This is something a little different from the other 
crossovers you've no doubt seen. I've tried to catch the spirit 
of both worlds without making it too much like one or the other. 
Despite the names shared by these characters with their 
originals, the characters may not necessarily act the way their 
namesakes would. Keep it in mind. I've tried to make it a bit 
more mature, but still keeping a bit of absurdity to keep things 
interesting. Also keep in mind that there are quite a number of 
cameos from various sources. Spot them all and win a prize! (Not 
cash, sorry...) Please send C&C and any suggestions on the story 
to [email protected].  

	Standard fanfic disclaimer averring that all characters, 
situations,  places and events with even a vague resemblance to 
the work of Rumiko Takahashi, Fujishima Kosuke's, CLAMP, whoever 
did Koko  wa  Greenwood or any one of a number of works, probably 
was borrowed in  the  first place. Apologies to all. Rights are 
to whoever owns them. Don't bother to sue, though. I'm broke.

PART II: Of New Loves and Old Friends 

	Ranma was in a lousy mood and the weather was mirroring  
his sentiments. It was raining hard out there. He had been using  
the phone  at Ucchan's for the better part of an hour now. It  
was  a cozy, little, okonomiyaki  restaurant.  The food  was  
good  and reasonably priced, but  eating  here  always reminded  
him of an old friend of his from high school  for  some reason, 
so he rarely went here. They were here because it was the only 
place still open in the vicinity. It's at times like this when 
you find out who your real friends are, he  thought  to himself. 
It was already past midnight and he still didn't have a place to 
stay. 
	None of his friends had any room for him and two women. 
Mostly it  would  be  either  just  for  him  (from  his  female 
acquaintances) or for the women (the offers coming from his  male 
friends) but not all three of them. 
	The continuous dull patter of rain on the restaurant's roof 
was starting to lull Ranma to sleep. He was exhausted and 
homeless.  This was a truly lousy way to end a day... He glanced 
at his two companions to make sure they were doing okay. 
      Ranko was sitting contentedly at one booth nursing a  hot 
chocolate whose contents had already taken time to congeal at the 
bottom of the mug. Akane on the other hand looked as miserable as 
he felt, sipping her tea. He wished that he could be with her for 
the rest of time... or so she'd said. That in and of itself 
wasn't that bad. Ranma found that he rather liked her... even if 
they'd only met a few hours ago and she had a tendency to get 
very violent. But what did you expect from the goddess of 
Conflicts?  Unfortunately, Ranko and a weird proximity triggered 
sex change curse had somehow gotten into the deal as well.
	He cradled the receiver and took out his phone card. He 
walked back to their booth, where he sat down next to Akane, as 
far as possible from Ranko and said, "That's it... nothing."
	Ranko shrugged and took another drink out of her almost 
treacle like chocolate.
      "So what do we do now?" asked Akane. She hated to admit it, 
but she was getting scared. She had never had to deal with 
anything like this before. She felt way out of her league.  Her 
duties used to include only weather patterns and competition for 
food by wild animals... She wasn't used to dealing with people on 
a one on one basis. In the old days the extent of her dealings 
with humans only included getting them wet on schedule. The lousy 
weather was actually her fault. She tended to echo her sentiments 
to the sky... and right now  she felt like crying.
      "Don't worry. Something will turn up eventually," said 
Ranko airily, "This is just a temporary aberration."
      Ranma's hand slammed down on the table, "Ranko, what are 
you talking about? I don't have a place to live thanks to you and 
you call it a `temporary aberration'!?"
      "It's not a problem. If something threatens to  invalidate 
the contract, that is, something threatens to separate either  of 
us  from you, the `Ultimate Force' will come into play  and  help 
facilitate  things and prevent contract breach. You'll see...  " 
Ranko said with a shrug of her smooth shoulders.
      "What are you babbling about?!" asked Ranma.
      Akane threw a frown in Ranko's direction, "It's what I 
meant when I told you bad things would happen if you tried to get 
rid of either of us. What she means is that there is a force 
which seeks to make sure that all contracts with our office are 
enforced. She probably thinks that since not having a home will 
make us want to leave you...  the Ultimate Force  will come into 
play and grant us a place to  live..."  she snapped her fingers, 
"Just like that."
             "Bingo, hammer girl. You hit the nail right on the 
head... so to speak."
      "Quit calling me hammer girl, you imbecile!"
      "Will the both of you calm down?!" hissed Ranma at the  
two, "We  already  got kicked out of the Nekohanten by the  old  
ghoul because you two started fighting."
      "Ahhh...  what  do  you know, anyway?"  said  Ranko  with  
a dismissive gesture.
      Akane smirked, "Ranko... remember the specs for the 
Ultimate Force?"
      "Sure  I do... I've been serving the Goddess  Relief  
Office longer than you have, you know."
      "Do you remember what the response time is supposed to be?"
      "Yeah..."  Ranko suddenly stopped herself as she  seemed  
to realize   something.   Her  face  took  on  a   look   of   
acute embarrassment.
      "It's five minutes, give or take two minutes, right?"  
Akane asked nastily.
      "Er... yeah."
      "Ranma's  been  looking for a place for us for a  good  
hour now, wouldn't you say?"
      "Uh-huh..."   continued   Ranko,  not   liking   where   
the conversation was headed.
	"Doesn't that tell you something?"
	"Like I said... temporary aberration... some sort of system 
error..." Ranko replied vaguely.
	Akane stood up, "A temporary aberration would have been 
spotted an hour ago! Something is definitely wrong with our 
contracts if they're not getting enforced!"
 	"Akane, calm down. Please," shushed Ranma,  pulling  Akane 
back  down  into  her seat, "If  I  understand  you  correctly... 
your... er... `office' should have helped us find a place to stay 
by now?"
      Akane and Ranko glared at each other but eventually both 
nodded.
 	"So something  has got to be wrong if we  haven't  found  a 
place  yet?  Or does it just mean that  Akane  won't  necessarily 
leave me if I don't find us someplace to live?"
      The two goddesses exchanged looks of surprise... that was  
a distinct possibility too.
      "Hmm...  does this mean the Ultimate Force will also try  
to keep  me  from... er... breaking your heart? That would  lead  
to contract breach... right?"
      Akane blushed slightly, "Um..."
      "If you're planning on cheating on her, Saotome," said 
Ranko, "Don't bother.  I've  seen  people run smack dab  against  
the  Ultimate Force. It's not a pretty sight." 
      Ranma gave Ranko a bewildered look. He sighed and thought 
to himself, "Why did I have to be saddled with her? Why?"
      He  eventually  said, "In any case, it looks like  we'll  
be sleeping in the van... at least for tonight."
      "The  van?!!?"  roared Ranko, drawing herself  to  her  
full  height, which truth to tell wasn't particularly impressive,  
"That  piece of garbage?! I refuse to bruise  my  lovely young 
body scrunched up in that awful little heap!"
      "Ranko! Shut up! We don't have much of a choice, now do  
we? I  don't like the idea much either, but Ranma has no  more  
money and  I  don't want to sleep in some alley or on  a  park  
bench!" replied Akane, also standing up.
      Ranma  made  shushing gestures, but both  goddesses  
ignored him. 
      "Excuse me," said a voice approaching their table.
      Ranma buried his face in his hands and muttered to  
himself, "I don't need this aggravation..."
      "What?!" asked the goddesses in unison, turning towards  
the source of the voice.
      The voice had come from the tall, handsome brunette with 
long hair tied back into a neat ponytail. The person had just  
removed an apron with the word, "UCCHAN'S" written on it.  Under 
the apron, was a shirt with a button down collar and blue jeans.
"I couldn't help but overhearing..."
      "They  could  hear them all the way  to  China..."  
muttered Ranma darkly. Akane pulled out her hammer and walloped 
him on the head without looking.
      "I'm  closing  up in a few minutes... If  you  folks  
really don't have a place to stay... well, there's an extra room 
in  the back that has a couple of old futons. There should be 
enough room for three people. If you want, I can let you stay for 
the night."
      "Thank  you, kind sir," said Ranko fluttering her lashes 
and smiling impishly at the manager, "Could you do us the honor 
of telling us your name?"
      The  manager  blushed and looked flustered,  but  
eventually managed to say, "Ukyou Kuonji. You can call me Ukyou. 
I own  this place,  I  could  use some people to work  here,  too  
if  you're interested.  We might be able to work out a deal for 
you guys  to live on the premises... "
      Ranma's brow furrowed momentarily in recognition... the 
name sounded oddly familiar...
      Akane  got a relieved look in her eye, and murmured  
softly, "I guess, the Ultimate Force is working, after all..."
      Ranma  jumped  up and bowed low, "Thanks, Ukyou,  we  
really appreciate it."
      "Sure,  no  problem.  I  just couldn't  let  you  people  
go homeless.  It isn't safe for the ladies out there, even with  
you to  protect them..." Ukyou said looking intently at  Ranma,  
"You are?"
      "Ranma--" 
      "Ranko  Tendo," she interrupted, bowing low enough  to  
show Ukyou a good deal of cleavage.
      "Akane Tendo."
      Ukyou's eyebrow raised a little, "Related?"
      "Cousins," replied the two at the same time. They glared  
at each other again.
      "Well, just let me close up, then I'll show you the room."
      "Sure.  Thanks  again," said Ranma, smiling,  "If  you  
need anything...  anything  at all... I don't have much, but  
I'll  be glad to give it if you ask. We owe you for this."
      "Well,  you could start by helping me clean  up,  
afterwards though..." Ukyou smiled cattily at Ranma, "I'm sure 
I'll think of something..."
      The  manager  entered  a broom closet and  pulled  out  
some brooms  and  mops. Ukyou was feeling rather  oddly  
impulsive... inviting  these people to live at  Ucchan's  without 
even  finding out who they were... but there was something  about 
that Ranma fellow which looked oddly familiar to Ukyou...
      Ranma for some reason felt distinctly... worried.
      Akane smiled at the exchange wordlessly.  For no 
discernible reason  to her, she suddenly felt an odd surge of  
jealousy.  She shook  her  head  to clear it. Surely  she  
couldn't  be  feeling jealous over the way this guy was staring 
at Ranma, could she?
      Ranko, while the same age as Akane, was  decades ahead as 
far as sophistication was concerned. She understood  the look  
Ukyou  was  giving  Ranma  immediately,  but  didn't   feel 
concerned  at all. After all, this poor sap was going to have  to 
go up against the Ultimate Force to get anywhere with Ranma. That 
wasn't  bloody  likely.  She smiled to  herself...  it  would  be 
interesting to watch though.

      The clean up took less than half an hour and Ukyou led  
them to the store room, helping them to lay out the futons.
      "Well, I'll be turning in now," said Ukyou with a smile,  
"I live on the second floor. If you need anything, just knock on 
the door at the top of the stairs, and if anyone wants to take a 
bath  in the morning, it's the door on the landing. There are 
spare  towels in there, too."
      "Thanks,  Darling," said Ranko, cheerfully  blowing  
another kiss at Ukyou.
      The  manager took a last nervous glance at Ranko  and  
bowed out. After Ukyou had left, Akane shot Ranko a look of 
disgust and said, "Honestly Ranko, you're a shameless flirt!"
      "Hey,  it was the least I could do... considering that  
he's helping us out."
      "But did you have to bend over like that every time he  
came close?"
      "I like to think of it as a partial repayment. Besides...  
I don't  think  I'm the one he's interested in..."  Ranko  let  
her statement hang.
      "What do you mean?" Ranma asked smoothing down his futon.
      "Weelllll... it's just that our benefactor was shooting 
some rather sultry looks someone else's way..."
      "Who?"  asked  Ranma  not  entirely  in  step  with  
matters innuendo wise, "He was looking at Akane?"
      Akane blushed red, "No, he wasn't..!"  she  had  obviously 
picked up faster than Ranma did. "...er... he was... um..."
      "Jeez,  you're dense, Saotome," muttered Ranko as  she  
took off her outer coat.
      "Oh yeah, one other thing, " she added, tagging Ranma on 
the shoulder,  "Just to make sure you don't try anything funny  
while Akane and I are sleeping."
      Ranma looked down at herself and tried to keep from 
screaming again. This  entire turning into a woman thing was 
definitely  going  to take some getting used to.
      "What  do you mean `try anything funny'?!" asked Ranma,  
now with a girl's voice.
      "Funny as in lecherous or weird not funny ha ha, if you 
must have me define it," Ranko replied with a smirk. She settled  
into her futon and was snoring away within a matter of seconds.
      "I  am really starting to see why you don't like  her  
much, Akane," Ranma said.
      "Oh,  this  is nothing... she was a lot worse when  we  
were kids."
      Ranma merely nodded agreeably and said, "This is  
definitely going  to take some getting used too," she said, 
looking  herself over.
      Akane took a look at Ranko and asked shyly, "Would you  
like me to change you back?"
      "Um...  you don't have to," Ranma glanced at Ranko,  with  
a nervous smile, "Actually I think she might have a point..."
      Akane blushed deeply and her expression had turned into  
one of rage as she pulled out her hammer, "You wouldn't, dare!" 
      Ranma held out her hands defensively, "No! Of course not!  
I was just kidding, okay?! It was a joke!"
      "Oh..." said Akane, lowering the hammer. For some reason 
she felt oddly disappointed. She hefted her weapon again, smiling 
dangerously, "Well,  why not? I'm not cute enough for you, is 
that it?! Is that it?!!"
             "Argh..!  Put  that  thing down, Akane, I  didn't  
say  that either!  You are... er... That is..." Akane lowered it 
again  and 
      Ranma breathed a sigh of relief, "What I mean is... er... 
we just met  today. Besides, we're sharing the room with  your  
cousin... and... uh..."
      Akane got a hold of herself slowly and managed to say  
after a  few moment's thought, "Its okay, Ranma, I'm kidding 
too,"  she said  unconvincingly, "But seriously, I mean it's no  
problem  if you're a guy with us," she paused and looked him 
straight in  the eye, "I trust you."
      Ranma  smiled  at that, "That's nice to know,  Akane..."  
he coughed  nervously  and shot a glance at the other  goddess,  
"If you're sure its no problem..."
      "Not  at all, come over here," she said beckoning  to  
Ranma over Ranko's sleeping form.
      Akane could have just tagged Ranma on the shoulder as  
Ranko had done, but instead she impulsively placed her hand on  
Ranma's cheek and watched the transformation. One moment, she was  
taller than  Ranma, the next he was towering over her. She let 
her  hand rest on his cheek for a while longer. 
      The two stood in silence for long seconds. Akane noticed  
to her  surprise that Ranma's face began to get warmer and a  
little red for some reason. Ranma put his hand over hers and  
eventually said with some embarrassment "I think you can put your 
hand down, Akane-chan... We'd better turn in," he added 
hurriedly.
      "Er... sorry, I didn't realize. Sorry,"  replied Akane  
also burning  red  with embarrassment. She certainly didn't  miss  
the fact that he had called her Akane-chan either.
      So  without  any further word, Ranma and Akane lay  down  
to sleep.  Akane was still trying to get used to how things were  
in the human realm, but was certain that she was doing a good job 
of adapting. She still had a lot to think about... especially  
about Ranma. 
      Ranma  was  certain  that he  would  have  trouble  
sleeping tonight,  despite  his  exhaustion. Not only was  there  
his  now rather  mutable  sexuality to consider and his  current  
homeless situation,  but  there was Akane as well... he was a man  
of  his word, he wouldn't try anything... but he certainly 
couldn't  stop himself from thinking about it. 
      Both  were  so  busy covering  up  their  embarrassment  
and pretending  to sleep  that neither of them noticed  that  
Ranko's snores had stopped. A small frown was already forming on  
Ranko's features...  "So,  that's  how it is,"  she  thought  to  
herself sleepily, mulling over the two's conversation,  "I didn't 
realize my tomboy cousin had a romantic bone in her body... Not 
good.  If she  keeps  this up, he'll never want to  break  her  
contract... Akane and I'll be stuck down here forever..."
      "No  way.  Not if I can help it" she muttered  aloud  
before drifting back to sleep. 

 	Akane  got up fairly early the next morning. She was  
rather surprised  to  find the still snoozing Ranma, his  face  
under  a pillow,  was now back to being a female... Ranko had  
disappeared as  well,  but  Akane was sure she could  hear  
someone  singing to the tune of a radio. Very bad singing. Her 
curiosity piqued by this and certain that whatever had happened   
it  was all Ranko's fault, Akane stormed off  to  find her. Akane 
moved up the stairs, to where the hideous singing was  louder. 
She  eventually realized that Ranko had taken Ukyou's offer of  a 
bath. The door to the changing room was unlocked and she  marched 
through  the divider without breaking stride. 
 	"Alright,  what  were  you trying to do  last  night?!"  
she roared.
 	Sitting in the tub, Ranma looked at Akane with shock, cut 
off in midnote.  Akane was  also no doubt shocked. Ranma quickly 
ducked under the  water to  cover himself and replied, edging 
towards the far end of  the bath, "I didn't do anything!! I kept 
as far away from both of you as possible!" 
	Akane, realizing what an error she had made quickly  
averted her  gaze  and  covered her eyes, "Oh God,  I'm  sorry  
Ranma,  I thought that was you still sleeping down there!"
 	"What are you talking about!?" 
 	Ranko suddenly appeared behind Akane leering openly at 
Ranma, "Yeah, right Akane...  you  were just looking for an 
excuse to burst in on Ranma naked..."
 	"But  I thought that was him downstairs..!"  Akane  angrily 
replied  turning  on Ranko. She stared as she realized  what  had 
caused her mistake. Ranko's braid was now as short as Ranma's and 
she was wearing a tank-top and Chinese pants similar to what 
Ranma was wearing last night.
 	Ranko  noticed her staring and gave her head a quick  
shake, causing  the  rest  of her braid to unfold  from  wherever  
she'd hidden  it.  She smiled at Akane. "What a pair you  two  
are!  An exhibitionist  and a voyeur!" she shouted as she dashed  
out  the door, "Enjoy the show, Akane!"
 	With  a puff of smoke Ranko had transformed into a six  
inch version  of herself, with stocky body dimensions and  a  
much larger head in proportion to the rest of her body. She 
looked a lot like a superdeformed doll  version of  herself. She 
slid down the banister and was  already  looking for a good 
hiding place.
 	"Sorry,  about  that,  Ranma..." said Akane  meekly  as  
she stepped out and closed the door. Outside she roared at the 
top of her  voice, "Ranko!! Get back here!!!" In the  distance,  
thunder rolled, echoing her sentiments.
 	In  the tub Ranma buried his face in his hands and  
muttered to himself, "What did I do to deserve this?"
 	Upstairs,  what  with all the noise, Ukyou was  starting  
to wonder if it was really a good idea to have invited those  
people to  stay  the night. They seemed like nice enough people  
at  the time. And that Ranma reminded Ukyou of an old friend back 
in high school.  "So  handsome..."  the manager  sighed  and  
opened  the apartment's front door. She shook her head Akane was 
on the lower landing, obviously searching for something.
 	"Tendo-san, Good morning. Did you sleep well?"
 	Noticing  Ukyou at the top of the stairs, "Oh... er...  
Good morning. Yes, Kuonji-san, thank you."
 	Ukyou  looked  at her and saw how tense and alert  she  
was, "Akane? Is something wrong?"
 	Akane still looked distracted, as though she'd just heard  
a sound but now wasn't sure. "Um... No... nothing at all. 
 	"Is anyone in the bath, then?" asked Ukyou.
 	Akane's head suddenly snapped to base of the stairs where  
a small doll appeared to be hiding. Ukyou gave the doll a 
perplexed glance as it winked back at the manager.
 	"Ranko..."  Akane growled, totally focused on her  prey  
and ignoring  all  distractions, "Excuse me a minute,  Ukyou..."  
she said  as  she bounded down the stairs after  the  now  
retreating doll, her hammer up and ready.
 	Ukyou  was  utterly  confused  now.  With  a  shrug,   
Ukyou proceeded to the bath... little realizing that Akane had 
not even heard the question.
 	The manager knocked on the bath door and said, "It's  
Ukyou, mind if I join you?" 
 	Inside,  Ranma  said, "Sure come on in...  I'm  nearly  
done anyway," 
 	It was his bath anyway, Ranma added to himself.
 	Ukyou  entered the bath's changing room and  stripped  
down, taking extra care while removing the chest bindings. "It 
did seem odd though," Ukyou noted, "Ranko's voice seemed a lot 
deeper than it  did  last  night..." she shrugged it off and  
slid  open  the divider.
 	Ranma stood up and was about to step out of the tub when 
the divider  opened again... and time stopped. Standing just  
outside was  a tall, attractive woman with handsome features. She  
had  a smile, a small towel over one shoulder and that was about 
all she was  wearing. She was two up on Saotome though... his  
towel  was across the room and he wasn't smiling. It took a few 
moments for the shock to wear off, but when it did...
 	"Who are you?!"
 	"You're not Ranko!!"
 	Both  screamed  simultaneously. Ranma ducked back  into  
the water for the sake of modesty and the girl did her best to  
cover herself  with  the little towel. It wasn't doing  a  
particularly good job... Ranma was getting dangerously clear 
views of what the girl was trying to hide. She didn't like 
that...
 	Ranko and Akane heard the shouting and quickly rushed up  
to investigate.
 	"Ranma! What's wrong?" said Akane, concerned as she  
hurried into the bathroom.
 	The  little  doll Ranko bounced in a few moments  later  
and transformed  into her normal form in another puff of smoke,  
"Now what?" she asked, annoyed. Their expressions suddenly 
changed  as they  got  a  better look at the  situation.  Ranko's  
expression turned to amusement and Akane's had turned into one of 
shock.
 	Ranma  was out cold in the tub, face down with a  stream  
of bubbles  coming from his mouth. The girl had a towel rack in  
one hand  which she had obviously torn off from one of the walls  
and was using her other hand to hold up her towel.
 	The  girl turned her back to Saotome and said  furiously  
to Akane,  pointing at her with the towel rack, "I thought you  
said Ranko was in here!" 
 	"When did I do that? Who are you?" asked Akane.
 	"I'm Ukyou!"
 	"But Ukyou's a guy!" Akane replied.
 	"That's not the issue, here!"
 	"Ranko!  What did you do to Ukyou?!" said Akane  turning  
on her cousin, now certain Ranko had done something horrible,  
after all... wasn't it her fault that Ranma turned into a girl?
 	"What  do  you mean what did I do?" asked  Ranko,  
genuinely hurt.
 	Ranma made a series of choking noises and finally managed 
to revive  enough to lift his head out of the water,  "What did  
you do that for?" he asked groggily, trying to look around. His  
eyes finally focused on something nearby...
 	Akane felt relieved as she  noticed Ranma's head finally 
coming up, but he  still looked  a bit dazed. His head swiveled 
around until  finally  his eyes seemed to lock, almost by 
accident on Ukyou...
 	Ukyou  heard  Ranma revive and realized belatedly  that  
her little towel was only large enough to cover her front. And  
Ranma was behind her.
 	Several things happened simultaneously. Ranma realized  
what precisely he was looking at and quickly averted his gaze.  
Akane, realizing  what  Ranma was looking at, brought  out  her  
hammer. 
 	Ukyou realizing that her bottom did feel a little drafty, 
dropped her  weapon,  covered  herself with her  hand  and  
quickly  spun around. Ranko started giggling.
 	"Ranma, you pervert!!" said Akane bringing her hammer up  
to punish him.
 	"I  didn't see anything!! I didn't see  anything!! Honest!" 
Ranma pleaded as he was hammered into the wall beside the tub. 
His eyes firmly shut the whole time to make sure that he really 
didn't see anything.
 	"Stop  that!!" said Ukyou, no one was precisely  certain  
if she meant the hammering or Ranma's staring, not even her.
 	Ranma found himself embedded in the tiles again and  
managed to croak out, "What have I done to deserve this?" before  
passing out.
	"I  can't believe I trusted him, the creep," Akane  
muttered to herself.
 	Ranko  leaned against the frame of the door, "But,  
Akane... this  was all your fault. You told Ukyou that I was in  
the  bath when you knew that it was Ranma in there all along..."
 	Ukyou  turned  on Akane in a fury once more, "You  mean  
you were helping this lecher!?"
 	"No  I  am not helping him and no I didn't tell  Ukyou  
that Ranko was in the bathroom!"
 	"Yes  you did," Ranko continued, "You were still  trying  
to hammer me on the stairs and he..." she said pointing at the 
girl, who  frowned, "Er... she was trying to talk to you.  You  
weren't paying attention."
 	"Are we sure that's Ukyou?" asked Akane.
 	"I'm  going  to get dressed and we are all going to  have  
a long  discussion  about this downstairs," Ukyou said in  a  
voice that would brook no argument, "Somebody put some clothes on 
him and drag him down, too... I want to talk to him." 
 	Ranko's  face  had  a crooked grin as  she  looked  down  
on Ranma's  unconscious form, "You know, Saotome... you've sure  
got some way with women."
 	"`Saotome?'"  said Ukyou, as she buttoned her top, not 
bothering with the chest bindings which would have taken too 
long,  "Why  did you just call him Saotome?"
 	Ranko frowned, "It's his name. Ranma Saotome."
 	"Saotome? I thought he said his name was Ranma Tendo?" 
 	"Why would he be named Tendo?"
 	"I thought you said you were his cousins?" said Ukyou.
 	Akane  offered, "Ranko and I are cousins. Ranma's just  
a... er..."
 	"Her boyfriend." Ranko said in her silky voice.
 	"He is not!" said Akane, with surprising vehemence.
	Ukyou blinked at the two in confusion... as she turned her 
attention to the mildly bruised and unconscious Ranma.
 	"Oh,  yeah..." said Ranko, sounding thoughtful, "He said  
he wanted  to spend the rest of his life with you... It wasn't  
what he said precisely, but that's what he meant. You're right... 
you two are more like betrothed than boyfriend-girlfriend," she 
added, smiling.
 	"That's  not it either! He wanted--" Akane tried to  
answer, desperately embarrassed.
 	"He  wanted  you, hammer girl." said  Ranko  with  
finality, jabbing a finger in Akane's direction.
 	Akane wanted to shove her hammer down Ranko's throat, but 
at the  same  time  she rather liked the thought  of  Ranma  
wanting her... somehow. Blushing red, she walloped Ranko into the  
floor, "Just shut up, Ranko! You're stuck to him too!"
 	As  Ranko  picked  herself up Ukyou,  who  had  been  
gazing intently  at  Ranma and utterly oblivious of Ranko and 
Akane's exchange, asked again, "You two are  sure his name's 
Ranma Saotome?"
 	"Yes... why do you ask?" the two goddesses asked 
simultaneously.
 	She brought her face on level with Ranma's, "Well... I 
think he's a friend of mine from high school."
 	"He is?!" asked the two goddesses at the same time. They 
glared at each other as they both said, "Stop that!"
      Ranma,  who  had finally recovered enough to open  his  
eyes, blinked a  couple  of times  desperately trying to get his 
brain restarted. The first thing he noticed was that there was a 
girl peering very closely at his face. That wasn't so bad, since 
that sort of thing had happened to him many times before, but it 
wasn't something he was comfortable with... The second thing he 
noticed was that her face was only a few inches away from his 
own... uncomfortably close... The third thing he noticed was that 
her eyes were very beautiful...
	He blinked a couple more times, allowing his eyes to focus 
on her properly and backing off a little to see her better, when 
he finally realized who it was and said,  "Is  that  you, 
Ucchan?" Amazing what two blows to the head can do to jog your 
memory. She was a very good friend from high school... they'd 
been close, but drifted apart when they went off to college... 
last he'd heard... she was planning on marrying some guy she'd 
met in Kyoto...
      Ukyou was startled but recovered quickly enough to hug  him 
and  say, "It is you Ranchan! I'm so happy! It's been  so  long! 
Stay as long as you like!" said Ukyou, who was feeling  like  a 
giddy teenager all over again, "Your friends can stay too if they 
want! It's so good to see you!!"
      "Wait, slow down," said Ranma still half dazed, "It's  
great to  see  you  too, Ucchan, but who was the guy we met last 
night? Your husband?"
      Ukyou's  smile faltered for the briefest of instants  
before it  was  back, she hit him playfully on the arm, "You big 
silly, that was me!"
	"Oh... Er... I thought you looked familiar... but why were 
you dressed as a guy?"
	"I don't really like to talk about  it,  Ran-chan," she 
said smiling, "Let's go downstairs... we have a lot of catching 
up to do!"
      "Sure.  Sure.  We can talk there..." Ranma was still  a  
bit confused and not entirely certain why it was so drafty... 
Ranko gave a small self contented smile as she watched Ukyou give 
Ranma another very enthusiastic hug... made all the worse by four 
facts: the fact that Ranma only had a towel draped over his 
midsection; the fact that Ukyou was wearing a half buttoned shirt 
and nothing else; the fact that Ranma didn't look at all 
unpleased that Ukyou was hugging him, and the fact that Akane was 
watching, with a scowl. If this didn't  make that stupid tomboy 
want to break the contract, Ranko mused, she didn't know what 
would. 
      "What is going on here?" Akane asked manhandling Ranma  
away from Ukyou. 
      "Can  I at least get dressed first?" asked  Ranma  
realizing that he only had a thin linen towel to protect his 
modesty  with. Akane and Ukyou hastily backed out to let him get 
dressed, Ukyou pausing just long enough to pick up her boxer 
shorts. Ranko left last, taking her time and ogling him. 

	Ranma made his way down to the restaurant proper a few 
moments later to find Ranko and Akane seated at the counter. It 
was still before opening time and Ukyou had already done most of 
the necessary clean up. She was at the grill cooking up a batch 
of her specialty okonomiyaki for their breakfast. 
	Ukyou smiled brightly at  Ranma as he walked towards them, 
"Breakfast's on, Sugar. Catch it while its hot."
	Akane frowned to herself at Ukyou's familiar tone with 
Ranma... Was she an old girlfriend? She asked herself.
	Jealousy begins to rear its ugly head, thought Ranko 
silently, This is great! I couldn't have planned it better 
myself!
	The smell of the cooking food drew Ranma down faster, 
"Smells great, Ucchan." He said with a smile, "You haven't lost 
your touch, I see."
	Ukyou dimpled slightly at the compliment, "Thanks. I like 
what you did with your hair, by the way. The braid suits you 
better than that silly crewcut. I almost didn't recognize you."
	Smiling, Ranma absently tugged at his braid, "Thanks. But 
you know it was all Principal Kuno's fault why the guys had to 
have short hair."
	Ukyou laughed, "Yeah, he chased everyone around the campus 
with those barbers shears."
	Ranma laughed also, "It wasn't that funny! He was a fast 
old guy..."
	"Who's principal Kuno?" asked Ranko getting lost in the 
conversation of the two friends.
	"Our deranged principal from high school," Ukyou  said 
dismissively, adding with a smile, "What a nut..."
	"His kids are studying at N.I.T." Ranma added 
conversationally.
	"No?" said Ukyou a little surprised, "Really? I'd've 
thought they would have stayed in Tokyo."
	"Um... So... You two really know each other?" asked Akane 
trying to break into the conversation.
	Ranma nodded, "Yeah, we were best friends in high school."
	"Pretty inseparable, right Ranchan?" Ukyou added with a 
giggle.
	"Yeah," Ranma agreed as he sat down next to Akane. She 
favored him with a small smile which he returned. That did not 
pass Ukyou's notice... she raised an eyebrow but made no comment.
	"It seems like such a long time ago..." said Ukyou 
wistfully as she passed Ranko an okonomiyaki.
	Ranma nodded, "Yeah. I guess it was. How are you anyway?"
	Ukyou smiled sweetly, "Well, as you can see, I have my own 
business," she gestured expansively, "It's all mine!" she thought 
for a moment then added with a giggle, "Well, mine and the 
bank's!"
	Ranma laughed easily at the joke, Ranko did so politely, 
around her own breakfast... Akane however was feeling rather 
uncomfortable at the easy friendship between Ukyou and Ranma.
	"Just yours, Ucchan?" Ranma asked finally, slightly 
puzzled.
	Ukyou nodded, flipping another perfect okonomiyaki onto a 
plate just as Ranma said, "What about your husband? Weren't you 
marrying that guy fro-"
	She nearly dropped the plate in surprise at his mention of  
her marriage. Her face suddenly turned unreadable and her voice 
was cold and dead as she said, "I didn't marry him."
	Ranma, oblivious to Ukyou's sudden change of mood was about 
to ask for details, but Akane noticed her discomfort. She put a 
hand on Ranma's arm and shook her head when she'd caught his 
attention. Ranma looked confused, but didn't press the issue.
	"I'd rather not talk about it," Ukyou said finally in the 
same dead voice.
	Ranko smiled to herself, Very interesting... sorrow. Lots 
and lots of it. Rage too... could come in handy...
	Ukyou's face brightened suddenly again, "You guys still 
need a place to stay, right? My offer still stands Ranchan, I 
still need people to work here and I have some extra room. I was 
only planning on hiring two people, but considering how much 
business has been improving, I think three would work out pretty 
well, too. What do you guys say?"
	"If you're sure, Ucchan," Ranma said also brightening a 
little.
	"Are you kidding?" she said, "This place does gets kinda 
lonely sometimes... it would be nice to have some company,." she 
added, smiling.
	"We are so lucky, aren't we, Akane?" Ranko said adding a 
wink in Akane's direction.
 	"Yeah," Akane replied sullenly, "Lucky."
	Ranko was picking at her own breakfast as she said cattily, 
"You two were pretty close, huh?"
	"You could say that," said Ukyou with a slight blush.	
	Akane seemed even more uncomfortable as she said, "Oh..."
	Ranma hastily replied, "It's not like that, Akane! We were 
just friends that's all!"
	Ukyou was a little taken aback by the Ranma's reaction but 
she laughed lightly as she replied, "Not for lack of trying on 
our friends' parts to get us together though."
	Ranko, looking for more fuel for the fire, said, "You mean 
you two weren't an item?"
	"No," said Ukyou with a slight trace of wistfulness in her 
voice.
	"Ranko, quit bugging, her!" said Akane suddenly.
	"It's okay, Akane, I don't mind," Ukyou replied easily.
	Ranko whispered to Akane, "What's the matter, hammer girl? 
Worried we'll find out something unpleasant about your fiance?"
	"He is NOT my fiance!" Akane roared at Ranko.
	Ranma jerked back a little at the vehemence in Akane's 
voice... Ukyou was also mildly shocked.
	Ukyou looked at Akane who was breathing hard and just an 
inch away from pulling her hammer out to wallop Ranko into the 
floor. Then she looked at Ranma who was looking at Akane, 
somewhat worriedly. Then back to Akane...
	"She's your fiance, Ranchan?" Ukyou asked, very surprised.
	"I am not!" 
	"No she isn't!"
 	Ranma and Akane shouted simultaneously.
	Ranko smirked, "Oh, yes you are... you've even got a 
registered contract and everyithing! You're practically man and 
wife since Saotome here proposed!"
	"That was not a proposal, Ranko and you know it!" Ranma 
said.
	Ranko put the back of one wrist to her forehead and said in 
heavy mock tradgedy, "You ask the girl to stay with you for the 
rest of your life and you claim that isn't a proposal?"
	"It was an accident, Ranko!" said Akane, "He didn't 
realize-"
	"Didn't realize what an awful decision he'd made!" crowed 
Ranko triumphantly.
	"You take that back, incompetent!" said Akane, pulling her 
hammer out.
	"Akane, it's not worth beating her up for it!" Ranma said 
desperately trying to hold Akane back. Or pissing Ukyou off if 
either of you start tossing blasts of energy around, he added 
quietly.
	Ukyou watched them utterly confused and with a slight 
sinking feeling in her heart. She shouted, "Quiet!"
	As the three finally settled down, "Let me get this 
straight..." she pointed to Akane, "You're Ranma's fiance, 
right?"
	Akane looked embarassed as she put her hammer away, "Um... 
in a manner of speaking... I suppose... actually... it's not 
quite the word I'd use..."
	Ranko said with a smirk, "I think she'd like to be called 
'girlfriend' instead. For now anyway. She'll probably want to be 
known as 'Mrs. Saotome' soon enough..."
	"Ranko, shut up!"
	"Okay," she gave Ranma a cheerful look, "Why didn't you 
mention this sooner?"
	"Er... It wasn't my fault?" said Ranma lamely.
	Ukyou sighed, "Same old Ranchan," she looked at Ranko and 
then asked, "So what are you doing with your girlfriend's cousin 
then?"
	Akane muttered, "She's here because she's an 
incompetent..."
	Ranko gave a brief self-satisfied smile as she said, "I'm 
watching over them."
	"You're what?" asked Ukyou.
	"No you're not! You're causing all of the trouble in the 
first place!" said Akane brandishing her hammer.
	"This makes absolutely no sense to me." muttered Ukyou. 
	Ranma sighed, "I don't really understand it myself..."
	Ukyou said happily, "Ranchan, when you make a situation for 
your self you don't do it half heartedly!"
	Ranma burried his face in his hands and muttered, "It's not 
like I asked for this..."
	"Actually you did..." Ranko interrupted.
	The argument and supposed clarification continued on for 
the better part of the morning... in the end, Ukyou didn't really 
get an explanation... but Ranma and the two goddesses ended up 
with a place to live and jobs... for a while anyway...

To be continued....

-----------------------

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