This is something a little different from the other 
crossovers you've no doubt seen. I've tried to catch the spirit 
of both worlds without making it too much like one or the other. 
Despite the names shared by these characters with their 
originals, the characters may not necessarily act the way their 
namesakes would. Keep it in mind. I've tried to make it a bit 
more mature, but still keeping a bit of absurdity to keep things 
interesting. Also keep in mind that there are quite a number of 
cameos from various sources. Spot them all and win a prize! (Not 
cash, sorry...) Please send C&C and any suggestions on the story 
to [email protected].  

	Standard fanfic disclaimer averring that all characters, 
situations,  places and events with even a vague resemblance to 
the work of Rumiko Takahashi, Fujishima Kosuke's, CLAMP, whoever 
did Koko  wa  Greenwood or any one of a number of works, probably 
was borrowed in  the  first place. Apologies to all. Rights are 
to whoever owns them. Don't bother to sue, though. I'm broke.

I hereby present, for the reader's perusal:
        Sore wa Nibunoichi Megami-sama.
        (That's 1/2 My Goddess.)
        A Ranma 1/2 - Oh! My Goddess semi-crossover fanfic by 
Scriviner

PART I: Of Things Free and Unwished For

	Just a short distance away from the campus of the Nekomi 
Institute of Technology was the Greenwood Dorm and Dojo. It was a 
generally quiet little  place in a  generally quiet little 
neighborhood. Most of the time. 
	The thing is, you see, the Greenwood D & D was a men's 
dorm. Not only that... it was the dorm of used by the N.I.T. 
Martial Arts Varsity team. The place where most of the school's 
best fighters ended up. As a result, a lot of the students who 
lived here were healthy strapping men of action, little given to 
introspection or peaceful contemplation. In simple terms this 
meant lots of big, strong martial artists with short tempers and 
a knack for causing plenty of property damage. Greenwood was well 
loved by the local building contractors for their contributions 
to the local economy and much hated by insurance companies for 
the constant damage the place kept sustaining.  This was probably 
the only dormitory in town which had a policy covering incidental 
obscure weaponry damage (including the infamous bandanna, 
umbrella, broom and toilet-training potty subclauses), Chi 
strikes, and incidental furniture damage by hurling. As things 
stood now, it looked like their rates were going to go up once 
more. 	They were at it again. Three of the dorm's residents 
were running down the main hall  to the dojo. To put things more 
precisely, two of the men were chasing a third. That was Ranma 
Saotome. This sort of thing was generally a prelude to trouble. 
	Ranma was already breathing hard as his two dorm mates 
chased him. He was a handsome young man in his early twenties 
dressed in a red Chinese shirt and some comfortable  pants. His 
hair, which was pulled back into a short braid, bounced back  and 
forth  as  he ducked and dodged the  various  bandannas,  knives, 
yoyos and furniture that were being lobbed in his direction.
	Aside  from his two pursuers Ranma had an  unusual  
problem. Women. They loved him. They really, really loved him. He 
had  his own fan club and everything.
	It  wasn't  as  if he did anything  to  encourage  them.  
If anything, he actively tried to discourage them. It didn't 
work, of course. They still popped up in the hallways and in his 
classes, giving  him gifts, love letters, inviting him to dinner,  
dropped by  the dorm on the flimsiest of excuses. Another man 
might  have settled  back and just enjoyed it, Mikado Sanzenin of 
the  combat skating team came to mind, but Ranma vehemently 
disliked it. 
	He  didn't  dislike the girls personally or the food  (his 
father  had raised him to never turn down anything free) but all 
of the attention tended to be distracting during training. Also, 
there were only so many jealous boyfriends, irate brothers, and 
angry  fathers a man could take at one time. His dorm mates 
didn't like it all that much either. They claimed that their own  
training  was starting  to suffer because of all the distractions 
caused by Saotome's  fans.  Actually, they were mostly just 
jealous.
	They finally managed to corner him in the dojo. 
	"Nowhere  to run, Saotome. Give up now and we might go  
easy on you," said one of the men.
"Maybe..." said the other ominously cracking his knuckles.
	"No way, man!" said Ranma defiantly.
	The fellow he addressed was an impressively muscled, heavy 
set man dressed in a brown shirt with torn sleeves and an old 
pair of beige  jeans.  He had a tiger striped bandanna to  hold  
back  his shock of black hair. His face was currently twisted 
into a scowl. This was Ryoga Hibiki. He was not happy. He was  
rarely  happy. The true reasons for which may become clearer at a 
later date, but as far as he was concerned, there was only one 
consistent source  of his aggravation and he was currently 
shouting at it,  "Ranma!  I told you already! It's your turn to 
stay and watch the dorm!" 
	The  other  man,  taller than  Ryoga and  with  a  far  
more slender  build nodded in agreement. He was wearing a  long  
white overcoat  and a pair of ridiculously thick glasses. He was 
good looking in an oddly predatory manner and had  long  black  
hair which  fell  straight  to the small of his back. His arms  
were folded  across  his chest as he sent a look  of  amused  
contempt towards Ranma. This was Mousse, a Chinese exchange 
student and one of  Ranma's dormmates. He noted in calm tones, 
"Hibiki is right,  Saotome.  you've been  going  out every night 
with your women for the  past  three weeks,  leaving us with the 
duty of watching over the  dorm.  You are the only one who has 
not completed his dorm sitting obligation in  over a  month..." 
he continued even as he took a moment to  clean  his glasses  on 
the cuff of his sleeve, "... it is only fitting  that this  
entire week be yours, eh?" As he slipped his  glasses  back on, 
Mousse realized with some small measure of embarrassment that he  
was now talking to the punching bag. The other two  tactfully 
avoided any comment.
	"Aw, c'mon you guys! They aren't MY women and it's not  
like I  ask them out, or anything..." began Ranma, "They're  the  
ones chasing me--"
	"That  makes  it worse!" Ryoga interrupted, "They  waltz  
in here and drag you out to the movies or dinner even in the  
middle of training sessions, it's getting embarrassing, Ranma! 
All those girls  chasing  you..."  Ryoga's hands had  already  
balled  into fists.
	"Even  when  you're supposed to be guarding  the  dojo,  
you manage to sneak a girl or two in by the time we get back. it 
just isn't done..." Mousse added disapprovingly.
	"I don't sneak them in, they sneak in on their own..." 
Ranma replied, "Ahh... You guys are just jealous," he added under 
his breath.
	"What was that, Saotome?" asked Mousse in low and  
dangerous tones.
	Ryoga took it a little more personally, roaring, "That  
does it, Saotome! I've had enough of you, you arrogant little--" 
	Ryoga  leapt  into  the air sending a  flurry  of  
bandannas ripping  straight at Ranma's head. Ranma managed to 
jump  to  one side  in order to avoid the bandannas leaving them 
to embed  into the Dojo's floor. Mousse, with exquisite timing 
stepped back  and released  a  storm  of  chains,  ropes  and  
various  other  less identifiable things from the sleeves of his 
overcoat. Ranma,  who had  left  himself  open while avoiding the  
bandannas  was  soon wrapped  tight  in  steel  and string.  He  
fell  to  the  ground struggling to break free of his bonds.
	Ryoga landed with a little smile on his lips, "Now, 
Ranma... we're sure you'll be staying your shift."
	"I'll get you guys for this!!" 
	"No doubt you'll try, Saotome. We'll be back in a few 
hours. Make sure to take any messages and to clean up while we're 
gone," said  Mousse, turning his back on Ranma and walking  
purposefully towards  the  door. He was smiling as he flipped his  
glasses  up onto his head.
	"Hey, at least let me out of these chains first you guys!!"
	Ryoga walked with Mousse towards the dojo's door and 
cracked his  knuckles, "You can get out of those on your own,  
Ranma.  Oh yeah..." Ryoga said turning to look at Ranma again, a 
broad smile on his face, "Mousse and I already talked to the dorm  
manager... If  anybody catches another of your girls in here, you 
are  going to  get  kicked  out of this dorm. No  more  
violations  will  be tolerated."
	"But I don't help them sneak in, you stupid jerks!"
	"That's  what you say," replied Mousse cynically then  
added in  an  amused  tone,  "Try not to scratch  the  floor  too  
much squirming around, Saotome."
	Ryoga  and  Mousse laughed as they walked out of  the  
dojo, interrupted  only briefly by Mousse running face first  
into  the wall next to the door.
	"Dumb  jerks..."  muttered Ranma to himself  as  he  
started snapping  the chains one after another. Half an hour 
later,  only his  ankles  were still bound when the phone in the  
common  room suddenly rang.
	"Oh  great," Ranma muttered to himself as he  half  
bounced, half stumbled out of the dojo, "I wonder who that is?"
	"Hello?" Ranma asked into the phone's receiver.
	"Hello, sir, " said a soft woman's voice on the other end 
of the line, "This is the Goddess Relief Office, we will be  
sending our representative there shortly. Please stand by..." 
	"Hey,  who  is  this--"  Ranma  managed  to  blurt,   
before realizing that he was talking to the dial tone.
	Ranma  frowned  at the phone. He was used to  strange  
women calling him and leaving odd messages, but this was a new 
one.  He shrugged it off as just another girl trying to get his 
attention. He'd  had  enough of that. He stretched a little and  
decided  to take a little soak to relax himself.
	As  he walked to the bath Ranma was actually glad the  
Ryoga and Mousse had saddled him with dorm sitting duty. With 
Shinosuke, Konatsu and Tarou in the country for the semestral 
break, and Gosunkugi  at another of his Dark Ritual of Summoning 
Meetings, Ranma had the dorm all to himself. Provided none of  
his would be self-appointed girlfriends showed up, he thought 
that he would  finally have a nice relaxing evening. A little  
peace  and quiet  was precisely what he needed just now. Too bad  
he  wasn't going to get any.
	Ranma  was sitting up in the hot bath with his eyes  
closed, gently dozing. "Blessed silence at last," murmured Ranma 
just  as a sudden burst of light illuminated the bathroom.
	Ranma's eyes flew open to see a widening black circle on 
the surface  of  the water. Light seemed to be pouring out  from  
the circle and energy crackled at its edges as it grew. Ranma 
blinked his  eyes, trying to get used to the light when he got 
the  vague impression  of a form rising from the circle. Suddenly 
the  light was gone and there she was.
	Long seconds passed as she stood over Ranma with her feet 
on the  opposite  sides of the tub, looking rather  shocked  at  
his state  of dress (or undress). She was in a white outfit,  
trimmed in  red  which looked vaguely like a short dress,  with  
matching boots, gloves and jacket. Strapped to her back was a 
large, oddly mechanical  looking hammer also in red and white. 
Her long  black hair was drawn into a  ponytail, that reached to 
just  behind her knees. Ranma had just enough time to notice that 
despite  her surprised expression she was also rather cute... 
	Before  Ranma got a chance for a closer look, she'd  
whipped the hammer off her back and brought it up over her head 
with both hands,  in an attack position. She screamed, "You  
pervert!!"  as she brought the hammer down on Ranma's head. 
	Ranma's  reflexes  barely saved him as he ducked  under  
the water and surfaced behind her. Her hammer crashed into the 
water, missing him by inches and slammed into the tub's floor,  
cracking it. Half of the water in the tub was sent splashing out 
onto  the bathroom floor.
	"Hey stop that you idiot!" shouted Ranma at the girl.
	Realizing  that  this pervert was now behind her,  the  
girl tore the mallet loose from the floor, whirled around 
swinging the mallet  in a wide flat arc. Dripping wet and rather 
naked,  Ranma jumped  onto the hammer, and vaulting from it,  
launched  himself across the room towards the towel rack. Ranma's 
unexpected weight on  the hammer made the girl lose her grip. 
Undeterred, the  girl jumped  at Ranma from her position on the 
side of the tub,  ready to pound him to oblivion, with or without 
her weapon.
	Ranma managed to grab one of the towels off the rack as  
the girl closed in. Ranma tried to simultaneously dodge the girl, 
tie the  towel  around his waist and run for the  bathroom  door.  
He would have made it too, if only the floor hadn't been so wet.
	With a cry of "Who's an idiot, you  pervert?!" the  girl 
rushed Ranma. 
	He  managed  to neatly sidestep her blow as he tucked  in  
a corner of the towel. He took another step toward the door as  
the girl  suddenly  changed tactics and whirled around  to  drive  
an elbow  into his gut. Ranma slipped suddenly on the wet floor  
and struck the girl's elbow with his nose. Hard. Her blow sent  
him flying  into  the opposite wall. He stuck to the wall for  a  
few seconds  before  sliding off and leaving a shallow  Ranma  
shaped impression in the shattered tiles of the wall.
	"What's  going  onnnnn..?"  Ranma  managed  to  say   
before slipping into unconsciousness.
	The  girl  seemed  to calm down as  she  realized  that  
the pervert was now out cold. 
	"Serves  him right," she muttered. She took a good  look  
at him,  now sprawled on the floor, and a look of  confusion  
passed across her eyes suddenly followed by horror. She murmured  
aloud, suddenly appalled, "Oh no... was that the client?"

	Meanwhile,  one floor up and a few doors down the hall  
from the bathroom, was Hikaru Gosunkugi's room. It vaguely 
resembled a cross  between NASA mission control and an occult  
antique  shop. 
	While it wasn't unheard of for some of Gosunkugi's stuff to 
glow, that  was  usually because he'd spilled luminescent paint 
on it by accident. One of his numerous  pieces  of camera 
equipment suddenly began to glow, without apparent cause. Much as 
Gosunkugi would have liked to believe it, that wasn't normal.
	The  diffuse  light  coalesced slowly and  began  to  
gather itself  about  the camera's lens. The light collapsed on  
itself creating  a  tiny pinpoint on the lens through  which  a 
beautiful  redheaded  young woman  suddenly,  impossibly  stepped 
through.  She  looked  around her in confusion  and  called  out, 
"Hello? Anybody home?"

	Ranma was in his room as he woke up slowly. He'd just had 
an awful nightmare where he was being chased by this mad woman  
with a  mallet. It took a moment for him to realize that he was  
still dressed only in a towel and that he was not alone.
	The girl from his dream was sitting next to him on the  
bed, the immense hammer now strapped to her back once more. She 
smiled tentatively at him. Up close he could see that she had 
some  sort of odd triangular markings on her forehead and at the 
corners  of her eyes and she wasn't much younger than he was. 
	Ranma  winced as he felt his nose, "You're not going to  
hit me again, are you?"
	"I'm  really  sorry about that, Saotome-san...  this  is  
my first job in the field and I was a little nervous."
	"How do you know my name?"
	"We're supposed to know all about our clients, Saotome-
san."
	Clients? thought Ranma to himself.
	"Clients  of the Goddess Relief Office," she clarified.
	Ranma  sat up, "What are you talking about? Was that you  
on the  phone a while ago?" he asked, remembering the strange  
phone call. 
	The  girl  looked as though she were about  to  answer  
when something  else occurred to him, "How the heck did you  get  
into the  bathroom?  What  were you doing in  there?"  then  
added  to himself quietly, "No, wait... I know what she was doing 
in there, she were trying to smash me to a pulp..."
	"For which I'm really sorry Saotome-san," she said 
answering his unspoken thought, "Let me introduce myself first, I 
am Akane Tendo, Goddess of Conflicts 1st class, 2nd category, 
limited license..." she said showing him her business card.
	"A  goddess... with a business card?" said  Ranma 
skeptically, "Yeah.  Right.  Pull the other one."
	"... and I am here to give you one wish. Nearly any wish 
you could want," Akane continued brightly.
	"Very  original..." said Ranma looking annoyed, "You're  
the most creative girl who's tried to sneak in here so far."
	"I beg your pardon?" asked Akane, confused.

	The redhead was having a little trouble finding her  
client. She was quite certain that he would be in the building at  
least, but  so  far she had not had much luck. She'd found a  
couple  of risque  magazines,  a cell phone, an unopened can of 
soda  and  a walkman... but nothing much client-wise.
	She  was  a little short, but not that it  really  
mattered, since she was floating a couple of inches off the 
ground  anyway. She  was very attractive possessing a certain  
delicate  feminine charm. Her shock of long red hair was in a 
braid which reached to her  waist. Her clothes consisted of a 
multilayered  ensemble  of white  and purple which seemed to 
shift as she walked.  Her  blue eyes  betrayed confusion as she 
peeked into each of the rooms  in turn. So far, still nothing. No 
matter... she'd find this Saotome person  eventually, she thought 
to herself as she passed  through the door of another locked 
room. 

	"Original,"  continued Ranma, "I mean most of the girls  
who come  here  just  drop off candy or food or special free 
pizza deliveries, or something." 
	"What are you talking about?" she said her brow furrowing 
as she seemed to understand something, "You think I'm here 
because I like you!?!" she started to laugh.
	It was now Ranma's turn to be confused. "What's so funny?"
	"Its just that I've never seen such a large ego on a  
mortal before..!"  she  replied  before breaking  into  fresh  
gusts  of laughter.
	"Large ego?!" Ranma replied, incensed, "What would you 
know, you uncute girl!"
	Akane,  suddenly frowned at him in mid laugh, "What did  
you call me?!"
	"Uncute!" Ranma replied without thinking, as was his wont.
	"I  thought so..." she said as she pulled a  smaller  
mallet from somewhere inside her jacket and walloped Ranma to the 
floor.
	"Now..."  she said taking a moment to put away  the  
smaller hammer, "Who were you calling uncute, Saotome-san?" said 
Akane to Ranma who had been knocked to the floor.
	Ranma put a hand to his head as he got back on the bed.  
His ears  were  still ringing from that unexpected blow.  She  
wasn't acting like one of the girls who normally had a crush on 
him,  he thought  to  himself. Usually those girls did their  
violence  to each other, not to him... it was usually the angry 
boyfriends  he had to worry about...
	"Precisely, Saotome-san." said Akane smugly. "I don't have 
a crush  on  you," she seemed to find something  immensely  
amusing about the concept.
	Ranma's brow furrowed in thought, This has got to be the 
strangest attempt by a woman to break into the Dojo yet...
	"It does seem a little strange," Akane admitted in reply to 
his thoughts, "But I'd also like to point out, Saotome-san, that 
as Goddess I'm incapable of lying..."
	"Wait  a  minute. I just realized something...  you've  
been answering my questions--"
	"...before  you   say  them.  For  the  duration  of   our 
interview, I am allowed to read your thoughts in order to  better 
anticipate your every need."
	"You're reading my mind?" he asked.
	"Not entirely... just your surface thoughts." she smiled.
	"Okay  so  what  am I thinking  now?"  Ranma  asked,  
trying to think about onigiri, but somehow unable to keep his 
thoughts of how cute she looked out  of  his head... 
	Akane  blushed  a  little, and smiled,  "Er...  thanks.  
I'm flattered."
	"About onigiri?" asked Ranma, puzzled.
	"No... you were thinking about how... er... cute I... 
um..." Akane continued, blushing. 
	Ranma's  eyes bugged out a little. "So... um... You're  
sure you're not... er... You mean you're not another of my... 
erhm..." asked Ranma, now rather embarrassed.
	Akane  sobered enough to supply the word, "...groupies?  
No, not  at  all," she smiled at him again. Ranma couldn't  help  
but smile  back. She was just so cute. "I told you, Saotome-san,  
I'm here to give you your wish."
	"Could you just call me Ranma, please...  Akane, right?"
	"Okay."
	"So let me get this straight... a wish?"
	"Mmm-hm. One wish." Akane said holding up one finger.
	"So  what  can  I wish for? Can I wish  to  have  the  
world destroyed?"
	"Actually, you could, but we don't like to do business  
with that  kind  of  client. That's why  there's  a  strict  
screening process."
             "So why me?"
	Akane just shrugged. "You fit the criterion."
	Ranma  felt  oddly flattered by that, "So I  could  ask  
for anything, short of world destruction?"
"Pretty much."
	"Hmm...  I have to think about this..." he muttered  
quietly to  himself,  "World  domination..? Nah...  richest  man  
in  the world..? Nah... world's best martial artist..? nah..." 
	Ranma's  head suddenly snapped up as he realized  
something.
	"What time is it?"
	"Nearly  ten thirty," Akane replied, mentally  checking  
the time, "Why?"
	"You've got to get out of here!" said Ranma, panic rising 
in his  voice,  "My  dorm mates are arriving  soon,  if  they  
catch another  girl in here because of me, I'm going to get 
kicked  out of here!"
	"Well then you'd better make your wish fast, then..."
	"I'm too worried to make a wish! I could wish for the  
wrong thing  and  totally  ruin  my life forever!  I  don't  need  
this aggravation!"
	"Well...  what if we leave for a while, so they don't  
catch me here?"
	"I  can't leave, I have to stay here until they come  
home," Ranma  said,  every so often cocking his ears to  check  
for  the approach  of  Ryoga and Mousse, "Argh... Please...  
don't  bother with the wish, just get out of here? I have enough 
problems,  I'd rather not worry about you and a wish too..."
	"You're turning down your wish?" Akane asked, shocked.  
"You can't  do  that! No one's done that in centuries!" she  was  
also beginning to feel a rising tide of panic and depression, 
"It's me isn't it? Just because this is my first assignment 
you're picking on me..." tears were beginning to leak out of the 
corners of  her eyes.
	"Argh..! That's not what I said! It's just that you have  
to leave  now, otherwise I'll be in really deep trouble...  but  
its not  your  fault...  but  I'd rather  not  worry  you...  Do  
you understand?"   he said, now concerned with both himself  and  
her and the possibility of imminent arrivals.
Akane  stood up and turned towards the door,  "Fine...  I'll just 
go back up to heaven... a failure..." she wiped her tears on the 
back of her hand.
	She  was already out the door and storming to the  
bathroom, down the hall before Ranma was able to catch up with 
her.

	A  few  doors down and around the corner,  the  redhead  
was getting bored looking for her client. She was taking a break. 
She was  stretched out on Ryoga's bed, reading one of his  
magazines, drinking the soda she'd found all the while listening 
to music on the  old walkman. She was a little annoyed at the  
thing  too. There  was something wrong with the volume control,  
because  the sound  kept getting suddenly loud, then quiet, then 
loud. It  was starting to get on her nerves.
	Despite  the  walkman, however, she was certain  that  
she'd heard  a  noise... maybe that would be Saotome. With  a  
resigned sigh, she got off the bed and drifted out into the 
corridor,  not bothering  to remove the head phones. That right 
there was a  big mistake.

	"Look, Akane..." he said, tentatively putting a hand on  
her shoulder, "It's not you... girls have been after me and 
bothering me for most of my life. You're one of the few women 
I've actually been able to have a decent conversation with, even 
though we just met  today... and you don't necessarily count as a 
woman  because you're a goddess... and... er... um..."
	Akane  looked up at him, somewhat confused by his  
babbling. She  could  feel concern coming from him which made her  
smile  a little, "Okay. I think."
	"That's  better. Its just that I don't want either of us  
to get in trouble... do you have to grant a wish?"
	"Well... not really, wishes have been refused before 
without penalty.  It's  just a little embarrassing for me to come 
back without having granted it. Do you really want me to go?"
	"Well, I enjoyed your company... um... and I don't want  
you to  go as such... it's just... I don't really want the  
problems, you understand..? What if I give the wish to you?"
	Akane glanced downwards momentarily, "I'm a Goddess... 
we're not allowed to make wishes for ourselves..."
	"Oh. Um... er... Okay. So I can't give it to you..."
	Akane's eyes were dry now, "All right,  I  understand.  The 
wish can be returned to Heaven without  problems," she favored 
him with a small smile, "I guess I'm  not surprised the Yggradsil 
system picked you to receive a wish."
	"Thanks," Ranma replied rubbing the back of his head with a 
hand, blushing faintly.
	"I'd better go now before you get into any trouble..." 
Akane said.
	"Well... will you be able to come back? I mean... when I 
don't have to worry about my dorm mates? Just to talk? Or 
something?" Ranma was quietly railing at the injustice of it 
all... he'd finally found a girl he liked ... unfortunately she 
was a Goddess...
	Akane shook her head sadly, "We're not really allowed on 
Earth during our off duty hours..."
	"Well,  if it's any consolation for you... if I had to 
spend all  my time with a girl anyway,  I wish I could be with a 
girl like you."

	The redhead turned the corner, and there he was! Her 
client! He  was  talking to some other girl... probably a  
girlfriend  or something, she thought. He was cutie, mused the 
redhead...   With some fumbling she tried to adjusted the volume 
on the Walkman.
	She barely managed to catch him saying the words "...I  
wish I could be... a girl like you..."
	A  look  of shock crossed her face as she  heard  this.  
The marking  on her forehead suddenly flared with brilliant light  
as she rose into the air. 

	Akane  was  taken by surprise by  Ranma's  statement...  
but there  it  was  a clearly stated. The  marking  on  her  
forehead suddenly  flared  with  a brilliant light as  she  rose  
off  the ground. 
	Ranma  staggered back as Akane was enveloped suddenly  in  
a glowing  column of white light which reached through the  
ceiling and  into  the  heavens. Behind him  another  eruption  
of  light occurred  and  as he turned to look, he saw a  
beautiful  redhead similarly cocooned in light. 
	Within moments the effect had subsided, allowing both  
women float  gently back to the ground. With a single  quavering  
voice the two women said, "Your wish is granted."
	There  was  a brief moment of silence before the  two  
women noticed  each  other and everybody started talking  at  the  
same time.
	"Ranko!?" roared Akane at the redhead.
	"Akane?!" said the redhead, just as surprised.
	"Will somebody tell me what's going on?" said Ranma to 
both.
	"What are you doing here?"
	"Me?! What are you doing here?"
	"It  was my turn on the duty roster, you idiot!" Ranko  
said floating in Akane's direction.
	"Your turn was last week! He's my client!"
	"It was for today! I already granted him his wish!"
	"My wish? What wish?" asked Ranma, now utterly confused.
	"YOU?! I granted his wish you incompetent red headed  
excuse for a goddess!"
	"Incompetent  am  I!?," Ranko said in  a  dangerous,  
silken voice  as she drew back slightly. A glowing sphere was  
beginning to form between her hands.
	"That's  right... Here, let me show you how  
incompetent..." replied Akane pulling her hammer out of its 
holster. She gave the head  a  slight quarter twist and it began 
to hum in  an  ominous tone.
	"Nobody's  going  to do anything to anyone until  I  get  
an explanation!!" shouted Ranma at the top of his lungs.
	Ranko and Akane stopped in mid-threaten to look at him.
	"Alright.  Much  better. Now..." he said turning  to  
Akane, "Who's she?"
	The  glowing  sphere Ranko was holding had  disappeared  
and Akane  had put away her weapon as well. Both women crossed  
their arms at the same time.
	"That's Ranko," replied Akane in a sullen tone.
	"Ranko, Goddess of Affection, first class, second  
category, limited.  I'm  her  cousin,"  replied  Ranko,  in  a  
tone  which indicated  she  wasn't  particularly happy  about  
the  state  of affairs either.
	"Fine.  Much  better. Now what are you  doing  here  
Ranko?" asked  Ranma, trying hard not to sound as if he were  
talking  to children.
	"It  was my turn for the field assignment according  to  
the duty  roster, but hammer girl over here," Ranko said  nodding  
to Akane, "Must have misread the chart."
	"And  I  keep telling you that it's my  turn  today!"  
Akane retorted sharply, getting ready to pull out the maligned 
mallet.
	"I don't care..." Ranma replied, now gritting his teeth,  
he was  starting  to get a migraine. "Now... what was that  about  
a wish?"
	"The Head Office granted your wish," said both women at  
the same time. They glared at each other.
	"We can't have both granted him a wish, he's only 
authorized one!" said Ranko.
	"Wait... What wish?" asked Ranma, still rather lost in  
this conversation, "I don't remember making a wish--"
	"Yes you did," Ranko interrupted, "It was rather  
surprising I'll  give you that much. Nobody's asked for that in 
at  least  a couple of decades..."
	Akane  thought  for a moment then said, "We'd  better  
check with  the  Head Office and clear this up," she turned  to  
Ranma, "Can we use your phone?"
	"Sure...  just clear this up fast. The guys are probably  
on their way back by now," Ranma sighed, "This way," he said 
leading them down the hall.
	"Okay,"  Akane  replied smiling at Ranma, "I'm  pretty  
sure this  will  all  turn  out to  be  the  henna  haired  
harridan's fault..." she added, jerking a thumb at Ranko.
	"Who  are  you  calling a harridan,  amateur?"  said  
Ranko, incensed.
	"Amateur am I?" returned Akane through gritted teeth.
	"Cousins,"  muttered Ranma, to himself, "Of  course  
they're cousins... some things must run in the family, I guess."
	"What  was  that, Saotome?" Ranko suddenly  asked  Ranma  
in a silken voice. 
	"Erhm... nothing..." Ranma replied lamely.
	Akane  picked  the  phone up, frowning  all  the  while  
and punched the buttons in an incredibly complex sequence.
	"Hello, yes," Akane said into the receiver, "This is  
Akane, Sir...  There seems to be some sort of mix up here, Sir... 
Both contracts  are approved..? Is he getting his wish  twice  
then..? What do you mean she sent up a different  wish..?  
Different contracts..? Sir, why would my contract be worded like 
that?! Ranko's staying here too..?"
	"I'm WHAT?!?!" screamed Ranko, livid.
	"She's what?!" Ranma roared simultaneously.
	Akane continued to talk, "Yes, Sir, Ranko's still here. 
I'll put  her  on," she handed the phone to the redhead,  
"Here...  He wants to talk to you."
	Ranko grabbed the receiver, "What do you mean I'm  
staying?! I  sent  up the wish he wanted..! There has to be  some  
sort  of mistake..!  What  do  you  mean I made  the  mistake..!?  
He's  a what..?!"  she  added in low tones, "Oh boy... But if it  
was  an invalid wish anyway why are we still enforcing the 
contract? What do you mean you don't know?! Er... sorry, Sir... 
Yes, Sir... Yes, Sir... I understand that's how it works, Sir... 
Good bye, Sir. ARGH!!!" Ranko slammed the phone back  onto its 
cradle.
	"Well?" asked Ranma expectantly.
	"Well... apparently you are receiving two wishes..." 
replied Ranko, nervously.
	"What wish are you talking about? I haven't even wished  
for anything.  I was just about to send Akane back to Heaven 
without  giving  me the wish..."
	"Well..."  said  Akane fighting off a blush,  "You  sort  
of wished  you  could spend the rest of your time with a girl 
like me... It was interpretted to mean you wanted to spend your 
time with... me."
	"I...  I... what?" sudden realization dawning on  his  
face, "Oh..."
	"...and  now  we have a contract which  says  I will be 
your companion... for the rest of your life. Um... He told me the 
contract is... um... sort of worded like a formal betrothal." 
	Ranma  looked as though he were ready to faint,  
"Betrothal!? Betrothal? But it's not really a betrothal is it?"
	"Um... there's no real need for us to marry or anything... 
it was just the wording," said Akane vaguely. Truth to tell... if 
she understood it correctly they were bound in such a way that 
was even closer than any normal marriage...
	"Okay... okay... " said Ranma, calming down slightly, "I 
think I can deal with that... what's this about another wish?"
	"Er..."  Ranko replied with obvious reluctance, "I  sort  
of heard  you  saying that you... er wished you  could  be...  
er... agrlykmi."
	"What was that? Slow down, Ranko, I didn't hear you.  
Wished I could be what?"
	"Er... a girl like me."
	"THAT'S THE OTHER WISH!!!?!?!?" roared Ranma.
	"It's not my fault!" Ranko shot back.
	In  a fit of rage Ranma rushed forward and grabbed Ranko  
by her arms, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I WANTED TO BE A GIRL?!?!?"
	What  rather surprised him was the fact that his voice  
came out  a few octaves higher. He also noticed rather belatedly  
that he  was  now the same height as Ranko. Also... his  balance  
felt distinctly...  odd. Eyes glazed in shock and not daring  to  
look down,  Ranma's  hands moved to touch his chest.  Rounded.  
Rather well rounded. Very distinctly female...
	Ranko produced a small hand mirror from somewhere and 
showed it  to Ranma. He looked at it uncomprehendingly.  The  
reflection looking  back at him wasn't the rugged good looks and  
dark  hair he'd  become  accustomed  too. Rather  it  was  
Ranko's  delicate features  and red, red hair... He was now a 
she. This was  waaaay too  much.  Ranma gave a full throated 
scream  of  horror  before fainting dead away.
As  he  slumped  to the floor, Akane  turned  a  wry  glance 
towards Ranko, "You could've handled that better you know."
	"Oh shut up and wake him up. I still have to explain how  
it works."
	Akane  merely sighed. She knelt down next to Ranma, who  
now looked  exactly like Ranko except for the shorter braid  and  
the  lack of facial markings, and gently slapped her face. "Wake 
up." 
	Ranma  came to his senses after a few more slaps. "Ow.  
Stop that..." he said before realizing that his voice was now 
back  to normal, "Hey, I'm not a woman, it was all just a bad 
dream..." he said happily, before noticing his current situation. 
He was still on  the floor, but Akane was now cradling his head 
somewhat.  All in all not a bad position to be in if you're a 
man.
	Long  seconds  passed while the two tried to  sort  out  
who ought to move first all the while Ranko stood to one side 
with  a disgusted  look on her face. "Will you two love birds 
stop that? Just help him get up--"
	The door of the common room suddenly burst  open  revealing 
Ryoga and Mousse, followed by Gosunkugi and a few of the other 
dorm residents who didn't go home for vacation.
	"I  knew  it!  I knew you couldn't  resist  the  
temptation, Ranma!" said Ryoga pointing an accusing finger at 
him.
	"You  were warned, Saotome," said Mousse,  "Your  
punishment will be most severe."
	Gosunkugi  didn't even bother making accusations. He  
simply pulled out a 35mm camera and started taking photos.
	"Wait! It's not what it looks like really! I can explain!"
	"Oh,  really? Very well, then Saotome... I am curious as  
to how  you intend to explain fact one," Mousse said holding up  
one finger,  "Two  women  in  the  common  room,  after  you'd   
been specifically instructed not to let them in anymore. Then 
there is fact two, " he continued, holding up a second finger. 
	"The  fact  that  you are on the floor of  the  common  
room wearing  nothing  but  a  towel,  in  the  presence  of  the  
two aforementioned  women," Ranma made a small strangled sound as  
he realized that he was indeed still wearing only his towel.  
Mousse held up a third finger, "And fact three..."
	"The fact that you are currently being held by one of  
these aforementioned  women,"  Ranma  and Akane both  blushed  as  
they realized their positions. Both scrambled to stand up. Mousse 
held up a fourth finger in triumph.
	"And  finally,  fact four... we heard a scream  of  
feminine anguish as we entered the dorm, no doubt you forcing 
yourself  on the other lovely lady..." Ranko favored Mousse with 
a smile which caused his glasses to fog up, "Explain away that, 
Saotome. I dare you."
	"Er... If you put it that way. This looks really bad 
doesn't it?" asked Ranma.
	Most  of  the  other  dorm  residents  nodded  their   
heads vigorously in agreement, that yes, indeed it looked really 
bad.
	"I don't suppose we could overlook this..?"
	"Enough  talk, Ranma! Now take your punishment like  a  
man! Expulsion from Greenwood!! Grab him!"
	Within  a  matter of minutes, Ranma, Akane  and  Ranko  
were grabbed, man- (or woman-) handled and thrown out onto the  
street along with a small packed bag of Ranma's belongings.
	Ryoga  slammed  shut the door with the final  words,  
"We'll send  you  the  rest  of your stuff once you  give  us  
your  new address!"
	Ranma, still in the towel. Looked around him in dismay. 
"Why is this happening to me?!" he asked the heavens.
	"Bad karma?" offered Ranko with a grin.
	"Let  me in you jerks!!" cried Ranma, as he pounded  on  
the door.
	A  small crowd of people had already gathered to  watch  
the spectacle.  Murmurs of "Isn't that Ranma?", "A towel?",  
"What  a pervert!",  "Nice tush though..." were already making  
their  way around.
	"I'm really sorry about this Ranma," said Akane, 
hesitantly, "Um...  maybe you should... er... put something on  
first  before you catch cold..."
	"What  are  you talking abou--?" asked Ranma as  he  
glanced down, then around. 
	He gave a small strangled sound (sort of like an Aghk!  
only with more feeling) and ducked behind one of the trash cans.
	"Hey!"  he  railed  at the crowd, "Haven't  you  people  
got anything better to do?!"
	As the people began to disperse, some shaking their heads 
at the state of the youth today and some with an occasional 
sidelong glance,  even one person who took a snapshot, Ranma 
asked  Akane, 
	"Uh... could you hand me some clothes from that bag?" 
	"Here..." offered Akane, doing her best not to look.
	"Thanks," he said as he changed into his clothes, doing  
his best to keep the trash can between him and the two girls.
	Ranko  leaned to one side to get a better view of him as  
he put his pants on and muttered, "Hey, that lady was right, he 
does have a nice tush..."
	"Ranko,  stop  that!" said Akane,  acutely  embarrassed  
for Ranma.
	"Anyway,   as   I  was  saying  before  I  was   so   
rudely interrupted,"  Ranko  said  as Ranma  finished  getting  
dressed, "Basically...  Ranma will turn into a girl if he comes 
too close to me."
	"What?!" said the other two simultaneously.
	"Here, watch." She moved close to Ranma, nearly touching 
him and suddenly, without even a puff of smoke or a three minute 
long transformation  sequence,  Ranma had turned into a  nearly  
exact twin  of Ranko. Their only major difference was in the 
length  of hair and the face marks. Ranma's clothes were now 
looser in  some ways, but considerably tighter in others...
	"Argh!!"  said the now female Ranma, "Turn me back! Turn  
me back!"
	"That's  the other thing... you change back only when  
Akane touches you," Ranko said, now stepping back.
	"When I what!?" asked Akane
	"You've got to touch him."
	Akane stood next to Ranma and touched the tip of her  
finger to  his  shoulder.  Just as quickly as he'd been  turned  
into  a woman, he was a man again.
	"See?" said Ranko, "Simple."
	"Who's  idea was this?" said Ranma, examining himself,  
more or  less trying to make certain that all of his... ahem...  
parts were where they were supposed to be.
	"I  don't  know. That's what was on the  contract...  or  
so Kami-sama said."
	"Kami-sama?" asked Ranma.
	"Yeah. On the phone, remember?"
	"You're kidding, right?"
	Both girls shook their heads.
	"That was hi-- I mean, that was Him?"
	Both girls nodded.
	"Geez...  I don't think you can get a higher authority  
than that, I guess," then Ranma brightened perceivably, "Well,  
that's simple then. If you just stay away from me, I don't have 
to worry about turning into a woman!"
	"It's  not quite that easy, Ranma," said Akane, "Neither  
of us can be separated from you... if you try to leave either of 
us permanently... let's just say bad things will happen.
	"Oh  great..."  said Ranma, hanging his head, "No  place  
to live  and stuck with two goddesses, one of whom will give  me  
an instant sex change if I stand to close to her."
	Ranko  looked  faintly  bored and  Akane  was  still  
rather embarrassed by it all.
	"Let  me  get  this  straight... you've  got  some  sort  
of contract  with  me,  right?  Making  sure  that  my  wishes  
stay fulfilled?"
	Akane nodded.
	"But  one  of the wishes was faulty right? Couldn't  I  
just have that one annulled or something?"
	"Well, you see Ranma, it's not that easy. Something 
happened when the Ygradsil System processed your request. My 
contract with you is inexorably linked to Ranko's contract with 
you--"
	"What  she means, Saotome," interrupted Ranko, "Is  that  
if you want to get rid of me, you have to get rid of her too..."
	Ranma had to think about that. "So, how do I do that?"
	"You have to break the contract... I'm not sure who did  
the wording, but I was told you have to break her heart to break  
that contract.  That  or if she wants to leave you and you  let  
her." 
	Ranko  had a sour face on. She was the goddess of 
affection.  She knew  perfectly well that this idiot human and 
her tomboy  cousin were going to follow the dictates of their 
hearts. Damn.
	Ranma  gave a huge sigh. "Come on then you two. If  I  
can't get rid of either of you, I've at least got to see about  
finding us  a place to live," he picked up the bag and jerked  
his  thumb down the road "My van's parked around the corner..."
	The two goddesses shrugged and turned to follow him.
	As the three made their way down the curb, Ranma muttered 
to himself, "What else could go wrong..?"
	Overhead,  storm  clouds  rumbled  ominously  as  though  
in answer.

To be continued....

-----------------------

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