, backing away from her sister and grabbing the still unconscious Kuno. "I'll be right back." Then her sister was gone.
"Honestly," Akane said, angry. Then she looked at Ranma and considered. "How does that spell go again?"
Nabiki was quite a ways around the corner when the screaming started again.
"Sounds like Akane still hasn't figured out healing magics yet," Nabiki sighed.
"Hmmmmm," Tofu looked over the mangled and charred boy on his cot. "This is astounding."
"This slice here is nothing," Tofu pointed to where Kuno had managed to hit Ranma. "Comapared to these other burns and bruises! This is brutal!"
"Uh," Akane stared down at the floor, her face crimson.
"What kind of monster did this?" Tofu asked turning to the the embarrassed priestess. The sound of a clearing throat brought the attention to Ranma.
"The girl did it," Ranma said weakly. "She belongs in an orc tribe."
"RANMA!" Akane grabbed the cot and dumped the bed-ridden martial artist painfully to the ground. "Just try and say that again!" Then she noticed Tofu staring at her and dropped the cot. "Oh."
"Did you do this Akane?" he asked.
"Um...well..." Akane poked her fingers together. "...that is..."
~Now she does the sweet, innocent bit,~ Ranma thought irritably. Tofu whapped the now empty cot and suddenly laughed.
"Well, it figures!" Tofu said. "I had a feeling." Akane and Ranma were nonpulsed and then Tofu had the young man on the cot again and started to work on his injuries. "The way this joint is out of place, and these burn marks here, that's Akane's touch all right!"
~I wonder if he knows if its where I tried to heal him,~ Akane wondered as Tofu proceeded to snap Ranma back into proper shape, complete with Ranma's surprised and pained yelps.
"You're Ranma, aren't you," Tofu said. "I hear your Akane's fiancee."
"It's an arranged marriage," Akane said angrily. She didn't really have much of a position to argue from. Arranged marriages were hardly rare any longer, it didn't make her happy however.
"Well..." Tofu said and then glanced at the somewhat struggling Ranma. "...It is early yet, neither of you probably know much about each other."
"I don't WANT to know him," Akane snapped.
"That HURTS you know!" Ranma shouted before any other conversation could go on.
"Oh?" Tofu said. "Someplace still hurts, show me."
"Uh..." Ranma paused and took stock of his condition. "I'm okay? I'm all better now!"
"Isn't he a great healer?" Akane asked.
"Not even a mark on me!" Ranma said. Akane twitched as Ranma's odd fixation on a perfect appearance reared its head again. "Cool!" Neither noticed Tofu paying close attention to Ranma.
~He looks similar to that girl,~ Tofu noted. "Ranma you don't feel ill at all do you, no lingering nausea, headaches?"
"I'm a little lightheaded, but that's because I didn't sleep well," Ranma scratched his head. "Why would I..." He looked around and rethought that statement in his head. ~Why would someone else THINK I should be sick? Oh shit, the protection spells, he suspects.~ "NO! Not sick! Not sick at all, perfectly fine. Nothing to bother me around here!" He shouted waving his hands desperately. Tofu arched an eyebrow and considered the young man's behavior.
"Hey, stop it!" Akane snapped, whacking him on the back of his head. "You're embarrassing me." Neither noticed Tofu quietly making subtle gestures. Ranma should have noted a little magic gathering, but he was momentarily concentrated on Akane.
"Uh...heh, sorry" Ranma scratched the back of his head, as the fight died down and he turned toward Tofu again. "Well, excuse me, we should be going." Ranma edged his way to the door watching Tofu cautiously, the healer waved as Ranma exited. It was an odd wave, but Ranma didn't know why. Akane watched him angrily as he left, then she turned to Tofu.
"My apologies, Master Tofu," she said. "The idiot can't seem to remember what manners are."
"I did say something to excite him a little," Tofu admitted.
"Like what?" Akane asked curiously. She hadn't heard him say anything distressing.
"Watch yourself around him," Tofu said.
"You don't think he'd try anything," Akane asked nervously. "Do you?"
"Maybe not him," Tofu said, the entire "not sick" display and how it took Ranma a moment to figure out what Tofu was asking struck him as somewhat naive. It could all be an act, of course, but Tofu didn't think so. "But he strikes me as someone bound for an interesting life."
"I'll keep an eye out," Akane promised him. "At least until I can get out of this marriage and he leaves." Akane bowed deeply and began to go after her fiancee. "Thank you again, Master."
"HEY!! GET BACK HERE!!"
Ranma glanced back towards the clinic and cringed as Akane rushed towards him.
"I guess that means that its time to leave," Ranma whispered sadly. He paused to face what he thought was going to be an attack. When Akane stopped short of him he almost fell to the ground in surprise.
"What do you have to say for yourself?" Akane demanded.
"Huh?" Ranma blinked in confusion. Didn't the healer tell her what he was. Or at least what he seemed to think Ranma was.
"Just why were you so rude to him!?" Akane repeated.
"I wasn't rude," Ranma insisted. "I just...needed to...umm...get home."
"Nevermind," Akane said, anger deflating somewhat. She usually felt a little depressed after seeing Dr. Tofu. This time, however, he had actually talked to her like an equal. "Just try not to embarrass me again." Some part of Ranma noted the missing phrase "in front of him," and he bridled.
"Uh huh," Ranma shrugged. "As if it ain't embarrassing enough just being you." Akane stopped and twitched. "Were you adopted? Your sisters don't seem to have any orc blood."
"THAT'S! IT!!!" Akane shouted.
"Well, if I'm right about him, it should be any time now," Tofu said drinking his tea. "I'll have to ask if anything happened later."
Akane swung outward with her new warhammer towards Ranma. The martial artist effortlessly dodged, casually sticking out his tongue, and then collapsed to the ground. Akane blinked as he hit the ground.
"Wha?" Ranma asked, confused.
"What happened?" Akane asked, obvious concern on her face.
"My legs!" Ranma explained. Then he narrowed his eyes. ~That lousy jerk! He cast some sort of spell on me while I was distracted.~ Ranma's musings ceased as he noticed Akane kneeling in front of him and grabbing his arm over her shoulder.
"Ryoko's Gems," Akane swore.
"What are you doing?" Ranma demanded.
"Piggyback," Akane explained over her shoulder. "You can't walk, can you?"
"You can't expect ME to let YOU carry me around!" Ranma shouted. Akane scowled and considered the reason.
"This is some sort of man thing," Akane growled. "Isn't it?"
"Yes!" Ranma decided after a moment's pause. "You think MAN would put up with this humiliation?" The next thing Ranma knew, he was a she. Hot water may have been relatively difficult to come by, but a little colder water was only a spell away. As Ranma discovered.
"So its okay if we're both girls then?" Akane asked dryly. Ranma tried to find an excuse he could fall back on and found none that would be safe.
"Yeah," Ranma said reluctantly. "Okay." Akane rolled her eyes but picked up the redhead anyway. Ranma stared off into the sky as Akane carried her home and pushed what to do about Tofu back in her mind.
It didn't take long for Ranma to decide that the situation was nice. Not so much the being carried, as that somebody was actually concerned enough about her to do it. She leaned her head against Akane's back and yawned.
~Why can't she be this nice all the time?~ Ranma wondered wearily.
"Hey, don't make me do all the work," Akane snapped as Ranma went completely lax on her back. She was about to add more when her package started to snore. "Idiot."
"You're getting soft, boy!" Genma shouted from across the the courtyard. Ranma growled at the title.
"What do you know about it, Old Man!" Ranma demanded. "It ain't like you've never come back from 'hunting' looking like a rag doll."
"I've never had to be carried back," Genma pointed out, leaping into the air with a loud shout. Ranma rolled his eyes and leapt to meet his father in the air. Ranma's extended leg was gripped between his fathers as they met.
"Master Saotome," Kasumi called out. "Ranma! Breakfast?!"
"Ah! Thank you.." Genma shouted out, neglecting to pay attention as Ranma altered their trajectory and arrangement. "...dear Kas..."
Genma's shout was cut off by a loud splash. Then Ranma-chan was walking out of the small koi pond irritably shaking some of the water off. The woman, now that she was wet, was dragging her panda father from the pond. She looked down at herself, dumped the panda and irritably walked back into the estate.
"I've got to go change," she said irritably. Behind her the panda stood up cleared its head and walked to the breakfast table, sparing a glare for his progeny. Ranma turned back to face him as the panda produced a sign.
#I have arranged some temporary employment.# Genma's sign read.
"Going to join another carnival, Pop?" Ranma asked.
#That was only once!!# Genma signed back. Ranma shrugged as she turned a corner. As soon as she was certain she was out of sight she stripped her tunic off.
"So Ranma, morning workout, huh?" Soun asked as he came down the hall the otherway, not yet noticing that the person he was talking to couldn't see him for the shirt in her face. "Atta boy! Atta-"
Soun opened his eyes as Ranma finally pulled the shirt off and became aware of the other person in the hallway.
There was about one second of silence.
"What are YOU staring at!!" Ranma's voice shouted, Soun was non-responsive as an angry Ranma reared back her hand, and was pelted with hot water.
"Have you no feminine modesty!" Akane shouted.
"There was no one here when I started taking the shirt off!" Ranma-kun retorted.
"And why are you taking off your clothes in the middle of the building!" Akane demanded nearly shoving Ranma's overtunic in his face.
"Well excuse me for not being used to these things," Ranma snapped back gesturing around at the walls. He wringed out the wet tunic and before setting it on his knee and putting the dry shirt on, he'd drop the wet shirt on his way back to breakfast.
"By the way, Akane," Kasumi said as they entered the room again. "Could you stop by Master Tofu's." Akane immediately swallowed nervously while Ranma narrowed his eyes. "I borrowed this book from him, and I'd like you to return it."
"Could you...um...do it yourself Kasumi?" Akane asked sweetly, drawing a confused glance from Ranma. "Today just....isn't good for me."
"Really?" Kasumi asked. "I guess I'll have to."
"I could do it," Ranma suggested. "And besides I know Akane is dying to go." He added the last somewhat under his breath, but Akane didn't miss it. She growled in his direction.
"Father?" Kasumi asked, losing track of the other conversation. "Are you okay, you seem a little dazed."
"Come on, Ranma," Akane snapped. "We'll be late." She grabbed his pigtail and strated running out the door, Ranma managed to snag a leg of lamb as he was pulled away.
"What are you so heated up about?" Ranma asked curiously. Akane merely growled as they passed a small house and some little old woman dumped out the cleaning water in their path.
"Ohhh, YUCK!!" Ranma shouted. "Akane! Hold it! Hold on a moment!"
"Oh, just shut up!" Akane snapped back. She rushed into Furinkan Hall's gate and then turned to slam Ranma into the wall. Ranma took the impact in stride, she hadn't really been slammed hard after all, and looked up at Akane in surprise.
~What's with her,~ Ranma thought. The young woman, again, watched Akane wondering what she was doing.
"Listen you, why don't you keep your big mouth shut!?" Akane shouted angrily. ~Okay, why is he staring at me like that.~
"What do you mean 'big mouth?'" Ranma asked sweetly. Akane merely ignored the cuteness Ranma was instinctively pouring out.
"I mean about Master Tofu and --" Akane stopped as she took in Ranma's altered appearance and the somewhat greasy water covering her. She stared at Ranma's chest for a moment and then opened her tunic to double check. "When...when did?"
"I told you to wait," Ranma said in response. She wasn't exactly certain what to do at this point. She'd had one or two dreams like this, though as many ended like the Kuno dream as they did happily. ~She's confusing me again.~
The succubus instincts fought a valiant but futile battle against the bulk of Ranma's personality, and took the felling blow when a large number of male courtiers stared over Akane's shoulder and chorused.
"Ooooooo!"
"HEY!! STOP STARING AT ME!!" Ranma shouted as Akane whipped around in prepartion for battle. ~Ohh....I am going HUNTING tonight!!"
"So!" Akane declared, hefting her hammer. "Who's first today?"
"Akane," a tearful noble started. "We shall no longer challenge you."
"Instead," a guard next to him indicated. "We shall swallow our sobs..."
"And give our approval..."
"To your betrothal to Ranma!!"
"What in the name of..." Ranma started to ask from behind Akane.
"Close your tunic and quit hiding behind me!" Akane snapped. "Now what in the name of..."
"So then," a now familiar voice proclaimed. "You have all heard this rumor, this falsehood that Ranma Saotome defeated me!"
"Great, he looks better than I do," Ranma muttered angrily, upset at her own currently grimy appearance and Kuno's prestine one. "Stupid ring, he should be a mass of bruises still."
"Sir Kuno does not admit defeat!" Kuno declared.
"Kuno was this city's greatest fighter," someone explained.
"Yeah! And the greatest freak!"
"FREAK?!!" Kuno repeated angrily, seeking out the offender.
"If it is Ranma that you have chosen," someone said. "Then we shall give up."
"They don't know a real freak when they see one," Akane whispered to Ranma with a small laugh. She paused a moment as Ranma winced and looked at her with a hurt expression. Akane thought seriously about apologizing before Kuno spoke up again.
"Kuno shall not give up!" Kuno declared. "A hundred kicks, two hundred, from a coward like Ranma...do not even itch!" Ranma-chan shook angrily and stepped forward.
"Freak, coward," she said quietly staring at the ground, then whipping up to glare at Kuno. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!!?! You LOST, just admit it!"
"Ranma, watch it," Akane warned him.
"It is my pig-tailed demoness!" Kuno declared in surprise. Ranma winced and glanced about to see if anybody had noticed the name Kuno had given her.
"You just can't remember can you?" Akane asked dryly, thinking Ranma had forgotten he was a woman again.
"How I have pined to see you!" Kuno declared, a decidely rosy scent drifting through the scene as he grabbed Ranma-chan's hands.
"Hold on here," Ranma snapped. "Don't you like Akane?"
"Of course I do," Kuno said.
"She's right here you know," Ranma noted angrily. They both turned to see Akane turned away from them. "Hey! Where're you going?"
"Please, Upperclassman Kuno," Akane said seriously. "If you really love this woman, I won't stand in your way." Ranma stared at Akane wide-eyed in shock, and then her eyes narrowed, enraged.
"Oh! Akane, Akane..." Kuno sighed piteously.
"AKANE!! What are you DOING!!?" Ranma demanded angrily.
"'I won't stand in your way,' so noble. so touching," Kuno said dramatically. "So sweet! Oh, Akane! How can I discard you? I love you BOTH!" Kuno lunged forward, into a fist and a foot from two enraged females. This was immediately followed by a pair of uppercuts that sent Kuno into the stratosphere.
"Well, we've said our peace," someone in the horde said.
"Give our congratulations to Ranma."
"When I...uh...see him," Akane said. She reached out to direct Ranma toward the court. "Su.."
"Don't touch me!" Ranma snapped, shrugging off Akane's hand and stalking off angrily. Akane blinked and then followed after her.
"Look, I'm sorry about the freak comment," Akane said catching up to her. "It was supposed to be a joke. Though you don't have any place complaining to me about that while you're calling me an orc."
"Fine, you're not an orc," Ranma said without stopping. "Just a berserk." Then the red head took a leap to one of the battlements. Akane watched her land, trying not to admit she was impressed, and tried to figure out what Ranma was mad about.
"What's that jerk's problem," Akane asked.
"I don't believe you just did that, Akane." The voice came from behind Akane and the battle-priestess turned to see Sayuri and Yuka walking up behind her. The two lady's in waiting seemed mildly angry.
"You of all people!" Yuka agreed with her friend. "Of course that girl is mad at you, I'd be too!"
"What are you talking about?" Akane asked. "What did I do?"
"You practically fed her to Kuno!" Sayuri snapped. "That's what!"
"H..She can handle Kuno, no problem," Akane replied, waving off the objection. If Ranma were female she might have considered it, but Ranma was a guy. Though she had to admit he acted otherwise sometimes.
"There's a principal involved here," Yuka said. "Didn't you see her face?"
"You might as well have kicked her through a wall or something," Sayuri nodded.
"You aren't saying she took that seriously?" Akane asked.
"You should apologize," Yuka suggested seriously. Sayuri nodded silently behind her.
"Fine, I'll apologize," Akane said, giving up. "Whatever." ~The jerk is probably just trying to make me feel guilty.~
"By the way, where is Ranma?" Sayuri asked.
"He's around," Akane said nervously.
Ranma glanced around nervously to see if anybody was around the baths. It would be a couple of hours before anybody showed up to use the magically heated baths, but it wouldn't do to have someone walk in on her. Satisfied that she was alone she temporarily shut off the trigger spell as she slipped into the warm water and sighed.
Washing was so much easier when there was less area to cover. She sighed comfortably and curled up in the hot water. It also felt a lot better to vent while she was female. Crying over things when she was a guy just tended to invite more problems.
"Just like Pop," Ranma said quietly. "Didn't even stop to think about it."
"This isn't a good way to keep a cover," an amused voice said as the water started to shift. Ranma frowned as the speaker dropped the illusion and Nabiki sat down across from her.
"How did you.."
"How did I know?" Nabiki asked. "How much are you willing to pay me?" Ranma narrowed her eyes and watched the Metallium cautiously.
"So what is this," Ranma asked. "Are you going to try to play the Game now?"
"I'm not interested in magical bindings," Nabiki said in response Ranma's reference to the Summoner's Game. "Much too unsubtle for my tastes. By the way, don't judge Akane too harshly, she thinks you're soul is completely male, remember?"
"And that makes selling me out okay?" Ranma demanded. "I ain't gonna do nothing to her if that's what you're worried about."
"No, I think its just time that you and I came to an arrangement," Nabiki smiled.
"Uhh," Ranma swallowed nervously. "I don't really....um...have...any..err.. experience, with...that."
"I'm not asking for sex, Ranma, just a favor now and again," Nabiki interrupted him. Ranma looked visibly relieved. "But did I understand properly that you are a VIRGINAL succubus?"
"I'm only half-succubus," Ranma insisted quietly as Nabiki erupted into loud laughter.
"Are you mad about me getting out of Kuno's way?" Akane asked, as she was walking home with Ranma later.
"You think?" Ranma asked dryly.
"It's not like you can't beat Kuno with both hands tied behind your back," Akane said in response, moderately angry that she wasn't that good. "And its not like you're really a woman."
"I guess that makes it all right then," Ranma said quietly.
"I'm sorry, okay?" Akane said irritably. "I didn't think you'd take it so seriously."
"Yeah, okay," Ranma said. ~You're entitled to one mistake at least, ain't like you dropped me in a pit of...~ Ranma shivered as he remembered that event.
"'Yeah, okay?' Look, I'm really apologizing here!" Akane insisted.
"I accept already," Ranma snapped turning to face her.
"Yeah right, that was heartfelt," Akane hmphed and rolled her eyes. The conversation paused as Master Tofu suddenly danced past them in the street along with his skeleton.
"Was that...?" Ranma started, then he turned to see Akane slump and then rush away without saying anything. "Hey! Akane!" Ranma caught up to her quickly and then found himself thrown into a wall, when he looked up she was gone.
Akane smashed the rocks in front of her and kneeled down quietly, not noticing the pig-tailed martial artist watching from behind her and around the corner. She sobbed once and let out her breath.
~She's crying, over that mage acting silly?~ Ranma thought. As he watched Akane stood up and walked to the estate wall and leaned against it.
~Can't let it hurt me,~ Akane sighed. She opened her eyes to see Ranma making a face at her. "What do you want?!" Akane demanded slamming him to the ground.
"Okay, you don't seem to depressed," Ranma said standing back up, and dusting himself off.
"You want me to believe that you were trying to cheer me up?" Akane demanded.
"What's so surprising about that?" Ranma asked. "Besides, I thought you'd be happy to see him again. What was with that mage anyway?"
"Master Tofu is already in love with someone," Akane said sadly. "He gets that way when he sees her."
"Oh, sorry," Ranma said. "Can't say I know what that's like, but sorry anyway."
~Why's he being so nice if he's still mad at me?~ Akane wondered. "Thanks for the sympathy anyway. Now are you still interested in cheering me up?"
"Ummm...why?" Ranma asked. Akane pointed toward the training hall.
Ranma walked into the guestroom to find his father studying a tome of some sort. Ranma leaned his head over as he approached the panda.
"What happened to your neck, Pop?" Ranma asked.
#The new job has unforeseen hazards,# the answering sign read.
"Whatever, I have to go out," Ranma said. "I'll be back later." The panda waved as Ranma left the room again.
Akane watched as Ranma left on another of his nightly walks, one of these times she was going to follow him and see what he did. Right now she was still to confused and annoyed by the day. She thought back to the cheap trick he had used to win their spar.
~Does he really think I'm cute when I smile?" Akane asked herself.