Marriage Wishes
A Ranma � - Oh! My Goddess! Crossover
By Thrythlind

**From the sick twisted and warped mind that brought
you, and is already righting another chapter of,
Family Trees....yet another spoof of typical clich�s*

Part 1: Introductions

Urd blinked a little dazedly, trying to decide
whether to be elated or depressed.  On the one hand,
the wish she had been told to grant had just given her
the go ahead to mettle in the "Love octagon from
hell."  On the other hand, the wish her subject, one
Nodoka Saotome, had made just gave her an almost
unreachable goal.

"Is something wrong, Urd?" Belldandy asked as she
noticed Urd staring into space again.  She'd been
doing that since she got back from her assignment.
She had been so proud that Urd was again allowed to go
on assignment, she hoped nothing had gone wrong.

"To quote the woman," Urd said, dazed.  "'I wish
you could all just get HAPPILY MARRIED to each
other.'"

"Ummm, oh dear," Belldandy said, she'd read the
file involved in the case Urd had gone on.  Just in
case there was trouble.  "Who were the 'all' she was
talking about?"

"Her kid," Urd lifted a finger, still staring into
space.  "His first fianc�e, his second fianc�e, his
Amazon bride, this rich girl in the neighborhood, and,
since he has a Jusenkyo curse that makes him a girl,
this other kid she think would be a good match if he
ever chose to stay a girl.  Oh...and the kicker..."

"There's more?" Belldandy said, sounding more than
a little shocked.

"Just before she made the wish," Urd said.  "'Oh,
Urd-sama, you're such a wonderful lady, you'd make
such a good match for my son.'"

"She called YOU a lady?" Skuld said, from where she
was eavesdropping.

"Yeah," Urd said.  "I almost had a heart attack when
she did that.  But then she made the wish and I had
bigger problems to worry about."

"Wait a minute," Keiichi said, joining the family
meeting.  "The wish was worded 'all of you'!?"

"Bingo!" Urd said.  "So...now...I have to find a
way for all of us to willing enter into a multiple
marriage that ALL of us will be happy with."  The
multiple part wasn't really bothering Urd that much.
It was the MARRIAGE part that was giving her fits of
hesitance.

"Wait," Skuld said.  "There are fail safes in the
system to avoid pushing such wishes on any one with
free will.  There has to be at least a remote chance
that..."  Skuld trailed off.

"Right," Urd said.  "And since the Ultimate Force
DIDN'T invalidate the wish..."

"There is a remote chance that all of you COULD
decided you want this," Belldandy finished.  "I am
sorry, Urd, I asked Peorth to find an assignment to
let you back into work gently.  She said she would try
to find one."

"Yeah, but did she say that she'd give it to me?"
Urd asked.

"Well, no I suppose she didn't," Belldandy said.

"Peorth," Keiichi and Skuld said simultaneously.
"Why am I not surprised."

Urd looked over toward them, it was scary the way
Skuld emulated Keiichi sometimes, usually when Urd was
suspected of something.  Skuld might not love Keiichi
as a potential boyfriend, something that Urd had been
nervous about at one point, but she was certainly
treating him as a brother, whether she knew it or not.

"Well," Belldandy said after a moment.  "Do you
need any help with this?"

"I....I'll tell you if I do," Urd said.  Then she
stood up with a sigh.  "I suppose the first thing to
do is to get a look at my betrotheds."

*******

Urd took a moment to acclimate herself to her new
location before looking around.  Teleportation always
tended to leave her a little disoriented.  Climbing
out of those TVs often proved difficult and painful.
She kept tripping and spilling herself over floors and
things, especially with these tiny TVs.

Next time she recycled herself she hoped she
recycled to a less dangerous method of travel.  Like
fire or lightning or something.

In any case, Urd's momentary distraction is why she
didn't realize where she was until it was too late.

"Well, goddess," a voice said.  Urd's eyes snapped
open as she looked around to see a pair of demons
eyeing her eagerly.  "Isn't this an interesting turn
of events?"

Urd beat down her worry quickly and placed a mask
of determination over her face.  She was only a second
class goddess, but it wasn't for lack of power as
Belldandy had said.  Still, two demons, demons she
could feel were quite powerful as well.

"Yes it is," Urd said.  "I didn't quite feel like
dealing with your ilk today.  A pity the doublet
system is still in place, or I'd remove the two of you
from the scheme of things right now."

She could do it, she thought, even if it wasn't
really her style.  She wanted to put on a little face
in case they got ideas though.

"Oh yes, the doublet system," one demon said.
"You're Urd aren't you?  Which makes your double Mara,
right?"

~Oh, that is such a not good thing to hear,~ Urd
said.  "What makes you say that?"  Urd quietly started
preparing a spell.

"Isn't Mara one step above us on the promotion
scale?" the one demon said.  "If she were to die who
would be promoted."

"Maybe the demons that helped rid Hell of such an
active thorn in its side while at the same time
removing an incompetent with sympathies for the enemy
from its employ," the other demon said.

"Easier said than done!" Urd shouted angrily.  "URD
BOLT!!!"

The power swung forward and blasted into the demons
knocking them back, and then Urd was running.  On even
terms she could beat them and kill them, but it would
be HARD work.  And if she expected to win she HAD to
outright kill them, and that wasn't something she
could do.

*******

"RANMA!!!  PREPARE TO DIE!!!" Ryouga shouted
swinging out with his umbrella.  Ranma casually dodged
under it.

"Is that the best you got, P-Chan?" Ranma demanded.

To the casual observer what was going on was an all
out fight to the death.  Of course, what the casual
observer couldn't know was that neither Ryouga nor
Ranma were fighting seriously.

Had they been fighting seriously then half the city
could have easily been leveled.  Which was why most of
the onlookers and passersby simply ignored the fight,
or else watched it for a moment.

"Good morning, boys," a woman said as she walked by
the park.  "Pleasant day out today."

"Hello Tanaka-san," Ryouga said before turning back
to Ranma.  "Stand still and take your pain like a
man!!"

"Oh be quiet P-Chan," Ranma said, rolling his eyes.
"Oh, Kasumi said she'd be over tonight ta babysit for
you Tanka-san."

"Oh good," the woman said.  "I wasn't certain what
I was going to do if she couldn't make it."

"Take me seriously damn it, Ranma!" Ryouga growled,
he came down with an axe kick that Ranma easily dodged
and then rolled to standing and stared for a moment
across the street.

"Hey, why'd you stop man?" Ranma asked as he came
up standing by Ryouga.  Ryouga glanced across the
street and then at Ranma and nodded in that direction
again.

"She's doing it again," Ryouga said, talking about
the woman with the glasses and sketch pad across the
street.

"Again?!" Ranma sighed.  "Man, what's she doing,
making a story about us to sell as a popular manga or
something?"

"Feh," Ryouga said.  "As if anyone would want to by
a manga about a boy who's a girl half the time.
What'll it be called?  Ranma-chan?"  Ranma twitched,
and Ryouga latched onto the unusual chance of finding
something that bugged Ranma.  "No...I got it.  Ranma
1/2, perfect!"

"RYOUGA!!!!" Ranma roared.  The continued fight was
forestalled by the ringing of a bell, which introduced
the Bicycle of Death as it landed on Ranma's head.

"Stop talking about creepy Sketch-Woman and take
Shampoo on date Airen!" Shampoo declared dragging her
pained husband to be from under her bike.

"Hey, I never said Takahashi-san was creepy," Ranma
muttered.

"RANMA!!" Ryouga growled.  "How DARE you cheat on
Akane with Shampoo!!!"

"Stupid pig-boy go marry Kitchen-Destroyer then,"
Shampoo said sticking out her tongue at Ryouga as she
continued to glomp Ranma.

"Ahhh, hell," Ranma groaned.

The explosion stopped anything the three had to
say.  Instantly the three of them were apart and in
battle stance as a white-haired woman came flying down
the street pursued by two dangerous looking men, also
flying.

The two men, dressed in dark clothes were firing
off blasts of crackling lightning at the white-haired
woman who blocked with what the martial artists
assumed was a shield formed out of ki.

The three martial artists, among the most powerful
of their age group, spared themselves a moment to try
and figure out what was going on, then they extended
their chi awareness.  Then they moved.

Ryouga and Ranma pulled into their respective
chi-drawing stances while Shampoo charged towards the
low-flying combatants.

Urd turned away from her pursuers at the sound of a
loud, feminine scream of challenge.  She was presented
with the sight of a purple haired girl charging
forward rather rapidly.

The girl had a healthy amount of chi, enough to
stand toe to toe with a minor god or demon.  Though
she had not nearly so much as the two boys behind her.
Urd nearly had another heart attack, wondering whether
these mortals were attacking her or the demons.

She pulled up short and in her confusion over what
to do she almost let herself get hit from the two
demons behind her.  Fortunately the charging girl had
tackled her out of the way.

Almost immediately the two boys released their chi
and green and yellow blasts flew across the scene to
smash into the unobservant demons.  Urd breathed in
relief as she came to the conclusion that the unlooked
for reinforcements were on her side.

"Shampoo show stupid flying men thing or two,"
Shampoo snapped starting to stand up.

"They're not men," Urd snapped and pulling the girl
down.  "They're demons, so just get the hell out and
let me deal with it."  ~Besides, if my time of freedom
is limited I should enjoy the moments like this I have
left.~

"How do that while you feeling up Shampoo?" Shampoo
asked dryly.

"Well," Urd said with a smirk, something in the
back of her name nagging her about the name Shampoo.
"I hadn't considered that."

Shampoo's eye arched as she slipped out of Urd's
grip and stood up to charge forward at the recovering
demons.  Ranma and Ryouga were quickly beside her and
the three martial artists didn't give their obviously
powerful time to totally recover.

Then Urd was standing up behind them, smirking
triumphantly.

"Well, well," she said.  "This is a turn of events.
I may not be able to kill you two without
repercussions, but mortals!  Now that's a different
story, isn't it?"

The demons backed off a moment after desperately
fighting to some breathing room from the three martial
artists.  All in all the first exchange between mortal
and demon had been a draw.

Though now that there were three mortals and a
powerful goddess to aid them without directly
attacking the demons and thus triggering the doublet
system.  Well the odds were decidedly against their
survival if they continued.

"Another time goddess," the demons said, taking to
the skies.

"Goddess?" Ryouga repeated as the demons fled.

"What the hell was that about?" Ranma demanded,
turning to the woman that had been getting chased.  He
urked as he got a look at Urd's outfit.

It hadn't been very modest to begin with, and after
being chased around by demons for fifteen minutes it
was now appropriate wear for a number of bars.

Urd noticed the look and glanced down to see her
ruined robes.  She shook her head in disgust.

"Of all the," she shook her head and then cast a
quick spell calling up her "bondage" outfit as some
had called what she was now wearing.

It seemed to be a perfectly normal outfit on first
glance, until one caught a look at all the little
leather straps and metal rings attached to those
straps.  Especially the collar.  Though overall, the
effect was cute rather than twisted.  She hadn't worn
the outfit for a while, not since Mara had split her
demon and goddess halves.

"Goddess?" Ryouga repeated, having not turned
around yet.

"Well," Urd said.  "Have I gotten to Nerima at
least?"

"Yes," Shampoo said.  "Now strange, pervert-woman
be off."

"Hey," Ranma snapped.  "She still hasn't explained
what that was about."

"Goddess?"

Then suddenly the three found themselves frozen as
Urd strode forward a small smirk on her face.

"Well, I sort of just happened by them on
accident," Urd explained to the frozen teens.
"Basically, they think if they kill me they'll get
promoted, standard politics in Hell really.  Now I
have some business to attend to in Nerima, but
first..." She walked around them and gave them each a
rather obvious leer.  "I feel like sowing some wild
oats, and you three deserve a reward."

"Ta, ta," Urd said walking away a few minutes
later.  Back behind her, three rather confused
teenagers sat trying to collect their breaths.  "I'm
sure we could have had a lot of fun together, but alas
not at the moment."

"She kiss good," Shampoo said, blinking, Urd had
already left.  Shampoo was still in shock and trying
to determine what her emotional reaction should be.
"Very weird woman."

"Man," Ranma said.  "At least it was just a kiss.
The last thing we need around her is another person
out to marry somebody."

Ryouga's mind was still blown out, he'd lost pretty
much all of his vocabulary in that one.

*******

"Okay," Urd said.  "Ucchan's, one of the fianc�es
should be here.  Really, how hard can it be to find
even one of these people in this little place?"

Yes, Urd had yet to connect the martial artists
she'd given those little "pecks" with the martial
artists she was supposed to be meeting.  Usually Urd's
mind works better than that, but she was a little
distracted at the moment.

Urd walked into restaurant and was greeted by the
sight of a waitress distributing okonomiyaki and a
young man cooking behind the grill.

"Welcome to Ucchan's," the young man said happily.
"What can I get you?"  Urd strode up to the counter
and watched the waitress.

"Oh, anything and sake," Urd said.

"Sorry," the young man said.  "I don't have a liquor
license, I'll get you a soda instead."  Urd sighed and
nodded her head in frustration.

"What do you find so interesting about Konatsu?" the
young man asked, suspiciously.

"Konatsu?" Urd said, when the young man nodded she
sighed irritably.  "Well scratch that, I was looking
for somebody else.  Guess she's not here."

"Who were you looking for?" the chef asked, and she
began to draw on her chi reserves.  Urd blinked for a
moment.

~Another one?!~ she said.  ~The last time there was
a concentration of mortal powers like this was at
Atlantis when they were building that Tower of Babel
or whatever.~

"Excuse me?" the young man said, being polite but
starting to get a little antsy.  "Didja here me?"

"Oh, no worries," Urd said.  "I'll catch her later."

"And who is this person, you're looking for?" the
young man asked again.

Then Urd decided to shut him up.  She stood up in a
blink almost too fast for the mortal to see and
suddenly planted her lips on the other's.  As she had
said before, if she was getting married, she was
sowing some oats first.  Even if they weren't very
deep oats.

The young man's eyes opened wide and stayed that
way as Urd pulled away smirking.  She glanced around
at the shocked people in the restaurant as her most
recent paramour seemed to wilt to the floor.

"Not your concern, cutie," Urd said, striding out
the door.  She was well gone and out of hearing range
by the time Konatsu broke through his shock.
"UKYOU-SAMA!!!"

*******

"Just what were those ditz's going on about?" Akane
demanded irritably as she walked down the street with
her friends.  They had just had an encounter with some
St. Hebereke girls that had been making some unusual
implications about the night Kodachi had tried to
ambush her.

"Oh come on, Akane," Sayuri said.  "You're telling
me that you haven't even once thought of that?"

"What are you talking about?" Akane demanded.

"Just what those ditzes were talking about," Yuka
said.  "You got to admit, your fianc�e isn't the
mostly manly out there in some aspects."

"He's macho enough as it is," Akane said irritably.

"You know," Sayuri said, teasing her friend a
little.  "That just might mean you like them butch."

"WHAT!?!" Akane shouted.

"Hey," Yuka said, smirking as she joined in.  "You
hang out with Ukyou a lot, don't you?"

"I do NOT want to sleep with Ucchan," Akane said.

"We never said anything about sleeping with her,"
Sayuri said.  "And Ucchan is it?"

"You think Ranma is rubbing off on her?" Yuka
asked.  Akane fumed speechlessly for a few seconds
before her friends burst out laughing.

"Oh come on," Sayuri said.  "We ALL know that you'd
be the last to do ANYTHING with ANYBODY."  Akane
frowned, both at the teasing and the last bit.  She
wasn't entirely certain that was a good thing.

"Whatever," Akane said.

"Really," Yuka said.  "You're too easy to tease
sometimes."

"Oh damn," Sayuri snapped, looking at her watch.
"Sorry, we got to go."

"Huh, what?" Yuka said.  "AHHH!! The book-signing."
She started running, but paused to turn to Akane.
"Are you coming?"

"No thanks," Akane said.  "I'm saving my money for
some Utena stuff happening next week."  Sayuri and
Yuka both smirked for a moment.

"There's that trend again," Sayuri said.  Then she
was off running.

"No wonder all those rumors follow you around,"
Yuka said, before she too took off running in a
combination of expectant panic and hysterical
laughter.

"Ha.  Ha." Akane said irritably crossing her arms.

"Don't let them bother you," a woman said.

Akane turned to find a white haired woman about
twenty-four maybe and wearing an outfit that fit
perfectly well within both kinky and kawaii.  She was
sitting on a park bench just to the side of the path.

"And what would you know about it?" Akane demanded.

"Well," Urd said.  "For one thing, they aren't
serious.  They were just looking to get a rise out of
you.  For another, it might mean that if do lean that
way that your friends won't instantly abandon you."

"I do NOT lean that way," Akane declared angrily.

"Have you ever heard the phrase," Urd started.
"The lady doth protest too much?"  Akane winced.

"It's just not...done," Akane said.

"On the contrary," Urd said, smirking.  "It's done
on an hourly basis."  Akane glared at her.  "On Earth,
in Hell..."

"Of course," Akane snapped at that.

"And in heaven," Urd finished, deepening her smirk.
Akane stared at her as if she had just committed
blasphemy.

"But that's..." Akane sputtered.

"I'll tell you what," Urd said.  "You can give
yourself a little test right now."

"What kind of a test," Akane asked suspiciously,
looking the woman up and down.

"A kiss," Urd said.  "Just a kiss."

"You want me," Akane said.  "To kiss...let me
guess, you?"

"Yes," Urd said.  "If you don't lean that way it
will be merely a strange and unpleasant memory, but
one that without a doubt proves you do not lean that
way.  There aren't many in the three planes that kiss
better than I do."

"There's no magic or anything involved here is
there?" Akane asked.

"The only thing that's going to happen is you're
going to look behind some of the barriers you've built
in you mind," Urd promised.  "I promise."  There was a
small roll of thunder coming out of the clear sky
above as if confirming what she had spoken.

"Just a kiss?" Akane confirmed, looking around to
make sure nobody was watching her.

"I have to find some people in this part of town,"
Urd said.  "No time for anything else.  I was just
taking a break here."  Akane blushed as an image came
unbidden to her mind.

"Umm, this means that you...?" Akane let her words
trail off.

"Oh, I'm AC/DC, dear," Urd said.  "Man, woman, as
long as it has a pulse, to die for looks, and an
entertaining personality.  I even know some spells to
shape change for a little more...variety if you know
what I mean.  But I hear I may be settling down soon."

"Err, what?" Akane asked.

"Nothing to concern you, this is just me doing a
little favor," Urd said.  "So what about that deal?"
Akane winced and looked back to where her friends had
vanished.  He brow furrowed and her fists clenched as
she began to look at this as a challenge.

~I am NOT a lesbian,~ Akane declared silently
before turning to Urd.  "All right, I'll do it!"

"That's the way," Urd said, smirking as she stood
up and strode seductively toward Akane.

She was tall, quite a bit taller than Akane
actually, and the woman had to look down into Akane's
determined face.

Akane tried hard to maintain her determination in
the face of the woman's soft hands sliding down to her
lower back before Urd leaned in and there lips met.

Akane's eyes flashed wide and as the embrace drew
out, and then she started to relax.  In fact, she
could feel herself swooning in the older woman's arms.
Then it was over and the woman carefully guided the
blue-haired girl to sit down on the bench where she
had been.

"Well, does that help?" Urd asked.  Akane silently
and slowly nodded her head.

"Hai," she said woodenly.  "Sumimasen."

"No problem," Urd said.  "Whatever conclusion you
come to girl.  It's your life not their's, got it?"

"Hai," Akane said woodenly.

"Okay," Urd said.  "Now I got to get back to work."

"Bai bai," Akane said waving and blinking.

*******

"And so I spent all day trying to find the five of
them," Urd said drunkenly to the girl next to her.
Just how the girl had gotten into the bar Urd neither
knew nor cared, but she was certainly too young to be
doing serious drinking.  "And all day nothing!
They're supposed to stick out like sore thumbs, but
all day nothing."

"Ah, Urd-san," her companion said, a slim
black-haired girl in a brown Catholic school uniform.
"How terrible for you.  I can completely sympathize.
Every time I go looking for my love I find nothing but
my rivals seeking to block me from my true love."

"Hmph," Urd said.  "You only have one guy to worry
about.  I'm supposed to find four girls and two guys,
AND get them to love each other and me, AND find a way
to get all of us married to each other legally.  I
mean, I've met five," she looked to her companion.
"Six people today I wouldn't mind spending an extended
amount of time with, but nobody with the right names."
She slammed down her fist.  "Tomorrow!  Tomorrow I'll
read that file straight through and get descriptions
and such!"

"A pity they aren't Amazons," Kodachi said,
slurring her words.  "I understand they have some
rather interesting laws."

"Actually," Urd said.  "One of them IS an Amazon,
but I really don't think they'd all want to live China
where we'd have to be for Amazon multiple marriages to
be accepted and allowed."

"Yes, but you would be married," Kodachi noted.
"And that should satisfy your honor on the subject of
the agreement's wordings."  She turned to order
another drink from the bartender.

"Then it would just be a matter of finding some way
around the courts in Japan," Urd realized.  "GIRL!
You are a GENIUS!  OH-HOHOHOHOHOHOH
OHOHOHOHOHOHO"

"Yes," the drunken girl said.  "I am that, aren't
I.  OH-HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!"

"Ha," the equally drunken goddess snapped.  "Now
just comes the hard part, have get us to all to fall
in love."

"Surely that can't be a problem for someone of your
obvious tastes," the girl indicated.

"You know," Urd said.  "You say the sweetest
things."

The bartender, meanwhile, wished that his boss had
never sold out to the Kuno family.

*******

"URD!!!!!!" Skuld shrieked as she looked on the
sight that greeted her as she was sent to bring Urd to
dinner.

"Owww," Urd said, grumbling awake.  "Quiet, squirt,
or I'll blow you back to the heavens."

"You're SUPPOSED To be betrothed you old hag!"
Skuld said.  "By a WISH!!!"  Urd winced as Skuld
continued shrieking.

"Keep it down, you'll wake..." Urd paused and tried
to remember if she had ever gotten the name of her
last companion the night before.  "...her."

"You don't even know her NAME!!!" Skuld shrieked.

"Brother-dear," the girl next to Urd complained as
she stirred.  "I am feeling 'ill' today, please take
your...wait a moment...just where am I?"  Urd and
Skuld watched as the girl creaked open an eye and
slowly sat up, covering herself with the bed sheet.

"Errr, good morning," Urd said.  The girl turned
even paler than she had been at the start as she
looked to the other person in the bed with her and
parts of last night began to filter into her brain.

"AH MEGUMISAMA!!!!" she screamed and practically
blazed out of the room.  She was gone before Skuld and
Urd could react.

"What did you do?" Skuld demanded.  "Seduce the
poor girl with one of your love potions?"  Urd racked
her mind for a moment.

"Actually," Urd said.  "I remember getting drunk
with her at the bar, and vaguely remembered the taxi,
but after that..."  She shrugged.

"Right," Skuld said disbelievingly.  "You're just a
big pervert, no way anybody is going to be interested
in marrying you.  Much less six people."

"Oh, did Kodachi-san leave already?" Belldandy
asked as she looked into the room cautiously.  Then
she glanced down at Skuld and gently scolded.  "I told
you not to go into her room, Imoto-chan.  Oh well, it
seems you didn't intrude on their privacy after all."

"You knew about this?" Skuld blinked.

"Oh yes," Belldandy said.  "Keiichi and I helped
them into the house last night.  They both fell asleep
right after reaching Urd's room.  I didn't think we
should move you after that, you looked so
comfortable."

"Uh, thanks Bell," Urd said.

"B...but..." Skuld sputtered.  "Isn't she supposed
to be getting herself married now or something.  It
isn't right to be messing around like that."

"Oh, but that's one of the girls she's supposed to
marry, Skuld," Belldandy said.  Skuld and Urd froze.

After a moment Skuld's face broke into a somewhat
silly grin as Urd look crestfallen.

"I spent all night with her and made NO move on
her?" Urd asked just as Skuld burst into giggles.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that," Bell said.  "Perhaps you
just don't remember."  Urd began to go over yesterday
in her mind, ignoring the hangover and her younger
sister as best as she could.

She had a sinking feeling as she turned to look at
the file.  As she looked over the file and called up
descriptions and graphics the sinking feeling grew.

"Urd, please stop banging your head on the desk,"
Belldandy said.  "Skuld, it's not nice to laugh at
Urd."

The middle sister sighed and shook her head as the
hangover combined with the desk eventually put her
sister back out, and Skuld almost suffocated on her
laughter.  This was going to be a long day.

********************************************

Part 2: Seven Omiais in One Day

*Warning: contrived coincidences will appear at almost
random*

"Okay," Urd said.  "First I 'rewarded' those three,
did you know that one of them is half-demon?  Wait of
course you knew, you probably read the file.  Anyway,
then I kissed the next one just to keep h..uh...her
from asking anymore questions.  Then came that other
girl I decided to help out a little with sexuality
issues..."

"Oh my," Belldandy said, blushing red.  Skuld and
Keiichi stared at Urd, blinking.

"And then I met Kodachi at the bar and got drunk,"
Urd said.   "Actually...she's half-demon too...strange
that there would be two unrelated half-demons in the
same place.   Then again, with all the mortal powers
there..."

"You made out with six different people," Keiichi
said, interrupting her.  "In one day?"

"And you didn't know they were the people you were
looking for?" Skuld asked, she really didn't know any
longer whether she could continue to be amused or
embarrassed about her sister.

"Well, I didn't have time for any REAL fun," Urd
said, producing a series of differing reactions from
the other three.  Belldandy blushed deeper, Keiichi
twitched and Skuld looked green.  "I had work to do
after all.   Hmmm, nice bunch though, I could
definitely stand to be around them for a while.  Kinda
glad it worked out that way."

"Hmmm," Belldandy said, calming herself down.
"Sounds like quite a lot of coincidences.  Meeting
them all like that and deciding you like them before
you knew who they were."

"Yeah, weird, huh?" Urd said, still concentrating
on the main problem.  As such she completely missed
the implication of the Ultimate Force being at work.

"How did you 'help' the one girl?" Skuld asked.

Urd turned to her and blinked, looking confused.

"The one with sexuality issues," Keiichi said.

"Ohhh! Her," Urd said, then she waved her hand a
little dismissively.  "Gave her one of my kisses with
a tiny spell on it."

"URD!" Belldandy gasped indignantly.

"Oh it was just a little spell," Urd said. "It's
just meant to release a little of what she's been
repressing."   She paused a moment and considered.

"The effect WILL be stronger proportional to how
repressed she is or was and how much she tries to
continue to repress anything.  And it'll reach its
peak by sunset and be worn off before sunrise.  Ten to
one she barely notices anything beyond a couple of
extra-vivid daydreams.  How repressed and stubborn
could she possibly be?"

*******

"I promise, she said," Akane muttered irritably.
"No magic, right."  She had apparently forgotten that
the exact wording of said promise.

This day was not turning out to be a good day.  She
sighed and tried not to catch sight of anybody while
waiting for the next boring instructor.  The lessons
were proving to be quite adequate distractions.

"Hey, Akane," somebody said.  Caught a little off
guard in her ruminations, Akane's habit took over and
she turned around to look towards the voice.

Instantly she saw Ranma looking at her with a rather
concerned look on his face.  "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Akane said dreamily. "Why do you ask?"

"You just look a little annoyed or something,"
Ranma said.

"Oh, I'm just a little distracted is all," Akane
said.   "Maybe...longing a little."

"Hey, maybe I can do something to help, you know?"
Ranma asked.

"Oh just get over here and kiss me already," Akane
said, still speaking as if half in a dream and very
happy.

"All right," Ranma said and then, in front of
everyone her handsome fianc�e swooped her up kissed
her passionately.  Holding her in his rough, strong,
yet gentle hands....

"Akane, you're scaring me," Ranma's voice said out
of nowhere.

Akane blinked and suddenly realized she was staring
at Ranma, who was still in his desk, with a rather
blank, almost drooling, expression.

"AARRRGGG!!" Akane roared and pulled her eyes away
from Ranma.   "I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING!"

"Okay," Ranma said wondering if he could inch away
from Akane a little further.  She was really acting
unstable today.   If she found out about that woman
yesterday he was in real trouble.

Ukyou walked back in from going to the restroom,
just missing that display, and sat down in her
customary spot.   Strangely enough she seemed just as
distracted as Akane about something.  She sighed and
turned to where Akane was investigating the ceiling
tiles.

"Akane can I talk to you alone for a moment?" Ukyou
asked.

"I'm not sure now is such a good time, Ukyou,"
>Akane said, still looking at the tiles and trying NOT
to imagine what Ukyou looked like.

"We got eight minutes yet," Ukyou said.  "This
won't take long, and it's important.  And I can't talk
to him about it..."

"Hey, what's wrong with me?" Ranma asked, Ukyou
produced a rather embarrassed look and turned back to
Akane.

"Err...fine," Akane said reluctantly.  "What do you
need to talk about?"

"Not here," Ukyou said, wondering why Akane wasn't
looking at anyone.  "Just...umm...let's go somewhere
more private."  Akane twitched, or maybe shivered.

"Err...lead the way," Akane said glancing around.

*******

After following Ukyou, and bumping into a few
things on the way by virtue of not watching where she
was going, Akane reached the girl's restroom with her
friend and rival.

"Akane," Ukyou said hesitantly.  "Could you look at
me?"

"Not a good idea," Akane said.

"Oh please," Ukyou said.  "I don't look THAT bad do
I?"

"What?" Akane snapped, surprised and whipped about
to look at Ukyou.  "What do you mean look bad?  You
look great."

"Yeah," Ukyou said.  "I'm cute, but do I look like
a cute guy, or a cute girl?"

"You're very beautiful, Ukyou," Akane said with a
smirk.   "Any boy would be a fool to not recognize your
beauty."

"Oh Akane, thank you," Ukyou said.  "But really how
can you be sure, you're not a boy."  Akane reached out
with a smile to grab the convenient bucket of
nannichuan water next to her.

"Well," Akane-otoko said rakishly.  "I can give you
some proof."  He leaned in and kissed the surprised
Ukyou passionately slowly guiding her down to the
floor and thankful that he thought to lock the door on
the way in.

"Oh, Akane-kun," Ukyou gasped. "Make me a woman!"

"My pleasure, Ucchan," Akane said, smirking
roguishly as he...

"Akane...why are you looking at me like?" Ukyou's
voice asked.

Akane blinked and shook out her head, quickly
coming back to reality.

Again.

"What...I mean," Akane stuttered. "ARRRGGG!!! I
told you this was a bad idea!" Then she was running
out of the room.

"Err..." Ukyou said.  "What was that about?"

*******

"What's wrong with you today?" Yuka asked as Akane
came back into the room looking out of breath.  Akane
didn't look at her as she felt her way back to her
desk.

"Nothing," Akane said.  "Nothing's wrong."

Behind her a very confused looking Ukyou came in
and sat down.   Then finally the teacher walked in.

Akane breathed a sigh of relief and turned to look
forward to the lecture space.  She almost choked for a
moment.

~Oh no,~ Akane thought.  ~I forgot about her?"

"Good morning class," the adult form Hinako said
coolly.   "I'll begin class in a moment, but
first...Tendo-san, can I see you in my office for a
moment."   Hinako-sensei produced a riding crop out of
nowhere...

*******

Shampoo paced about her room anxiously.  She didn't
know what to think about the events yesterday
afternoon.

That woman had felt her up and then had KISSED her.

In a village where woman outnumbered men five to one
this wasn't exactly unheard of, especially when they
shared a husband with a third (or fourth, or, rarely,
fifth) woman.   Still Shampoo hadn't quite expected her
to enjoy the sensation so thoroughly.

That fact had opened some...interesting
possibilities however.  For one thing, she was
beginning to work herself toward being tolerant of the
idea of sharing Ranma, though it rankled that warrior
such as herself would have to share.  On the other
hand...

Shampoo glanced to the two gallon plastic tub that
she sometimes carried her drinking water in when she
went to go train.  Cologne didn't even know she had
that.   At least Shampoo didn't think she knew.

Certainly Ryouga, Ranma and Mousse didn't know, or
they'd be clamoring over each other to get it.

The tub and its contents were her ace in the hole.

It was plenty of water to cure Ranma, his father,
Ryouga and even Mousse.  Shampoo was planning to
present it as a surprise gift when her husband finally
accepted her.   Barring that, she could always use it
as a bribe for all four of the males.

One way or another, Shampoo was beginning to think
that maybe it was time to use that water.  She frowned
and tapped her feet.  This was going to take a little
bit of thinking.

She snapped up the sealed tub and a wad of yen to
buy some sport drink on her way out.  Then she tramped
downstairs, ostensibly to enjoy her day off.

"Shampoo going to train," she called out on her way
through the main room.

"Wait Shampoo," Mousse said.  "I'll go with you to
he...owww!   What was that for you withered old
monkey?"   Cologne whacked Mousse a second time.

"Shampoo has the day off," Cologne said.  "You do
not, Mr. Part-Time, now get to  work."   She ignored
the grumbling boy as she turned to regard where her
granddaughter had vanished.  Shampoo was hiding
something from her, she only hoped it wouldn't be
anything too bad.

*******

There was one good thing about her assignment
though.   The cover story was VERY easy to make without
lying.   Judging by what she had seen in the file she
had finally read, the bounds of plausibility in this
neighborhood had been stretched beyond all
conceptions.

Urd figured she could tell them that she was the
space pirate daughter of a prime goddess here to marry
the boy that she had watched grow up through most of
his life after being imprisoned by his grandfather for
attacking their home planet.

"Naww..." Urd said as she knocked on the door.

"Who would believe that."

*******

Ryoko sneezed.

*******

"Hello, can I help you?" Kasumi said as she opened
the door.   The person on the other side, a tall,
tanned gaijin woman with interesting taste in clothes
backpedaled a couple of steps in surprise.  "Oh my,
did I startle you?"

"Errr, this is the Tendo Dojo, right?" the woman
asked.

"Why, yes it is," Kasumi said, blinking in
confusion at the woman and her behavior.

"I think I need to speak to a Soun Tendo and a
Genma Saotome..." Urd said, trying to decide if this
was Bell playing a joke or just a really strange
coincidence.   Kasumi blinked.

"Oh, certainly," she said, sounding vaguely
cautious now.   "Please, come right in."

"Thanks," Urd said, looking at Kasumi curiously.

"Father," Kasumi called out.  "You and Saotome-san
have visitors!"

"What is that Kasumi?" Soun asked as Kasumi led Urd
into the tea room.  As usual the two men were playing
shogi.

"I shall prepare some tea," Kasumi said. "Do try
to be polite."

"Is there something wrong with my daughter?" Soun
asked, noting Urd's confused look as Kasumi walked out
of the room.

"She's almost the spitting image of my sister," Urd
said faintly.   "Voice, personality...everything."

"You mean there are two such women in the world?"
Genma asked, blinking.

"Errr, back to business," Urd said turning back
around.

"What business is that?" Soun asked.

"Well, I find myself in a rather confusing and
difficult situation," Urd said.  "And this is just the
first place I have to stop by."

"What kind of confusing situation would that be?"

Soun asked.

"My father has an...interesting sense of humor,"
Urd said.   "I get the feeling he's trying to make a
point with this."

"Excuse me," Genma said.  "Who is your father?"

"I'm sorry," Urd said, dodging the question. "I
forgot to introduce myself.  I'm Urd Wodendottir."

It wasn't nearly an accurate name, the Norns were
all three older than Odin.  In fact, they had advised
him on his original rise to power, but it was a much
more obscure name than, say, "Godsdottir."

"Wodendottir," Soun said.  "Is that a name you are
familiar with?"

"Not I Tendo," Genma said.  Then they turned to
look at Urd.   "You wouldn't be..."

"I AM engaged to your children," Urd interrupted.

"Yes."   Genma and Soun irked then stood up roaring in
Urd's face.

"HOW did THAT happen?" they both roared.

"Well, let's see," Urd said calmly.  "First there
was this man that was a little lacking in money so he
sold my father this wedding contract with one Ranma
Saotome."

It was true, the man had swore that he'd burn the
thing in offering if he had a stroke of good luck, and
he had.

"And then this other guy from some side branch of
the Picolette family tossed his off on us after
hearing about the contract with another branch getting
nullified."

Also true, though the exact words as he destroyed
the paper had been "let God sort it out."

Urd produced the documents in question, however, as
she spoke.   There were notations to the effect that
they had been sold to the Wodendottir family.

"Well," Soun said.  "I'm sorry to say that I can't
provide you a husband.  I only have daughters."

"Not a problem, it actually makes it easier," Urd
said.   Suddenly they were speaking to a well-built,
roguishly handsome gaijin man, and the feminine robes
had become something just as stylish, but more suiting
a male.   "My family knows a lot about magic, and
well...two bodies...two identities...two marriages.

If it were just a matter of you two, this would be
comparatively easy."

Meanwhile, Genma had toned out as wheels started
rolling in his head.

"Bu...bu...bu..." Soun sputtered as Urd returned to
her natural form.

"Now, this was just a polite visit to inform you of
the situation," Urd said as Kasumi brought in tea.

"Here's the tea," Kasumi said.

"Oh, thanks, Belldandy," Urd said, she twitched.
"I'm sorry...Kasumi...you just look so much like my
sister."

"Yes, I heard," Kasumi says.  "Do you really mean
to marry one of us?"

"Well," Urd said, feeling uncomfortable at the idea
of any sort of relationship with the Belldandy
look-alike.   "Not you!   I mean...that just would
be...weird..."

"Oh," Kasumi said, obviously relieved.  "I suppose
marrying someone exactly like your sister would
be...odd."   Genma and Soun were still incapacitated in
differing manners.

"You could say that," Urd said drinking her tea
down quickly.   ~Must get away and beat head clear of
that image.~ "Now, I have to go find the other people
I have business with and then find a way to sort out
this mess."  ~Better to say it that way, if I say flat
out I mean to marry all of them...bwuhaha...yadda
yadda yadda.   Well...they'd probably toss me out of
the place.~

"Oh, what other people?" Kasumi asked.

"Umm, Ukyou Kuonji, Ryouga Hibiki, Kodachi Kuno
and..." Urd thought for a moment.  "Someone named
Shampoo."

"Oh dear," Kasumi said.  "You're engaged to all of
them?"

"I said this was a mess," Urd said, getting a
little more comfortable now that she was leaving the
building.   Well, next time she would be prepared for
that and wouldn't let it get to her.

"You're not staying to meet my sisters or Ranma?"
Kasumi asked.

"I'll be by later," Urd said upon leaving the
building.

*******

"Okay," Urd tapped her foot.  "Ukyou Kuonji, still
in school...Ryouga Hibiki...don't know where he
is...Kodachi Kuno," a grin spread across Urd's face.
"I'm saving her for tonight...and that just leaves
the..." Urd looked up at the Nekohanten sign and took
a deep breath before striding into the restaurant.
"Amazons."

"Yes," Mousse said irritably and then continued in
slow Japanese for the obvious Westerner.  "May I help
you?"

"Actually," Urd said.  "I was looking for a girl
named Shampoo."

"She's out for the moment," Cologne said, sensing
the power of the woman in her building.  ~She's more
powerful than son-in-law, more powerful than
me...quite a bit more.  And her chi...is not quite
like chi.~   "May I help you?"

"You're her great-grandmother, right?" Urd asked.
" Cologne I believe."

"That is me," Cologne said cautiously.   "How might
I help you?"

"Well," Urd said sitting down and lounging
comfortably.   "I believe that I'm engaged to her."

"WHAT!!!!" Mousse demanded.  Urd looked at him
funny for a moment.

"What's he complaining about?" Urd asked.
"Assuming he ever got her to look at him more than
sideways he'd get two girls instead of one."

"Mousse has objections to sharing," Cologne said.
"He is very Japanese that way.  And you seem to know
an awful lot about his situation and our ways.
Perhaps you could tell me who you are and how you came
to be engaged to my daughter?"

"My name is Urd Wodendottir," Urd said.  Cologne 's
eyebrow arched a little.  "And as to how I came by
this engagement.  Well, my father made a deal with her
mother."

Urd suddenly produced an intricately engraved
scroll case sealed shut to be almost seamless.
Cologne gasped on seeing that.

"The Raven's Message Case," Cologne gasped.  "That
artifact was lost long ago in a battle with demons
from hell."

"I don't really understand, why," Urd said. "All
it does is refuse to open until the person the message
inside is meant for tries to open.  It's not the most
impressive magic I've seen."

"No, that is true," Cologne said. ~A sorceress, I
see, that would explain the power, perhaps.~  "I was
merely impressed that you had it."

"I don't know the exact wording on the message
inside," Urd said, handing the scroll case over to
Cologne "It might not open for you."
Cologne nodded in understanding and examined the
canister for a moment before finding a small chink on
one end.   Before she could do more than notice that,
the chink had grown to a straight line crack and
continued through until the scroll case split open.

"It appears the author did include my name on the
message," Cologne said. She looked to Urd again and
examined her.   ~There is a touch of demon about her,
that must be what is different, she is a descendant of
demons, maybe a close descendant.  But she doesn't
feel as threatening as most half-demons do.  In fact,
not threatening at all, more...comfortable.  Curious.~

"Guess so," Urd said.  She began to stand up.

"Well, if you'll excuse me, I have other people I must
see."

"You are not planning to remain and meet my
granddaughter?" Cologne asked, confused.

"I met her once already," Urd said with a smirk.
"I didn't know who she was at the time, though, nice
girl.   In all the right ways."   Urd smirked as Mousse
blanched and sputtered trying to come up with a
response.   "Anyway, I still have to talk to three
people, I have to get all the notices out before I
work out how to fix the problems."

"Before you leave," Cologne said. "You have no
problems with marrying my granddaughter?"

"To tell you the truth," Urd said.  "I'm obligated
to marry about six people, that's the mess.  So I'll
have to see what I can work out.  Anyway, you're tribe
just might gain a powerful ally if this works out.

Too-do-loo!"   She twisted her hand and sashayed out
the door.

Cologne rolled open the scroll and almost face
faulted, despite being seated.  It wasn't everyday you
got a letter from someone that began this one did.

"Dear Grandmother, how are things since I died?

Things up here are wonderful, I spar with the
Valkyries everyday.  I'm going to try and get a spot
with them when the next tournament runs this year.

The rest of our family keeps asking me when I think
you'll finally be coming up to join us.  Most of THEM
are already Valkyries...well...except Perfume...you
just KNOW what she's like, and..."

"You know," Cologne muttered as she continued
reading the ranting letter.  "Letting Silk correspond
with that American girl was probably a bad idea."

Still, as Cologne read on, a broad smile began to
stretch over her face.  If this letter was the genuine
article, then that meant the bearing was much more
than a mere sorceress.  And if she was willing to a
marriage, it would certainly make the tribe much more
powerful indeed.

*******

~Schools almost over,~ Akane thought happily.
~Almost over.~

She was currently trying to get showered and
dressed after gym, without looking at anyone or
raising any more suspicion.  She had adopted the habit
of staring at the floor by now.

Gym had certainly been hell though.  Just thinking
about the boys running through their gymnastics class.
Or the girls in those tight...

"Hey, Akane," somebody said next to her. Akane
turned to see Yuka, and a number of half-naked girls
behind her, holding a portion of chocolate pudding in
it's sealed plastic container.  "I brought an extra
pudding today by accident, do you want it?  That lunch
actually stuffed me for once."

"Sure Yuka," Akane said cheerfully. "It would be
shame to waste it after all."
She reached to accept the pudding when suddenly
Yuka seemed to trip and the pudding container flew
through the air and landed on Akane's heading,
virtually exploding as a thick covering of chocolate
covered her naked body and quickly hardened.

"Oh no!" Yuka gasped.  "She'll suffocate in there,
we have to help her out."  She turned back to the
other girls in the locker room.

"Yeah," some girl said.  "And it would be a shame
to waste all that chocolate too."

"Guys," Akane tried to say nervously from inside
the chocolate, though the sound seemed unable to reach
outside the chocolate statues.  "What are you doing?"

Then the girls started swarming over her chocolate
encased form and eating and licking, and.
"Ohhh, stop that," Akane gasped as fingers and
tongues quickly began to work they way to her flesh.
"Sss...ohh..."

"Hey, you've got to try her breasts," some girl
said.   "Mmmm...Chocolate milk."

"Ahhh, honey covered cherries," somebody else said,
from quite a bit lower.

"Hey, I want a piece of her ass..."

"So are you going to take it or not?" Yuka asked,
getting nervous at the sudden pleasantly, smugly
blank look that had just passed over Akane's face.

"Sure, Yuka," Akane said dreamily, eyes finally
half focused on her.  "It would be a shame to waste
it, wouldn't it?"

"That's certainly right," Yuka said, placing the
pudding box in Akane's outstretched hand.  "See later,
Akane."   Then Yuka was walking away, not noticing the
vaguely disappointed look on Akane's face.

Thankfully for Akane, most people were gone when
she realized that she had just had a VERY weird
sex-dream, and then had actually hoped for it to
happen in real life.  The response she gave
was...vocal to say the least.

"ARRRRRGGGGHHH!!" Akane roared, before attempting
one of Ranma's maneuvers and banging her head into the
lockers.

Then she devoured the pudding and headed out the
door.

*******

"Why aren't you looking at me?" Ranma asked.

"No reason," Akane said, blushing as she walked
along.

"You've been acting weird all day," Ranma said.

"Nothing happened!!" Akane snapped desperately.

"Gee," Ranma said.  "You sound like me whenever I
get glomped or something."  Akane blushed deeper and
clenched her fists tight.  She'd have to LOOK at him
if she wanted to him, and see those beautiful deep
eyes staring back into hers as if they were a whole
universe lonely and apart seeking the perfect match in
a great...

"Ahh, behold," Kuno said as he sprang out in front
of them.   Akane's eyes twitched as Kuno ruined the
first tolerable fantasy she had had all day.  "The
beautiful Akane must be growing free of the spell
about her, for she cannot bear to look at your foul
visage, Saotome..."

"DRY UP AND DIE!!!" Akane growled, launching
forward and sending Kuno into LEO.

Ranma, frozen in mid sarcastic comment, sat there
and watched as Kuno dwindled to a shiny spot in the
distance.   Akane huffed angrily, grumbling and then
blinked.

"I wonder why I didn't fantasize about him?" Akane
said to herself.  The phrase broke Ranma out of his
rapt admiration of Kuno's flight.  The idiot was going
to land Shinjuku in looked like.

"Huh?" Ranma said.  "Fantasize about what?"

"About finally managing to send Kuno that far,"
Akane said quickly.  "Yeah.   That's right."

"Errr, okay," Ranma said.

*******

"I wonder just what was in that letter anyway?" Urd
wondered.
She was just realizing she probably should have
checked over the prospective Valkyrie's letter for
anything Urd didn't want out.  Such as the fact that
this letter was written yesterday rather than ten
years ago, before she died.

"It can't be too bad," Urd assured herself.  She
merely continued to lean against the building behind
her and waited for her next discussion to arrive.  She
wasn't particularly interested in being avoided,
however.   And to that effect she had placed an aura of
unnoticeably around herself.

Urd hated being unnoticed.

"First that weird woman yesterday," Ukyou muttered
as she walked down the sidewalk.  "Then Akane was
acting weird.   It was almost like she was day dreaming
about something.  Something's going on in this town.
I can smell it.   The weirdness factor just jumped
about twenty points..."

"Well, you could say that," Urd said, letting the
spell around her drop with a sigh of release.

"YOU!!" Ukyou snapped, turning to look at Urd
lounging next to her door not three feet away from
her.   "Where did YOU come from?   I should pound for
embarrassing me like that yesterday!  Half those
people think I'm sort of tomboy lesbian now!"

"Did you enjoy the kiss?" Urd asked.  Ukyou's anger
seemed to trip over it's own feet as she blushed
brightly.

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" Ukyou snapped.  "I
mean...errr...NOOO!"

"Right," Urd said.  "I understand perfectly.  If
it's any consolation, I DID think you were a guy when
I kissed you?"

"So that means your not..." Ukyou's voice trailed
off.

"Don't be so disappointed," Urd said.  Ukyou
started to bridle again.  "I go either way."   And
Ukyou flinched again.

"Are you going to hang around out here much
longer?" Ukyou asked.  "Because I'd rather not get a
reputation if I can help it."

"Actually," Urd said.  "There's the matter of an
engagement to discuss, and then I have to find
somebody else."

"An engagement?" Ukyou repeated blinking.

A few minutes later Ukyou was staring at Urd with a
rather annoyed expression.

"You mean to tell me," Ukyou said.  "That my father
engaged me to some girl after I renounced my
femininity and then stole the dowry and vanished into
the teeming millions of Japan .  And you're the girl
I'm engaged too?"

"Actually," Urd said.  "That family tracked your
records down and discovered that you were in fact
female and subsequently stuck my family with handling
it."

Again...it was all true.  Urd was really beginning
to want to hurt most of the parents of her intendeds.

Too bad she wasn't allowed too.

"Well," Ukyou said.  "Sorry to disappoint you,
sugar.   I hope you have luck in your search for the
perfect man."

"Heh," Urd said.  "Like I told Tendo and Saotome.
Gender doesn't matter."

The man in front of Ukyou where the woman had been
almost sent her into one of the fantasies Akane had
been plagued with all day.  She shook off the effect
and warily watched as Urd shifted back to her female
form.

"Besides," Urd said.  "The law still says you're a
man."

"I've already got a...wait a minute," Ukyou said.
"You talked to Soun and Genma?"

"That's right, 'Sugar'," Urd said teasingly. "You
ain't the only one I'm obliged to.  I'm just going
around telling everybody right now.  After that I'll
see about fixing the mess."

"Err," Ukyou said.  "Who else are you engaged to?"

"Ranma Saotome," Urd said, Ukyou rolled her eyes as
if that was a given.  "You, Akane Tendo, Shampoo
Daughter of Silk, Ryouga Hibiki, and Kodachi Kuno."

Ukyou had blanched upon hearing Shampoo's name, she
had gathered Akane would be there from the discussion
so far.   Then Ryouga was added and she almost had a
coronary.   By the time Kodachi was mentioned she
almost lost all higher brain function.

"Any favorites?" Ukyou asked faintly.  Urd smirked
and pecked her on the lips.

"I'll take the lot of you if I can find a way," she
said.   "But that's hard to imagine, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Ukyou said.  "That is."

*******

"Wait," Akane said.  "There's another fianc�e and
she wants both me and Ranma?"  The absurdity of it was
keeping her from imagining the situation.

"She is also engaged to Ukyou, Kodachi, Ryouga, and
Shampoo," Kasumi said.  "She didn't particularly say
that she wanted to go through with anything, just that
she was willing if she could work her way through the
mess."

"Wait," Ranma said.  "How is SHE engaged to four
girls and two guys?"  Akane's eyes started to fade
out, not that anybody noticed in the face of bigger
problems.

"Well, apparently she is capable of casting some
magic," Kasumi said.  Akane blinked and looked to
Kasumi, thankful that her sisters didn't trigger any
sort of fantasies.

"Magic?" Akane asked.  "Like changing into a guy?"

"Oh," Kasumi said.  "Yes.   She did that right in
front of us, without water like Ranma's curse."

"Was she tall," Akane asked dreamily.
"White-haired, dark, dark skin with a wonderful figure
and dressed in somewhat...risqu� clothes?"

"Uhh..." Kasumi said.  "Yes.   You've met her?"
Ranma looked to Akane and started to get scared again.

"Uh huh," Akane said dreamily.  "And she wants to
marry ALL of us?"

"Akane," Kasumi said.  "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," Akane said.  "I'm just a little tired is
all.   And umm..." she fumbled for a moment.   "I didn't
shower as well as I should have in gym.  I think I'm
going to go soak for a while in the furo.  A long
while..."

"She has just been TOO weird today," Nabiki said,
watching Akane head upstairs with a rather strange
grin on her face.

"Wait a minute!" Ranma gasped.  "I recognize that
description too!  That's the lady that kissed the
three of us when we saved her!"

"Would you mind repeating that Saotome?" Nabiki
asked.

*******

Urd stepped into the house hesitantly and glanced
about looking for any sign of residents.  This was the
only line she really had on Ryouga at the moment.
Granted she could find him through Yggdrasil, but she
really wanted to avoid popping out of a TV next to him
with this news.

Then she felt it, a small tear in the dimensional
fabric that indicated one of a number of types of
teleportation.   Suddenly Urd shared the house with two
other people.

The first was a red-haired (dyed red, the original
color seemed to be black) woman about thirty-five with
rather cute looking yellow horns sticking out of her
forehead.   She stood about five foot ten.   Her blood
red eyes blinked innocently several times as she
looked around the room and fiddled with the sword at
her side.   Over her chain mail armor was an incongruous
t-shirt from the Ruruoni Kenshin cartoon.  Her skin
was a dark tan that stretched the limits of Japanese
skin tone.

The man stood about the same height and only a
little broader than the woman.  His hair was black and
red tiger striped, and his cat like eyes sat over a
flat nose and a mouth with sharp canines.  He was
dressed more practically in rather well worn
traveling attire.  Quite similar to his son actually.

Almost as soon as they appeared in the world, both
enacted illusions of totally humanity.  Their inhuman
features quickly easing away.

"Are we in the right place this time, Jiro?" the
woman asked.   "And what's that tingling feeling I'm
getting."

"I think we're home, Aki, yeah," the man said
nervously.   "As for the tingling feeling, she's
standing behind you."

"Oro?" the woman said curiously, slowly turning
about and then backpedaling quickly.  "A GODDESS!?!
But..but...we're the good guys...aren't we?"

"Hmmm," Urd said.  "His parents are both
half-demon.   Let's see, you look like you're half-oni,
and he looks like he's half-rakshasha.  Am I right?
That explains why he looks so human, and the lost
problem. He must have inherited two conflicting ways
of sensing the world around him.  You know...I really
should read the case file over again."

"Excuse me," the woman said, getting a little
backbone suddenly.  "Are you talking about our son?"

"Well," Urd said.  "Yes, as a matter of fact I am."

"Listen, Goddess," the man said.  "We don't work
with Hell, damn it we've even been getting chased
half-way across the universe collecting random
assorted pieces of magical junk for you people.  Don't
take anything out on our son just because..." Urd rose
a hand to forestall him.  Both half-demons gulped.

"He's not in any trouble," Urd said.  "On the
contrary, I like him."

"Huh?" Aki asked, blinking.

"Put simply," Urd said.  "I'm here to formally
announce my intention to marry your son."

"What?" Jiro asked.  "A goddess wants to marry our
son?"

"Well," Urd said.  "Him and five other people.
Assuming he agrees of course."  At that the Long-Lost
Hibikis fainted.

*******

Getting the details straight to the Hibikis had
taken a little while, so, here she was, night falling
behind her, as she strode up to the Kuno mansion.

"May I help you?" the voice on the intercom, some
sort of servant.

"I'm hear to speak to Kodachi Kuno or her parents,"
Urd said.

"Her father's at the school and her mother's been
missing for ages," the servant said.

"How about her?" Kodachi asked.

"She's not seeing anyone today," the woman said.

"Just tell her that it turns out she's one of the
people I was looking for," Urd said.  "If she
remembers last night, she'll know what that means."

"I shall deliver the message," the servant said
hesitantly.   Urd rolled her eyes impatiently and
commenced waiting.  It was a few minutes before
Kodachi appeared at the gate herself.

"*I* am one of your betrotheds?" Kodachi said
curiously.

"Turns out," Urd said smirking.  "Oh, and my sister
says that nothing happened last night."

"Yes," Kodachi said.  "I'd come to that conclusion
myself, but I wasn't...you're honor rides on marrying
ME? and...who else?"

"Well," Urd said with a smirk.  "Why don't we talk
about that inside."~Besides, I don't want you blurting
out the full story, what you know of it, to everybody
just yet.~

"Of course," Kodachi said.  "It seems we have much
more to discuss than I previously assumed.  And this
is the wrong place to discuss such matters."  She
pushed a button and opened the gates.

"Nice spread you have here, Dachi," Urd said as she
walked in.

"My thanks, Urd-san," Kodachi said cautiously,
calculatingly.   "Perhaps we can even remedy yesterdays
lack."

"Hmmm," Urd said.  "You think like I do."

*****************************************

Part 3: Consummation

"Finally got here," Ryouga gasped, limping into the
post office and panting.  Night had fallen, but he
could still get into the public parts where the mail
boxes were kept, and he was certain that THIS time he
had the right post office.  He had even bothered to
read the sign before accosting some random passerby.

He still wished it was the Chicago post office box
that had received the package.  Chicago had great hot
dogs.

It had been a difficult journey since he had
checked on this mail box over the phone.  He had been
overjoyed and set out at once from...wherever he was.

First had been that strange demon that had tried to
"take his energy" or something just before he beat it
to a bloody pulp and walked away.  The youma was
crawling along trying to figure out what had happened
when the Sailor Senshi arrived in a highly confused
state.   They didn't bother to question the situation,
however, and after Sailor Moon had wiped the youma
out, they decided the easy, if mysterious, victory
with an ice cream party.

Next were the five odd people in multi-colored
jumpsuits with no discernable openings moving around
in exaggerated poses, martial arts or otherwise.
Ryouga had sort of walked through a collection of the
gel men that were fighting them and was leaving as
they started talking about a "mysterious bandanna-ed
ranger" and calling for something called "zords."

Then there was that island, and the brief encounter
with Godzilla.   Ryouga hoped that the big lizard
wouldn't get it in his mind to follow him to Tokyo
because of that.  He was certain that the creature
knew that shi shi hokodan was a complete accident,
really, it was.   (Godzilla, on the other hand, had
barely noticed and merely rolled over in his sleep)

Through it all he had run across his home once
(unfortunately his parents returned on "vacation") and
two of his other post office boxes that he had
scattered across Tokyo just in case.   It was amazing
how much Shinjuku looked like Kyoto though, or how
much Tomobiki looked like Osaka .  Then yesterday
fighting   Ranma and then those strange guys that were
chasing that woman that...

Ryouga clamped a hand over his nose as he
remembered the goddess kissing him.  A goddess had
kissed him, and Ranma, Shampoo, but that wasn't
important.   A GODDESS had kissed HIM.   Ryouga pinched
his nose closed a little more and remembered why he
was there.

Finally, after all this time, he would be free of
the pig.

All he had to do was find the PO Box.

After about an hour of searching Ryouga finally
managed to find the PO Box with the right number
inserted his key nervously.  The lock clicked and the
box opened revealing a small package.  Instantly the
package was torn open revealing a boxed canteen, and a
note, which Ryouga failed to notice.

"YES!!" he shouted, taking the canteen and opening
it.   "I'M FREEE!   HAHAHAHAHA...huh?" Ryouga blinked
as, in pouring the water over himself, he suddenly
found himself shorter, with a higher pitched voice,
and a slightly different center of gravity. "He"
knew...he just knew what had happened, but didn't want
to believe it.

Ryouga cinched his eyes closed tightly and tilted
his head down, then slowly cracked his eyes open to
see that SHE had indeed joined Ranma and Herb in the
ranks of the aquatransexuals.  Glancing to her
reflection in the window, she showed that she had
approximately the same build as Ranma and Herb's
female form, but quite a bit taller and stronger,
maybe.   He still had his fangs, though his hair was
now a deep, forest, green.

"WHAT THE HELL!?!" Ryouga demanded shrilly. She
turned back to the package and ripped through finding
the note and scanning over it.  "Dear Customer, we
regret to inform you that at the time we received your
request that the last reserves of our nannichuan HAD
ALREADY BEEN PURCHASED!?! by the Tendo Dojo and
SHAMPOO!!?!? of the Joketsuzoku.  We have refunded
your accounts the price of the nannichuan and instead
given you a free sample of nyannichuan!!!!! which,
fortunately, was one of the thirty-eight springs to
survive the events at Jusendo in which you played a
part and were thus presented with the gift of our
catalog.   At least in this way you will be spared the
spring of drowned pig curse and being a walking meal
anytime you get splashed with cold water.  Signed

Jusenkyo Products Incorporated Representative, Li Mau.

PS - Plum says 'Hi.'"

Ryouga fumed for several seconds, her mind
threatening to cease function for a little while until
one overriding fact was pointed out to her by her
somewhat frantically spinning mind.  She had known
about the Tendos' nannichuan, it had been partially
his fault in destroying after all.  It had been really
stupid to fight over it, considering that there was
enough for at least a couple of people.  Then again,
by the time Ryouga had gotten there, the fight had
already been taking place.  However...

"Shampoo has nannichuan," Ryouga realized, and then
she was off into the wilds again.  Well, off into the
street, which was pretty much the same thing to
Ryouga.   At least...eventually...it was the same
thing.

*******

"Why didn't I see it before?" Genma demanded
suddenly out loud.   It would have been a more
worry-causing event if it were not for something else
going on upstairs.

"Akane!! You've been in there for an hour and a
half!" Ranma said, knocking on the door.

"Akane please," Soun whined, trying not to cry,
trying not to think about crying, or rivers, or
waterfalls, or..."Akane as your father I ORDER you to
leave that room."

"We need to get in there Akane," Kasumi said
politely, if urgently.

"I'm uhh...almost done," Akane's voice said.

"You've been saying that this whole time!" Ranma
reminded her irritably.  "What are you doing in there
anyway?"   Ranma glanced around at the disbelieving
stares.   "I know, okay?   I'm not THAT stupid."

"I knew I should have shelled out for an extra
bathroom," Nabiki muttered angrily.  "Look, I'm
walking to the diner and using their's.  You all can
wait for Little Miss Hormonal if you want, I'm out of
here."

Nabiki started to turn away from her spot at the
head of the door, but her comment was suddenly
rewarded by an opening door.  The door revealed Akane
in a somewhat disheveled hurriedly put on school
uniform, somewhat breathless, hair out of place and
looking very red.

"WHO called me 'little Miss Hormonal?'" she
demanded.   Nabiki breezed past her, ignoring the
surprise expressions on other people's faces.

"One of the usual suspects," Nabiki.  "I'm sure you
can deal with it."  Then she was in the restroom and
shutting the door solidly behind her.

"NABIKI!!!" Kasumi said in an aghast tone as she
realized just what had happened.  From behind the door
the sound of Nabiki's relief was quite loud and
obvious.

"RANMA!!" Akane declared.

Ranma gulped and turned to look from the door to
Akane nervously.  And flinched back, presenting
warding symbols as that day-dreamy expression seemed
to be on her face by the time he turned to see her
face.

"Akane?" Ranma asked.

"Hai..." Akane said dreamily.

"Akane," Kasumi asked.  "Are you feeling okay?"

"Hmmm?" Akane asked, turning slowly toward her
sister for a moment and glancing back at Ranma and
sighing dramatically.  If the three of them weren't so
determined to be the next one into the bathroom,
they'd probably would have bolted by now.

"Akane, this is father," Soun said.  Akane blinked
and shook her head.  "Stop behaving so foolishly this
instant!"   She blinked a couple of more times then
turned bright red.

"Was I just..." Akane pointed to the bathroom and
gestured for a moment.  "OH KAMIIIIIiiiiiii," another
dreamy smile appeared on her face.  "Ranma you look so
cute when you get scared like that...."

"Uh, Ranma," Kasumi said, hesitantly, glancing
between the restroom and Akane.  "Perhaps you should
take Akane out to eat...yes that would be a good
idea."

"Err, yeah, I guess," Ranma said.

He was half-way down the block and splitting his
concentration between the distracted Akane and his
bladder when he realized just what Kasumi had pulled
on him.

"Good grief, she IS related to Nabiki," Ranma
muttered.   He had sometimes secretly believed that
Kasumi was adopted or something.

"Huh?" Akane said, shaking her head out again.

Unbeknownst to her, the spell was starting to fade
away now.   Not to mention that the spell did respond
in accordance with how much she remained repressed.
Other than that it didn't force any action, and
well...

Akane HAD just released about an hour and half's
worth of repressed desires.

"Were you talking about Kasumi?" Akane asked
narrowly.

"Errr...no," Ranma said nervously as they reached
the diner, and Ranma vanished into the restroom.

"What's his problem?" Akane asked vaguely, she
wandered to a seat and sat down to wait.

"Sorry, Akane," Ranma said.

"Hmmm," Akane said pleasantly, staring off into
space.

"Err," Ranma said.  "Has the waitress been by yet?"

"I think I want some cherries," Akane sighed.

"Uhhh...."   The mini-Urd that had been left behind
at the dojo laughed uproariously, if quietly as soon as
Akane mentioned wanting cherries.

~As soon as I pop into the main memory,~ the
mini-Urd thought.  ~I'm going to just love this girl.~

The mini-Urds watching the Nekohanten and Ryouga's
house had a much more boring time.  Though the one
watching Ukyou was certainly having a fun time
imagining the girl in other ways.

*******

Shampoo sighed as she walked across her camping
sight and secured the jug in its hiding place.  She
hadn't really found an answer for her dilemma yet.
Well, she had, she just wasn't certain how it would
turn out.

She wasn't going to go back home just yet.  No,
first, she'd saw how this turned out, and then she
would see about home.

*******

"So," Kodachi said.  "What is your plan, Urd-san?"

"So formal, Dachi?" Urd asked smirking.

"I do not want to go leaping into anything,"
Kodachi said.   "I have done that once already, and the
results were...unfavorable."

"I know about you chasing Ranma, honey," Urd said.
"If you remember, by goals end up with you getting
him.   Even if you have to share a little."

"Actually," Kodachi said.  "I was referring to
something at school."

"Really," Urd said leaning forward in her seat to
look over Kodachi appraisingly.  "Your all-girls
school?   No wonder you were so willing to come along
last night."

"One of the teachers, Urd-san," Kodachi said
pointedly.   "All the girls are too afraid of me.  As
for why I 'came along' last night, I must say it was
that kiss as I was putting you in the taxi."  Kodachi
blushed.   "It felt like I be...it felt exquisite."

"Thanks, I try," Urd said, as she desperately tried
to remember the kiss.  "So what is this problem with
your teacher now?"

"To make a long story short, he tried to blackmail
me, and then suddenly turned ill and had to leave
school for medical reasons," Kodachi smiled deviously
as she said that.  Until she noticed that Urd was
frowning now.   "Is something wrong, Urd-san?"

"Did one of your parents abandon you, Dachi?" Urd
asked.   Kodachi flinched and frowned deeply.   "I'll
take that as a yes." ~Her demon parent was a greater
demon....not just one of the demon races like Ryouga's
parents.   This opened up a big can of worms.~

"Why, pray tell, do you ask such a question?"
Kodachi demanded.

~What, did Peorth send down an abridged version of
this case-file?~ Urd asked herself.  ~Probably
something in it she didn't want me to see before
taking this assignment.~

*******

"So Urd was in the area," one of three red-eyed
demonesses said.  "She is one Norn, we are all three
Furies."   Her two sisters nodded in confirmation.   As
greater demons, those demons that had been gods and
goddesses before the Morninglord cursed them all in
spite at their failure to overcome heaven, they had
long ago dropped most of the inhuman traits that
marked them as such, though the blood filled eyes
remained.

"Tisiphone is correct," another demoness said.
They were virtually identical except that they seemed
of differing ages.  "She was probably just passing
through anyway, Aitvaras."

"It is coming to a delicate point," one of the two
male demons in the room said.  He too, had overtime
dropped his black cat image in favor of the humanity
many greater demons imitated.  "And I'll have you
know, Megaera, that your little charge helped defend
her."

"You're not even going to mention that both of your
charges SAW you and FOUGHT you," another demoness
shouted angrily.  "Are you?   You're just lucky that
Urd doesn't pay much attention to things."

"Alecto, are you perhaps...angry about something?"
the other demon asked the Fury of Unceasing Anger.

"Bite me, Ays," the woman said.  "If it weren't for
you and that cat I could have had the girl married by
now..."

"And then killed by my charge, of course," Megaera,
the Jealous One, agreed.

"I still want mine to kill her after that,"
Tisiphone said.   She was the Avenger of Murder, an odd
title for a demon really, until one considered that
she usually inspired the murder in the first place.
"But no, you have to get dramatic have her commit
suicide...or whatever these Japanese call it."

Megaera narrowed her eyes and glared at her sister.
They worked well together, like their equivalents
among the gods, the Norns.  In the short run they
worked together even better than the Norns,
considering the greater amount of free rein and power
they had being all first class.  In the long-term,
however, their bickering usually got the better of
them.

"Stow it, sis," Magaera grumbled.  "I want maximum
shock value for her father when he learns his wish got
his baby girl killed."

"And leave me alone," Ays snapped.  "I'd have been
over and done with this simple vengeance wish if
Aitvaras and you three would stay out of my way!"

"I need Ranma Saotome to become the greatest
martial artist of his time first," Aitvaras said
coolly.   "The greatest of a short, hellish, span of
time, that is."

"And I need him to marry Akane!" Alecto snapped
angrily.

"What about them!" Ays demanded, pointing at
Tisiphone and Megaera.  "By her laws, she's already
married to him and it's not working out.  And you only
need to Kuonji to 'settle' with him!"

"Until Shampoo's life is exiled shadow of her
former self," Tisiphone said.  "I have NOT completed
my wish.   She needs to have her life cast on the
rocks, not merely hit a bumpy patch in the water."

"And HOW can Ukyou 'settle' with the Saotomes if
they're dead?" Megaera asked.

"ENOUGH!" Aitvaras snapped angrily.  "WE'VE BEEN
THROUGH THIS ALL BEFORE!!!  We HAVE a plan that
settles EVERYBODY'S situation."  He paused, took a
deep breath and continued in a calmer tone.  "Ranma
Saotome becomes the greatest martial artist of his
time, fulfilling Genma Saotome's wish. He gets married
to Akane.   After a short, bitter honeymoon, Shampoo
tries to kill Akane and is left a crippled shell of
her former glory.  She ends up shunned by her entire
tribe including that idiot Mousse, and is eventually
drawn into an abusive relationship with that Kuno boy,
and finally gets killed by his sister, after she
insures that our side gets another generation of Kunos
to torment.   Ryouga learns a technique, provided by
Ays, of course, to impart his oni-strength,
rakshasha-berserker rage, and his own depression into
somebody else and targets Ukyou with it.  Ukyou under
the effect of this technique flies into a rage and
kills Ranma and Akane then kills herself.  Caught
bemoaning causing the death of the two girls, after
finally getting his vengeance in this indirect way,
Ryouga is killed by Soun Tendo.  He and Genma blame
each other for this whole debacle and fight a battle
that ends in both their deaths.  Mr. Kuonji, excuse
me, Kuonji-san, learns of his daughter's death and
commits suicide as well.  Shampoo's grandmother,
Lotion, is already dead and in Hell since SHE actually
contacted US, so we don't have to worry about her.

Does ANY of this sound FAMILIAR?!"

"Aitvaras," Megaera said coolly.  "Allow me to
remind you that you and Ays are both second class
demons?"

"While you three are first class," Aitvaras said
with a catty grin.  "Yes, I know, but we need to get
back on the problem, not continue this tripping over
each other's feet like we have been doing."

"Why don't we just kill Mara and get rid of Urd
that way, just in case?" Alecto asked.  Her sisters
thwacked her on the back of the head.

"If the doublet system was triggered by
infighting," Tisiphone said.  "There'd be a lot fewer
old gods running around."

"Out of curiosity," Ays said.  "Where is Mara?
She has a wish on the line in Nerima too, doesn't
she?"

"Do you remember the nature of that wish," Megaera
asked.

"Oh right," Ays said, smirking.  "I forgot."

"Urd is one goddess," Megaera said.  "And she is
most likely here on a lark.  She almost definitely
doesn't have the Ultimate Force behind her. And even
if she does, it'll only apply to one or two of us.
There is no way heaven can produce one wish to counter
ALL of our wishes."

"Tisiphone," Alecto said.  "Isn't that your girl
going by right now?"  The demons looked out the
storefront to see Shampoo walk buy carrying a jug that
reeked of magic to their senses.

"Nannichuan," Tisiphone said.  "What does she plan
to do with that?"

*******

"My mother sort of did the same thing to me," Urd
said.   "She took up with my father's enemies, tried to
drag me into the mess to.  If it weren't for my
half-sisters I'd probably be...something you wouldn't
like very much."

"I see," Kodachi said, she looked down sounding
sad.   "My mother left us when I was six.   I can still
remember her just leaving and saying she'd never be
back again."  Urd walked over to comfort Kodachi
gently hugging the smaller girl.

"Everything will be alright," Urd whispered.
Kodachi nodded and hugged the white-haired woman back.
She pulled back and took a steadying breath.

"That, I suppose, is enough of the sad truth,"
Kodachi said.   "Now, back to your plan."

"Ahh, yes, back to business," Urd said reluctantly.
She was really looking forward to the "lack" Kodachi
had mentioned earlier.  "Well, first I have to get
Ranma to consummate his marriage with Shampoo.
Absolutely first."  Kodachi twitched.

"Why so?" Kodachi asked dangerously.

"Because that makes him an Amazon," Urd said.
"Amazons men can have multiple wives.  Ranma would
still be able honor bound by their laws to obey an
engagements his mother supports.  And his mother
clearly supports engagements with four other women."

"And of course Ranma-darling is much too honorable
to simply ignore that," Kodachi agreed.  She was sort
of right   "Very clever."

"Yeah," Urd said uncertainly.  "That's what I'm
hoping."

"It doesn't get you Ryouga, however," Kodachi said.

"I assume that I could marry him within the laws of
Japan to bring him into the deal," Urd said.   "If
accepts me that is.  Or Ranma could."

"Excuse me," Kodachi said.  "Not understanding the
last part."

"You know," Urd said.  "Ranma's curse, the one that
turns him into a girl that I have yet to see in the
flesh.   Redhead, bursting with...HEALTHY...energy."

"That.   Harridan." Kodachi said slowly.   "Is
Ranma-darling?"

"Yes," Urd said.  "One of the first things I'm
going to have to do is teach him how to control that
curse.   Could be useful though."   Kodachi was staring
at her blinking.  "Like I told his and Akane's
parents.   Two bodies, two identities, two marriages.

If I marry him and we both marry somebody else.  Well
that's four of us right there worked around the
Japanese laws."

"Excuse me," Kodachi said.  "You have such a
curse?"

"Nope," Urd said.  "Jusenkyo can't touch me, but I
do know some spells to change my shape."  Kodachi
blinked and acquired a calculating expression.

"Can these spells be taught?" she asked.  Urd
blinked and then slowly a wide grin began to split her
face.

"Why, Dachi," she said.  "Whatever are you thinking
to do to poor little me?"  A similar grin broke over
Kodachi's face.

*******

"Why am I here?" Mara wondered.  "I should be
breaking up Keiichi and Belldandy, not 'checking up'
on my children."  Children.   Who needed children.

She hated these assignments.   She hated the wasted
time of having to sit around and wait until the kid
was old enough for a sudden abandonment to scar them.

She hated being required to go back and make sure
kid or kids were doing appropriately well.  Which is
to say, terribly.

She hated the long wait for their demon-blood
combined with their anguish to send them spiraling
along the path of evil and self-destruction.

She hated having to wait for the jerks that wished
her into the place get theirs for basically turning
her into a bed slave for a few years.  THIS particular
jerk hadn't even needed to be approached and tricked
into ruining his life.  The moron had contacted them
and sold his soul for a wife and children.

She absolutely hated it when her children ended up
in Hell, being tortured and cursing her name whenever
they happened to see her.  The best thing about those
few kids that broke the pattern and ended up in heaven
was that she didn't have to deal with the annoyance of
them blaming her for the rest of eternity.

Which was why it didn't faze her at all when she
heard the sounds of heavy breathing coming from
somewhere in the Kuno mansion as she padded about
invisibly.

She'd seen Tatewaki passed out in his room,
predictably drooling over some women that she was
certain he'd end up trying to rape and kill
eventually.   It was probably how he'd end up dying and
going to Hell to annoy her with the rest of his
brothers and sisters.

"Why can't they all be like Merlin?" Mara wondered.
"That self-righteous kid earned himself godhood and
stayed out of my hair."

She felt the divine aura easily enough and frowned.
Distracted as the god or goddess was, it was easy to
pick up.   Mara extended a more completely cloaking
field about herself as she approached Kodachi's room.

She opened the door, listening to the sound of a
man and woman in the extreme throws of passion.  Then
she looked to identify the god that was involving
himself in HER contract.

It didn't take long for Mara to identify the "man"
as Kodachi herself under the effect of a self-cast
spell.

Mara blinked in complete surprise for a moment,
trying to remember when Kodachi had learned magic.
Certainly being half-greater demon would allow her to
virtually gobble magical knowledge up, but where did
she...

Mara's eyes narrowed in outright rage as she
identified the goddess her dau...err...son was
currently bedding.  She quickly retreated before her
rage got the better of her and she revealed herself to
Kodachi.

She would deal with Urd later.

*******

Shampoo watched Ranma and Akane go into the Tendo
Dojo and sighed.  She really wasn't certain just what
she planned to do yet.  Whatever it was, she was
certain it would involve the nannichuan.  Shampoo
walked up to the door, feeling very uneasy and
nervous.   She was completely unaware of the horde of
demons hanging about her invisible.

The mini-urd on the wall of the gate, however,
looked quite shocked and nervous.  She hid next to the
gate and watched, wishing she had a way to quickly
contact her greater part.

"I got it!" Tisiphone said suddenly.  She moved up
to Shampoo's side and started whispering in her ear.
"Throw it on the Tendo girl and her sisters!"

"WHAT?!" Alecto raged.  "You can't do that NOW!!  I
need them married!"

"I want out of this job little sister," Tisiphone
said.   "Get them married by yourself."

"Don't throw it on them unless you want Ranma to
turn you inside out you little cat in heat," Alecto
yelled to the evil smiling Shampoo who suddenly
stopped and blinked, looking discouraged.

"HEY!" Tisiphone growled and approached her younger
sister angrily.   Alecto approached as well, aware that
in a direct confrontation she would be superior to
Tisiphone.   "Fine! Bribe him with it to marry you."

"Akane will still be a problem," Alecto snapped to
the now even more frustrated Shampoo.  Ays, Aitvaras
and Megaera watched with half-lidded eyes, until Ays
considered something.

"Yes, toss the water on the girls!" he said. "If
you can't have him, no one can!"  Shampoo smiled evilly
again.   ~Cursing the Tendos will really get Ryouga's
blood going.~

"You want to end up an exile for cursing innocent
women?" Alecto demanded.

~I wonder if I'll do more damage by not
interfering,~ the mini-Urd wondered with a sweat drop
as the demon's argued.  ~The invisible whisper in the
ear thing doesn't work with so many people I guess.~

"Get Ukyou first!" Tisiphone shouted suddenly.

"Now wait a minute!" Megaera shouted stepping into
the fight, not really knowing what Ukyou's response to
being cursed would be.  Considering how cool she
thought Ranma's curse was she'd consider it a good
thing.   "That's MY wish you're messing with.  DON'T
touch Ukyou mortal!" Shampoo blinked.

"Since when Shampoo call Shampoo 'mortal' in
Shampoo thoughts?" the Amazon asked in a painful
display of her lack of Japanese.

"Now look at what you've done!" Tisiphone shouted.
"She'll be getting suspicious now!"

"As if she wasn't suspicious before," Aitvaras
asked.   Meanwhile Shampoo looked to her jug and opened
the top to check the water.  Which was when something
slammed into her from behind.

The jug went flying into the air sending a cascade
of water out of it.  Shampoo, heedless of the danger,
gasped and raced to catch the jug and collect as much
of the water as she could before it hit the ground and
turned useless.

"Oh, sorry," the green-haired girl said as she ran
past Shampoo.

Shampoo breathed a sigh of relief as it became
apparent that enough water had been saved for two more
uses.   The jug was set down on the sidewalk and
Shampoo breathed a sigh of relief.

The Amazon had not yet noticed a certain lack, and
a certain gain.

*******

"I am not a pervert!" Akane shouted.

"I never said you were, Akane," Ranma said. "Man,
just next time take care of your business in the
middle of the night so it doesn't get in anybody's
way, you know?"

"RANMA!!!!" Akane roared, and suddenly Ranma was
flying via air Akane.

*******

Only Aitvaras wasn't distracted enough to notice a
now male Shampoo fleeing the scene and following the
form of an air bound martial artist.  A small secret
grin spread across his face as he left his comrades
invisibly wrestling in the street.

He didn't notice the mini-Urd following him.
Nobody noticed the jug of nannichuan left behind
outside the Tendo Dojo gate.

*******

"Stupid Tomboy," Ranma muttered as she climbed out
of the canal.   "Why'd Nabiki have to make ME ask her
THAT anyway.   Probably because I can take a hit better
than she can."  Still, Akane had been a lot less
violent today, if rather disturbing at times.

"Airen?" Shampoo said.  Ranma looked up to see
someone vaguely similar to Mousse, except he had blue
hair, no glasses and was wearing one an ill-fitting
pantsuit.   For the first time Shampoo noticed his
voice change.   "Aiya! Am man!!"

"Shampoo?" Ranma asked.  "What happened to you?"

Aitvaras snickered as he considered the number of
secret techniques this would provide Ranma, and how
much quicker he could make him the greatest martial
artist he had to be.  He leaned forward and whispered
in Shampoo's ear.

"Pressure points," Aitvaras said, smirking as he
backed away from Shampoo.  And if this screwed over
Alecto and Tisiphone, oh well.  They could still
salvage the situation if they worked hard.

~Pressure points,~ Shampoo thought speculatively.
~But arousal pressure points don't work, Ranma always
gets frightened at the moment of truth and the
pressure points fail.  All my glomps have proven this.
But...he's a woman now...the childbirth points...~

Shampoo had thought of this before but didn't know
what the laws on same sex pairings was when it came to
Jusenkyo.   His Great-Grandmother had provided his with
a book on the Jusenkyo by-laws, but he had always had
better things to do with his time.

"Is long story, Airen," Shampoo said wearily as
Ranma moved forward.  "Was try to bring you cure and
green-haired girl knock Shampoo over and..." he
shrugged demonstratively.

"There was more nannichuan?" Ranma said weakly
moving up to Shampoo.   "And you were bringing it to
me?"   Shampoo nodded weakly.   "Oh man, sorry,
Shampoo."

Suddenly Shampoo was hugging Ranma in a display of
raw emotion.   Ranma uncertainly leaned up to comfort
as the neo-man gripped her tightly.  Ranma was
familiar with the sensation that followed.

Suddenly she was thinking about how handsome
Shampoo was now, how comfortable it was to be held by
him, and other such things.  Normally thoughts about
Akane or Ukyou, or even the actual act itself would
rise up by this point and squelch those emotions quite
thoroughly.

This time, however, she felt a distinct lack of
fear, and doubt.  She had a sense of certainty that
everything was going to be all right and that what was
happening was what she wanted.  No thoughts to disturb
her from her perception arose as she leaned up to kiss
Shampoo.   She knew, however, she knew that it was a
series of pressure points doing this to her.

Aitvaras smiled and walked off as things started
getting heavy.   It was time to plant the thought of
checking the canal in the mind of the girl's elder.

As soon as he was gone the mini-Urd huffed a sigh
of relief.   She had truly thought the demon would hang
around to watch.  She quickly floated up to Shampoo's
ear and applied the same whispering technique herself.

"You're raping him and he knows it!" Urd said.
"Stop it now!"  Shampoo gasped and pulled back away
from the rapidly progressing embrace.

"No," Shampoo said.  "No can do this way, is
wrong!"

Ranma, the part of Ranma's mind that was filing
this for later, noted that down.  However, at the
moment she WANTED Shampoo, she had NO second thoughts
about the wanting, she had NO doubts, she had NO
fears.   And, after so many of Shampoo's glomps, she
knew those pressure points too.

"Then make us both wrong," Ranma whispered as she
applied the Amazon glomp herself.  "Maybe I'll care
later, but not right now."  Shampoo didn't resist
long, having never trained to resist the points to
target the male emotions.

"Aiya," Shampoo said softly. "Airen..."

"That's as good as I can do," the mini-Urd said as
it left to go meet it's greater self and share it's
memories.

*******

"Ranma," Shampoo said hesitantly as he woke up and
noticed that the redhead was glaring at him from a few
feet away.   Ranma had gotten dressed it seemed.
"I...sorry."

"Feh," Ranma muttered.  "At least you tried to stop
it...even if it was too late.  What did you do to me?"

"Childbirth pressure points," Shampoo said
ashamedly.   "Is for comforting womans giving birth,
take away fear and worry.  I know you hate Shampoo."

"I'm pissed as hell," Ranma shouted.  Then she
calmed down.   "And I'm staying that way for a while,
but I suppose I don't hate ya.  After all, I'm the one
that got your points so we both screwed each other in
more ways than one."  Ranma did indeed see it that
way, she didn't even care that she was not in her
right mind at the time.  "Get dressed Shampoo."

"My," a voice said dryly.  "This is a rather
interesting development."  Ranma and Shampoo turned to
see Cologne standing there looking at them with a
tired expression.  "You obviously never read the
Jusenkyo by laws Shampoo, or else you were more
desperate than I thought."

"Great-Grandmother?" Shampoo asked confused.

"I'll bet you put her up to this," Ranma said
irritably.

"I'm afraid not, Daughter-in-law," Cologne said.
"And this is not to the style of the being that is
your new fianc�e."

"Huh," Ranma asked, ignoring the change of
reference.   "What does she have to do with this?"

"Right now I'll only say that there were probably
demons at work," Cologne said, she turned to Shampoo.
"Grandson, I believe your wife told you to get
dressed."

"Great-Grandmother," Shampoo said, confused.  "Why
you call me Grandson?  I am your granddaughter."

"If you had read the by laws as I instructed,
Shampoo," Cologne said. "You would realize that by
consummating the marriage in this manner that you are
now legally man and the husband."

"But..." Shampoo said.

"Uhh, what?" Ranma asked.

"Yes, Shampoo," Cologne said.  "RANMA is now my
heir and the head of your household."  Shampoo blinked
for a moment and then fainted.  "Ah, already acting
like a man."  Cologne said with a small sarcastic
smirk.

*******

Akane frowned as she noticed that Ranma was still
not back and stomped off on her way to school.  She
stopped, noticing a plastic jug just outside her home.
Picking it up she realized it had some liquid in it.

"Be good for a quick cold shower just in case I see
more things," Akane muttered, picking it up and
carrying it along.

*******

"At least Ranma's an Amazon now," Urd said bitterly
as she walked down the path after bidding Kodachi a
VERY fond and temporary farewell.  "I'll have to see
if I can fix the damage."

Suddenly she was grabbed and slammed against the
wall.

"I don't care if I die in taking you out, NORN,"
Mara growled.

~Shit, she's pissed,~ Urd thought, trying to take
in breath past Mara's hand.  ~She doesn't call me
'Norn' unless she's really mad about something.~

"If don't have a DAMN good excuse for fucking my
baby," she growled.  "I am going to TEAR your throat
out HERE and NOW and we'll BOTH fade cease to be!"

~Shit,~ Urd thought, the thought even a very tiny voice.

*****************************************

Part 4: Learning

"I'm waiting!" Mara said, hostility dripping from
her voice.

"Divine wish," Urd gasped out.  Mara blinked for a
moment and the grip on Urd's throat loosened as Mara
transferred her hand to the collar of Urd's robes.

"What did you say?" Mara asked, eyes narrowed.
"Are you trying to tell me that MY daughter received a
divine wish?   And she wished to roll in the hay with
you?   I didn't think goddess's were supposed to lie,
Urd.   That is the worst lie I've ever heard."

"Kodachi didn't make the wish, Mara," Urd said.
"She's part of it."

"And this wish requires you to teach her magic so
she can fuck you as a guy?" Mara growled.

"That was her idea," Urd said trying to maintain
her cool.   "We're supposed to get married.   Heh..."
Mara blinked and shook her head out at that.

"WHAT WAS THE WISH, URD!?!" she demanded angrily.

"The wish says that she, myself, and five other
people are supposed to be happily married to each
other," Urd said simply.  Mara blinked and pulled away
from Urd.

"What five other people?" Mara asked, leaning
herself against a wall.

"Damn, Mara," Urd said dusting herself off.
"Again?!"

"What five other people?" Mara asked.  Urd sighed
and decided to start with the two males first.

"Ranma Saotome," Urd said and saw Mara wince.
"Ryouga Saotome, Ukyou Kuonji, Akane Tendo, and
Shampoo daughter of Silk."  With each name Mara winced
again.

"You're facing the furies, and two second class
demons," Mara said glumly leaning against the wall
and staring down at the sidewalk.

"I had a run in with them already," Urd said.
"That cat sort of pushed the issue on Shampoo and
Ranma a little quicker than I wanted."

"Aitvaras needs to make Ranma the greatest martial
artist of this time period," Mara said.  "Ays needs to
give Ryouga his desire for vengeance against Saotome.
Megaera needs to help Ukyou settle with the Saotomes
in some manner.   Alecto needs to marry Ranma to one of
the Tendo girls.  Tisiphone was supposed to get
Shampoo a strong husband, and she did that
technically, and sounds like completely from what you
tell me.   She just needs to ruin Shampoo's life now
that the wish is fulfilled."

"Not quite," Urd said, as Mara just outright turned
over this information.  She had guessed some of it
already from her mini-self's encounter last night, but
Mara had just filled in the blanks.  "Shampoo
consummated the marriage with Ranma in the wrong
gender, so she has a strong wife by her people's laws
now."   Mara looked up and nodded with a sort of
irritable smirk.

"I'm on assignment already, so you don�t have to
worry about me," Mara said.  "Unless they outright
order me to interfere.  And I'd rather not have
another kid haranguing me through the centuries if at
all possible."

"You could interfere if you wanted to, Mara," Urd
said.   Mara looked at her as if she were crazy.

"Do you know what would happen to...me if I tried?"
Mara asked.   "And don't even bother giving me that
'forgiveness is eternal' crap.  Keep the kid away from
me, Urd."   Mara spoke grimly and then she leaped back
and vanished in a puff of smoke.

"How long is she going to let them do this to her
before she gets a clue," Urd wondered.

It was perfectly easy for her to understand the
true forgiving nature of heaven above.  She herself
had been a demon and then been accepted back as a
goddess.   Her understanding of the demonic frame of
thinking might have been broader than most gods, but
it was still very limited.

She shook her head and looked for the nearest
television.

*******

"Hey, Akane," Ukyou said, turning to the other
girl.   "Akane, I'm talking to you."
Akane was still very reluctant to look at her, but
eventually did, relaxing as no daydreams were created
by seeing Ukyou's face.  Ukyou looked confused at the
behavior

"What is with you these last two days?" Ukyou
asked.

"Umm, Ukyou," Akane said.  "Do you mind if I call
you Ucchan?"  Ukyou blinked and her head shot back in
confusion.   Talking to Urd yesterday had gotten her
thinking, and last night she'd had a dream that
started like that.

~Where did that come from?~ Ukyou wondered,
absently mirroring Akane's thoughts as the other girl
began to suddenly look very embarrassed.  Ukyou noted
the growing blush and felt one of her own starting.

"It's just that, you're my friend," Akane said
suddenly.   "That's all...that's all."

"Uhh, sure," Ukyou said hesitantly. "I...guess
that would be alright."

"Thanks," Akane said, suddenly feeling much better
for some reason.  "So what did you want?"

"Where's Ranma," she asked.  "I want to talk to him
too."

"I don't know where the baka is," Akane said in her
normal mix of worry and anger.  "He never came back
home last night."

"You and he had a fight again," Ukyou said, not
asking a question.  "Look, just, well we need to talk
about the new fianc�e so let's meet after school at my
place.   Okay?"

"Yeah," Akane said.  "Sure.   Will Konatsu be
there?"

"No, Sugar," Ukyou said.  "He goes off and trains
every four days or so."

"Oh," Akane said conversationally.  "So it will
just be us then?"

"Unless we see Ranma or one of the others before we
get there," Ukyou said.  Akane nodded in understanding
and then noticed the door about to open to let in the
teacher.

"It's a date," she said, noticing Ukyou blush
brightly in response.  Akane blinked and winced before
turning back to face forward, turning bright red.
~Damn it, I KNOW she cast a spell on me.  I can't get
the image of Ukyou out of my head now.  Arrrggghhh!
Maybe she didn't notice.~

Of course, said spell had already worn out so that
not even a small bit of it was left.  Still, as long
as Akane was convinced the spell was there she had an
excuse for her thoughts.

~Oh my goodness!~ Ukyou thought, staring straight

ahead and trying to fight down her blush.  ~She's
coming on to me.  Akane's coming on to me!   What do I
do?   Ummm, stay calm.   Probably my imagination
anyway.~

Both girls glanced surreptitiously toward the
other, and then bolted their eyes to the front as they
made eye contact.

~Definitely not my imagination,~ Ukyou thought
desperately.   ~Well, I'll just have to tidy up my room
before she...errr...let her down easy...that's right.~

~She noticed,~ Akane thought to herself.  ~Okay,
I'll just have to apologize for being so forward...I
mean tell her I'm not myself.~

They concentrated on the lesson for a couple of
seconds.

~My room is a total mess,~ Ukyou whined internally.
~How the hell am I going to get it clean before she
gets up there?~

~A little forward is good,~ Akane reasoned.  ~Ukyou
likes a little forward.  Just not Tsubasa forward.~

One of the remaining mini-Urds sat in the rafters and
giggled madly as she rubbed her hands.

*******

"Where the?" Ryouga panted wearily as she
discovered herself standing in front of her house.
"How'd I get here?"

She looked around confused and then shrugged,
scratching her head in confusion.  Then she lugged her
heavy feet into the building, dragging her pack and
umbrella behind her.  Since she was here, she might as
well get some hot water.

She walked into the building and noticed that there
were some backpacks in the hallway next she set hers.

"Mom and Dad are home," she said, surprised, and
then looked down at herself and acquired a very
worried expression.

She cautiously peeked into the main room and looked
around before beginning her quest for the kitchen.  It
had been cleaned since the last time she had been
there, but the only thing she saw out of the ordinary
was the creepy little doll on the sofa.  The one that
seemed to be alive and watching her.

She tip-toed in the room, trying to guess where her
parents might be.  Being caught in an unfamiliar body
by her parents was not a good idea.  They tended to
fight first and ask questions much later, quite
unreasonable in her opinion, really.

Ryouga had no idea how completely hypocritical that
statement was.

No one was in the main room.  So now all she had to
do was get to the kitchen or bathroom before anyone
noticed her.   She reasoned that she had at least a
twenty percent chance of hitting ONE of those rooms.

The odds were good.

Ryouga didn't notice the "doll" standing up and
following her silently and curiously.  By some miracle
she managed to make it to the kitchen on her first
try.   She glanced in and looked toward the bulk of the
kitchen, which included the sink.

Seeing nobody, she smiled and tip toed on her way
to the sink, not noticing the rather surprised woman
in the small end of the kitchen behind him.  Aki froze
in mid gesture of raising her cup of tea to her lips.
Though the gesture was quickly resumed.

The fact that she was drinking tea probably saved
Ryouga from a great deal of panicky running and trying
to explain things verbally.  Aki loved her tea.   She
hated to break off from her tea.  She was perfectly
content to let this potential assassin do whatever it
was she came do while she finished said cup of tea.

In fact, once she and Jiro had been caught in a war
on one of the other worlds they had traveled to
simply because she had heard that there was this truly
wonderful teas made by this one person on the world.
This would sound like a mere bad timing coincidence if
one didn't know that Jiro and Aki had been to the
world before.

There week on the world had resembled the
introductory scene of "Saving Private Ryan."  All
because they had ruined some mega-powerful sorceress's
dinner on their arrival.  It would be too soon if Aki
and Jiro never heard the term "dragon cuisine" ever
again.

They had collected some lost artifact for Hermes,
or was it Gabriel that time?  Anyway, upon returning,
in more or less one piece, they had both sworn that
they would never even say the world's name ever again.

About twenty minutes later Kishijoten had asked Aki
if she had tried those teas.

The tea she was drinking was one of that particular
blend.   She had about twenty packages left and planned
to make them last for quite a while.  If she went too
soon Jiro might balk about going back to get more from
the nice dragon.  She only wished she could make it as
well as Filia could.

At the moment she was quietly celebrating her son's
engagement, and thinking of interesting ways to kill
this silly intruder in her home.  Then she would
finish the kettle.  She dearly loved her tea.   And
this was the best tea that she had found yet.

Meanwhile, Ryouga had turned on the hot water tap
and stuck her hand under it, waiting for the water
temperature to increase.  It happened to hit just the
right point as his mother was taking another sip of
tea.

Aki spat the tea out in shock upon seeing the
intruder become her son.  The remainder of the cup
spilled over the floor, and the kettle itself was
knocked violently to the side upon contact with her
elbow.

Has it been mentioned that Aki loved her tea?

"Mom? Urk!" Ryouga gasped turning around to see his
mother staring at him wide-eyed, not yet aware of the
waste of her tea.  Ryouga on the other hand was quite
aware and had lost his capability to speak.

"Ryouga you...you..." Aki pointed to the sink and
her son with the cup.  Her eyes were suddenly focused
on that cup.   "MY TEA!!!!"

"What's--?" Jiro paled as he saw the situation.
Rakshasha possessed of a berserker rage that they used
in battle to greatly enhance their physical power.
But...Aki loved her tea.  "Oh no!   Aki calm down!   He
just got here, we have to tell him the news!"

"MY TEA!" Aki growled, human illusion vanishing.
The mini-Urd was impressed and nervous.

"It's not working dad," Ryouga said in a tiny voice
and getting ready to run.

He just knew what was coming next.  Well he didn't
for sure.   Some task certainly, but he wasn't certain
quite what yet.   He just hoped that this time it had
nothing to do with shrubberies and herring.

"Look, I'll..." he paused.  "We'll pick you up
another box next week, okay?"  Aki's rage vanished in
a flash and she turned to her husband with a cutely
smiling face.

"Really?" Aki asked.  Jiro had lost most of his
skin tone as he resigned himself to the suicide
mission later and nodded.  She turned back to a
relieved Ryouga and scowled.  "RYOUGA!!   Dishes!
Now!"

"Hai, mother," Ryouga said, meek and relieved. No
impossible task for him this time it seemed.  He
immediately started to work on the dishes.  "You'll
probably wondering why I was a girl, aren't you?"

"We'll get to that after a moment," Aki said
dismissively.   "Ryouga Hibiki, I'd like to introduce
you to one of your fianc�es."   She indicated the
mini-Goddess that had been there guest the past couple
of days.   Ryouga turned around slowly and looked at
the doll curiously.

"I'm engaged to a doll?" Ryouga asked, confused.

"Hmph," mini-Urd said.  "If you think I'm a doll
now, what did you think of my full bodied self when I
met you the other day?"  Ryouga looked closely at the
talking doll, and refrained from freaking out.

"Y..y..you're that goddess," he said surprised.

"Part of her, yep," she said.  "Main real self is
sort of entertaining one of your other soon to be
spouses."

"What?" Ryouga asked, confused and mind threatening
to cease function.

"Urd came to announce her intention to include you
in part of a multiple marriage," Jiro explained. "We
approved the situation."  He sided up to Ryouga and
elbowed him with a wink.  "A goddess and five women
out for you, eh?  Reminds me of..." he noticed Aki's
look.   "Err...congratulations son."

"Uh...what five women?" Ryouga asked.

"Prepare yourself for a shock, you know them all,"
mini-Urd said smirking.  "Shampoo, Akane, Ukyou,
Kodachi and Ranma."

Ryouga responded in the manner of an Amazon male as
demonstrated by Shampoo earlier in that day.

He fainted.

*******

"She's awake," Shampoo heard Ranma say.

"He's awake," Cologne corrected. "Ranma, I know it
will take a while for you to get used to the idea, but
as far as Amazons are concerned, Shampoo is your
husband.   In the presence of other Amazons you should
treat him as such.  As well as avoiding that form as
much as possible."

"The only other Amazons out here are you and
Mousse," Ranma said.  Shampoo sat up and saw that he
was definitely in male form.  "So I don't have to
worry about it.   And I wouldn't either way."

"Tell me, Ranma," Cologne said. "Do you wish to
return to China ?"

"Not any time soon?" Ranma said firmly.  "If at
all."

"Then you will need to face a challenge to begin a
new village," Cologne said. "Or the elders will come
en masse to force you and all your betrothed's back to
Joketsuzoku."   Ranma seemed to consider that.   "Even
you couldn't fight them all off."

"Aiya," Shampoo said, noticing she was back in
female form and dressed.  She hoped Ranma had done
that.   "Is bad dream, yes?"

"Aren't you one to talk?" Ranma asked, snapping at
Shampoo.   "You started this junk."   Shampoo winced.

"Despite her use of certain pressure points in ways
that violated the center point of all our laws,"
Cologne said sharply, causing Shampoo to wince even
further.   "Shampoo might not be entirely at fault."

"What do you mean?" Ranma asked.  "I already said I
jabbed her after she jabbed me." ~And then she jabbed
me. ~  He flushed slightly but managed to keep the
reaction down.

"I was not talking about you daughter-in-law,"
Cologne said. She reached behind her and retrieved a
scroll to present to Shampoo.  "This is a letter from
your mother to me, Shampoo."

"But, Shampoo mother is dead," Shampoo said,
surprised.   "It come from before grandmother go
crazy?"

"No," Cologne said. In the rafters above a
mini-Urd listened carefully.  "Judging by the
contents, your mother wrote this while she was in
heaven."   The mini-Urd fell off the rafter and smacked
into the table below.

"I know I should have checked that thing before she
put it in the case," the mini-Urd muttered. Shampoo
and Ranma gathered around the mildly concussed
mini-Urd and stared at her in mild astonishment.

"Strange white-hair woman get very small," Shampoo
said.

"This is my new fianc�e?" Ranma asked.  "An
oompa-lumpa?"   The response was a mini-Urd bolt to his
face.

"Oompa lumpa!?" Urd said, mildly astonished. "For
your information I am just one part of your newest
fianc�e, Ranma Saotome.  Since Silk seems to have told
the old woman everything, anyway, I should tell you
that I am the Second-Class Goddess Urd, one of the
three Norns.   I'm certain mother-in-law can explain
everything else."

"Actually," Cologne said. "Silk told me that you
were a valkyrie sorceress.  I had no idea that you
were a goddess."  The mini-Urd facefaulted.

"If you DIDN'T know that I'm here because of Nodoka
Saotome's divine wish," mini-Urd asked.  "Why'd you
assume there were demons involved?"

"Uhh...this is my Mom's fault?" Ranma asked.

"Because she apparently learned that all of the
mortals on that list were the center point of one
demonic wish or another,Cologne said.  Everybody
stared at Cologne in unveiled shock.

"They're the targets of a demonic wish?" mini-Urd
said sheepishly.

"Targets?" Ranma and Shampoo said together.

"Did everyone BUT me know about that?" Urd asked
from the doorway.  The mini-Urd blinked and then
hopped over to her prime self and vanished into the
goddess.   All present goggled.

"May I start by saying that the only thing I could
do to correct Aitvaras's work was to give Shampoo a
little attack of conscious?" Urd asked.

"Ranma," Cologne said, after finally gaining her
voice.   "This is your fianc�e, don't you have
something to do?"

"What do you me..." Ranma grumbled.  "You're
kidding right?"

"I'm afraid not," Cologne said. "The fact that you
have other ties will not be accepted by the council.
They either all become Amazons or they die.  Granted a
goddess is beyond even THEIR reach, but you might as
well get used to it."

"Have her do it," Ranma said, pointing at Shampoo.

"What was that?" Urd asked.

"HE," Cologne said, eliciting a wince from Shampoo.
"Is not given the right to accept new members into
the household, you are."

"Fine," Ranma said and stood up reluctantly to
approach Urd.   A bucket of water changed Ranma to what
Cologne now considered HER proper form, a fact for
which she received a glare from her daughter in-law.

"Do it right," Cologne said.

"Look there are some important matters to go over
before we get to the fun stuff..." Urd said before
Ranma glomped Urd.

"Wo ai ni," she said sort of off-handedly before
kissing her.

Urd, of course for her part was not about to let
someone kiss her as if it were a chore, and proceeded
to, as a matter of pride, give Ranma the full benefit
of her skill.

Ranma's eyes popped wide as Urd responded and her
hands started to roam.  After a few shocked moments
she began kissing in earnest, vainly trying to match
the situation.

The situation might have continued, and was already
attracting Shampoo, but Cologne had decided that the
proper forms had been made and interrupted it by
smacking her daughter-in-law on the head.

"Oww!" Ranma said, backing off.  "What was that
for?"   As she asked, Cologne was likewise bonking
Shampoo.

"You were not invited, Shampoo," Cologne said.
"Just because your wives might give you leeway does
not mean I shall."

"Shampoo getting tired of being man," Shampoo said.
It was a very funny statement coming from her in girl
form.

"As Urd said," Cologne reminded them.
"There is the demon business to discuss," Urd
finished.

*******

Genma smiled as he walked out of the city office.
It had been remarkably easy to get the boy's girl form
registered as a separate person.  Knowing nothing of
the ultimate force, Genma allotted it to his own skill
for pulling a scam.  Whatever the case, Ranko Saotome
was now an official person.

"Now he can marry Akane and Ukyou and the family
honor will be appeased," Genma said happily. "Too bad
he can't have a third identity.  Then he could marry
that boy Kuno too, and get all that money."

Genma walked along for a moment apparently deep in
thought.

"Now all I have to do is find Kuno," Genma said.
"I'm certain he'll go wild over the chance to marry
his beloved pig-tailed girl.  He'll probably even pay
me up front!   And then Ranma can marry Akane and still
earn me all those millions of yen."

Just where Ukyou had vanished to in Genma's mind is
probably something better left unimagined.

*******

"So, ummm," Akane said.  "Not open for business?"

"Not today," Ukyou said.  "I have to run inventory
one day out of the week and Monday's usually the best
time.   So we...uhmm...won't be interrupted...talking."

"Right, talking," Akane said.  "About the new
fianc�e and how she wants to marry all of us."

"Yeah, her," Ukyou said, her eyes floated to her
stairs for a moment.  "Excuse me Akane, I have
to...tidy up a little, I'll be right back."  She was
off almost in a blink."  Akane set her jug down and
took a breath.

"I think I scared her," Akane said.  "I'll tell her
when she gets back down, I didn't really mean to..."
She blinked and caught her reflection in Ukyou's
spotless grill.   "Ahh! I forgot to shower after gym,
I've got to stink."

Megaera watched invisibly and considered the
situation.   Her charge and Saotome's reluctant fianc�e
alone together in Ukyou's house.  Lots of blushing and
nervous dancing around words.  Ukyou tidying up her
room, and Akane primping.  She smirked as a new
thought occurred to her.

She did wonder where Akane had gotten the
nannichuan though.  It was like there were gallons of
the stuff floating around or something.  Shampoo had
had it, Akane had it.  Where was it all coming from?
Wasn't Jusenkyo thousands of miles away?  Wasn't the
nannichuan destroyed?  Where in Hell was the stuff
coming from?!!?!  It was EVERYWHERE!!

Anyway, stealing Ranma's love was certainly away to
'settle' with the Saotomes.  Alecto could just marry
Ranma to one of the other Tendos anyway.  She just had
to make certain that Akane discovered she had been
used and take out appropriate vengeance on Ukyou.

"Great," mini-Urd whispered, skittering along the
walls.   "Megaera, what's she doing here?   Is she
assigned to ruin this wish?"  She watched the demon
walk upstairs, obviously to influence Ukyou somehow.

The mini-Urd floated up behind Akane and whispered
insistently.   The sound of a thump from upstairs gave
her a quick idea.

"Ucchan needs you!" she said.  Akane, who had been
in the process of opening her jug of water, gasped and
rushed upstairs.  The mini-Urd followed cautiously,
and was greeted by the sight of a second fury.

"There are three Tendo daughters Alecto," Megaera
said irritably.   "After Akane sullies herself Soun
will insist one of the other two take over the
engagement."

"You don't understand!" Alecto growled. "I've been
setting this up for a long time, he is dead set on
Akane, it'll take forever to get him to change his
mind."

"You should have kept your options opened, little
sister," Megaera said.  "I've got my job finished
here.   As soon as I make sure that Ukyou has the right
mindset."

"Over my dead body, Megaera," Alecto growled
starting to power up.

"Fine I'll come back and plant the suggestion after
the fact then," Megaera said.  "Let's settle this
outside, sister!"  The mini-Urd sweatdropped as the
two demons vanished to begin their little duel.

"Ucchan!" Akane said.  "Are you all right?"

"Akane!" Ukyou said desperately as she crawled out
from under a pile of dirty linen that had apparently
buried her.   "You weren't supposed to come up here
yet...it's err...a little messy.  I keep the towels
from the restaurant up here."

"Ohh," Akane said, relieved.  "That's fine, I
thought someone had kidnapped you or something."
Ukyou snickered.

"We've been around Ranma too long," Ukyou said.
"That actually sounds plausible."

"Yeah," Akane said.

They were both quiet for a moment and fidgeted,
looking around the room.

"So...ummm...," Akane started nervously, "about
this woman that wants to marry us all...She told Dad
something about two identities, so two people could
share him I guess."

She quietly poured herself a small glass of water
out of her jug.   Ukyou sighed and stepped up to stand
in Akane's face and look at her nervously.

"Let's save that for when Ranma's around later,"
Ukyou said, blushing.  "You didn't...really...come
to...uh...talk...did you?"  The last sounded uncertain
and Ukyou turned away momentarily.

"I didn't mean to..." Akane sighed and looked over
Ukyou and glancing away embarrassed.  "No I guess
not..."   She took the cup of water and quickly
splashed herself in the face and rubbed it into her
skin in case this was a daydream.

"I...guess that I didn't bring you to talk either,"
Ukyou said quietly she turned around and caught sight
of Akane splashing herself and growing several inches.
"A...Akane?!"

"Why are my panties..." Akane paused at the
changing of voice.  "...crushing me?"

She looked down and noticed her change.  Most
noticeably the pain as her clothes weren't designed
for such a body.  That was something the daydream had
lacked.

"AHHH!!" Akane flailed back in a near random
direction, sending the jug flying into, predictably,
Ukyou.

Being in a boys uniform didn't help Ukyou much, the
change still caused a painful confrontation between
his body and certain underneath wear.  He had to snap
his chest bindings quickly or they would have crushed
his ribs before breaking.

Compared to the discomfort from his panties,
however, that was nothing.  He and Akane both tried to
relieve themselves of those constricting garments
quickly.   Akane had an easier time, once overcoming
shock, as he was wearing a dress.  Ukyou had to drop
his pants first.

"Where the hell did the nannichuan come from?!"
Ukyou demanded.

"I...I...It was outside the dojo," Akane said.

"Maybe a trap?" Ukyou growled.  "Shampoo?"

"Urk, not a good thing," the mini-Urd thought. She
floated up to Akane's ear, still invisible.  "If she
brought it she left it by accident, it was outside the
wall, any vagrant could have picked it up all night."
This mini-Urd hadn't actually seen the situation, but
could guess well enough.  Fortunately, a guess wasn't
lying.

"I don't think so," Akane said.  "It was left
outside where anybody going by could have taken it or
thrown it away or whatever."

"Shit," Ukyou said, trying slip on his pants again.
~This ruins the mood.~ "I'll get us some hot water."
He felt both relieved and disappointed.

"Do you want to let this chance past?" the mini-Urd
asked Akane.   "Say something before the mood
completely dies."

"Umm, I uh, don't need any yet," Akane said. Ukyou
stopped and stared at Akane in surprise.  So did the
mini-Urd, she hadn't quite expected that.
"Errr...depending on you anyway...uh...Ucchan."

"Wh...wh...wh...what do you mean?" a furiously
blushing Ukyou asked.

"Remember yesterday in the bathroom," Akane said.

"You were sort of looking at me..." Ukyou said.
"Uhh...Akane, you were...umm...thinking about me then
weren't you?"

"You, me and...uh...some nannichuan," Akane
admitted, flashing occasional glances at Ukyou.
"And...uh..."

"Go for it," the mini-Urd said. "You're on a
roll."   Akane took a deep breath and strode up to
Ukyou and added in a gentle tone, stroking his cheek.

"I'd just like to prove to you that you are a
woman," he said, remembering something of the line he
had used before.

"Oh kay," Ukyou said shakily.

Then Akane hesitantly leaned in to kiss Ukyou.  It
wasn't as skillful as Urd's kiss certainly, but in a
lot of ways it was just as good for both of them.  And
then they broke apart for a moment.  All the while the
mini-Urd was cheering them all intangibly present.

"Are you sure we need any hot water?" Ukyou asked
after a moment.

"One fantasy at time," Akane said blushing. "And
how would that prove you're a woman?"

"Right Ukyou," said smirking nervously as he
reluctantly left to get his water.  "Maybe we'll save
this for when there's a redhead to sandwich, eh?" The
joke was nervous, but came through mostly strong as
Ukyou left.

Akane smiled at the thought.

"Now about those demons that might come back," Urd
thought.

*******

"Hello?" Jiro answered the phone.  "Who is this?
Urd?   Well, you are you here, yes, sort of?"

"What do you mean I have to marry Ranma?!" Ryouga's
voice demanded as he and his mother and the mini-Urd
discussed his engagement.

"No just a mini-you," Jiro said. "Errr...We're not
really...uh...equipped to handle a...uh...two
first-class demons.  Well, maybe we can distract them
for a while."

"I will not marry that jerk!" Ryouga declared.
"He's ruined my life!?  I hate him!   I don't care
about your wish or whatever!"

"It's not everyday that a goddess asks for your
hand in marriage, Ryouga," Aki said.  "And this Ranma
Saotome is well talked of among the valkyries and
einherjar, umm...him?"
"Well, that's your choice," the mini-Urd said.
"But if you really hated him, heaven wouldn't have
allowed this particular wish to go through.  Somewhere
you have care a little for him."

"Him?" Aki said again, a little more insistently.

"Excuse me," Jiro said interrupting. "But another
of Urd's mini's wants us to...umm...distract a couple
of FIRST CLASS demons from either interrupting or
corrupting two of your spouses' first time
together..."

"Ehhh?"

"What?" Urd said.  "TWO demons, what kind of fire
power are they sending against this one wish?  Who are
the couple?"  Again, she hadn't yet been given the
information her prime self had.

"I think she said Ukyou and Akane," Jiro said.

"HIM!?!?" Aki demanded.

"Yeah Mom, Ranma's a guy!" Ryouga said.

"Wait...demons...Ukyou and....Akane?!"  Ryouga's nose
threatened to overwhelm him.

"Ranma's a man and a girl," mini-Urd said. "Like
your son here."

"Ohh," Aki said.  "That's all right then."

"MOM!!!" Ryouga roared, temporarily forgetting the
other thing.

"What?" Aki asked, then she blinked.  "Did you say
FIRST CLASS demons?"  Jiro nodded.   Aki turned to the
mini-Urd angrily.

"WHO DO YOU THINK WE ARE?!!?" she demanded.
"HIMURA KENSHIN?!?!"

"Honey, its a manga," Jiro said.  "He's NOT real,
not like we are." ~I'M supposed to be the berserker,
sheesh.~

"And I'm not the one asking!!!" mini-Urd said. "I
am...errr...the other I am!!"

"Oh come on," Ryouga said.  "Akane's in danger!!"
And with that Ryouga started to run out the door,
until Jiro caught him.

"We'll teleport," Jiro said.  He turned to the
mini-Urd   "You gave me the address."

"I'LL teleport!" Aki said.  "You can't target
places, only beings."

"Just hurry!" Ryouga said.

"And don't interrupt Akane and Ucchan!" mini-Urd
said.   This nearly incapacitated Ryouga.

***************************************

Part 5

"Now remember," the mini-Urd said. "We don't want to
interrupt them, that might be bad at this point."
Ryouga was struggling not consider that thought,
clamping his nose closed.

"You actually think we're going to have any control
over this fight?" Jiro asked.

"Does the term speed bump mean anything to you?" Aki
added nervously as they took perches on the roofs
around Ucchans.

"Hey," mini-Urd said.  "I looked up your files, you
survived pissing off Lina Inverse, and you think
you'll have troubles here?"

"Lina Inverse isn't a first class greater demon," Aki
said.

"No, but she's been involved in killing two," Urd
said.   The elder Hibikis blanched.

"Ruh...really?" Aki asked timidly.

"About that tea..." Jiro added.  Aki glared at him.

"Let's just be very careful when we get it."

"Who's Lina Inverse?" Ryouga asked curiously.

"She's not in this reality," mini-Urd said. "So don't
worry about it."

"Okay," Ryouga said nervously.

"And my other me said she was going to get
reinforcements, right?" the mini-urd sounded nervous.

******

"Why, Urd-chan," Kodachi purred into the phone. "Of
course I'll come, what do I care about demons with a
Goddess in my...corner?"   She smirked and then frowned
in confusion.   "Why do you sound so small?"

******

"Well that answers the question of how far I got, I
suppose," Urd said, somewhat embarrassed after ending
the call.

"Oh, Akane!" a gasp came from upstairs. Speaking of
how far some one was getting.  The mini-Urd fought
down the urge to go up and take notes, and instead
went back to the phone.  Why couldn't Ukyou have two
phones?

******

Nabiki blinked and looked at the phone for a moment in
confusion.   Some had just demanded that she bring "the
WHOLE file" to "two blocks from Ucchans." They also
had asked what she was doing at the Dojo anyway.

The funny thing was, that Nabiki felt a definite urge
and desire to obey.  You'd almost think that she were
talking to divinity or something.

"Uhh, I gotta go Kasumi," Nabiki said, as she went up
to her room to grab her files.  "I'll be back later."

"All right," Kasumi said brightly. "Have fun!"

******

"What's this about demons?" Ranma asked nervously as
Urd was dialing a long number on the Nekohanten
phone.

"Since Urd-sama seems to be otherwise engaged,"
Cologne said. "I shall explain.  Greater demons often
come down to Earth to offer a wish to a mortal, they
seem to choose almost at random, good, evil, weak,
strong, there seems to be little to it."

"Well," Ranma said.  "I don't remember making any
wishes."

"Yes, Peorth," Urd said.  "I want the WHOLE file down
here, and YOU with it to answer any questions."

"The phrasing was that you are the center of a demonic
wish," Cologne said. "Not that you made one.  In any
case, a demonic wish gives the wisher what he asks for
word for word, but ruins their life and often lives of
those around them in the process.  Often times, they
encourage the mortals involved into corrupt behavior
that eventually leads them to hell.  At rare times a
mortal will actually call a demon to them and sell
their soul for a wish.  Which is what I believe
happened in Shampoo's case.  My daughter was known to
dabble in such things which is why she eventually
died."   Shampoo flinched at that, never having heard
of such a thing before.

"So you're saying it was a demon last night that made
Shampoo do that?" Ranma asked.  Urd nodded as she hung
up the phone.

"That's right, lover," Urd said, amused as Ranma
flinched.   "There was a whole slew of demons
whispering in his..." she smirked at the statement.

"Ear last night.  Curse Akane, curse Ukyou, curse all
the Tendos, and then while the rest were arguing she

got cursed and Aitvaras followed him to your landing
put the pressure point idea in his head.  I wasn't
there completely, and it's not like I could compete
with all of them anyway, so I just waited until he
left and told Shampoo exactly what he was doing."

"Aiya," Shampoo said.  "And Shampoo try to stop, but."

"It was too late for that," Ranma said. "So who are
all these wishes 'targeted' on anyway, and what do
they got to do?"

"That's what Peorth is going to tell us when she gets
here," Urd said.  At which point the phone rang.  Urd
blinked and picked it up.  "Hello? Who is...got
it...it's worse than you think."

"What was that?" Cologne asked as Urd hung up the
phone.

"That was me," Urd said.  "We got demon problems
already."

******

As for the demons.  Most of them weren't in any
particular condition to be aware of the problem at
hand.

******

Tisiphone stood in Hell, wondering just exactly how
she had gotten there.  She scratched her head and
looked around curiously.

"Congratulations, Tisiphone," a demon passing her
said, coming out of the main office.  The woman looked
familiar, but she passed by so quickly that Tisiphone
wasn't given a chance to identify her.

"EHHHHHH??!!" Tisiphone asked, confused, trying to
track the fading voice in the teems of the demonic on
the streets of Hell.

"Demon First Class, Tisiphone!!  Report to the main
office!!! NOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!"  Tisiphone cringed
and swallowed as she turned to face her punishment.

Whatever it might be.

******

"He's certainly bound for greatness now," Aitvaras
said drunkenly to the rather scared person standing
across from him.

In his drunkenness he had sort of reverted back to his
"natural" black cat form.  Black cats did not often
drink enough to put twenty men under a table, and even
more rarely spoke in anything considered intelligible
sounds afterwards.

In fact, the scared young man was realizing, black
>cats rarely spoke at all.  He was a little drunk
himself, but he figured it was probably because most
cats were shy.

"Well, sort of wanted to be hero and great mage like
in the stories you know?" he asked. The cat looked the
man over for a moment.  "I'd like to see new worlds
I'd guess."

"Well, Mr. Liquer," the cat smiled, yes smiled. "This
is your lucky day."

"This should cover his tab," a woman said at the bar,
just out of the demon's earshot.  "Keep him
entertained."

******

"NOW where is that boy?" Ays grumbled as he returned
to scanning the world for his charge.

As a wind demon he was certainly capable of moving
quickly, unfortunately, he was also pushing a small
storm system ahead of him.  So by the time he "found"
Ryouga, the Lost Boy was a Lost Girl and Ays continued
traveling ahead, not recognizing his prey.

Getting fed up, Ays began to search in a little more
detailed manner.

As for where the rain storm came from?

A woman smirked grimly as she shook the rain from her
coat.

******

As for Megaera and Alecto.

"You got this coming, little sister!" Megaera growled
before unleashing a wave of dark destruction.  Alecto
teleported away, letting the wave through and opening
a hole the street behind her former position.

"Your little tricks won't help when I've torn your
guts out!!" Alecto retorted in a raspy, hissing voice.

Appearing behind Megaera in her Fury aspect, claws,
snakes for hair, bleeding eyes, the works.

There really was no need to help further here.

"Amateurs," a woman said bluntly as she watched the
display for a few seconds in disgust.

******

"Great," Ryouga said, trying to wring out her clothes
without taking them off.  "I'm a girl again."

"Very healthy one too," the mini-Urd said.

"Yeah, you're going to be a load of fun," another
mini-Urd said as it landed to next to the other.  In a
moment the two merged and there was again just one
mini-urd.   "In either form."

Ryouga responded in his...errr...her normal manner.

She fainted as her nose started to bleed.

"Have to cure him of that," the mini-Urd said.

"Excuse me!" Aki snapped.  "Teasing my son is fine and
dandy, but NOT while we're looking to face two
FIRST-class greater demons!!!"

"We need all the help we can get," Jiro confirmed.

"Don't worry," the mini-Urd said. "Help is on the
way."   At that point a certain high pitched laugh woke
up Ryouga just in time to see Kodachi land.

"Oh dear, Urd-chan," Kodachi said, surprised as she
crouched down to look at the mini-Urd.  "This is
certainly a trick that you will have to teach me.  It
would make stealth so much easier."

"Uhhhh..." the mini-Urd said.  Kodachi's face moved to
look over at the Hibikis.

"Ohh, who is this?" Kodachi asked.  "If I read the
aura right," she glanced to Urd for a moment as if
checking with a teacher.  "Then that is Ryouga!"

"Aki and Jiro Hibiki," mini-Urd said.  "Meet another
of your future daughter-in-laws, Kodachi Kuno."
Ryouga was lacking a verbal response.

"She's a little..." Jiro started.

"Strange." Aki finished, which, coming from her was
saying quite a bit.

"I am pleased to meet you father and mother-in-law,"
Kodachi said.   "I would like to assure you that I will
do my best to be the perfect wife and husband to all
of my soon-to-be spouses.  And I certainly have the
resources to provide for us.  Actually, my family has
the resources to provide for well over fifty families
for over a lifetime."

"You mean you're rich," Aki said.

"I own the moon," Kodachi said, not joking at all.

"Welcome to the family!" Jiro and Aki declared
together loudly, welcoming arms almost knocking Ryouga
off the building.

"Up there on the roof!" Ranma's voice called out from
below.   In a moment he was standing there with them,
quickly followed by Shampoo, Cologne and Urd. "What's
going on no...Ryouga?"

Ryouga on the other hand worked through his confusion
long enough to identify Shampoo.

"SHAMPOO!!!" Ryouga snapped coming face to face with
the surprised girl...or would that be cursed boy in
girl form now, anyway.  "WHERE'S THE NANNICHUAN!?!!"

"Shampoo HAD Nannichuan!" Shampoo said. "Until
stupid...green...haired...girl...spill on her..."

"Spilled on..." Ryouga turned pale. "You're the guy I
ran into last night."

"You mean that what happened is RYOUGA'S fault?" Ranma
asked.

"Realize you are speaking to a future wife," Cologne
reminded Shampoo before she decided to go a rampage
against Ryouga.

"Husband," Aki corrected.

"Whatever," Urd said as she recombined with the
mini-Urd.   Kodachi watched impressed.   Urd acquired a
small knowing smile and looked toward Ucchans.  "My,
my, aren't they having fun.  And how did I call Peorth
twice?"

"Ehhh?" Ranma asked confused.

"I really do need to learn that trick," Kodachi
purred.

"Speaking of marriages," Cologne said, pulling a spray
gun and producing a change in Ranma.  Ranma glared at
her.   "Get on with it."

"Get on with what?" Aki asked suspiciously.

"Oh, this will be entertaining," Urd promised. "Just
some Amazon laws require this to be girl-girl first,
or there are some legal problems that could result in
somebody's death otherwise."

"Ehhh?" Jiro responded.

"Ummm...about this marriage thing," Aki weighed being
related to a goddess, in law anyway, and these strange
laws she was hearing about.  "Whatever, as long as he
doesn't disagree.  I guess it is something of a male
fantasy."

Ryouga was still frozen in shock at hearing the
nannichuan was spilled when Ranma walked forward
toward her.   She didn't notice the wicked smile on
Ranma's face as she considered a little light payback
for the Lost GIRL's accidental involvement in last
night's events.

Ryouga barely heard the whispered "wo ai ni" as Ranma
came with in a hair's breadth from Ryouga's face.  The
warning was trying to work it's way through the shock
when Ranma's tender, subtle approach suddenly exploded
into something a little more...active.  First she
pulled Ryouga's head down to meet her own, and it
progressed from there.

Ranma was, of course, a technique sponge, though
usually it had to be connected to martial arts somehow
for her to pick it up quickly.  Still she did somehow
manage to get enough of Urd's kissing technique down
that, considering the shock she was already in,
Ryouga's brain was restarted and crashed several times
in a few brief seconds.

Everybody sweatdropped as the kiss continued, Ranma's
hands roaming in some...interesting places as Ryouga
clutched back at her, at first reflexively and then
apparently responding.  Though the watchers sort of
doubted that Ryouga was truly aware of what she was
doing.

The Hibikis began anxiously looking anywhere else as
their "son" started to buck strongly. It only lasted
a few seconds before there was a muffled cry.
Ryouga's eyes rolled back in her head as she fainted
away from Ranma, a rather surprised and happy
expression on her face.

"That," Cologne said, highly embarrassed.   "Is the
first time I've seen the Kiss of Marriage come with
its own consummation."  Ranma smirked triumphantly as
she set the swooned Ryouga on the ground and then
washed her hand on one of the fainted girl's many
bandannas.

"Oh my goddess," Aki said, confused.

"Did we just WATCH our son lose her...his virginity?"
Jiro asked.

"Aiya," Shampoo gasped.  Kodachi blinked in surprise
and seemed to be drooling.

"Not bad for a beginner," Urd noted.  "You certainly
have something to work with here.  Probably only
worked that well because she was unbalanced at the
moment."

"Yeah," Ranma said.  "Well that's all he OR Shampoo,"
the purple-haired girl twitched.  "Are getting from me
for at least a week, so he'd better enjoy it...."

Ranma froze and her eye began to twitch.  " I.  Did.
Not.   Just. Say.  That."

"RANMA-DARLING!!" Kodachi waved.  "Over here!
Ranma-darling!!"   Ranma twitched, maybe he should have
done Kodachi first.

"Hey," Ranma said, suddenly.  "Look, there's Nabiki.
Damn, she should get out of here before things get
rough."   Ranma went down to talk to the girl and warn
her away.

"And HERE comes Peorth," Urd said.  "Finally to get
some answers."

******

"What are doing here, Nabiki?" this red-haired girl
asked her, landing from a jump about three-stories
tall.

"Excuse me?" Peorth asked.  "I think you got me mixed
up with someone."

******

"It took you long enough," Urd said appearing in front
of Nabiki.   Nabiki looked up and for the first time in
her life felt like kneeling in prayer and begging for
mercy.

"Sorry," Nabiki said nervously.  "It took a little
while to gather everything up."

******

"Whatever, Nabiki," Ranma said.  "What're are you
doing here?"

"Wait, you're Saotome aren't you?" Peorth asked.

"Yeah," Ranma said irritably.  "There's going to be
some bad stuff going down Nabs, you should..."

"I'm not who you think I am," Peorth said. "Urd asked
me to come."

******

"Uhhh," Urd said, retreating from using that small
spark of divinity in her yelling.  She sometimes did
it out of habit when talking to other deities.

As the divine force impending her to obedience
vanished, Nabiki found herself shaking her head loose.

"Huh," Urd said.  "You're not Peorth."

"Somebody called me here," Nabiki said. "Can I assume
it was you?"  She sounded annoyed...and intrigued.

"Ahhh," Nabiki said, snapping.  "This explains the two
phone calls."

******

"Wait," Ranma said, looking at the scroll "Peorth" had
shown her.   "THIS is the wish contract."

"That's right," Peorth said.  "I assume you're going
to show me where Urd is hiding now?"  Ranma palely
pointed to the roof he had jumped down from as she
considered what she had just seen on that scroll.

"She's up there," Ranma said woodenly. "Give me a
moment."   Peorth was about to counter the offer when
she was quickly picked up and deposited on the roof.

"WHY!!!   If you weren't tagged for possible
ascension!!!" Peorth fumed as she straightened herself
out and saw Urd arriving with...herself.

"Ahhh," Nabiki said, then pointed. "Peorth?"

"Nabiki?" Peorth said pointing back at the mortal.
"Well this explains things, somewhat."

"You'd think they'd notice the head-markings though,"
Nabiki added.   Then she corrected herself.   "Maybe not
Ranma."

"HEY!!" Ranma snapped.

"Whatever," Urd snapped.  "Now, could you please
explain to us the FULL data on what is happening?"

"Well, first," Peorth said.  "Here is your wish
contract."   She handed the over as she started looking
for the file.   Urd opened the scroll casually, not
expecting it to be about six feet long.

"Erk," Urd said.  "What did I miss?"

"How very...interesting," Kodachi said as she started
reading it next to Urd.  Cologne , Shampoo and the
Hibiki's looked like they would be swallowing their
tongues soon.

"WHAT?!!" Nabiki screeched as she came to certain part
of the scroll.

"Ranma-chan...." a slowly awakening Ryouga muttered.

"Ranma," Cologne said in shaky voice.   "Let's get this
over with before the demons come."

"Demons?" Nabiki snapped in confusion and concern,
turning her head right around to see Ranma's face.

"Wo ai ni," Ranma said.  "Sorry about this."  And
then, of course Nabiki was treated to a teaser of what
was currently frying Ryouga's brain.

"Ranma-sama!" Kodachi whined.  "I'm still here."

"Gotta go," Ranma said apologetically.

"Hai, hai," Nabiki said blinking.

Urd was smiling mischievously, if that girl thought
THAT was something...well just wait until it was her
turn.   Nabiki blinked and sat down on the roof.

"I'll just sit here," Nabiki said firmly. "And try to
figure out what's going on until I wake up."

"Well, finally," Kodachi sighed. "Ranma-sama I was
beginning to think that you'd..."

"Kodachi, be quiet," Ranma said.  "Wo ai ni."
Kodachi's kiss was comparatively simple to Nabiki's
even, much less Ryouga's.

"That's IT?!!!!!" Kodachi gasped.

"Yeah," Ranma said.  "We need SOMEBODY in fighting
condition."

******

"And now, finally, oneesan," Alecto hissed through
what remained of her breath.  "You will fall before my
might."

"Not if you're wiped from existence first,
imoto-chan," Megaera gasped.

The condition of the terrain matched that of both
demonesses perfectly.  It was absolutely, completely
and totally wrecked.  It looked as if Tokyo Tower had
been destroyed yet again.

Which was probably because Tokyo Tower had been
destroyed yet again.

A small crowd had begun to appear around the
squabbling sisters, and the collective sweatdrop was
intense indeed.

"I think that should about cover it," one woman said
in the crowd, checking her watch.  She gathered breath
and screamed.   "Urd's at Ucchans!!!"

Both demons stopped their catfight and stared at each
other before screaming in a girlish manner that most
certainly did not go with their fearsome appearance.

"Amateurs," the woman muttered again as they vanished.
"Total amateurs."

******

"Here they come!" Urd shouted suddenly.

"I can't interfere in this," Peorth said. "Sorry."

"I think we got enough for them here," Urd said.

Peorth nodded and vanished away into the security
camera over a nearby ATM machine.  Ryouga snapped
awake and was suddenly facing the same way as the
goddesses.

"Errr," Ranma said as she felt the approach suddenly.
It was something dark, evil...pitiful.  Though she was
thinking of it pitiful more like in the manner of
seeing someone suffer that didn't know they were
suffering.

"Make that pathetic," Ryouga said aloud, showing that
his own thoughts mirrored Ranma's.

"How dare you interfere in our business, Norn!"
Megaera said weakly, trying to catch her breath.

"Leave now!" Alecto added, her command having very
little power as she currently looked as if she had
been squeezed flat and then re-inflated.  "Before we
dine on your liver for the remainder of eternity."

"Wow," Urd said.  "I wasn't expecting you guys to beat
on each other THAT badly.  Incidentally, Heracles
freed Prometheus, remember?"

"These are the big scary demons you gathered us all to
fight?" Aki asked, pointing to the sky.

"This is rather," Jiro searched for the right word.
"Anticlimactic."

"Just as well," Cologne said. "We had a climax
earlier."

"I think there've been several happening at Ucchan's,"
Urd said.   Ranma looked confused, Ryouga looked
embarrassed (especially at the mention of her own
situation) but not on the verge of fainting for once.

"SILENCE!!!" Megaera demanded.  "Now face the combined
fury of the furies!!!"  She reared back, face angry,
until she noticed that Alecto wasn't joining in.
"WELL!!! Are you going to combine our powers to crush
these insects?"

"Ummm," Alecto said, for once tired enough that her
"eternal fury" was for the moment spent. "Don't we
need Tisiphone for that?"  Megaera face faulted.   Out
of the air.   About seventy feet straight down.

"That looks like it hurt," Kodachi said, smirking as
she looked over the edge.

"Now," Ranma said, cracking her knuckles. "Are we
still going to go through with this?"

"Errr," Alecto said.  "AHHH!!! Ummm...I've got a date
with Baal!!   Sorry, sis! Gotta go!!"  Then she
vanished in a puff of noxious fumes.

"Why you..." Megaera gasped.  "Leave me here to face
them all by myself, you little...." Megaera blinked
strangely.   "BAAALL!!?!?!!?   That THREE-TIMING
BASTARD!!!   I'M his mistress!!!!   Just for THAT I'm
telling Tisiphone about it!!!"  Then she was
gone.

"That was really...." Ryouga said, sweatdropping.

"About par for this town," Ranma said wearily.

"Hai," Ryouga said.

"Okay," Urd said.  "Ranma, I think you need to go
speak to Ukyou and Akane now.  They should be
finishing up."

"Yeah, yeah," Ranma said.  She paused.   "What are they
doing over there anyway?"  Then she jumped down to the
street.

"It is amazing," Cologne said.  "He can remain
clueless even after Shampoo, you, Ryouga, Nabiki and
Kodachi."

"That WASN'T a dream," Ryouga asked.  "I mean
NIGHTMARE!!   Nightmare!!"

"Yeah," Nabiki said at last from her seated position.
"You looked really frightened while you were passed
out with that silly looking grin."

"Excuse us," Aki said a slight blush on her face. "I
think we'll be getting home for the night, it's been
tiring.   Make sure to invite us to the weddings."

"Yeah," Jiro added.  "Things to do."  Then both
teleported away.

"Well Ryouga-chan," Urd said smirking. "If I'm not
mistaken, that's your little brother or sister in the
process of being conceived just now."  That short
circuited Ryouga's already many-times stressed brain,
and she fainted again.

"Excuse me," Nabiki said standing up. "I think I
should go warn some people.  Can someone give me a
ride?"   She was answered by a couple of leering smirks
and frowned irritably.  "Not that kind of
ride....well...not yet..."

******

"That was," Ukyou struggled for the words as she got
dressed.

"Yeah, really," Akane said also getting dressed now
that she was again a she.  "Do you think we should say
anything to anybody?"

"I don't know," Ukyou said.  "This is pretty big.  But
it's not like we're going to be able to hide this
curse anytime soon."  Akane nodded.

"Well," Akane said.  "With any luck, Ranma will come
in, kiss us each saying 'Wo Ai Ni' and start to say
something about being an Amazon now..."

"Just before we double team her you mean," Ukyou said.
"Amazon style."

"And then give her a surprise," Akane added smiling
firmly.   "You know, actually, I doubt we'd let him get
past 'sorry bout this.'"

"Oh," Ranma said.  "You guys are up here, wow, Ukyou,
you and Akane been working out up here?"  Ukyou and
Akane stared at him in surprise for a moment.  Ranma
got nervous for some indescribable reason. "Anyway.
I gotta do something..."

At which point Ranma kissed each of them quickly in
turn before either could hit her, saying "Wo ai ni."
Then Ranma pulled back away from them a couple of
feet.

"Sorry 'bout this," Ranma started, whatever else she
had been about to say was cut off as Akane was
suddenly kissing her passionately and apparently Ukyou
was at his back, and her hands were somewhere very
personal.

Ranma's thoughts as they carried her to the bed were
along the lines of.  "I'm I ever going to get sex as a
guy?!?!!??"

******

Mara was in Hell...and she didn't remember how she'd
gotten there.

"Demon First Class Mara!!!!  OFFICE!!! NOW!!!"

Mara cringed at the sound of the voice, then
straightened her back.  She had been caught, but she
was knew that was going to happen.

She walked proudly into the central office of hell,
ignoring the black sent her way.  What did she care
about them, she was going to be wiped from existence
in the next moment.  What did she care what any of
them thought.

"Well," Hild said angrily.  "You managed to not only
scuttle five other demon wishes and insure your
children have a good life."

"Don't forget I tricked you into helping me," Mara
said.   "Where is Tisiphone anyway?"

"SILENCE!!!" Hild roared.  "Not only have you allowed
this one Goddess to embarrass five other demons, but
you have abandoned your own post as well!!"

"Oh," Mara said, unconcerned.  "Is something happening
at the Norn's place?"

"Belldandy and Keiichi are consummating their
relationship!!" Hild snapped angrily.  "You MAY still
have time to interrupt it."

"Why bother?" Mara asked.  "Skuld will get in the way
as usual."

"She isn't there," Hild growled.  "Now, about your
job."

"Just kill me and get it done with," Mara said. That
would be what happened, demons were too dangerous to
leave alive if they turned on hell.  Too many became
gods when they were left alive.

"Your death will be among the most..." Hild began.

And then Mara was lunging at her, powering up a
charge.   She noted the bodyguard oni moving to
intercept her.   "NOO!!! THAT'S WHAT SHE WANTS!!!!"

It was too late as several of the oni's spears
intersected in Mara's body.  Then all it required was
for Mara to not allow her body to heal.  She smirked
once triumphantly before her body vanished in a flash
of darkness.

Hild growled but watched, satisfied as the darkness of
Mara's soul began to sink to the ground, heavily.  She
was satisfied until the darkness peeled off a sphere
of golden light that slowly began to rise out of the
palace.

"NOOO!!!"   Hild screamed as she watched the true
escape taking place.  She began to up her power to do
the impossible, kill a soul.  When a stately Japanese
Goddess appeared to take hold of the soul.

"I'll take that," she said.  "We have somewhere to put
her."   With that the woman began to quickly fade away.

"COME BACK HERE GODDESSS!!" Hild roared.

******

Urd gasped as she felt like some part of her and been
torn away.   She'd heard of that feeling from other
gods.   Her other half was dead at the hand of a mortal
or demon.

Mara was dead.

Urd's shoulders slumped.

"Is something the matter, Urd-sama?" Kodachi asked.

Ryouga and Shampoo had escorted Nabiki home.  They
were the only two she was willing to go with at the
moment, though she hinted she was interested later.

After she had thought things through thoroughly.

"Kodachi," Urd said sadly.  "I need to tell you about
your mother."

"What would you know about that?" Kodachi asked.

"Because I just felt her die," Urd said sadly.

******

Belldandy looked down at her Keiichi as slept soundly
after their...activity.  She smiled and brushed at his
bangs.   Skuld might be a little unhappy though.   Best
not to tell her about it, or Urd, since that would be
essentially the same thing.

"I have a little news," a woman's voice said.
Belldandy looked to see a Japanese Goddess at her
door, holding a small box.

"Izanami-sama," Belldandy said formally, standing up
without disturbing Keiichi.  She bowed, a little
embarrassed by the situation the other goddess had
caught her in.   "This is...rather...unusual."

"It is," Izanami assented.  She held out the box.

Belldandy looked down and felt was inside.  "She took
death over her children's suffering, even refusing to
interfere here."  Belldandy blinked and took the box
curiously.

"Who is..." Belldandy looked down and opened the box.
In a moment she was bathed with white light that
quickly faded away into her.  "Mara.   Oh dear, Urd!?"

"Is fine," Izanami assured her.  "Mara was killed by
some oni in Hild's office."  She approached Belldandy
and gently laid a hand on the other goddess's stomach.
"Perhaps this lifetime she'll be given a better
life."

"Oh dear," Belldandy gasped, placing her mouth to her
hands.

"Well," Izanami said stepping away.  "It was either
you or Urd's menagerie.   And for once in her
existence, I think Mara deserves a relatively peaceful
life."

"I don't suppose that will be possible with those six
mortals in particular, not to mention Urd," Belldandy
said with a laugh.

"Oh, you haven't heard?" Izanami said.

******

"There's more than forty names on here!!!" Ranma said.

"Forty-six, including us," Urd said.  "And most likely
we'll meet them before we know who they are."

"We already know some of these people," Akane said.

"I know one," Urd said.  ~I guess I'm Keiichi's
sister-in-law in more ways than one.~

"Wow," Ukyou said.  "That's going to be one hard
sleeping schedule to work out."

"I suppose," Urd said, rubbing the bridge of her nose.
"That when your mother said 'you all,' Ranma, that
she was thinking a little more broadly than I was."

"Well, consider this," Peorth said.  "Pretty much
everybody on this list is being considered for some
important things.  Some of you are looking at future
divinity, and the rest are all soon to be einherjar or
valkyries."

"And how am I supposed to invite people girl-girl,"
Ranma complained.  "If some of these are guys?"

"The nyannichuan is still around," Ryouga noted.   "By
the way Ranma..."

"Ryouga," Ranma said.  "I am not doing anything else
with you for at least a week, and I explained why.
Besides, I still have to finish bringing Kodachi,
Nabiki and Urd into the family."

"You make it sound like work?" Urd said, mildly
insulted.

"I'm just wondering when I get to be the guy," Ranma
said testily.   "I'll probably forget about it
quickly."

"Ahhh," Urd said, smirking.  "Well, let's see what we
can do after the 'bringin in.'"  She smirked
seductively.   Ranma swallowed nervously and eagerly
all at once.

"Hey, Ryouga" Akane said after watching Urd for a
moment.   "Ukyou and I can help."   She glanced to
Ranma.   "You only did with her as a girl right?"

"Yeah," Ranma said.  "So?"

"So," Akane said, sharing a look with Ukyou.
"In some ways," Ukyou said.  "He's still got a cherry
to be picked."

"Errr...." Ryouga said nervously.

"Just give up now, Ryouga," Ranma said.

******

Epilogue: two years later.

******

"Well, guys," Akane said gesturing around her. "What
do you think?"

They were inside the main hall of what used to be the
Kuno estate.   Which was the center of the surrounding
area, collectively known as the Saotome colony for
those that knew to look beyond all the marriages and
knew that it was one mass family.  Between Kodachi's
and Tatewaki's resources, Nabiki's financial expertise
and the various talents of the associated people, they
had done very well for themselves.

"Not quite what I was thinking," Sayuri admitted.

"What," Akane asked.  "Were you expecting wall to wall
sex?"

"Well," Yuka said.  "Yeah."

"Kind of why we were surprised to see you at college,"
Hiroshi added.

"Actually," Akane said.  "A lot of us go to college.

It's not like we're all one tracked minds here, and
there's enough people around that someone interested
in a little action can find someone else interested in
the same."

"Oh hi, Akane," a woman said in accented Japanese as
she passed by.   She had short black hair and dark
skin.   She was carrying a bag of peanuts.   "How was
school?"

"Fine, Ukyou and Nabiki still have a final to do
though," Akane said.  "What's that, Rally?"

"Ranma said he wanted peanuts," the woman said,
rolling her eyes.  Yuka identified the accent as
American this time.

She gestured behind her as she said it.  Akane,
Sayuri, Yuka, Hiroshi, and Daisuke looked back to see
a brown-haired woman, about Akane's age, with a long
pony-tail, and Kasumi also bringing in bags of
peanuts.

"Nobody thought to make sure just one of you was
going," Akane said.  "Did they?"

"Well," the brown-haired woman started to say,
scratching the back of her head.

"Ummm," Kasumi said, flushed.  "Excuse me, Akane, we
should be along.  Makoto, Rally, I think we should
bring Ranma her peanuts."

"Right," Rally said.  "Better get to him, before the
mood swing starts."

"Uh," Hiroshi said as they watched the three women
walk away.   "What was that?"

"That was why Ranma skipped this semester," Akane said
with a smirk.   "You know how a fraternal twin happens
right?   The mother has two eggs in her body at the
same time and they're both fertilized by different
sperm."   The four visitors nodded.

"Yeah," Yuka said.  "We all took biology."

"Well," Akane said, still smirking.  "Those would be
father's one, two and three of Ranma's fraternal
triplets."

"KASUMI!!!????" Daisuke gasped.

"Strip poker tournament," Akane said. "Ranma
lost...several times."

"Hey wait!" Sayuri said.  "I thought there was no more
Nannichuan."

"KASUMI!???!!" Daisuke repeated.

"Well," Akane said.  "To make the marriage thing work
legally, we all needed two identities.  So Urd worked
something out she saw in another timeline or
something, she talks weird sometimes.  So anyway, she
made it possible to spread the curse, sort of like a
virus, just not so that it will get out of control."

"Okay," Sayuri said.  "How is that?"

"KASUMI!???"

"I'll tell you later," Akane said, smiling.

"So is Ranma stuck as a girl now or what?" Hiroshi
asked.

"Nope," Akane said.  "But if he changes to a guy, the
girl body and baby go into stasis so it just makes
things take longer.  He staying right now until the
babies are born."

"KASUMI!!??!"

"Oh," Yuka said.  They were walking further into the
building.   "So how many children are you expecting?"

"Well," Akane said.  "I'm pregnant, but I've been
having a little too much fun with my male side for it
to show yet."

"Who's the father?" Hiroshi asked weakly.

"KASUMI!!!!??!"

"Ranma, of course," Akane said dreamily. "And let's
see.   Nabiki is carrying Kiyone's child."   She
shivered.   "That is going to be one scary kid.   Ukyou
is carrying my child."  She said that as dreamily as
she mentioned carrying Ranma's child.  "And Urd
apparently is having a kid with Kodachi.  Ryoko is
having Setsuna's baby.  Ummm...Natsume and Ayako
formerly of the Tendo and Mano clans are going to have
a kid...let's see...there's three others, but I can't
remember them off the top of my head.  Fortunately
that stasis thing gives us SOME control over when
things happen."

"Uh huh," Hiroshi said.  "So is this everybody?"

"Almost," Akane said, smirking secretively again.

"Hey, Akane," a cheerful looking girl in a Megumi Tech
shirt said.

"Megumi and Ranma," Akane said, snapping her fingers .
"Damn, should have remembered my child's own
half-sister."   Sayuri and Yuka blinked, surprised, the
girl wasn't showing at all.

"Yep," Megumi said cheerfully.  "So this is them?"

The four noticed they were suddenly two other people
around them.   Including someone they recognized as
Shampoo's male form.

"Hai," Akane said.  "Shampoo, Ayeka, Megumi.  These
are my friends."  She turned to them.   "You know, I'm
really glad you four thought this place was going to
be just sex all the time."

"Huh?" Sayuri said.  "Why."   At which point Akane
squirted Hiroshi and the still stunned Daisuke, who
both turned to girls.

"Because it means that's what you were expecting to
get," Akane said.  "And since Ranma is indisposed to
this at the moment and the Amazons allow stand-ins for
these situations."  She smirked and then the last four
people on the list received their Kisses of Marriage.

*******************************************************

There you go people...and now let's see a list of the clich�s made fun of...

typical clich�s made fun of so far:

a) Amazons allow multiple marriages
This is wrong, even in the anime (which is done quite
a bit more poorly) Cologne told Lin Lin and Ran Ran
that Ranma was already taken.

b) all the characters are or can become bi-sexual
Quite wrong, maybe one or two of them. Of them all,
only Nabs seems to lean towards non-straight at
all...and that's just glimpses here and there

c) mysteriously appearing nannichuan and nyannichuan
It is quite obvious that it isn't THAT easy to get a
hold of Jusenkyo water...this includes other
convenient sex-change methods

d) Urd as bi-sexual
Wrong, she never shows any interest in girls in the
manga

e) It can be learned who a demon or god's doublet is
Wrong, Belldandy and Welsper are a special case. Most
demons and gods have no idea who their doublet is.

f) The doublet system is only triggered by direct
conflict between demon and god
Wrong, any demon killed results in a god killed

g) Belldandy and Kasumi are practically identical.
Wrong. They are similar. Belldandy is a lot more
outspoken than Kasumi. Belldandy's hair ranges in hair
color from grey, to silver, to brown depending on how
the light hits it. Kasumi is better able to keep her
cool than Belldandy. Kasumi is unlikely to punish
somebody in easily identifiable ways.  By the way, if
Skuld isn't around (like in the early Manga) then Urd
and Belldandy fight just as much as Skuld and
Urd...Belldandy grows up when her baby sister is
around...Urd doesn't

h) Demons are stuck by their wishes...
They are under no obligation to give a wish.

i) The craziness of the Ranma universe is due to evil
and sinister forces beyond their control.
Unless you count Takahashi-san....no.

j) "Urd is a slut"
Incorrect...Urd is loose...and might be somewhat
free...but in the comic she leaves someone because he
keeps putting other things above her...so it's
unlikely for her to share

k) Ranma marries everybody
Yes, Ranma, and everybody else, marry
everybody....^_^...well almost...

l) Ranma have sex as a guy?  Heaven forbid

m) Ranma the hyper-fertile

n) Gods surviving the death of their bound Demon
IT DOES NOT HAPPEN!!!!

o) Akane as the virgin hunter

p) blas� parents
really people

q) big huge build up, with little follow through in
the end
(That's a joke a couple of levels folks...^_^)

r) Nabiki/Peorth similarity...
I don't know how many have described Peorth to me as
"Nabiki, but a Goddess"

s) Ranma, and others, destined for greatness

If you can think of others tell me...

List of Spouses

Akane
Ami
Ayako
Ayeka
Azusa 1(DHY)
Azusa 2(DHY)
Chigako
Damian(whatever his Japanese name is)
Daisuke
Goldie
Haruka
Herb
Hiroshi
Hotaru
Kasumi
Kiima (cured of her Akane curse for a gender flip instead)
Kiyone
Kodachi
Kurumi
Makoto
Megumi
Michiru
Mihoshi
Minako
Mousse
Nabiki
Natsume
Rally
Ranma
Rei
Ryoko
Ryouga
Ryuu
Sasami
Sayuri
Setsuna
Shampoo
Tatewaki
Tenchi
Tofu
Ukyou
Urd
Usagi
Washu
Yohko
Yuka

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